Preety_India

There is still no water in my house and it sucks to live 2 days without water..

I don't know how to feel exactly right now.

Thank you for understanding me. It brings me to tears.

Aww

Yea I feel you. Sometimes the forum is brutal. I went through a period of exhaustion, took a break and came back. Avoided certain things. Now I'm doing okay. I felt like I wanted to leave it forever. But it's not too bad. Just interact with those who understand you. Although that's a really an uphill task here. I wish you well. Don't take anything like a forum too seriously. If Life is good,thats all that matters.

I'm addicted to entertainment now..

I spent some quality time with my mom. Watched a movie with her. This is probably after 4 years of not talking to her.

Just practice using small short paragraphs at first and then gradually improve from there.

I'm so so happy today.

My most intimate journal.

@MuadDib that definitely makes me feel a bit better. I'll keep it in my mind when I go for the test. Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot.

At this point I'm just praying that my medical problems go away.. I'm a bit lazy around it, I confess. I know that I'm not sounding logical and practical. I get super nervous.

I have anxiety around medical issues.. I get hyper anxious if the doctor mentions something. I have been assigned a cancer test for the month of January and I'm getting extremely anxious about it everyday. I just can't sleep. I can't let go. I feel neurotic. I'm in my 20s. I already did a cancer test back in 2019 and it was negative. This is because my mom had cancer (something like cervical cancer and she underwent a surgery and she recovered successfully) Most likely the test is going to be negative. But the doctor wants me to do these tests just in case so that I'm always aware beforehand like a safety precaution. But every time they assign me a test, I recoil back in fear. I don't like a hospital environment. It reignites my trauma because I was a child when I saw my father in a hospital struggling for life. I try to stay away from the whole hospital medical thingy. It always gets me super nervous just approaching a medical building. I also have a fear of doctors. I see a doctor and his apron and I feel very nervous. How can I mentally prepare for the cancer test? For the same reason I suffered nightmares about Covid. I was afraid of Covid because I didn't want to be in a hospital. At some point it was okay for me to die from Covid but it wasn't okay to be in a hospital.

At this point I'm just praying that my medical problems go away.. I'm a bit lazy around it, I confess. I know that I'm not sounding logical and practical. I get super nervous.

I'm feeling too anxious. Because time is going too fast and I feel overworked. And I had a cancer test in December which I postponed until January because I'm too scared of this stuff. I still feel anxious to go to a hospital. It gives me trauma because it reminds me of my father's terminal illness.

Also my anxiety and OCD causes me to work without taking a break. This is obviously bad for my health. I work very hard and it has started to impact my life and health Sometimes I cry because all I ever do is work work work work...

I have to take my mom to the doctor in the month of January. Appointment fixed. Shift stuff from old room and keep the room ready for the guest in January Move the furniture from the room, although I can't do this physically, it's too heavy for me to move. Guess I'll have to do it alone. Sucks. Of course my mom is not going to help.

Get the eye drop

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