Preety_India

December 15. Today I'm experiencing some shoulder pain. It started with the neck and transferred to the shoulder. But I'll wait and watch for 2 days more since it's not very severe. It only lasted a few seconds so I'm not worried. But I used a strap on my shoulder anyway.

So I went out and paid the bills and came back. That was a relief. I don't know how I managed going out because I was feeling terribly anxious.

Still feeling anxious. There is still some anxiety I have been feeling since the last few hours

Note to myself - Don't be anxious. It will be okay. I will get through the day.

Just using this for reflection.

Today it's very cold and chilly here. Good for me especially in the mornings Girl go keep two full bottles of juice or water on the table.

Financial anxiety can be a really bad form of anxiety. When you are feeling uncertain about your finances and expenses keep piling up, it can leave you feeling stressed, exhausted and drained. I thought things were good or at least okay financially until the water service broke down in my house and the repair people generated a huge bill to get it fixed. They took a lot of money and I suddenly felt a bit strained My mood is pretty good when I know my finances are going fine and my mood goes really anxious and tensed when I feel like things are going to be difficult. And whenever I feel anxious my nightmares are pretty bad. It's a toxic and vicious loop. Anxiety breeds more anxiety. It's easy to tell someone to not feel anxious. But go ask someone who has debts to pay and real problems to deal with, how do they feel about it. Only people who really suffer financial issues know what sort of anxious patterns it can create. If your life is good don't judge others. You never know who is going to be sent over the edge tomorrow. Have compassion.

I earned a small accomplishment yesterday and today. So I feel slightly happy. But I'm not totally happy. It's like happiness mixed with some anxiety. The anxiety of the coming two weeks. I don't want to waste anymore time. It's next 15 days exact. Things are pending. And sometimes I feel depressed and can't get it done. The Covid really impacted my anxiety levels. I still feel a bit weird when I go out. Some places are open. Some places are closed. A lot of people lost their jobs. Nobody talks to anyone at all. Most people in my neighborhood just avoid each other. I think people are depressed in a financial kind of way because I can imagine them struggling to pay bills after they lost their jobs. There is a passive depressing effect in the air. Hopes are not very high. Nobody smiles anymore. I don't even realize how time flies by. I get something done and then I feel really anxious and tired before I take up something else. My mind is still not adjusted to all the recent changes. A new relationship obviously causes some anxiety. I'm having this relationship after breaking up with my ex like a year ago. I didn't fully heal from that breakup either. But at least I can say there has been some improvement. I think the other thing that has been causing me massive anxiety is the fact that my father's death anniversary is approaching in a few days. This particular week (every year) is always the most anxious period in my life because of all the traumatic memories. So i have been feeling happy but also a bit moody and anxious at the side as well. Every time I think of all the work I tend to get anxious. My low memory has also been causing me some moodiness because it's not a good feeling when you forget something. And lately lack of sleep, some random fights with my mom, my own lack of physical energy has all been weighing on me causing me to have poor memory. It's hard to remember stuff when you feel stressed out. Journaling right now helps a lot in distressing and unloading massive pressure from the brain When I don't journal, my pressure in the brain builds up again Journaling has helped me a lot with dealing with my anxiety.

Today I have to call the carpenter to get the door fixed.. Plus I have to pay some bills. Then my sibling had called me yesterday and told me to get something that is somewhat outside of my comfort zone and it has been stressing me out a bit. Feeling anxiety around it. I usually experience some form of social anxiety every time I have to interact with strangers. So i have been feeling a bit anxious since the past two hours regarding this work which involves talking to a stranger. But I have to get it done because my sibling can call me again. -------------------------------------- My garden is ready. Almost. I have to take a picture of the Oregano plant. I have fixed my seating arrangement with a chair and table. I also need a yoga mat. This part is in order but the CL part. I have a deadline till end of December. Plus I have got things scheduled for January.

I feel like I'm in a mental asylum or something

I see it as an example of stage Blue.

@Marcel yep. Cute typos

Don't be demoralized by such things/comments. Chin up and get thick skin. Eventually nobody can achieve anything unless you want them to. False assumptions and projection nonsense and I don't have time to defend. Okay. This is just this guys perspective and he makes a lot of false assumptions.

This place is a dumpster. The very fact that someone can't focus on themselves says it all.. How to deal with those type of comments. Think that it's their problem, false assumptions, self righteous perspectives, being dogmatic, inability to understand another's perspective, showing lack of maturity about what another person is dealing with.

Whoever is respectful to me, I'm respectful to them, finish.

@ladyshy5a it could be fatigue and tiredness or boredom?

I want to wrap myself in love.

Nobody can truly impress me if they aren't interested in cats On a side note - I'm so proud of my garden. @marcel I am your honigkuchen

The Waze system of achievement. I like this actually.

So I can do this where I can unlock achievements and earn points for each achievement along with candies. So both candies and points as rewards. Points and candies will depend on the achievement.

These are interesting

Hun. I want to wear that some day.