Preety_India

This is very subjective actually. You have to see the context here. For example in my teen years I engaged in a lot of art work. My mother wanted me to become a doctor.. For her art was bogus. But for me art meant a lot. And she would often say "oh you're wasting your time," it hurt because I was doing what I was passionate about. But in her eyes it's a waste of time. I would call that pretty judgemental. So imo, the notion that someone is wasting time is generally used by judgemental people. I won't call it a projection. I will call it a perception I gained from my experiences.

Yesterday I thought that the only way to get around all this crap was to — Deal with reality Use logical thinking Use objective thinking Discard emotional thinking Believe and trust in God That reality is very (and I mean very) harsh, hard, tough, cold, hurtful, painful and bitter yet God finds a way to get us through it. No matter what, just trust in God. This helped me ease the pressure I was feeling. Also if you don't want anymore drama in your life just don't create it, that way there are less things to heal and less things to deal with and less problems, period and less convolutions. You won't be creating new stuff to worry about or feel pressured about. I know reality is tough.

I wanted to use the natural Goddess concept in my life. Only use natural makeup and natural products. No toxic stuff.. And then... I want to use keys concept that I developed yesterday. I also want to use assessment cards and Taskmaster stuff to get work done. Plus I have "to do lists" and work related updates. I lost my job so I'll be looking into alternative ways of keeping myself engaged till I get a new job. Time to get going.

The reason this is so hard to answer is because it's a highly subjective question. To some people relationship means the world. To some relationship is a joke or nothing. An experience can be either profound or shallow depending on how you interpret it and what it becomes to you. For me a relationship is absolutely important and it means a lot to me. And so my relationship experiences are quite profound. But am I supposed to tell someone that a relationship is important to them just as it is to me? Nope. Because I don't know their perspective on relationships. If you asked me if you should miss out on organic food, I would with definite emphasis say a clear "no" because it's absolutely vital for health. However the experience of a relationship is not an absolute. It's arbitrary. It varies from person to person. If it were a basic essential like nutrition then you wouldn't find so many single people in this world. Saying that a relationship is absolutely essential (or not having it would lead to impair/regret) is like saying that all the single people in the world are doing something wrong. But they are not. And they are quite happy. So you do see the difficulty in answering such a question. It's a conflicting question. Because it could imply (without intent) a lot of things that are actually not true. A relationship is somewhat like religion. It's not a basic need, yet it still a need nonetheless. For some people religion is everything, not something they would ever miss out on. Whereas for others, religion doesn't matter and they are quite cool without subscribing to it. The same applies to a relationship. It's highly debatable. It depends so much on your own personal choice just like religion is a personal choice. You can't let people make choices for you. That's very conflicting. A relationship or the lack of a relationship and how it will impact your life is solely dependent on your own worldview. If you don't think it's a big deal, then it shouldn't impact you. A relationship impacts you only to the extent to which you want it to impact you. Nothing less or more. It's very arbitrary. It's not an essential need like food. Yes it adds value to life. But this value is supplementary, not basic. Plus there are trade-offs to this. You can't expect to venture into the market of dating or relationships and expect a great relationship being served to you on a silver platter. You have to do the hard work, give the time, go through the process and then you find a suitable partner. It's a lot of work that you should be willing to do unless you're goddamn lucky to get the best relationship on the first attempt. It's like a bet and you have to weigh your pros and cons on this bet. So obviously if you don't have too much time in life to scout for a partner, maybe you shouldn't because you might regret losing on your prioritised opportunities in life in the pursuit of a great relationship. There is more to lose that way depending on your priorities. This is like asking - should I have a pet or not? Well indeed having a pet brings quality to life, having a relationship brings even higher quality to life, yet this quality is pretty much context dependent, it depends how much you value this quality yourself. You see how your perspective colors the outcome, if you value this quality it brings to your life then it certainly is something worth investing into. Yet if you don't really value this "quality" enough, then you don't have to worry if you don't acquire it. That's why this question is very debatable. Relationships obviously add great value to life, although they can sometimes come at a huge cost. But this value is not an absolute value. It is not a basic essential, so you can easily make do without it. It's not a question of regret. It's a question of how much you want this value to exist in your life.

I deserve all the good things in life..

I have to start some positive affirmations. Affirmations like— I deserve love. I deserve pampering myself I deserve gentleness. I deserve appreciation I deserve compassion I deserve acceptance I deserve praise I deserve warmth and welcome

I have painted my room Sea Blue. Cool cool. That's my wall.

Well that could be said of almost every area or aspect of life, not just dating and relationships. There is always something we miss out on, something that we could have gained through an experience we avoided, there is always an opportunity cost associated with what we lost out on in the process of obtaining another. I can sit here and say that I might have missed out on something if I didn't travel to Australia or Greece because I could have learned something on those travels. I could have gained some experience that I might have missed. Yet is travelling to Australia really my priority? Nope. So why would missing it be an abject concern anyway? If it's not your priority, whether you gain it or miss out on it shouldn't be a matter of concern either way. Regarding consequences. You can take a look at single people around you. I don't think they really regret anything. Your mind is conjuring up unnecessary doubt and confusion. There was nothing to lose objectively speaking. But subjectively your mind can make up anything out of thin air.

I think your topic on empathy kinda vanished. Puzzled!!

If you truly want to do what you like to do then don't shame yourself for wanting it. Want it wholeheartedly without guilt. And FUCK Society.

Thank you so much for sharing. This made so much sense.

I want my mind to think that I'm worthy of things instead of the opposite.

I strongly agree with this. There is no such thing as wasted time. It's an illusion. Time is always teaching us something as we move along. The pandemic is also teaching us something. So subjectively speaking, no time is wasted. "Wasting time " is a notion that a very judgemental person would use.

Giggling.

The Natural Goddess brand concept. Quote

Will take some time.

Hehe. Thank you my love.

I'm going to be using the lock and key analogy throughout this journal.

On the subject of emotions. I have realized (today) that emotions are not necessarily a good thing, not necessarily a bad thing, but there is a huge downside to emotions that I only came across today. Till now I was completely oblivious to how emotions can harm life. I'll discuss this in detail. I'll first categorize emotions into two different categories. Healthy emotions or good emotions Dr. Fredrickson identified the following as the ten most common positive emotions: Joy, Gratitude, Serenity, Interest, Hope, Pride, Amusement, Inspiration, Awe, Love. Unhealthy emotions What are healthy emotions? Joy, Gratitude, Serenity, Interest, Hope, Pride, Amusement, Inspiration, Awe, Love. What are unhealthy emotions? Anger Emptiness Frustration Inadequacy Helplessness Fear Guilt Self pity Pain Loneliness Abandonment Depression Overwhelmed Resentment Failure Sadness Jealousy I'll describe the intensity of emotions as moderate or strong. For unhealthy emotions I'll call the yellow zone and the red zone Like a pendulum. The pendulum should swing from yellow zone to red zone. When the pendulum stays in the yellow zone it is a safe zone. When it moves into the red zone, that's a danger zone or bad zone. This is where these emotions start to create issues.. It's okay to experience anger, jealousy, hate as long as their intensity stays in the yellow zone. But if the anger reaches a level where it's too much and frequently experienced and enters the red zone this is where the anger becomes destructive and begins to attract bad things in life. Now coming to healthy emotions.. I'll have a similar zone created for healthy emotions. For healthy emotions the pendulum will swing from a brown zone to a blue zone. There is also an attached zone or additional zone attached next to the blue zone. This is the green zone. Let me explain. The healthy emotion of happiness is valid and good as long as it stays in the brown zone. The moment it crosses the brown zone and enters the blue zone, this is unhealthy happiness.. You might ask why. Well if you are too happy all the time then you will never experience pain or know pain. You are always experiencing happiness only. This means that you will never understand sadness or suffering, as a result you won't understand someone's pain or be indifferent or even insensitive to it. You might not be relate to your own child's pain and suffering because you never suffered yourself. This might make you an insensitive person. This privileged level of happiness is not a great thing. That's why the blue zone is unhealthy. Now psychopaths don't feel emotions. This is not because they are happy or unhappy. They simply do not feel emotions. Or at least lack feelings. Thus they are insensitive as well but in a different kind of way than happy people so I'll add them to the green zone. The experience of no emotion or little emotion especially in an emotional situation is a bad sign. So for such experiences I'll use the green zone. So in the case of unhealthy emotions, the pendulum will swing from brown to blue to green zones. Now what exactly happens when the pendulum of unhealthy emotions swings into the Red zone. I'll call this Emotional Red Syndrome. When the pendulum of healthy emotions swings into the green zone or blue zone I'll call Emotional Green Syndrome or Emotional Blue Syndrome and so on.. All these respective syndromes are dangerous to mental and emotional health. The best is to keep your emotions in the yellow and the brown zones. Don't allow these emotions to reach dangerous zones. When you suffer these syndromes, they act like a key. The lock represents chaos, bad people, dysfunctional people, narcissists, scammers, etc. The syndrome is represented by the stone key. The stone key can represent anything that is unhealthy. Right now the stone key represents the emotional syndrome.. When you have the Emotional Red Syndrome, you begin to attract paranoia and Delusions and mostly open the gate to manipulation, abuse and brainwashing. Since this lock is only opened by such a key. If you have this key it will automatically open the lock of dysfunctionality and attract bad people, bad conditions, bad juju, bad events in life. Therefore throw away this Key once you recognize it in your life.. This is how I arrived at the lock and key concept. You will have many such keys appearing in your life that you will need to identify and discard. Discard all stone keys. Invite diamond and gold keys. Any key that solves a problem in your life, keep it. It's a gold key. Any key that brings hope, happiness and Positivity and more growth in your life in general, then keep it. Keep all the good keys. Throw away all the bad keys..

How did i arrive to the concept of the key? I'll explain in the remainder posts.

(drawing quadrants in sand) Book of situations Book of Keys. °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° Certain keys are good for life. They invite better conditions. They make things better. These are diamond keys Certain keys are bad for life. They invite bad conditions. They make things worse. These are stone keys. Certain keys help you to solve a specific problem or situation. I'll call it the solution keys or Golden keys or gold keys. If a key is attracting bad conditions in your life, the stone key, Just throw away that key.

I have decided to use keys as an effective way to analyze myself and my life. For this purpose I will divide keys into 3 categories.. The diamond key. Or the hope key. The Gold key or Golden key or the solution key. The stone key.

Do not use emotional thinking because it disrupts life. Logical thinking Objective thinking Belief in God. Life is one big situation you are trying to resolve and humanity is mostly stupid. Don't live in idealistic fantasy land.

That's very good advice. It opened a new perspective.

I lost my job two months ago because of the pandemic and I have been depressed because of it. It has caused me to lose my self esteem. Also I haven't been keeping well since. Constantly having some or other health problem. I have been doing pretty shitty because of all this. My financial situation is not that bad right now. If I return back to normal health, I plan on working again. Till then I need a health break. Plus because of this pandemic I just don't want to take the risk of looking for a job right now. Sometimes I feel like ending my life because what's the point? Everyday is just a struggle. 2022 looks difficult to me. I don't even know what to do. I feel hopeless.