Preety_India

What are the ways in which I can motivate myself?

Incidents of violence happen in every country in one form or another. So what about all the racist hate attacks on immigrants all over the world. Why should India be any different. I'm not condoning violence just stating that violence is an expected outcome when people of different cultures or religions live in one place. The extent of violence actually determines how peaceful the place is. Violence in India is at much lower level as compared to the violence all around the globe. Nobody is running here in fear for their lives. More people in India die from train injuries,electrocution, accidents, medical negligence, poverty, malnutrition, suicides, unemployment, disease, lack of sanitation and other issues than religious violence. The issue is not so bad that everyone in our country has to sit and worry about it. There are more pressing issues than that. If someone is feeling so threatened then maybe they should just leave the country, but they won't because the problem is just not as big as the media is trying to blow it up out of proportion. There are plenty of people living around me who would give me a perplexed look if I even suggested something like persecution because it's simply not a daily occurrence. Yes it is one of the many problems that India has, but more people die due to other reasons. It would be highly illogical and impractical to imagine different religious groups existing together without any violence at all, look at how riots break out every month in the US over racial issues, but there it's much more severe, it's not as severe here. Otherwise people would have been fleeing. That's not the case because things are quite peaceful. If you want perfect peace, that's an unrealistic expectation. Some people dying in riots between a group of violent thugs doesn't mean that violence is the norm. I'm living here and I don't witness anything, maybe rarely. But that happens everywhere across the planet. Why should India be an exception. Wherever humans are acting intolerant and differences exist, there you'll see violence. This is not a national issue, this is a human issue. Human beings will always engage in violence if they get territorial for survival. At the end of the day it's more about survival than anything else. Two opposing groups are trying to fight for survival in the same land, then how do you expect peace. This is human nature. When survival is up in arms, everyone resorts to violence. Peace depends on the extent of it. So far it's not so severe that everyone has to sit and worry about it. If it gets severe then something will need to be done. On an average there is always some hate crime in every country where many people lose lives. But this is the norm. You can't stop hate. Gun violence happens every other week in America. At least it's not that severe in my country. If someone is expecting perfect peace then they should go live on an island away from all races and religions. You can't expect perfect peace when different people live under one roof. That's too tough to have. I am just stating what is obvious and what is logical in such scenarios. It's logical to expect some violence when you have different groups coexisting. Only if the violence is extreme that certain measures need to be taken, something along the lines of segregation. Even then separation is the only solution. There is no solution to fights other than separation. What happens when family members fight too much. They have to eventually separate. Where you have different groups of people there you will have power struggle and wherever there is power struggle there you will find tension and fights and violence. This does not mean that any party is good or bad. It's just that they simply can't coexist due to lack of tolerance on each side and vested interests and fight for domination and survival.. India is still relatively peaceful. Survival is brutal enough already among people of the same group, now if you add people of a different group to the mix, it's bound to create frustration and chaos and resulting violence. We as human beings haven't reached a level of such high consciousness where we can be perfectly tolerant of each other that's why all the racial tensions. People don't even tolerate each other on a forum let alone real life. Real life is harsh and everyone wants to survive. It's all about harsh reality and less about dogma.

I'm going to use the Seed => plant => fruit model. Put the motivating seed to get the result.

This is helpful https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76960-simple-trick-to-improve-productivity-and-focus/ Work standing up! Give it a shot. For years I worked sitting down and was always tired, but I find when I work standing up I'm able to focus and be productive, so much that my thoughts even flow smoother. This may be a great strategy for kinesthetic learners. Stand up, get the blood flowing! .. Yup I did this same technique today. I stood up and did my work and I saw that I felt a bit more motivated than usual Another technique I use is to talk to myself. I know it sounds absurd.. But whenever I talk to myself I feel more energetic and connected and in a flow. Like I'm getting stuff done without losing focus So Yea try talking to yourself.

Yup I did this same technique today. I stood up and did my work and I saw that I felt a bit more motivated than usual Another technique I use is to talk to myself. I know it sounds absurd.. But whenever I talk to myself I feel more energetic and connected and in a flow. Like I'm getting stuff done without losing focus So Yea try talking to yourself.

@Gregory1 welcome.

This was a good insight. I doubt you'll find your answer like this on a forum. Each situation is unique, and each moment is different. All one can do I would say is to cultivate the wisdom and awareness much higher so that when the next situation comes you will know what to do from within spontanuously out that state of higher intelligence that knows what is the appropriate thing to do without thinking. That would be my 2cents.

@Tim R try bonding with him by talking everyday.

Babygirl lift your finger.

The answer I gave to the above query. I see a ton of similarities between my behavior in general and your brother's behavior. And I somewhat gave you similar reactions as your brother did. He is showing some rebellious signs that i used to show. This could be due to many factors. Does he generally feel lethargic? Does he have hidden medical issues that he doesn't open up about? For me it was that. I always felt like anyone who is trying to help me is trying to lecture me. This can be many reasons I was the smaller one in the family. I always felt unheard and unloved and ignored by my family. Yet my elder sibling was being considered awesome and valued. This is because of narcissistic parent dynamic and the golden child syndrome that narcissist parents cause. Are you the elder sibling (that's what I'm getting from your post)? Are you getting special treatment in your family because you know more or do more? If the answer to the question is yes then this could be a huge reason why he acts like that. Defensive behavior is often a sign of hidden trauma. Feeling neglected. Feeling ignored. Feeling unloved. Feeling abused. Feeling let down or abandoned. If it's not trauma, then it's simply his nature. He could be a bit arrogant. Or simply temperamental and moody. He could be showing early signs of bipolar disorder. They act a bit arrogant, angry, fidgety.. Or he could have had a bad breakup with a girlfriend. Maybe he suffered childhood bullying from other kids that's manifesting years later in adulthood. You will need to come up with a whole list of causes, conditions and symptoms of his behavior in great depth in order to know where things are exactly going wrong. The best suggestion is to directly speak to him, a heart to heart talk and tell him to open up as much as possible so he can dig deeper into his wounds, psyche etc. I know this is hard given his behavior to shirk everyone, but you have to be persistently empathetic around such people to win their confidence. It's like dealing with a wild street cat. If you get angry they get angry. You have to be calm and patient and not appear tyrannical, dictatorial, superior, pushy, dominating, "intellectually intimidating", "anxiety provoking," "inhibiting or controlling", lectury or "I know it better than you" attitude. It pisses off such people because they have a strong sense of ego. They are not egotistical per say, it's just that being constantly outwitted or disappointed in life can create an over sensitive defensive ego. On the flip side he could be showing narcissist traits. Such people act defensive as well. You can't tell them anything they don't want to hear. In any case. Give him space and give him time. People like that crave freedom a lot Depending on my interactions with you I found you a bit lectury and "I know better" type. This can actually appear invasive to a person who wants to be empathized with, understood and reassured rather than being pointed to or judged. Drop some of your own behavior that could be triggering him and make his situation worse than better.. Give him a comfort zone. Bond and build trust rather than blame or make him feel "wrong" or "odd". Such behaviors are often noticed in individuals who come from families who have judgemental parents or a judgmental older brother/sister who fails to bond properly but always comes around to judge

Totally agree.

Hello everyone, I need some advice. My younger brother (21) seems to have become a very unhappy and easily irritable person who does not want to acknowledge that there are problems (in his life or (as a result) in the lives of others, i.e. my family), take advice, or even desire to change anything. He seems very tense and frustrated. As soon as you approach him about even the tiniest problem he becomes extremely defensive. In fact, when you approach him for anything else, even if you want to do something good for him, too. He immediately reacts passiv-aggresively and defensively (hope you know what I mean). This has been going on for years, since he was a teenager, and it has become worse and worse over the years. We have no idea what to do with him anymore and my parents (he lives with them) have basically given up on changing anything, and it really hurts and frustrates them to see him like this. Me too to be honest, but I find myself at my wits end and unable to help him anymore, especially since he doesn't seem to really want or accept any help. I am very worried about him and I fear that he is already depressed (he sleeps a lot and doesn't seem to find much joy in anything except playing the guitar) or that he could suppress his emotions even more deeply and violently. He has a job as a shop assistant (or whatever the english term is for selling stuff in a small store) which he hates because he thinks all the people who come there are stupid and their questions are unnecessary. When he comes home he's always so miserable and irritated... He's studying in his last semester, he says he likes the subject but hates the university (and in turn, his studies, not thematically, but structurally). It seems almost impossible to get through to him, except sometimes when very careful and in his better moments. It is frustrating to watch helplessly how it keeps getting worse and worse every time when I visit my family. Since I haven't lived with them for many years, I feel even more helpless and it breaks my heart to see him feel like he is being denied love and his denying love to my parents in turn. I don't want to come across as some sort of know-it-all who lectures him (although I'm afraid that he perceives anyone ho wants to help him as that) and wags his finger at him, I want to let him know that life can be good and that people love him, more than he knows. Help?

I see a ton of similarities between my behavior in general and your brother's behavior. And I somewhat gave you similar reactions as your brother did. He is showing some rebellious signs that i used to show. This could be due to many factors. Does he generally feel lethargic? Does he have hidden medical issues that he doesn't open up about? For me it was that. I always felt like anyone who is trying to help me is trying to lecture me. This can be many reasons I was the smaller one in the family. I always felt unheard and unloved and ignored by my family. Yet my elder sibling was being considered awesome and valued. This is because of narcissistic parent dynamic and the golden child syndrome that narcissist parents cause. Are you the elder sibling (that's what I'm getting from your post)? Are you getting special treatment in your family because you know more or do more? If the answer to the question is yes then this could be a huge reason why he acts like that. Defensive behavior is often a sign of hidden trauma. Feeling neglected. Feeling ignored. Feeling unloved. Feeling abused. Feeling let down or abandoned. If it's not trauma, then it's simply his nature. He could be a bit arrogant. Or simply temperamental and moody. He could be showing early signs of bipolar disorder. They act a bit arrogant, angry, fidgety.. Or he could have had a bad breakup with a girlfriend. Maybe he suffered childhood bullying from other kids that's manifesting years later in adulthood. You will need to come up with a whole list of causes, conditions and symptoms of his behavior in great depth in order to know where things are exactly going wrong. The best suggestion is to directly speak to him, a heart to heart talk and tell him to open up as much as possible so he can dig deeper into his wounds, psyche etc. I know this is hard given his behavior to shirk everyone, but you have to be persistently empathetic around such people to win their confidence. It's like dealing with a wild street cat. If you get angry they get angry. You have to be calm and patient and not appear tyrannical, dictatorial, superior, pushy, dominating, "intellectually intimidating", "anxiety provoking," "inhibiting or controlling", lectury or "I know it better than you" attitude. It pisses off such people because they have a strong sense of ego. They are not egotistical per say, it's just that being constantly outwitted or disappointed in life can create an over sensitive defensive ego. On the flip side he could be showing narcissist traits. Such people act defensive as well. You can't tell them anything they don't want to hear. In any case. Give him space and give him time. People like that crave freedom a lot Depending on my interactions with you I found you a bit lectury and "I know better" type. This can actually appear invasive to a person who wants to be empathized with, understood and reassured rather than being pointed to or judged. Drop some of your own behavior that could be triggering him and make his situation worse than better.. Give him a comfort zone. Bond and build trust rather than blame or make him feel "wrong" or "odd". Such behaviors are often noticed in individuals who come from families who have judgemental parents or a judgmental older brother/sister who fails to bond properly but always comes around to judge Goodluck

Cheerio Y'all to myself /Hello Preety babygirl.

At least you aren't wasting your time in non aligning things.

Work hard baby. Work hard. Work harder. C'mon motivate that lazy ass.

Nature of Emotions Track and management of time Nature of actions Measure the nature of outcome Seek alignment

I want to feel calm. I want to feel nothingness.

Keep a record of important statements to repeat everyday.

Update January 21, 2022. 3.30pm. I want to feel calm. I want to feel nothingness. I want to visualize death.

@Gianna thank you so much.

Update January 21, 2022. 2.30pm. I just woke up from a nightmare and in the dream I could see buildings burning. People were running like crazy. It felt like the End times. I want to do death visualizations now. Quote Important statements Emotions part 1 Emotions part 2 Emotions part 3 Emotions part 4

Update 3,January 21, 2022 I want to do death visualizations.. Sometimes I just want to imagine dying. Not real death though. Death like entering a different realm, something different from life. I want to imagine myself at the beach. I'm holding on to a tree. It's evening almost. And my body is slowly releasing the chemicals the body produces before death. And then my body is laid on the floor. And my breath slowly leaves me. I enter a trance like state. Here I can see my life in a snapshot. Flashbacks and memories. Fear, anger, hate have no place in this state. Everything is about "self peace" Quote Important statements Emotions part 1 Emotions part 2 Emotions part 3 Emotions part 4

Today is January 21 and a brand new day. Today I should be careful and not waste any time.. Plan the day carefully although I woke up late as usual. January 21 2022. Today I'll groom a bit, do some meditation, do some steaming and sit in the garden, maybe try some yoga for the first time. Drink a tiny amount of tea. Because I can't take too much Do my witchcraft practice Quote Important statements

Update 2, January 21, 2022 10.25 am Every time I told my mother that I needed medical help she would deny it. It makes me miserable. Sometimes I wish so deeply I had never been born in this family. Dealing with a narcissist is extremely hard. They make rules and when you protest against those rules, they punish you. In my case, my mother often used violence to punish me. I remember last July, that is July 2021 when during a protest against her controlling behavior, she grabbed my head and smashed it into the wall.. I was bleeding and it traumatized me very badly. That night and several subsequent nights, I didn't sleep at all. I felt terrorized.. I lost sleep and developed insomnia as a result. You still have to please the narcissist or else they go berserk. That's why yesterday I purchased a few perfume bottles to keep her happy. Just to be in her good graces. You always have to tiptoe around a narcissist. You always have to walk on eggshells around them. It's a hard existence because if you don't, they will make your life almost unbearable. As a result of all the stress my mother caused me, I have developed some complications and I have been placed on this medication for the rest of my life. I sometimes cry thinking about the enormous amount of torture and abuse I suffered over the years. Something tells me that I won't live for long. It upsets and saddens me because I wanted to live long. But now it seems probable that I won't live for long. All the stress that my mother gave me has culminated into many of the health issues I suffer now. What I really feel very bad about is that I had pledged myself and promised myself that I would never die the way my father died succumbing to my mother's abuse. I had vowed myself that the same won't happen to me. Unfortunately the outlook on that promise that I made in my teens hasn't been well. I really degraded since my teenage years. Her narcissistic attitude, her violence and her constant manipulation, threatening and blackmail and all the resulting emotional and psychological stress started to impact me in really bad ways and I felt helpless often times, just stuck due to codependency and financial issues (since I gave a huge amount of my money to her, she always needs total control one way or another), there was simply no way out. It was as though I was staring into a deep dark hole, with no hope of ever getting out. My financial situation did improve for a while especially during 2019 when I lived away from her for a short period of time. Yet the pandemic happened in 2020 and my landlord told me to vacate the rented apartment I was living in. Then I had to move in back with my mother and the whole cycle of abuse and mayhem began again. She can be quite unstoppable, angry and ruthless. Almost unbearable. Quote Important statements Emotions part 1 Emotions part 2 Emotions part 3 Emotions part 4