Preety_India

Consider the situation that cheating is not something to be taken lightly. It is a serious thing, a serious problem. Dealing with toxic people is difficult anyway. If a person cannot understand the limits and boundaries of a relationship, how can this person be trusted at all? Furthermore why would you want such toxicity in your life? Forgiving looks like a noble act. But look at it rationally. Forgiving can sometimes become an open invitation to all sorts of toxic people to enter your life. Why would you want that? Remember that if you are dealing with a toxic person, it can almost destroy your entire life, you are fucked for the rest of your life dealing with that person, especially if you have married that person. Even a divorce won't actually set you free. Because there is shared parenting. I saw this with my ex boyfriend's ex wife. She divorced him within a year of marriage but she was already pregnant. Now she has to coparent her child with him. She cannot completely cut him out since he is the father and he has rights to be with his child. The problem is that he constantly gives her violent threats and sends her abusive text messages and phone calls. Also her child keeps begging to talk to the dad. So she is left with no option but to keep in touch with this abusive ex husband. Her one mistake (of marrying the wrong guy) is costing her an entire lifetime of regret and suffering. I only realized when I broke up with him, because I comfortably threw him out of my life by breaking up but she is stuck in this forever. I feel bad for her. You don't want your marriage to turn into a permanent nightmare Then learn to have firm boundaries early on in relationships. This is not about forgiveness, its about self responsibility. If a person does not respect your boundaries and cheats on you, they can also do other unethical things that you might not be aware of. They could be dangerous to their own children in the future. Since they don't know how to respect boundaries, they will not even respect their children's boundaries. Forgiving such people is enabling their behavior and almost giving their toxicity a gatepass into your life.

Once I threw a bucket of water at her face when she was attacking me. But it didn't stop her from attacking. What she needs is a very strong person like a male. Who will take the bat out of her hand and beat her up with it to let her know who is stronger. She never attempts to attack a person who is physically stronger because she knows she will get beating in return. She attacks me because she knows that I can't attack her back or I'm not strong enough to give her a beating. She would have never dared to attack if she had a son who is physically strong. She cowers back in fear like a rat in front of strong people. One day a man slapped her in public because she was continuously barking at him but she did not attack him in return. She silently tolerated it. Yet she quickly comes to attack me any opportunity she gets. She has a bully mentality. She used to attack my father because he was physically weak due to his illness and he was unable to walk. And she used to constantly attack him.

Thank you. Those are really good suggestions. Yes she is bipolar she runs on extreme weird emotions like a manic episode and there is no way to reason with her, she has often told me that she will kill me during her anger outbursts and she justifies her behaviors whenever she is experiencing these manic emotions. I'm planning some escape strategies like staying away from home as much as possible, making some friends and bringing them home so she will be less likely to attack me in front of them. Also right now there is a curfew around my building because of Omicron so nobody is allowed to walk. Once that is lifted I'll talk to some of the neighborhood aunties that she is friends with and I will let them know about the situation so they can come home and sit with me and her and have a joint discussion over the problem and maybe they can tell her that it is not okay to be violent. If she is in a calm mood she tends to be a little more understanding. If she listens to their advice good for me, I can also go to their house whenever she acts violent and let them know what she did. If she continues the same behavior despite everyone suggesting her to stop, then I will go to the police again and keep waiting till police take action. I'm just afraid that her behavior might get worse if the police arrest her. Because at the most the police will keep her in custody for 1 day. But such people are difficult to deal with. It's like provoking a tiger. Once the tiger is provoked, you can't tell what is going to happen. So if the police comes and leaves, then she can become more dangerous and emotionally unstable. She might actually kill me for calling the police. Her emotions are very out of control and she actually believes those emotions without any logic or reasoning.

I don't forgive cheaters. My own personal principle. I don't cheat. Why will I lower my standards when I operate on high standards myself. Also your phrasing is very weird. You say - "especially if you really like this girl." What does that even mean? You're in relationship obviously because you really like that person, why else would you be? Are you in a relationship where you don't like that person but you pretend to? (then it's not much worse than cheating because you aren't actually loving and that is also a kind of cheating, albeit a different kind, since that person has been kept in the dark about the fact that you don't like them enough, meanwhile they're building castles in the air around you.) why would you even stay in a relationship when you don't like that person enough (just to have a girlfriend around till you get a better girlfriend) this is generally the mentality of men who treat women like disposables, they immediately abandon their current girlfriend once they are able to have another hot girl like at the drop of a dime. A guy who genuinely loves a woman or who has genuinely fallen in love will never phrase it as - "especially if you really like this girl" because he knows he obviously likes her, that goes without question, nobody even questions that unless you are always having second thoughts about your choice in which case you don't deserve the relationship and that girl probably deserves to be treated better, not to be treated as an option but to be treated as a priority, shouldn't she be with a man who treats her like a priority? Something is truly off with that wording. And if that's how you think where you can easily replace a woman because you found another hot woman, then I guess you deserve to be cheated on because it didn't matter anyway, you were going to do things that are equally hurtful to the girl.. Generally guys who forgive girls for cheating are cheaters themselves. It's a form of projection. It's like a thief having sympathy for another thief. It takes one to know one. Coming back to the situation of cheating, the gender is irrelevant. I'm a girl and I won't forgive a guy who cheats on me. No chance. If i were a guy, I would not forgive a girl who cheats. Gender is irrelevant.

@catcat69123 would it be okay if I carry a pepper spray.

My ex boyfriend was like that. He used to be an extrovert. I mean most guys I dated were extroverts (*cries). He used to talk to a lot of women. I was as usual very naive and didn't suspect anything. He even used to flirt with them. Sometimes I used to feel uncomfortable but I never said anything. I just never believed that he would cheat because I trusted him so much that the thought that he would cheat on me never crossed my mind. Then one day I discovered his cheating and I was done for good. Hindsight is 20/20, I learned from my mistakes and realized that these behaviors of excessively seeking company of the opposite sex are early signs of cheating. (which means at some point that person is going to cheat with someone). They are simply prepping you so that you never suspect them by making you get used to it The best way to deal with this is — talk directly. Tell them your fears. If they continue to indulge in that behavior, not only are they breaking your boundaries (which is reason enough to break a relationship, as they don't give a damn), but they are also blatantly disrespecting your requests and don't care about how it makes you feel, plus it means they want it make it known that they will do what they want despite the warnings/requests which is an extremely high probability that they are going to cheat (cheaters are generally shameless and don't budge and don't listen) so it's a sign anyway that they will do what they want, even knowing that it hurts you. Then it's high time you decide whether you want such a relationship or you want something pleasant and that which keeps you happy. Don't compromise on your happiness for any dude, it's not worth it. Dudes who would want you are dime a dozen. Find those who won't make you feel uncomfortable. Lots of dudes on the market frankly.

@flowboy hello

By the way, didn't I get natural immunity now? Isn't that how vaccines supposed to work. I think now a vaccine would be redundant anyway? I'm not sure.

Also consider that I have low immunity and low body stamina. And I'm still doing alright. If it happens to a normal healthy and strong person with strong immunity, this will be nothing for them. I have been suffering since 3 days now. 2 days were severe body pain and weakness. A little unbearable but wouldn't need hospitalization. Just rest and juices and warm water. Also if the body heats up(due to antibodies) then keep drinking Vit C juice and apply ice pack on the back (because the back gets heated up as a result of antibody production) and you will need to bring down the body temperature <that's the part that is unbearable > I will need another 3 days and I think I will recover completely. This is my fourth day. So 4 +3 = 7 days. You will need 7 days total to recover that is 1 whole week. Not that bad.

She is way stronger. When she holds me down, I can't get her off me. Nobody believes me because they think she is an old woman.

I don't think I can afford something like that and the funny part is she will never allow it. If I tried to record her with the phone she will throw the phone out of my hand

Not really. This is not that bad. To be frank, the common flu I suffered two weeks ago before this was way worse.. This is bad only for first 2 days. After that it's normal. This is in fact when I am still recovering from that flu. If I was the healthiest version of myself (which I was at some point in my life before all the medical issues began), and I had got Omicron then I would be dancing all around because it's nothing for a healthy person, just fever, pain etc. That's something I always suffered in childhood anyway. This is such a small thing in comparison to infections I have suffered and recovered. I have suffered from some of the most deadliest infections and still managed to recover and if you read my medical history, you will be like "what the fuck, how did you survive all this?" I was born like a miracle baby. Doctors said I won't survive but I survived an awful lot. I was born only 5 pounds and a month early. I still have medical conditions but I have the will power of a mountain. I will survive.

My neighbors gave the same advice. But this is very hard to do. When she attacked me today, I had no way to know that she was going to do that. It was so sudden. There was absolutely no time to film it and I'm always in the process of protecting myself and screaming and running away, there is simply no time to film. It always happens unexpectedly.

It's not like part of the house. It's just a joint investment. So every part belongs to both of us.

I have talked to the police before. But they could not believe that a woman could be violent. Back in July last year my arm was swollen and bleeding and when I showed it to the police, they said it could have been self inflicted. Also they said - "she is too old to attack you." and they refused to file a complaint. Self defense class in what sense? The last time(last year) she attacked me she did with a bat. I had absolutely no chance to respond because it was so quick and my body could not have been strong enough to fight off the attack. I mean how can someone defend oneself against a weapon?

Yup had 2 hot showers today. It's helping. Thanks for the advice. Will stock up on fruits.

Just telling myself —"it will be okay. Don't worry. Keep strong." Will post updates when I recover. @Marcel thank you. I love you.

One thing I noticed that gargling throat with hot water reduces throat pain. And drinking hot water reduces body ache. Little things you can try to keep symptoms in check. Take paracetamol. And lay in bed. Nothing else to do Also eating food in little portions throughout the day helps you beat the malaise and weakness.

So I tested positive for Omicron. Hmm. Now what to do. Fever and body ache. This was worse than I thought.

The feeling, the vibe, the emotion.

@Marcel *throws Blumen at you.

They are blueeeeeee. (and they always were.. Blueee)

How much does it cost to eat chicken with you (since you don't eat lobster )?

@Marcel I love you.

Just avoid them. Be around people that you already know or have a good social reputation.