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Everything posted by Preety_India

  1. Anyway, coming back to my strategies of dealing with my abusive mother And this won't be easy. But I want to be the winner in the end. So yes... I have been thinking about this for the past one hour and I have realized that: I need to be stronger I need to fight back harder I need to be protective of myself I need to be defensive and resistant I need to push back harder I need to stop taking offense and give some rest to my restless stressed out mind Three powerful strategies to deal with 1 Hold the other person (in this case my mother) totally accountable for her abuse and bad behavior especially when you know that you are right and that person is totally wrong in their behavior to you 2. Nobody has the right to judge you and treat you bad for the defects, inefficiency or lack or the flaws in your behavior and personality. Nobody has the right to decide if you are fit to be born or not or whether you should deserve something or not. 3. learn to stand up for yourself when the bully aka abuser attacks Standing up for yourself means that you do not agree with what the person says. And that you are by your own side and would not let go and learn different ways or strategies to survive through it and fight for yourself through it and not break down... Which means you love yourself and you will support yourself all the way through it 4. Learn to block..... Block out that abuser and their words of your mind. Do not pay mind. Do not give attention. When you give attention you give power. Block people who are annoying immediately. 5. If the abuser puts 10 percent effort in trying to put you down then laughing at them is the best remedy of weakening them and their resolve. Make them try harder to do the same next time . Make them put 80 percent effort next time to inflict the same level of pain or cause the same level of discomfort or rattling in you. Frustrate them 6. If the abuser puts 10 percent effort in trying to put you down then put 40% effort in comforting and encouraging yourself and denying their efforts and their mocking their motive and encouraging and loving yourself in return and uplifting your self confidence and self esteem. The more they do the more you do. You do the opposite of what they are trying to do to you. 7. That which does not have deserves more.... If you have flaws then you deserve the struggle to perfection rather than being let down. If you are weak you should be encouraged and you deserve and you are entitled to all the praise and affection and you deserve to have or achieve the perfection you lacked. Rather than being told that you don't deserve because you are not so and so, you should be uplifted so that you can be compensated for the lack and you should be helped to achieve that which you equally deserve to have as others do. You deserve even more attention affection love and growth because you were weak or not having what others were given. This is not your fault that you were not given so you deserve more. 8. Let them not have an impact on you. Minimize their impact. Check yourself. See how much they are impacting you and how much they are succeeding. They succeed when you let them have a full impact on you. Try harder to not let it affect you negatively and let it not impact your function as a individual and let it not impact your sense of peace in life or your core happiness. Do more to minimize this impact and block it as much as you can so you achieve zero impact 9. You are not a victim but a survivor, a warrior and a fighter. 10. Practice stress relief and release strategies so you are well prepared in advance for the attack and you feel calmer during the attack and are able to handle it better 11. Be stronger every day. Remember it's not a healthy person who needs a doctor but a sick person needs medicine and doctor. You need strength and upliftment more than anyone because you are fighting against an abuser who is draining you and weakening you. Your daily efforts in making yourself gradually stronger will make it tougher for the abuser to bring you down. Make the abuser work harder.. Other techniques SILENCE be silent, don't talk or respond at all ESCAPE escape that environment.. Weigh the pros and cons RECOGNITION Recognize the signs and red flags of abusive behavior and be a pro at identifying an attack from an abuser when it's coming on so you can pack on your defensive strategies and be ready Premptive - use logic beforehand to know if a possible situation can create an opportunity for attack. Take precautions before the abuse can happen.. Build up your emotional support. Legal action Work hard get peace Collect evidence of abuse Realizing that you don't have to be dependent on the abuser. .. ... .
  2. Lol..................... Buddhism??
  3. Factors that encourage and sustain a healthy psychology Stable family Love Emotional Support Supportive Religion Happiness Good health Good finances Healthy Genes Avoidance of toxic habits Healthy Religion and Culture Discipline and Foundation Adequate mental stimulation and not excessive Healthy distraction or healthy engagement or positive engagement Absence of mental illness or good mental health Healthy friends Grounding in childhood Healthy long lasting Relationships Healthy thoughts.
  4. Such suffering also causes people to experience less empathy towards others and become more stone hearted or cold hearted and psychopathic in nature and sometimes jealous and sadistic. Thus increases the probability of causing both intentional and unintentional harm to others out of sadism and jealousy. Such suffering also increases tendencies of greed, opportunistic, parasitic, alpha competitive behavior. Both behaviors cause disruption and breakdown of Harmony and become lethal and destructive with time.
  5. Healthy and Unhealthy Psychology People are more likely to commit crime and hurt others or engage in bad behavior or evil if they have an unhealthy psychology or a damaged psychology. Damage to normal psychology or healthy psychology is caused by the following factors : Growing up around violence Porn Growing up in a violent family Dysfunctional family Genetics. Parents who are criminals and crime existing in the bloodline. Poverty "poverty has made you to lose your humanity" Misery and long term suffering Toxicity caused by taking up unhealthy habits like drugs, weird self destructive behaviors, smoking, alcoholism, porn, promiscuous sex, unhealthy communication and language, aggression, listening to violent high pitch or loud emotional songs or music, unhealthy chemical laden food, artificial chemicals, excessive use of chemicals in food, water, cosmetic, makeup, artificial living settings like living in AC or conditioned environment, extreme emotional stress, dysfunctional family, divorce, lack of discipline or firm foundation in life, waywardness, hyper stimulation of senses through constant exposure to lights, sound, multi tasking involving activities needing extensive attention, constant mental stimulation, bad lifestyle habits, unhealthy diets etc.... Mental illness.. Aggravated by family situation and toxic lifestyle habits and exposure to bad media like porn or graphic violence in shows and video games, Health problems Lack of emotional support Abandonment Bad friends and bad company Bad Religion or Toxic Religion Bad culture or Toxic culture Environmental pollutants in air or water that has caused mental /physical damage Carcinogenic components and elements capable of causing DNA level changes. Abuse mental physical Lack of cultivation of morals and sobriety Suffering does sometimes make a person more empathetic toward the suffering of others but only under specific circumstances or situations. Also the likelihood of using one's suffering to understand and heal others is still rare. The situation under which a person is more sensitized and inspired to become more empathetic is only when either the sufferer already displays great strength of character and kindness and when the suffering has been short term enough to sensitize a person to the fragility of life and enough to give an opportunity of self reflection and humility thus creating empathy or understanding in the person. Long term suffering causes more harm than good and long term suffering on a massive scale through a community might actually breed sadism and hate for the non sufferers and makes people more miserable and wanting others to be pulled into the same misery. Such people are more likely to commit crime and be hostile to each other. Short term obstacles in life makes a person stronger, determined and tough skinned but long term suffering might actually do the opposite and drain a person's energy making him feel helpless, whinier, miserable, irritable, sad, jealous, insecure, deficient, competitive, opportunistic, greedy, selfish and vicious. Pure Alpha. It's like "misery loves company."
  6. Umbrella list Cursory list Department list Atomic list Emergency list To Goal system Clicker points Self focus time Resource based strategy Timeline short updates method to improve self focus and tracking waste of time.
  7. The downside of viewing life as a challenge can be that you might take it for granted that problems exist and only focus on coping not realizing that you are perpetuating the cycle. Instead you could ask why the problem exists in the first place and it's presence is disturbing enough and that some preventive action should be taken for it to not exist. Example : rape. It's like the problem itself is the problem and is a symptom of a greater issue that needs overall and deeper resolution. Of the preventive kind. Because trying to solve and struggle with the problem might actually exacerbate the problem itself or encourage its existence. But other problems exist because of the nature of being human and such problems cannot be prevented or removed from the root and therefore need to be faced with acceptance and courage and dealt with sportsmanship.
  8. It's been a long time since I have been out of touch but not too long. The journey has been eventful with lots of things that happened in between. But anyway I'm kinda tired of it all. Decided to give up on him and move on finally. I was talking about the resource based strategy. So resources based strategy means understanding and recognizing the resources whose absence is giving rise to problems and then viewing life as a challenge to be overcome and triumphed over rather than a quagmire of hopelessness and self pity. Focus on the lack of resources that have caused the problem to arise and how to fix this lack. By replenishing it and substituting the necessary resources back into life. Example :health problems caused by stress and lack of happiness. Solution : to encourage healthy habits that promote more peace and happiness. Example 2 : inability to use technology Solution : enrolling into a class to understand and use technology better Example 3 : Wasting time and money Solutions : Gathering information on ways to handle time better and cultivating the maturity to save money and getting creative ideas about saving money. In each case a resource is lacking whether it's a healthy habit, a lifestyle format, time, money, knowledge or information, ability and skill, good health, happiness etc. When substituted with the relevant resources like - exercising for health - healthy habits to reduce stress - information on use of technology - skills to learn computers or driving - change of lifestyle to something suitable - better understanding of time management - knowledge of tactics to save money When the above resources were substituted the problems were eventually solved or at least partially reduced in severity. So Resource based strategy is understanding the kind of resources whose absence have caused the problems and then using or gathering or cultivating the resources to solve those problems.
  9. Manhood Graceful strength or love yourself the way you would love your kid Spirituality Are you loving yourself right now? Am I using my manhood right now? This moment can be changed into something good or bad depending solely on your will power.. Extreme will power and strength Care for yourself the way you would care for your kid Practice self love and move on with life without regret guilt burden or self pity. Don't care what people think Tremendous amount of will power This world is an illusion. You're an illusion too. ?????? ?????? ??? ?manhood - the ability to make things happen. ?spirituality ?self love ?Graceful strength - expressing your manhood in a feminine way/Graceful way. Let's work on this. ?will power in this moment - you can change this moment ? you are an illusion. The world is an illusion. ?are you loving yourself enough right now? Is this a way of loving myself. Do not compare yourself to others. ?if it's not beneficial to your life, do not think about it. ?when someone doesn't love you, move on with your inner grace. ? ? ? ? ? ?
  10. Mastodon better than Gab.
  11. There is so much more to everything than that... It's a basic primal instinct like all other. But nothing extra ordinary. The basic life purpose is obviously survival and existence . Beyond that the purpose would be to create a purpose or meaning but fundamentally the soul seeks joy and peace all the time. That's why all the frustration and the dissonance as a result of the lack of true happiness and peace.
  12. One of the most important life skill is writing a diary and keeping a track.
  13. I just pray to God to bring the days back. I so sincerely believe in God that if I stopped believing then I might want to die because that's the only thing that keeps me going... The hope that things would be better... I hope one day I can be free. I think in the end this life is just ruthless and pointless and stressful and has no inherent meaning or value. The only thing the soul will crave is Liberation from all suffering That's what I want too. I just want to feel like there is no tension or stress in life... Like it's a beautiful smooth breeze... Wish we never had to suffer injury, pain, stress, tension, sadness, anxiety, frustration,.... Wish there was only peace and infinite peace, joy and love and feeling of serenity. In our deepest thoughts, that's all we truly desire.... And we deserve it too I think every child who is born in this world deserves all happiness, joy and peace in life. Everyone deserves freedom from suffering.. Nobody deserves to suffer... We were born to be happy
  14. Today is Saturday night and I'm tired. I'm not sure where my life is taking me but I'm a bit depressed because I can't do the things I really wanted to. Life is a waste. A waste of time anyway. There's not much fruitful that comes out of a static joyless existence. Why are we so stressed out? Why is everything so complicated? Even simple joys are impossible? Why is health so unstable? Anything ruins it. The human mind and body is so sensitive. I wish I could get a new body and I would start life all over again. Not that I was too happy 7 years ago in a foreign land.. It was pleasant back then but it seemed like a blur. It's so unusual though. When we are enjoying simple everyday pleasures, we are not aware of how beautiful they are and we take them for granted. And when we suffer and are unable to enjoy, we realize how much we crave them and how much we miss but when we are enjoying them it's like a blur.. It doesn't even register that those moments are so beautiful. I wish I could go back at least 5 years and change things and make them better.. It wouldn't be like now. Those were the days,, carefree, traveling wherever I wanted, ate whatever I wanted and lived however I wanted. Now my health is bad so I have to be careful about every little thing or I end up suffering. It's just not the same anymore. It wasn't very beautiful but I wish I had known then how much of all this really matters. I was too innocent and naive and clueless about everything in life. It's sad now, not the way it was.
  15. Today is Saturday 31st March 2018. A new chapter in my life needs to start from tomorrow. I'm glad it's over. I didn't deserve this. But anyway.
  16. Enough is enough. I'm leaving the ungrateful asshole. I did my part. Fuck it. Fuck life. I have taken enough crap. Time to move on.
  17. Make a bunch of friends online and discuss with them on messengers or private chats or hangouts or video calls. Join political forums. Start a journal for self expression. There are just so many options in the virtual world. I understand your inquisitiveness and the need to let out. Do it in healthier ways. Dont do it on Facebook or other social media where freedom of speech is restricted. Can cause banning or loss of account.
  18. True intentions cannot be born or cultivated in money. Thats impossible. The whole idea doesn't work. Money cannot encourage someone to do better in this world. It's just a vehicle to get things done. But an intention,motivation or passion cannot originate in money. Thats impossible. A doctor who wants to save lives does so because he feels the inner desire or the intention to do it and not because he is being paid for it.if he is paid he will only do what he is being paid for and not beyond that. That restricts his tendency to help or do better because he starts calculating his effort in terms of monetary payout. So the whole money thing just doesn't cannot motivate people to do better. It also becomes very capitalistic in the end. It can only motivate them to do as much as is demanded and not beyond that plus they might even try to limit their effort(to save energy to make more money) or give bad service because they are focused only on money and as long as they get it they are not bothered about the kind of service offered . This is the reason why money can't always ensure either good service or good behaviour. Because you are just paying for it. And so the other person is only obliged to serve well but not passionately motivated to do so. In other words money can't buy intentions.
  19. Obviously focusing on life and existence does not mean there is no room for exploration and adventure and passion. Of course there should be. And nobody is restricted from following their enthusiasm and passion . There are people who.have given up their lives for it. But that could be considered a secondary goal and is obviously too far fetched and impossible to consider or achieve even when the primary goal of survival is not achieved. But by no means is the secondary goal undermined.
  20. True life lessons and life skills are never taught in school. What is taught is a bunch of crap. Life is all about struggle and winning that struggle because it's never going to be smooth and that has to be accepted. There are two very important life goals and those are 1 survival 2 a good existence or good living These two are extremely important and when we fail on any one of the two we really cannot ensure the success and betterment of most people. We cannot expect people to have a good life in the dumps. Plus like I said before that jobs that need middle level skills and basic average intelligence should be in abundance to not only feed the middle class but to also ensure the survival of people with medium or average intelligence because only they are capable of having normal births and normal overall abilities and survival skills across all spectrums. But far too often the average is taken for granted Being competitive is very important but not to put down others but to succeed, set a higher bar and be competent enough to succeed in life. That should ideally be the goal of competition. And it shouldn't be only the survival of the fittest but also survival of the maximum possible. That was the goal of our ancestors always. True life skills lie in - having high endurance. Willpower and strength to overcome adversities - having a foresight of the future. Being able to ascertain how the situation will turn out - having a vision and the big picture based thinking to see how the big picture should eventually benefit everyone and not just a few. The big picture should ensure abundant resources and a better existence for all and not just people living on a razors edge trying to just get by in life. That's a thinking based in deficiency. This is resource based thinking and open minded thinking and not closed minded rat race based thinking that is rooted on deficiency mindset. For the big picture thinking an abundant mindset is important. All that ancestors wanted was survival. Yet today we fight to work to make money in order to live. It's like dying to make money to live. Doesn't make sense and is paradoxical. To ensure the survival of a person so that they exist only to struggle to survive and have to keep struggling till they die. How is that an existence? How is that a success. It's like working towards success to eventually set up for failure We live to ensure survival. And to ensure the survival and existence of only those who are beautiful, capable, powerful and have lots of money is just so mean and not just mean but also cheap and also redundant and based in deficiency or deficit based thinking.. It's like saying the weaker does not have the right to live. These are existential questions from the point of view of evolution and they are really controversial. Meanwhile the goal should be to focus on survival and existence because everything is centered around it and its completely fine to do so because it's the most basic instinct and intention in life that needs to be honored.
  21. Start a diary
  22. Time line method gab Clicker points TL lists different types of lists To goal system Self focus time Resource based strategy
  23. Time to think something else
  24. I always lose my focus and fall astray because of evil people in my life. It's time to get things together and start working on them and be more cognizant and protective of what's happening before vultures swoop in.