Preety_India

Thank you for starting this. I've been trying to process traumatizing events for the past 24 hours now and it has been a bit hard for me. I hope I can add anything here as well.

This is an opportunity to understand the mechanics of attachment.

I experienced huge amounts of anxiety over the last 10 hours.

Disembodied voice of true love. (the Roman) (the Christian is the experiencer, the sufferer, the persecuted and the noble in his actions, the godly, the victorious. The Roman is the authority, the sane, the judge and the guide) Disembodied voice of true love. (the Roman speaks) - be with yourself - trust your body - be in the moment - do your best - be yourself, your true self

I don't even know where my life is leading me. A little bit of self expression helps.

It's sad that in this world only beautiful people are loved.. And only people who fulfill a future for you are deemed worthy of love. It's not hard to love someone. It's all about generosity. It's about the willingness and courage to love someone. Not holding back. Giving freely..

Let this pure true love guide you through everything. Think what true love would want for you. Do that. Imagine this love loving you. Receive it. Receive it like free food.. This true love is your guiding element. It is much easier to receive this through a person like an actual human or animal. Yet this is difficult because humans put such a high price tag on love.. They only give love on certain conditions. If those conditions aren't present, they don't love you. We love beautiful people. We love people who fulfill a certain role or agenda for us. We don't love someone for who they are. That's the rarest thing in the world. Such a love is only given by a mother to a child and this scenario is only possible if she is a good mother and not an abusive mother Thus this love is the rarest experience in this world. So fuck that.. You can still have love. By creating it yourself. Metaphorically it's like licking one's own wounds.

When you focus on the present moment you are liberated.. It takes away unnecessary stress and confusion. The present moment allows you to feel grounded. After all it's only the present moment that we can have a certain degree of control over. And the next thing to do is to simply put all attention and focus on pure true love. Try this as a visualization meditation practice

My journey to the greatest spiritual truth finally comes to an end. This is what I had been looking for for more than 4 long years. Now it finally comes to me as a spiritual insight. I was looking for love, that elusive thing I was looking for was and is true love.. Eckhart Tolle is right about one part. You have to focus on the present moment. He forgot the other part - true love. True love is the healing energy you are looking for. It's here right here. When you allow true love into your life, that's when true healing begins in the actual full sense.

True love is like rain. When it pours, it rains. It fills you up with abundance and energy and recharges you and takes the scarcity out of you. The word abundance is important. What you are truly lacking is abundance True love creates a state of abundance and then slowly heals and restores you from that place. It basically fills your cup. How to access true love? Through visualization and attraction. Set your Heartspace in such a way that you are open to receiving love even in an unpersonified form. Think from the perspective of true love. Think only two things. Only two things. One is being completely focused on the present moment and absolutely nothing else. Second is to imagine true love around you guiding you. What do you think it will say to you or what do you think it will guide you towards? There lies your answer. True love in the present moment is all you need to experience and to guide you through life We are constantly hunting for this love in pets, friends and lovers. The good news is that you don't need persons or animals to experience this love. Your mind itself has the ability to visualize this love through the power of your imagination and mental creativity. It's like mental art.

I want that Ethereal love. Just imagine what true love would look like. Absolute ecstacy. Let true love be your motivating nourishing force.. Right now through the corner of my eye I can see a lot of loving dead spirits walking around. They look like black gray shadowy figures. I can feel their energy. You don't need a Personification of love. Love itself is a personification because love means God. God can move mountains. Hmm. Correct that. Love can move mountains. Even in seeking God, we are seeking love. The problem is that utter lack of love has made us almost disabled and blocked or in a state of agitation. My mother doesn't love me. My father is dead. It's hard to feel loved in such circumstances

Victor Hugo has some beautiful quotes on love that I used to enjoy reading as a child. I remember these quotes from my childhood days. "Love is like a tree: it grows by itself, roots itself deeply in our being and continues to flourish over a heart in ruin." "Life is the flower for which love is the honey." "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

True love is eternal. I'm not talking about true love between two people but just standalone true love. The universe loves us. But we don't receive it because we block it so badly. True love exists all around us, not necessarily in people.

Such a man can probably only exist in fantasy. Because in reality men lose interest. That's why I fantasize my ideal man so badly. Our bond will be so beautiful. Sadly I'm not even in that state in life where I can give a lot to a man. A lot of these scoundrels depleted my feminine energy. I was much more feminine a few years ago before Joseph came into my life and demanded every bit of my life and soul and literally left me drained and parched. I lost my health in serving his Lord Highness. A woman should never be with an abusive guy. It's a huge loss. You end up meeting a good man but you're already drained by that point. I wish I could go back to pre-Joseph era of my life. I was such a happy soul until that leech, that horrible leech came and took it away from my innocent soul. I was such a sweet doting adorable naive girl. He turned me into a grumpy wounded chick. So awful. I wish I had never met him. He used to use me like room service. He constantly wanted everything from me but always treating me badly in return. He would never let me be happy even for a second. Always put me down. He would not even say that he loves me. Everything he did was fake. He would never appreciate anything I did for him. Fucking narcissist. Being around him was like walking on eggshells. He was never grateful. I even saved his life once. Paid his bill. Got him to a safe place. He always used to want other women but not me. I was just a doormat for him.. And this man would tell me to never leave him, that he would go blind if I ever left him. And in the end he cheated on me. What a crock of shit!!!!!!! Asking me to stay loyal while cheating on me behind my back. Got rid of his abusive ass. Now back to my fantasy man. He would love me, care for me. We would love each other and be for each other. We would be faithful till the end. Come what may. I think what I'm looking for is just love. But I'm putting a personification to it. Maybe I'm looking for true love to heal the broken Cinderella in me. Damsel in distress. This makes me come to another conclusion. That I should simply focus on love rather than on the personification of that love. That love exists still as free floating energy waiting to be absorbed by me. That love is true love. What I have always been seeking and looking all my life. It's the food of the spirit. Maybe my spirit is too hungry for this love. And this state of hunger causes distress. Mother Theresa used to call this hunger, spiritual hunger.

Me talking to myself - Maybe over the rainbow there's a man who loves me truly and wholly. Who won't be afraid to love me. Who won't love me simply for feeling better off of my love but truly love me too, not simply desire me. I think what I'm looking for is deep intimacy with a man, not just sexual but also mental and emotional. Maybe this is what I was looking for all my life. I wanted it because I never got it making me crave it like crazy. I want him to talk to me, make me open up, admire me, like me, want me, love me, make me feel wanted, belonged, accepted, and be my true loyal companion through thick and thin, eternally bonded to my heart, authentic with his emotions, not faking it and the one who would never not want me. Who would offer me his love and support generously and never break my trust. Who would think I'm the apple of his eye. Who would love me spiritually and I would love him spiritually. I think spiritual love is difficult to be found..

I don't know why I bother to open up to random people who never truly understand me and end up hurting me even more.

I don't see any problem with seeking love. It's a basic human need. To love someone with all the heart receive betrayal in return is obviously going to hurt. I wanted to be more feminine because a) it helps to connect to my core b) it helps me to be gentle with myself something that I lost in the process of being raised in a masculine environment. You're probably not able to understand the depth of my problem, indirectly calling me a vampire was like the worst thing, I don't know why people bother to help others just to rub salt in the wounds but anyways thanks for the gesture. If you can't understand the feeling of "unloved" you won't understand my wound. Self love is one thing but craving companionship is also a need, maybe you don't have that need but that's fine.

I've been hurt deeply by cheating men, abandoning men, abusive men, unloving men. I'm tired of wanting the love of a man only to be betrayed and mistreated later. I wish a man would love me for who I am and not for who he wants me to be. I wish a man would love me truly and understand me instead of using me for his purposes and then discard once he is bored. I am just fed up of being lead on, lead on, lead on, to believe that I'm receiving love and then being discarded like a puppy on the side of the road from a passing car. I'm broken from within. I desperately need a man's love in my life because I want it, a man's love makes me happy, I don't want to feel alone, I don't want fake men, players and assholes who toy with my feelings, maybe they don't do it on purpose but they do it subconsciously because they aren't sure of what they want or just act on impulse. I want loyalty and secure attachment in return for giving my heart to him. I want a man to love me deeply. To love me truly and not on a whim. I want it bad. I don't wish to be desired by men. I just want the love of one man forever till the end of my life. A beautiful romantic companionship. And only one man and the same man. I want to feel loved and wanted by a man. Like real emotions, real passion and craving for me and only me. Not treat me like a disposable

I have been traumatized by male behavior and by the men in my life. Deeply mistreated and traumatized It's hard.

Aligned with the most optimal and ideal Aligned with the most profound Aligned with the truth

I had an argument with him.

The last 8 hours were pure torture and absolute misery.

Sewing my concepts together. Self love Heartspace Loving Radiance Infinite love is the ultimate truth Embody infinite love Incorporate and integrate infinite love in your life Psychic intelligence Cultivate a garden in your mind and heart Your mind is the only thing that matters Poisons exist. Free will exists as well There is no evil. Only flawed people Positivity Organic lifestyle High consciousness High Conscientiousness Holistic Sciences RESPECT, ACCEPT, EMBRACE AND UNDERSTAND OTHER'S PERSPECTIVES On the last page I discussed these things solitude mode Dopamine addiction Pet ethics Masculine environment Absolute versus relative perspective, root versus crown Chakra One word - acceptance

Yesterday I was talking about loving radiance and how we need to be closer to it. Loving Radiance is what we need And then I talked about how evil and devil does not exist. But toxins and poisons do and what you choose is your free will. You either choose the optimal or the regular or the toxic. That's up to you. When you move away from loving radiance you eventually degrade. It's like if you forgot to clean your house, sooner or later it gets invaded by pests. Toxic elements begin to gather and impact a system once you fail to fortify it with loving radiance. This loving radiance is nothing but infinite love. That I talk about in the ultimate truth thread.

A lot of things are coming together I feel.