Preety_India

Two things that I want to focus on Is to focus on something objectively and rationally To have intense love and passion in life ...and support and positivity

Reminder - never ever be with a passive aggressive manchild again....

Today is rant mode.... Pouring it all out.. All the hate and pain... Not keeping anything in my stomach

This guy........ This guy is super hot

When your friend tells you what's on your mind

I'm so glad I met Andrew but I don't want to go so fast into it.. I feel stressed. But at the same time there is a strong temptation to go out with him and completely get over my previous relationship and have a fresh new wonderful start like the smell of fresh new curtains. I am happier than ever Just this vexation that my recent ex might try some other strategy to get back into my life. I have him blocked The last time I blocked him, he tried getting my number through a friend's of his and hunted me down and called me up in the middle of the night yelling at me..... This time if he did that, I will switch off the phone completely or change my number or tell him to fuck off.... It's tough. He is very persuasive. But I have made up my mind... No matter how much he cries. No matter how much he whines....no matter how much he blackmails and guilts me... I'm not going back to him. His usual style to spark off an argument and get intense and then get me emotional with some emotional stuff about his life and then proceed to get lovey dovey and then assure me that everything is cool.... This time I'm not going to fall into his manipulative pit. He is too skillful at psychological manipulation. He loves these mind games and playing around emotions.. But I'm getting better at judging his moves.. Initially it was difficult. He would get slow and steady and quickly manipulate his words into playing my mind to believe his lies, his boasting, his neediness. He has this domineering way of making things look perfectly right if he does them...like he is always right no matter what I confronted him once and called him a narcissist. And he flipped and said no way. He didn't want any labels.. He was like.... I'm better than most... What a jerk who thinks he is a Saint He just loves being praised It's all false confidence He can't do shit.... He can't get shit done. Everything that he got done, it was me who helped him get it done. I even helped him with money. I helped him fix everything. He was Making the stupidest mistakes. And I was telling him the right thing to do. What a jerk... I'm so glad... He is out of my life for good I should have known better. But Andrew is such an opposite. Although I'm a bit wary at trusting men now.. They are always impeccably good in the beginning and then later they give out such a toxic vibe two months into the relationship. When a man shows his true colors, he gets ugly. Most men just aren't authentic at all . Plastic...

Andrew is also an alpha male. But he is chill. That's so awesome about him He is a project leader in his software designing team. He is fun, relaxed. He is always calm and collected. Sexy... Confident, calm, healthy, strong.. He is athletic. Charming, sensitive,.. Honest... Great communicator,... Happy go lucky.. Makes money.. Very energetic and fun.. I never saw him morose or upset. He loves meditation and so do I. So we do great in that. Because I really need someone who is also interested in spirituality like I am. So it's great that he appreciates my spirituality and doesn't criticize like my immediate ex used to.. He used to fret about everything. This guy Andrew is sensitive to my needs. If I want to have a listening ear, he is incredibly patient. Last night I told him everything about my relationship with my boyfriend. And he agreed.. He said he will never be that way If he were in a relationship. He told me that I was brainwashed in a relationship that was horribly toxic. I'm so glad I could call him and he was there.

Andrew this is for you You are sweet.... Hehe I feel very flattered when I am with you.. You make me feel amazing.

Big blessing in disguise

After ranting and venting out I feel way better. Way better... Spat you out of my life you asshole.

I'm looking forward to meeting up with Andrew..... I want some more sexual chemistry with him But I want to take it really slow. Because my attachment with my current boyfriend (my immediate ex) is still lingering a bit and I'll have some hard time letting it go and feel normal again. But Andrew is really sweet. He is an American living here. I met him 3 months back at a local meditation center. And he was cool He is on the same page as me. He loves self development just like me. We both love spirituality. My asshole boyfriend.... Well that's what I am going to refer to him who I broke up with just a few days ago. He was a total asshole. He was American too. But very disrespectful and just a plain asshole who feels the need to feel important in the relationship at the expense of insulting me. But Andrew is nothing like that. Andrew is cool and mesmerizing. Quite tall. 6 feet and more. But I kinda match him well. I couldn't really think of hitting off with Andrew right away because I was still stuck with this asshole throughout this year. He wouldn't let me go. I was bonded but at the same time I resented his behavior. I stopped sending him stuff. Now with Andrew. We get along great. He is always smiling and gentle. He is not disrespectful like my asshole boyfriend Joe. Joe bye bye lol. Goodluck being an asshole to another woman. I had enough of you and I'm moving on super fast. That's the only way to get over you and create my new space. You really thought that I was going to put up with you forever. Nope. It gets too much. You really had me like a doormat. You controlled me too much. You were just very selfish and self centered, outlandish, arrogant, predatory (preying on my emotional weakness), narcissistic, cold, attention grabbing, and you brought tons and tons of negative energy into my life. Your words would cut through like a sword.. You were mean, vile alpha bad boy... I wanted alpha but not a bad boy. Negative,..... Self centered... Predatory... Narcissistic.... Heartless But I wish you good... Good luck.. Good luck screwing another woman.. But I doubt you will even get another woman after this. Guess what I was the only one to put up with so much because I was madly in love with you.. You knew it well You can go on preying another emotionally vulnerable woman but she will drop you like.... Like that.. She will be too smart to put up with you. You will never get another woman and I hope you don't because no other woman deserves to go through what I had to go through with you. I didn't deserve being treated that way. You are awful.. Your constant passive aggressive behavior had taken a toll on me. Your constant reassurances that you love me just to pull me back was lame. The only reason our relationship lasted was because I was so forgiving and empathetic to you. You had ways to draw my empathy card. Drawing my attention to you You said I was the love of your life, the Woman of your life, that you will never hurt me, that we are forever, that you can't live without me, you want to live with me forever.. Didn't you say that when you were in jail???? You told me that. Writing letters to me. Keeping a copy of me. Reading a book about me.....? How sweet... And when you came out of jail, you were so nice and warm... For how long? Two weeks.... What a joke. You were back to being the same asshole you were before your jail stint. You loved playing games, blaming me, passive aggressive, pulling me pushing me,.. You would start a fight over nothing. Just because you wanted more power in this relationship. You wanted to feel big. You always wanted to guilt me for something imaginary. I feel like a total fool for falling for you and giving you so much emotionally to come out feeling damaged. I betrayed you while you were in jail? Nope. I wanted to dump long before that.. It was the tipping point. I had taken too much by then.. You were a pain in the ass.. You were delusional. You think you are super awesome. You are just an immature narcissist. Glad I'm done with you. No regrets. But I do regret losing my time, emotions, health and resources dealing with your craziness. You were a waste of time. A waste of my health... Guess what...... I'm better now... Way better.. I gained weight. But still better. Thanks for the weight gain for all the bullshit abuse you put me through constantly attacking me and feeding on me. I have grown now. The moment a guy does what you did, I'm gonna dump him like a rotten egg. I am better for myself, more self confident now than ever before. I'm way better now. I feel free and independent. I don't feel like I need a man to validate me anymore. And the most important thing.. I don't feel the need to put up. One red flag... One bad sign.. One asshole move... And I will dump straight up. No more tolerance for assholes. No more dealing with bad behavior and forgiving it. I am going to learn setting up boundaries no matter how madly I'm in love. I will be with a person who respects those boundaries. I will be with a person who is matured and understanding and not someone who just needs his fix with me and is with me only because he gets what he wants I want a man who loves me unconditionally not some narcissistic asshole who uses strategies to devalue me and feeds on that meanwhile gloating how awesome and great he is and how he can get any woman he wants. Haha Goodluck bad boy asshole. Goodluck. You will meet someone weak like me or twisted. But I'm strong now. I was just in love. You took it as weakness. It was being soft because I didn't want to hurt you. But I'm over it. Andrew is 100 times better than you'll ever be. He respects me. If I create art, he calls it beautiful unlike you who use to make fun of my art and insult me. Andrew doesn't hurt me. Not at least now. I want a beautiful space with my man and me. And I'll create that. You lost me forever. And you can sit and regret it for the rest of your life. But I highly doubt it. Since you are a narcissistic, you will never truly regret anything. You will invent some blame on me and make it look like it was all for good. Bye for now. Even though the pain still hurts. The pain of loving and letting go. The pain of nurturing a relationship and then breaking it with my own hands. The pain of loving and caring someone deeply and then realizing that I am getting destroyed in their games. The pain of betrayal of my trust and forgiving nature. I settled for a lot. I put up a lot with you. Just a lot. Just a lot. Lesson learned. There is no need to put up with so much disrespect in the name of honoring love and promise. There is no need to put up with a user just because he needs me. There are much better people out there than you Joe. But you had a way of proving that you are the best. Nope. You are not. You are a boaster. You had a complete disregard for my feelings and you couldn't care if I had a bad day. Everything was all about you every time. But now I am looking forward to a bright future. Andrew is very patient. Very kind. Extremely kind. But I don't want to rush things. I want to be nice with him first,.... And wait till I feel like I can really be with him. But till then I want to focus on my spiritual journey .

Dodged a bullet

I'm falling in love with Andrew. But right now he is just a good friend. Last week we were intimate.

@Joseph Maynor Where's your journal. Did you download it?

You can't think like that. You have to think a bit about yourself and you have to be a bit selfish

@tsuki you're doing great work with lot of honesty and frankness. Respect!

@Bridge to Infinity how exactly are you displaying your neediness. Can you give a few examples?

Being an asshole should be a punishable offense

@Key Elements hahaha. Well I would have the same problem if I had kids. They would do that even before I get a chance to click pic

These people are very confident. They are deeply engaged in things that interest them. They talk to their partners only when they need something, have to vent or have a communication or a discussion and not just for the sake of lovey dovey exchange and assure each other that they are for other. This is a very matured relationship A relationship where partners have to constantly remind each other that they are for each other is very abnormal. They are acting petty and too immature and attention seeking. Won't be healthy long term. A non needy guy does not ring up her girlfriend only for sex. That's a primal duffer. A non needy guy will communicate a lot with his girlfriend openly but won't bug her to death A simple example - If the girlfriend says, "hey I need to go to bed" the guy allows it. And is okay with the end of the conversation or intimacy. But a needy guy will ask more time and no amount of time would ever be enough. A non needy guy doesn't keep a tab on what his girlfriend does or does not do. He is not thinking of what she must be doing all the time A non needy guy is not scared if he doesn't receive a reply to his text sent to her. He waits patiently. In fact he doesn't even wait. He immediately sets out to do his work in the meantime A non needy guy is not desperate to hear his girlfriend's response to a question related to the relationship. He gives her her own time. "take your own time" A non needy guy does not send his girlfriend a deluge of 30 text messages and 10 missed calls in an effort to reach her if she is not replying. He sends her only one text saying that he will wait till she replies back. . A non needy guy allows a girlfriend to go on a break especially after an argument. If she needs a break of a week, he lets her. A non needy guy is not feeling miserable if the girlfriend is hanging out with her girlfriends. He knows that she needs her own time. A non needy guy leaves his girlfriend completely alone when she says or begs 'leave me the fuck alone'... He doesn't bother her further. A non needy tries to hear his girlfriend first and lets her speak as long as she wants without constantly badgering and interrupting her thus frustrating and tiring her out A non needy guy doesn't get testy with a girl.. 'do you really love me'.. 'why can't you do this for me'... He doesn't ask her to prove her love for him constantly on a daily basis. He trusts her completely and believes that she loves him and doesn't put her to test or keep her in tight spot with this endless requests and questions. A non needy is more concerned if his girlfriend is happy with him. He tries to read her eyes, read her mind, he respects her space deeply and tries what she needs and what needs to be done to keep her in peace. He lets her be as she is and doesn't control her every move and responds only when he knows she is ready too. Finally. A non needy just minds his own business most of the time but shows affection when he thinks he needs to spice up his ladylove a little bit especially after a hard day's work. And yes..... A non needy boy doesn't have to be badboy to appear non needy. He is just a matured man.

You are having a mental habit and an immature disposition. This can be broken with practice. Most non needy guys were a bit needy in the beginning. Then with experience and many heterosexual relationships, they lose that neediness automatically. Understand and be aware that needy behavior can trigger a "shrugged or paranoid" psychological response in the female. I had this with my needy ex (one of the exes).. I would get frustrated with every "needy move or clingy behavior".. One trick is to reprogram your mind and realize that a girl is not the center of everything in life. Take deep interest and motivation in many pursuits and activities in life but don't do them just to impress a girl. That way the girl factor is dropped out. You are suffering low self esteem and low self worth combined with emotional immaturity and lack of emotional independence. Emotional independence means you don't need the opposite gender to fulfill you or complete you. Age is a factor here. With age progression, detachment gets very easily accomplished. Next strategy Intense socialization.. Try socialization online if you suffer social anxiety real time. Have as many friends as you can. Talk to a lot of people in whatever way you can. This helps with emotional independence Next strategy Travel This helps big time. Traveling to many places has a natural way of rewiring your brain to feel less needy and more confident and self assured. Games. As strange as it might sound, games are healthy as a coping mechanism for engaging the mind and keeping out neediness. They make you feel productive and independent. Though in moderation.. Social media Try setting up a social media account like Twitter or Instagram. May be did difficult in the beginning because you might not have much to post. Try posting anything, just your every day feelings or about political events. As you begin to gather an audience, this boosts your confidence and the need to express and open and reduces the need to rely on one person for your needs. Exercise When you exercise, the endorphins released bring a natural sense of independence and grounding. Don't do this to take a selfie. Do it for your mind. This keeps the mental hormones in check and reduces extreme reactions like neediness Openness. Seek a partner with whom you can share everything. If your partner is such that you can't be open with because of your self esteem or their judgmental behavior, this can cause you to naturally become more needy for their affection and validation. If the person has a great comfort zone with you, your neediness will exponentially decrease. Engagement On the spot remedy is engagement. If you spot yourself acting needy, distract and engage in some activity like watching a YouTube video, solving a puzzle or going out for a walk or doing household chores. Is your relationship depriving you Sometimes your neediness may not be your fault but your partner who constantly punishes you even for little affection. In this case you are going through Alienation or deprivation. Such a relationship is not worth having. Either air it out and let them hear you or break it up. Hanging out with the opposite gender Hang out with girls not necessarily for a relationship agenda in mind but just for friendship. Casual flirting helps ease the sexual tension and makes you feel comfortable and not as needy. Interact online if offline doesn't work Practice self control You need affection. You need reassurance. You need their time and comfort. This is part of addictive personality. You need intense self control for this impulsive addictive behavior. It's completely impulsive. The receptors in the brain constantly stimulate you to want the other person's presence. Practice self control by setting a self restraining boundary - like - I'll call her only 2 times today. I won't check my phone. I won't respond to her today. I won't bug her today. Keep days apart. Keep a particular time slot to communicate and exchange affection or company. This reduces the need to constantly want to want that person. Keeps that need in check.. The more time you put into practice, the better you get at it. Remember that partners are for you to grow in life. Try not making them the center of your life. Hope this helped

A design I made on the floor

Strategies Save your time and resources Cut the losses Be open and transparent and direct. No ifs no buts. You save more time this way Emotionally matured people do exactly opposite of what their emotions dictate They first detect their emotions. They don't fall prey to it. Learn from experience Learn from other's behaviors.partners friends Emotionally matured people don't jump. They first see the situation and decide What good will come out of this What bad will result or come out of this What Will I achieve from all this. Both the situation and the response/reaction. Emotionally immature people act borderline and immediately act on their emotional impulses. They follow the direction of their emotion. They don't detect or recognize their emotion and then use objectivity in approach. They don't manicure their responses. Words to describe such behavior Snap Aggression Borderline rage Defensive Insecure Panicky Lack of impulse control Low impulse control Loose cannon Batshit crazy Triggered Emotional Time bomb Fiery Tantrum Fit Out of control Impulsive Meltdown Jump the gun Fiesty Short temper Rampage mode Bipolar rage Set off Wild Frenzy Butthurt Berserk Unstable Fury wrath Charged Passionate Manic Crazy Weak Incited aroused Incensed Agitated Aggravated Roused Provoked Set off Pumped up Worked up Flustered Infuriated Riled up Antagonized Stirred Enraged