Preety_India

.. beautiful music

A different kind of dance

@remember oops sorry I thought you were a male up until now. You go gal.

@remember Dancing gets more amusing if you drink this before you hit the floor

It's ok let go. He is not a psychopath.. He is an alpha narcissist who can't control himself. But he is not a criminal or a psychopath/sociopath. He is also a human struggling with his flaws and problems. Too bad that he couldn't see his flaws. Maybe the breakup will bring an awakening in him. And I'm no Saint. I have my own flaws and immaturities. Everyone has. I pray for his recovery I have learned to forgive him. Leaving was the best for both of us. Because in an argument both suffer. I cannot downplay his suffering. I don't know what he is going through. So it's best for me to not judge him I don't wish harm on him. I wish him peace and understanding and growth. As per me, I need to find peace myself and not bank on people who are leaching me dry.. That won't help I believe deep down we are all capable of spiritual growth if we put some more work. I started this thread to seek help and advice regarding the nature of the relationship and the behavior of my partner and whether it would be best to leave him or not. The responses here were greatly helpful in making me understand the gravity of the abuse and the dangers ahead if I had married him, it cleared up a lot of my fears and doubts and confusion I had been having for a really long time and obviously I couldn't ask my boyfriend if it was right/wrong to leave so I had to seek outside help which I did here, and the responses fully resolved my mental conflict and convinced me that I needed to get out before it was too late. I didn't want the thread to be a continuous trashing of his character. He can't defend himself here. So please respect that. I have broken up and moved on and thanks for all the suggestions, advice and support. It was overwhelming helpful in my final decision making. Sorry for my tangential tone and I mean no offense to anyone. I don't mean to hurt. Have a great day!!

I have come to a massive massive awakening in my life..... After a lot of crying and all the tripping. Only reality matters. Only and only reality, no matter how bizarre, how false, how constrained, how unfitting and contradictory..... Only reality matters in the end. My reality.. Your reality. His reality. Her reality. Their reality. ... Only that is true.. Through the tears...... Accept reality no matter how bitter it is.... Accept and understand how things are. Let go that needs to be let go. Understand what your body needs. Understand the bigger picture. The STRUCTURE NOT THE CONTENT. DON'T GET ANGRY AT THE CONTENT. SEE THE STRUCTURE. LOOK at it from above. See what can be done to change things that suit your life purpose. Don't be stuck in the content. Be set on the structure Forget good, evil, right, wrong, me, you..... Just know that reality will be what it is. Let go. And let things be good. Let the beginning be towards a better end. You can only do so much. Rest leave to God You can't have everything. Understand limitations.

This felt powerful. This music feels like going meta on everything in life

The Ayahuasca tea and everything wow it was good. Feel better after I woke up Like very grounded but still floating in terms of imagination. I feel very forgiving now. It's intense. I feel a certain kind of music touching me. It's like this. I will record this in the other journal.