Preety_India

Does lsd help with that. That's great news. Thanks .

Kudos to Leo. I didn't know that thread even existed. Leo has made some outstanding points and some tragic truths about some young males idiosyncrasies about dating and getting women. He is 100% right on almost every point at least in my perspective. I see a terrible failure in a lot of these men on the thread in understanding a woman's perspective.. Yet they want a woman!! Thanks for bringing it up. It will help dissipate some of their insecurities which they hijack every dating thread with.

@tsuki @Mikael89 thank you for understanding

You have to be a woman, a virtuous woman. I don't know how to explain it to you. I woke up from a nightmare. You know what it was. Well it goes like this.... I am with a man. He says he loves me and only me and that im the woman of his life. I dream being with him, and having a family with him, marrying him, having kids with him because I am not a hoe... I want my relationship with him to grow. We are going great together. Everything is great, the romance sex, and we find no trouble. Then there are fights over silly things, him doing silly things, humiliating me in public, calling me names because he had a bad day. One day he makes my communication with him extremely difficult by constantly acting distant and he is acting weird but asking it with comedy and fake laughs but taking jabs at me and mocking me.. Shaming my dress sense, calling me a joker, poking fun at me. I have no idea what's wrong with him but I try to play along thinking this is just his way to act funny with me. But I can sense this is weird. He is still avoiding me meanwhile I'm planning a date night with him for the weekend. He draws a pink colored cartoon and pink colored horse and sends me texts with all pink colored graffiti pics. Pink is the name of the girl he is friends with on his Facebook. I am feeling uncomfortable. I ask him what's going on. He gives a sharp reply, " I like pink. She is my girl. She is my type.". I am left furious. I feel traumatized. I can't believe what I'm reading. What am I seeing. What's going on. I thought me and him were a couple. Is this a joke. Now I know why he was acting funny with me. I dump him. I am feeling disgusted and used. As I was waking from this pathetic nightmarish dream, my heart was racing and pounding. This is while I am semi conscious. Now you realize that our psychology is complex. Manipulating with someone's psychology is not a child's play. It has biological consequences similar to that observed in trauma like palpitations, anxiety, chest pounding, a gnawing sensation of discomfort and depression. In the beginning of the thread you were saying that I will put up with a man even if he beats me up. Since he is alpha and can attracts females. You're so wrong. A woman stays in an abusive relationship not because the man is alpha but because she is in love with him and the thought of leaving a relationship is too traumatizing for her, she experiences fear and trauma realizing her relationship, a careful caricature of security she built is tearing away rapidly, she can't cope with the loss so she stays put expecting a positive outcome and a change in her man, it's only after loads of coaxing and therapy and pressure from people that she realizes that she has to take urgent step of leaving the man no matter how difficult and emotionally uncomfortable such a step is, she ups her self confidence and breaks the cycle of fear and leaves. Exactly what I did. People here assured me that it's good to leave and supported me and bit of cajoling from everyone finally me break the cycle of confusion and fear and take the step to walk off. Emotional trauma is not an easy thing to deal with. I hope you don't have to deal with it. Because it messes with a person's internal growth. And in turn it affects physically like weight gain, weight loss, insomnia and Ptsd. I hope you realize that everything is not about attraction and fun. There is more to relationships than that. All I can say is this - respects the other person's emotional state and value structure. If someone is virtuous they deserve a virtuous partner. No area for manipulation. Rest everything is okay. Be authentic with intentions. Helps both parties.

@tsuki I want loads of serotonin.

I would want this to be played at my funeral. With his first hello.... This was the story of my Life.. My heart breaks with tears when I hear the words " She fills my heart" Because once upon a time . He filled my heart the first time our eyes met. I will meet you in heaven when I am gone. One day I'll be united with you. One day in heaven I'll be united with my soulmate. There won't be any fights. It gets lonely living this way always loving and breaking up..... What is love without pain..... The one who never really fell in love will never feel the pain.... How fickle is such a heart... I can always have new relationships,new beginnings but I thought you were the true one ,that's how it was to me , you said to me "I'd rather go blind than see you walk away ".......that touched me deep. Because nobody had ever said that to me ever before...people say "you look beautiful" " you are funny" and "I like you" ... but nobody said that ... True love lies in greatness. But I'm fortunate that even if it didn't work, I felt real love for once in my lifetime.... You were the Romeo And Juliet of my life. You were special and you will always be special even though I wasn't special to you in the same way you were to me..... Love can't be measured by how much you can give. ..by who you are and what you got .... Love is simply love... But you were my soulmate. And breaking up with you was almost like breaking up with myself. A part of me was lost forever....like losing someone ... Get angry at me now..get mad at me....I will always love you inside me ...even if I left you... it was never meant to be.... You haven't really lost me. I know... True lovers never really lose each other. I pray your life works out..that's all I want. Is you to do well..... Bye for now...meet me in heaven ..I promise I won't complain..

@Javfly33 try not to follow the rules too blindly. . because you can't totally change who you're. You can always change a little bit at a time. Be as much authentic as you can because dishonesty is a bad trait . Focus more on relationship Dynamics rather than what you should do or what you shouldn't do. For example what you do in a particular relationship may not be the best idea in another. Different relationships have different Dynamics depending on you and mostly the other person involved.. It all comes down to your real goal in a relationship and how driven you are to make it work The pickup books might help you a bit with realizing general dos and donts but not much more. In the end whatever happens within a relationship is dictated largely by both your and your partner's behaviors..here you'll have to be intuitive in sensing what needs to be done and what needs to be fixed. Because nobody truly knows what's going wrong in a relationship more than you and the other person. Here it's all your working. You gotta do your own research and see what will help you in a specific context .. I wouldn't say pickup books are bad or worthless. General relationship advice always comes handy. In fact the more you learn the better because it helps to weed out potentially harmful relationships early on in your life. Often a relationship situation doesn't work out because it is intrinsically unhealthy as it is ,that is you are in an unhelpful unhealthy impossible dynamic and this is where self-help pickup gurus are very beneficial because they can relate to your situation and at least let you know that it's an impossible dynamic you're trying to work your way through. But once you are in a healthy relationship dynamic, don't ruin it with relationship advice or general trends. Don't rely too much on social norms. Try making your own salad. Open up with your partner and see how you both can resolve the situation rather than looking for outside advice. It's a process of self growth unique to you.

@Mikael89 lol a man who thinks a woman should not have needs or her needs should be tailored to fit his game. ...actually a real feminine woman has a lot of needs. Men just despise them and call them needy and stuff. Because they don't want the hassle. But women who learn to suppress their needs actually turn more masculine in an evolutionary context which is again something that men resent. Funny. A man who wants a woman to have fewer needs is only trying to make it convenient for himself , I mean it makes his job easy right, he doesn't have to do much to keep her happy , but guilting her into thinking that she is unbearable if she expresses her needs. That's exactly what narcissists do, suppress their partner's needs and call them unhealthy and expect them to swallow their inner needs of intimacy thus leading to feelings of deprivation and frustration in the partner. That will never work. It's a great recipe for resentment. In fact the opposite is true. When her needs are expressed and the man respects it and encourages her to feel free and not restricted in the relationship, that's where she is happy and content and doesn't have to feel guilty for asking for something, this works for both the man and the woman and they are not frustrated,the only thing being that the man has to work a bit harder but that's okay because the rewards are equally great for them both in the long run. I wish they taught this in pickup groups

You miss the point. Not that it matters to me personally but just trying to put it out there as a woman. The whole pickup culture might be easy for men or whatever you call it desirable, but it's harmful for women. Women exactly do not look at relationships the way men do. Conduct a survey with women and you will find that most women want a stable home, a sense of security, a man they want as a husband and not like a male escort. They want that stability and a powerful relationship where they feel safe and secure and they want sex in the context of all this. Any woman who approaches you for sex is just experimenting for her temporary need but deep down even she wants family, kids, husband etc. If she doesn't want kids at least she wants a stable partner for life, women get tired quick, they can't hang on to something that doesn't have a future unless they are only looking for attention.. Most women wouldn't risk their bodies just for a night of sex because not only is unwanted pregnancy a huge fear in a woman's head so is sexually transmitted diseases. Men are a bit lousy when it comes to calculating everything. Anyway the point was that the women who are into casual dating are few and most women look for stable long term relationships. So Yea a woman's perspective doesn't fall in line with the whole pickup culture. And sometimes this is important because men approach with utter disregard to what a woman wants. That's bad for her mental health. If she wants you as a long term partner or if that's what she is looking for, she should be respected for her needs, she shouldn't have to be manipulated because the guy needs his experience, that's downright wrong and unjustified. When that happens and men lose interest or abandon her, she comes out hurt and her perception of men becomes hateful and skewed. Because after all her needs weren't met, but his were. Men aren't doing any favor to themselves in the long run. A growing resentment in women isn't exactly favorable to the entire male female dynamic. The whole problem with pickup culture is that it completely leaves out the needs of most women. That's selfish. .

Facing your inner toxic patterns

Hey,,,,, if you think I have got you on my mind, sorry I have bigger fish to fry. You have drained me. And I need to move on and focus on myself. So Yea you think that I'm some cold hearted bitch, but that's okay, I don't need to impress, I can choose to move on and live my life. I got my own stuff....

My main agenda this week Stay away from negativity

I'm planning to sit and meditate with Andrew.. He has weed. I can do that too. Last time we hung out we smoked some weed and it was pleasant. I felt great especially with him. He also gave me a bunch of Ayahuasca sachets. He is all into the psychedelic thing which I love.

It's a new day now.... I have to constantly remind myself... There are other people also..... There are other people also.. There are other people also Andrew will be coming to my place today to help me sort out stuff. He has been so supportive and sweet. I'm beginning to fall in love with him. Last time he got me chocolates lol

This is called deeper spiritual understanding of life. True love does not abandon. Does not leave. But a job does. Things aren't permanent. But true love is. I saw his true colors today during a recorded conversation. I'm baffled. To me love was not a transaction. But for him it was a transaction. I thought it was true love. How interesting is karma. He gets his karma 5 days after the breakup. How strange. He loses everything. Just everything. He is left with nothing. He was completely flippant with me. Now when someone else is flippant with him he is surprised. What a jerk. Now he is sitting hopeless. Maybe he still pines for me.. Listen... I'm never coming back to you. It's over. Once and for all. You are a user. You used me for your needs and much more. I didn't know why you were acting strange and attacking me. Now I exactly know why. I was right when my intuition told me that. It told me the right fucking thing about you. I was nothing but a puppet to you. Well I know better. You lost me forever. Regret all you wish. I'm not coming back. Your life will be a series of regrets. Keep convincing yourself that you don't regret anything. Because you are so selfish, you can't own up to it. You did all this drama with me for so long for the most cheapest motives. Now be glad. You lost everything He sacrificed a woman who stood up for him all along just for a fking training program. How selfish can you be. .. I see right through you. You are so cheap. You said you sacrificed everything for it including smoking, weed and me!!! Great...maybe you could have sold me for a pack of cigarettes or weed. Is that how cheap you are. Then my sister was totally right about you. Yep. If you could just abuse me to avoid a night conversation or because I dropped your $2 weed pipe, you could of course do a lot cheaper than that. You are a sellout. And you say tykes are bad. You are worse than them. You showed your true colors. I lost all respect for you. Go cry and bitch to your ex. She dumped you too. She is no good either. She swiped clean your bank account and dumped you so that she could wash her hands off you. Tragic!! She got her way out and you call her a pig. Funny. She is equally selfish. Both of you were a good match. You call her selfish and what are you... You are worse. At least she is a woman. Plus she did a lot for a loser like you. She paid your bills. After you drained her dry. Now she is better off. Exactly how manipulative can you really be. You are a cheap piece,fake as a two dollar bill, cheaper than a dime. My sister was right when she said you are not a good person. She knows your moves. Because your intentions were never genuine. That's why. Thank God I dodged a bullet. God saved me. I am glad Andrew was supporting me all the time.

He killed me for it It's bipolar neediness. Either its a psychological disorder that is like a blanket covering and dictating the emotions. Or it is the emotions that can't express because of the psychological disorder. I feel like it's the first. Which deep down it's all empty. It's only a psychological disorder that's creating a temporary neediness and feeling of love. Just temporary emotions like it happens with psychopaths. But it's not the second one. Where the psychological disorder is eclipsing the real emotions buried deep inside. It's not this. That's bipolar love. Not real love. Bipolar neediness masking itself as love. It's terrible.. The emotion feels real because the mind is trapped in that neediness. Real love shows in a real need. Not need triggered by external needs of sex and comfort.. A real need to love selflessly.. Real need is intrinsic and is ever present like a thirst that never quenches. Psychological needs are just assigned and are like dependent on the context and the intensity of a moment. They have nothing to do with a heart. A real heart feels pain This is like a psychological thriller between the mysteries of the mind and the heart. When the mind wants what it wants it mimics the emotions of the heart and plays it out to elicit an emotional response . This emotional response mimics the emotional response of a heart But true emotions are different than mental responses. They are no disguise .they are eternal. They are spiritual. Only a great man with a great heart can love a woman truly and unconditionally. Rest are only hunting and gaming. That's not love, thats an attraction game True love is eternal and spiritual. It doesn't change. It only grows. It may not materialize. But it's not untrue.

I wish I never had to do this

I'm so frustrated

I wholeheartedly agree. We live in a pick up culture. It's horrible. A guy should not be an okay signal to play with a girls emotions. What if we told women that they can sleep with 100 different men and break their hearts just for the sake of practice and experience. Would men be okay being treated like a toy ? Where is tradition? Where is culture? Where are values ? And c'mon,let's be honest, even if men wanted to sleep with women to get better at the Attraction game, is a man ever going to be honest with a woman and say, "hey girl, I want this relationship only because I want you as a practice girl." A man will first try to draw her in, attract her, make her fall in love with him and when his game is over, abandon her like it was nothing to him. Does he realize that if this behavior was repeated by all men, women will grow to hate and resent men for having played with their emotions. I mean being honest is better if the intention of commitment doesn't exist. If a woman sets a boundary she is considered stuck up. If a man sets a boundary other men will tease him as weak or incompetent or even worse, they will call him "gay" We live in an upside down world. Where real values have taken a backseat and desires are supreme!!

It's been 3 days now. And I have almost gotten over him finally.its been hard. Very hard. But I'm coming closer to getting over him completely. Once the emotional impulses are gone or subsided I will feel much better. I tried ranting, venting , sitting in the bathroom, crying into the pillow, listening to emotional songs, throwing it all out , getting the pain off my chest as much as I could ...after this purging for last 48 hours , I'm getting to where I am feeling sober.... I am okay now. The emotional purging helped a lot. Bottling it up inside is no good.. it makes healing difficult. But I know I'm strong. I will get over it. I just need to be a big girl now and let it all go..

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. - Mark Twain..