Preety_India

Love is the very substance of everything. The creative force. I think love does need some action. Where its expression becomes fulfilled. I see it as the expression of an artist. When it's not expressed it's not known. But when expressed through art it finds meaning and purpose and a powerful expression of it's form.

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Staying away from negative energy via Imgflip Meme Generator via Imgflip Meme Generator

Since I'm a practicing witch, it's difficult to not look at anything from a witch's perspective. There's a mourner's day in witchcraft. A ceremony to honor the death of a witch or a shaman or the loss of something. I'll be mourning the loss of a relationship. I'll be mourning the failure. The ceremony. Call the witches of the coven on mourner's day whenever it's decided. Gather around the witch's mound. The witch's mound for ceremonies. This can look like a small mound with or without a menhir. Recite prayers for the beloved or about the thing you're mourning. Wear dark colored clothing and dark colored conical headgear. Wear mourning robes. Walk around the mound in a circle Place black wreaths with purple flowers over the mound. Close the ceremony by casting a circle around the mound with salt. Other things that need to be done All witches place the athame pointing straight to the mound. And then walking in a circle while still pointing their athame. Now the burning of the cross. This is to signify the darkness of mourning. . A wooden cross is burned .. There will be fasting by all witches as a way to honor the mourning of one witch's loss. Every witch expresses her pain through fasting and writing a spell for the mourning witch praying for her faster recovery from grief and loss. Mourning period. For death - 30 days. Fasting involved For other losses - 3 days to 7 days following mourner's day. Distress period /period of turbulence - this is the period between the sudden loss, disappointment, or death or trauma characterized by shock,trauma, suddenness, withdrawal, confusion,chaos, agitation,anxiety and uneasiness. This period is from the start of the sudden event/incident till one week or up to mourner's day. Funeral service. Official funeral service is always held before mourner's day. Because mourner's day is chosen on a peaceful day after all official formalities for death and funeral are completed. And only when the mental emotional state is competent enough to host the day. This is the private day of mourning with or without other witches. It's not official. Witches can either be called for the ceremony or just informed. Just informed means they can privately mourn for the mourner on 7 consecutive nights writing spells for comfort, healing and recovery. Rules for mourning on 7 consecutive nights. Spells to be written with chanting Black dress with black hat White candles at altar. Mourning only at night when moon is out. Candle burning throughout the writing of spell. Spells to be placed in a boat shaped platter. via Imgflip Meme Generator via Imgflip Meme Generator

Last night I woke up from a nightmare. It was awful. I was missing him. I felt like he had called me. I tried checking my phone. I had his number blocked so impossible for him to call me. Why did I feel like this. A gnawing anxiety. Because there was never a time I was separated from him truly. We were together all the time. So not having him around for the first time felt different. Like I'm waking up to emptiness. A strange sensation in my chest. I forgot to write about this experience when I had it. For the first time I felt, wow he is not there. Not this time. No need to run .no need to look for him. No need to check if he needed me. No need to check because my needs won't be considered anyway. It was a sunken sullen feeling. Like being the loneliest person. Of course I could have easily shifted my focus on to other things and distracted myself by speaking to Andrew, but I didn't want to .. It felt ghastly. Very lonely. Like abandoned although I was the one who left him myself. But it still felt like a failure like a disappointment. Like it's never going to be good again. But whatever...... I woke up in peace finally. No nightmares. I just felt a peaceful separation. No separation anxiety this time. It was time to really move on. So with a heavy heart and some heavy steps I move on....

Nothing is truly lost except time. But then again, with time we lose everything .

They are too weak. Women are goal centric

Andrew was at my place yesterday. It was fun. We enjoyed sitting in the park... Very peaceful. He makes me feel at ease. We enjoyed some sexual intimacy for a short time. I want to take it slow. I told him that. He is very patient. A good listener.

That's awesome. Great job.

Avoid coffee guys big time especially if they are from my local region Time for a coffee break. Hot coffee smells good via Imgflip Meme Generator

Time to write code words. I remember the date It was May 7...I was really pissed off at my boyfriend. I wanted to break up. I just took to a random chatroom venting out my frustrations. And the response was good and I came back to coffee break site. This was somewhere around May 11. I was having a real tough time emotionally because me and my boyfriend had been fighting a lot in that week. From may 11 to may 17, I had a pretty bad experience on the coffee break site. It got really personal and it was middle of the night and there was this heated argument between me and this coffee guy . He was being hopeless really indecent. Really weirdo shit. That was an early experience to avoid coffee guys. It was scary. Like a stalker profile. I had to grow out of it pretty fast. I blocked that dude. Then I was trying to come back to normal in the days leading up to the arrest on may 24. But I had made up my mind by then. May 24 was when he was arrested. That's when I lost it. I lost my mental control. I was having a meltdown situation because things were emotionally tensed. This horror show continued till mid June. By July first week my condition returned back to normal. November 12 was finally when I had enough of this toxic shit and I broke up. So far so good. But a lot needs to be done. A lot of the damage needs to be undone.

It would be a completely different thing if I said I know how women work. Just chuckling inside. Seeing it come from a man, I don't know, it feels unsual.... but I would be humbled if a man really knew how women work. Especially if I could agree with him.

@Mikael89 I think it's normal in my opinion. I don't see it as a trap especially when the beginning years of passion have gone by, I see the fading of romance or spark as normal. To each his own.

I didn't mean to say to stay in a dysfunctional relationship for the sake of the kids. That would have a bad impact on their psychology. If you read the whole thing...i meant to say to live even in a mundane relationship for the sake of the kids. I don't see anything wrong with that. Relationships often can get mundane and monotonous because the novelty wears off or the romance fades after decades of being together. But to leave the relationship because of this is immature in my opinion. Relationship is a struggle just like any other struggle in life like a job or health or anything else. To not think about the kids is selfish. A lot of people put themselves before kids and leave the relationship for beautiful romantic experiences or adventures and sacrifice the needs of the kids. This is what I was talking about.

Biological need and neediness are two separate things. Biological need is extremely important and should never be ignored because it's primal, whereas neediness could be either due to biological deprivation or simply a psychological deficit/condition. Yes love is a need as well as an ever present unconditional spiritual quality. That's why it's complex. Love in the basic sense is very biological and in the higher sense reaches a state of exaltation. It's both practical and spiritual. However the one way to break this complexity is to use context. I cannot give the context of Jesus Christ while speaking of romantic relationships between man and woman. Similarly I cannot give the context of romantic love while speaking of connecting with higher consciousness and transcendent love for all sentient beings. Each belong where they are. A man/woman is a formation of both.

That's one of the reasons why a lot of relationships run their course and end in divorce. Especially after the seven year itch. I know a lot of friends who hit the spot at the 5 year mark. Romance and love fades. It's pretty natural. Sex becomes a routine. But there is something called maturity. And when you have kids, it's important to stay together for the sake of the kids, a commitment the couple should agree to before marriage. Because marriage and kids is a lot of work and not child's play. Once you have kids the definition of marriage changes dramatically. If that lady decided to walk away, she was just being judgemental. I'd be completely fine even in a mundane relationship as long as there is full commitment. I'm very loyal as a person. So I won't find a problem in staying in a relationship despite boredom. And I don't see wanting passion in a relationship as a sign of neediness. It's pretty normal to want that. But to discard a relationship for not having the spark is being uncompassionate because that person could be going through a time, it would be selfish of me to only think of my own needs My personality is such that I can adjust to anything, if my partner wanted fun and romance, I would switch on to that role and spice up the relationship, if my partner wanted dullness and humdrum because maybe he is too busy for fun, I would keep myself occupied with other stuff so as to not be a thorn to him. In essence I'm the worker,the one who compassionately puts all effort into making things work. In the end I will do everything for me and him only because I love him. I see love as compassion. But the worst part that will hurt me in a relationship is not whether it's passionate or mundane but knowing that he is not even giving 3% to the relationship meanwhile I'm giving at least 75% to it . That won't fit for me.

I don't know if I would feel the same way about a cashier or a stone. But I will definitely a reasonable level of expectations from a future partner. And I don't consider that as neediness. I think wanting to be loved and wanting to love is kinda biological in my opinion. It's just how the brain is wired. It's another thing to change this wiring and think in a more consciousness based way.

That was a very good point. Especially the boundless witness. You really have a goldmine there. What spiritual practices do you follow ?

You said some golden lines. That's a short summary of how women really feel. At least I can attest to that An emotional vampire is like a scammer. And a person without needs is like being with a statue or signing a contract. It gets suffocating. The ultimate way of describing a healthy romantic relationship from my point of view would be exactly how you put it " To love and be loved."

At least you are right about something.

Sociopathic and sexist Predatory behavior versus empathetic behavior. Some people think of empathetic behavior as something stupid. Empathetic behavior is where a person is trying to supplement and augment so as to kind of help and support the other person so that they benefit from your behavior. Predatory behavior is where you try to get maximum benefit for yourself at the expense of the other person They are also shemers and also good at emotional manipulation. Like he was good at rolling the dice so that he gains and the other person loses. He was good at inflaming Signs of his emotional manipulation were Jealousy Competitiveness Reading of emotional signals Intentionally offensive ( sociopathic behavior) User mentality Scheming Intentional deprivation or alienation Give a sense of insecurity Mistrust Intentional creation of confusion Need to be superior Sadism Skepticism Survival mode, deeply insecure Pushing away Protection and securing of urgent needs or primal needs Do opposite of what emotions dictate Sociopathic laughter Emotional manipulation Emotional gaming Manipulation Emotional aggression Passive aggression Easily withdrawing from conflicts Provocation Preying on flaws Staying away from mess Thinking from a primal angle Good people management skills Diplomatic. Tact Using a lot of primal thinking

It's time for me to take an exit I'll sometimes use code words for certain things I want to do. Like right now I feel like saying coffee break

Well.... Psychological problems are complex Some openly display pathological behaviors. Others like to keep it under wraps but there is still a certain level of discomfort felt around such people.

@Beginner Mind I'd say looks, character, behavior and maturity play a huge role. But most importantly willingness. No matter whatever the flaws,if the partner is ready to work on them,that's the only way a relationship will be fulfilled. Things can be taken care of. But no willingness to communicate,sit down or discuss problems or no willingness to solve conflicts is a disaster and in such a case, everything from looks to achievements, talents, personality, character goes to the drain

That's exactly what I said in the last para. Looks are important but character meaning behavior will ultimately decide the outcome of a relationship.