Preety_India

The other two concepts that I need to reiterate from before are Engineering Empowering Coping Engineering will include focusing on reflecting in a moment and steering your actions towards your goal or purpose. Empowering is to reflect and keep an alert watch on how things empower you or disempower you. Coping is to look for things that are supportive and help to keep a calm and safe state. Like coping under stress or anxiety using distraction.

It's difficult to make that happen. I'm myself a youngster struggling with that. But going through many toxic relationships I had the opportunity to understand toxic patterns in my partners as well as myself. Like they say experience is the greatest teacher of all.

I'm going to include mental safety guidelines. It's gonna be shelved as coffee adjacent

Wholeheartedly agree. The behavior of extrapolating an individual's mentality and use it to color the entire gender is very similar to stereotyping and comes from a low consciousness state. Therefore the behavior of the opposite person/partner is more important than what they teach in a pua community. Because their thinking patterns will never apply to a real time situation because every situation is like a separate case and so a man will have to be pretty much impromptu in his approach and understand her psyche to see how he can align himself to her and get along with her. Following a pattern based thinking will only lead to borderline behavior and sabotaging a potentially good blossoming relationship.

I tried to make the same point earlier. That a nice guy is still attractive if his value structure is genuine and not coming from a place of manipulation just to win the woman.. A man can be nice and attractive at the same time to a real woman who values his kindness and is not too carried away or blinded by bad boy social image but believes in her own beliefs and does not submit to peer pressure. She will value him and find him attractive because he knows he has more to offer spiritually and emotionally to her than some alpha bad boy who is only good in bed. Deep down a lot has to do with what the other person's value structure is and therefore the nice guy is at no fault. He is better off with a potential partner who is going to value and respect him rather than blame himself for being rejected by a person(woman) whose value structure is not congruent with his.

I think this can be very similar to a sort of jealousy women feel towards a archetype of the seductress also sometimes to the Succubus who is great at sexually attracting a man to herself like Jezebel but uses him eventually for her goals because she is the goldigger or the psychopath who uses her sexual charisma to get his wealth and enjoy fortune and status. It's to see how we all get enmeshed into this whole game of sexuality and dominance and survival and easily forget the value of truth and higher goals and purpose. It's about animalism trumping on spiritualism. But there are hopefully ways to deal with this cognitive dilemma. One is to be liberated from this primal game and focus on true purpose and not get overwhelmed by games people play. In the end karma is a very strong word and what starts with good intentions ends with good outcomes. Something that is really not rooted in real values is materialism and society loves to project it like success or power. This is again an illusion that disempowers us. To be true to yourself and not get carried away by materialism and illusions is a great indicator of strength of character. The rewards of the earth are temporary. The rewards of great intentions are ever lasting. In the end what is real stays real. Like you can always have a fake diamond. But nothing overcomes the shine of a real diamond. It's pure beauty free from corruption.

That's awesome. Best wishes and please take care of yourself. You deserve all the happiness.

Addicted to coffee

That's okay. People build empires by stealing money and scamming. I want to walk on a path of consciousness and truth and values. So I don't need to follow their examples. Success achieved by wrong means is not true success and no success at all. It's like the ends justify the means. I'd rather the means justify the ends. Sportsmanship is more valuable to me than winning the game. But I can understand the need to sharpen the tools or skills needed even if it meant the intent is not right or authentic. Like a mock rehearsal.

I agree. They teach false confidence lol

Oh wow!!! You sort of answered all threads that men write here in one post. What you describe is like the problem with nearly 99 % of men in relationships. They never get the point you're making. All is within that post. The cognitive dissonance that causes men to get unnecessarily needy and not be rooted. Constantly getting shifty and unstable in a relationship creating constant tension causing stress to the woman and making her undo the cognitive dissonance he suffers from and eventually tiring her out. Because it's an endless loop based in the false confidence of a man that is the source of the problem. Most men show false confidence to win a woman and then get flaccid and clueless as you mentioned. This crumbles the relationship eventually. At that point it doesn't even matter whether he is a nice guy or a bad boy because he is already on the path to the demise of the relationship. He set himself up for failure and its the woman's job to relentlessly work at saving the relationship taking a toll on her. And if she is the type who gives too many shit tests then the demise is going to be much earlier. Golden points in your post.

That was an awful amount of projection.

I disagree. Confidence can't come without real inner work. Confidence just for the sake of confidence has no real source and thus its foundation is shaky and easily crumbles under pressure and test/obstacle.

I keep like a larger goal in my mind. Then I think about the moment and like you said I think if what I'm doing in the moment is reflective and supportive of my larger purpose. I have just recently started implementing this technique. I call this process engineering. Fitting smaller things into a larger plan. It's not my life purpose. Just a thought process I have recently begun to practice. When you mentioned it, it reminded me of what I had been doing.

Tradgie/trudgie Drudgie sludgie/shludgie mudgie /messdgie

Hope you are doing fine. I went through a similar experience recently where I overdosed on sleeping pills. It wasn't the right thing to do but I was overwhelmed by my relationship troubles. After having broken up I feel much better. Recovery takes a lot of time, self love, distraction and inner grit. Best wishes.

Funny because I had this same insight a few days ago. And I labeled it as "engineering"...

Thank you

That's the ultimate alpha thing to do.

There was a minor difference. A small word that was missed out which can make a ginormous difference in context. And that word was "shallow" Treating an immature shallow woman like a princess is same as me treating a jerk as a prince. I shouldn't be surprised if I get shit on by him. Go after a golddigger. You get a golddigger. Go after a jerk. You get a jerk.

the definition of consciousness. Nothing boring about it. Not boring for me though.

That's a matter of semantics. And how one takes it.

Nope because most highly conscious people agree with me and I agree with them. So it confirmed to me that it's not an illusion or delusion of my creation. Some examples are right here.

Some criticism is necessary for growth. Acceptance is important.

What he meant was that men who like slutty and women who like baddy are both immature from the point of consciousness. And he is right in my opinion. People with higher consciousness don't think in limited ways. They look for values and not casual fulfillment of desires. By the way its okay to blame women. Blaming only men would be very sexist.