Preety_India

Hey don't fight with him and waste your time. A good person wouldn't want you to do that Be clear and keep your boundaries. Stay away from people who target your weakness. It's exploitation Take care

Nahm Moderator 14,549 posts Posted 10 hours ago · The hardest thing about meditation is starting, because you don’t know how beneficial it is until you practice. The second hardest thing is feeling so good you start skipping the practices. Walking Meditation Walking meditation is a great way to begin integrating the power of meditation into your daily life. It is the first stage of meditation in action, that is, learning to be meditative while "out and about" in the world. It is great to do while, for example, taking a walk in the park, at the beach, or in another natural setting. Walking meditation is often recommended for people who are doing a lot of sitting meditation. If you are getting to sleepy, or your awareness is getting to "muddy," walking meditation can perk you up. Alternately, if you are getting to concentrated and mentally "stiff," walking meditation is a perfect way to loosen up a bit. Walking meditation is a common practice in Vipassana and Zen Buddhism. Pay close attention to the physical activity of walking slowly 1. Before walking, stand still in an open, balanced posture. Bring your awareness to the feeling of your feet touching the ground. 2. Now begin walking. Keep your gaze fixed on the ground about six feet in front of you. This will help you to avoid distraction. 3. Note and mentally label three parts of each step you take. The labels are "lifting," "pushing," and "dropping." Lifting - when you are picking your foot up Pushing - as you are moving it forward Dropping - as you are lowering it to the ground As you make each label, pay very close attention to the actual physical sensations associated with each of these actions. 4. After these three components become clear, you can add three more, so that the entire sequence is: "raising," "lifting," "pushing," "dropping," "touching," and "pressing." 5. Your mind will probably also engage in thinking extraneous thoughts, but just allow these to go on in the background. Your foreground attention should stay on the physical sensations of walking. 6. If you find that you have been completely lost in thought, stop walking for a moment and label the thinking as "thinking, thinking, thinking." 7. Then re-establish your awareness on the feeling in your feet, and begin the walking meditation again. 8. A typical session of walking meditation lasts a half an hour. CAUTIONS: Make sure to watch where you are going, especially if you are around traffic, other people, etc. https://sites.google.com/site/psychospiritualtools/Home/meditation-practices Awareness of Thoughts Meditation By learning to watch your thoughts come and go during this practice, you can gain deeper insight into thinking altogether (such as its transience) and into specific relationships among your thoughts and your emotions, sensations, and desires. This practice can also help you take your thoughts less personally, and not automatically believe them. Additionally, this meditation can offer insight into any habitual patterns of thinking and related reactions. Observe your thoughts as they arise and pass away. · By “thoughts,” we mean self-talk and other verbal content, as well as images, memories, fantasies, and plans. Just thoughts may appear in awareness, or thoughts plus sensations, emotions, or desires. · Sit or lie down on your back in a comfortable position. · Become aware of the sensations of breathing. · After a few minutes of following your breath, shift your attention to the various thoughts that are arising, persisting, and then passing away in your mind. · Try to observe your thoughts instead of getting involved with their content or resisting them. · Notice the content of your thoughts, any emotions accompanying them, and the strength or pull of the thought. · Try to get curious about your thoughts. Investigate whether you think in mainly images or words, whether your thoughts are in color or black and white, and how your thoughts feel in your body. · See if you notice any gaps or pauses between thoughts. · Every time you become aware that you are lost in the content of your thoughts, simply note this and return to observing your thoughts and emotions. · Remember that one of the brain’s major purposes is to think, and there is nothing wrong with thinking. You are simply practicing not automatically believing and grasping on to your thoughts. · When you are ready, return your attention to your breath for a few minutes and slowly open your eyes. Optional: · There are various metaphors and images you can use to help observe your thoughts. These include: o Imagining you are as vast and open as the sky, and thoughts are simply clouds, birds, or planes passing through the open space. o Imagining you are sitting on the side of a river watching your thoughts float by like leaves or ripples in the stream. o Imagine your thoughts are like cars, buses, or trains passing by. Every time you realize you are thinking, you can “get off the bus/train” and return to observing. Awareness of thoughts and emotions is one of the areas of focus developed when cultivating mindfulness. In Buddhism, mindfulness is one of the seven factors of enlightenment and the seventh instruction in the Noble Eightfold Path. The Seven Factors of Enlightenment: https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/piyadassi/wheel001.html The Four Noble Truths:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths The Noble Eightfold Path: https://tricycle.org/magazine/noble-eightfold-path/ CAUTIONS: Please be gentle with yourself if you notice that you are constantly caught up in your thoughts instead of observing them. This is both common and normal. When you realize that you are thinking, gently and compassionately return to observing your thoughts. If the content of your thoughts is too disturbing or distressing, gently shift your attention to your breathing, sounds, or discontinue the practice. · Remember that you are not trying to stop thoughts or only allow certain ones to arise. Try to treat all thoughts equally and let them pass away without engaging in their content. · This practice can initially be more challenging than other meditations. As you are learning, practice this meditation for only a few minutes at a time if that is easier. · It can be helpful to treat thoughts the same way that you treat sounds or body sensations, and view them as impersonal events that arise and pass away. · Some people like to assign numbers or nicknames to reoccurring thoughts in order to reduce their pull and effect. Breathe Awareness Meditation Stress is an extremely unhealthy condition. It causes the body to release the chemical cortisol, which has been shown to reduce brain and organ function, among many other dangerous effects. Modern society inadvertently encourages a state of almost continuous stress in people. This is a meditation that encourages physical and mental relaxation, which can greatly reduce the effects of stress on the body and mind. Sit still and pay close attention to your breathing process. Take a reposed, seated posture. Your back should be straight and your body as relaxed as possible. Close your eyes, and bring your attention to your breathing process. Simply notice you are breathing. Do not attempt to change your breath in any way. Breath simply and normally. Try to notice both the in breath and the out breath; the inhale and the exhale. "Notice" means to actually feel the breathing in your body with your body. It is not necessary to visualize your breathing or to think about it in any way except to notice it with your somatic awareness. Each time your attention wanders from the act of breathing, return it to noticing the breath. Do this gently and without judgment. Remember to really feel into the act of breathing. If you want to go more deeply into this, concentrate on each area of breathing in turn. Here is an example sequence: 1. Notice how the air feels moving through your nostrils on both the in breath and the out breath. 2. Notice how the air feels moving through your mouth and throat. You may feel a sort of slightly raspy or ragged feeling as the air moves through your throat. This is normal and also something to feel into. 3. Notice how the air feels as it fills and empties your chest cavity. Feel how your rib cage rises slowly with each in breath, and gently deflates with each out breath. 4. Notice how your back expands and contracts with each breath. Actually feel it shifting and changing as you breath. 5. Notice how the belly expands outward with each in breath and pulls inward with each in breath. Allow your attention to fully enter the body sensation of the belly moving with each breath. 6. Now allow your attention to cover your entire body at once as you breath in and out. Closely notice all the sensations of the body as it breathes. Repeat this sequence over and over, giving each step your full attention as you do it. Suggested time is at least 10 minutes. Thirty minutes is better, if you are capable of it. If you find yourself distracted by a lot of mental chatter, you can use verbal labeling as an aid to concentration. For example, on the in breath, mentally say to yourself, "Breathing in." On the out breath, say, "Breathing out." Another possibility is to mentally count each breath. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY User Quote Bookmark Nonduality & Meditations Now “ ...every revolutionary act, is an act of love...” - Zach de la Rocha Quote this ivory Member 462 posts Posted 9 hours ago · If I had to pick two practices to maintain for the rest of my life I'd pick breathing exercises and going on daily walks. In learning to breathe properly a good majority of thinking is reduced. If I had to estimate, I would say that 2/3 of my thinking ceases when I am practicing regularly. Imagine being 66% less stressed out. Also, breathing reduces the intensity of emotion making it much more bearable. Sometimes, difficult emotions even have a "feel good" quality. I do also do a 45 minute brisk walk to get my endorphins flowing. With a daily practice I tend to be much happier even when I'm not doing anything in particular. I used to run, which was even better, but after so many injuries I decided to take things down a notch. Walking is at least sustainable. User Quote Bookmark peanutspathtotruth Member 410 posts Posted 15 minutes ago · @AwakenedSoul444 Next to of course going to the root of it, there is nothing more relieving I found than Yoga Nidra. It's complete, absolute relaxation of your body. You might not have done that for years. Even in sleep you are not as relaxed as in Yoga Nidra. I highly recommend "Tripura Mandala" on YouTube. Lovely man. Take the beginner Yoga Nidra session and work up from there. 1 hour in complete relaxation = you feel like a newborn. User Quote Bookmark Anton Rogachevski Member 788 posts Posted 2 minutes ago · Acceptance of suffering. Not wanting to not want it. The desire to stop suffering is in fact the source of suffering. User Quote Bookmark https://antonsjournal.home.blog "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." William Shakespeare Reply to this topic... Follow4 Actualized.org Terms Privacy

I'm starting this journal for anyone and everyone to record any forum threads or posts that you found useful for your everyday living. Any topic or valuable insight offered in the forum question answers that you might need for reference or recollection. Anybody can post. Share or copy paste the post or quote. Whatever you choose. Thanks guy.

I wanted to talk about fatal self esteem and low self esteem and normal self esteem and high self esteem

True that. Great suggestions.

Me and Andrew are getting along really well. He is so passionate. I like that. Yesterday it was so cold when we were sitting in the park at night. Just before midnight. Like heeeee cold breeze. Tingling and shivering. We were laughing so hard. It was the best night ever. I like when we spend time like this. It's not really romantic just like buddies. But we feel that tug. He is awesome He can literally read my mood. I liked his black jacket.

Just be authentic and very honest. That way she is never insecure with you. But always let her know that she is your top priority. Being a nice guy doesn't help if you are manipulating her. Any woman will respect honesty above else. A very useful tip to have and keep a woman - don't be an asshole or jerk. Never works Men want a woman who is genuinely committed to them and very loyal. If they see a woman being nice to all men and being flirty with every guy she sees, it's a huge turn off for most men. Because she begins to look like public property. No guy wants that. Same way women look at nice guys. Because they are going to be nice to all women. It shows desperation and lack of genuineness. Like a front or fakery In real life most nice guys are just fakes. No man likes a woman with a fake smile. No woman likes a man who takes a passing interest in her and offers her help just to get her attention and then gives up when the shit tests come up. A very important question you can ask yourself if you are buying a woman a drink is "am I liking this woman just because she is an attractive female or because I like her because I only like her and no one else" ... Women like exclusivity just like men. They don't want a man who likes all women because that creates insecurity. Often times a nice guy always gives this impression that he is going to be nice to every lady for her attention. This looks like a male model or akin to a male escort. That looks cheap like a sell out guy. That's why nice men don't get women just like women who get with all sorts of men don't end up getting a real man. Also women judge men a lot on the basis of past relationships. If they were with a nice guy before who was nice only for a few days, they will be inclined to think that nice guys are "time pass" and not husband material or serious relationship material. How to bypass this problem Be very persuasive of the woman you want. Make your choice clear. Show loyalty. Don't flirt with everyone you see, you are sending the wrong message. Be ready for shit tests Show your nice guy behavior even 3 months into the relationship and not just for the first 2 weeks. Be open about what you are looking for. Don't make her feel she is an object for your desires. Your heart will show no matter how much ever you hide. If you are fake it will show. Treat her with respect. If she treats you bad in return, she is not worth it. Be an honorable guy and if she is a lady, she will admire you for that.

Values are not aligned in a way that they will create a comfort space for another person. Spiritual development means you have to focus on Emotions Psychology Morality and conscience Value structure Qualities Traits Intentions Beliefs, values and mentality /attitude Awareness Consciousness Depth and substance Authenticity Aesthetics and Desirability Maturity

I'm focusing on creating a comfort space for myself from now on. This is important for spiritual growth. I was thinking about the whole comet concept and the lotus concept of spirituality. Shedding the baggage and about becoming a more universal purer beautiful form

Beauty has only one look

Drawing boundaries helps with a lot of things in life

For this you'll need to be total pro. Not necessarily spiritually but in terms of psychological and people dealing skills. This will need gigantic strength and a mountain of experience dealing with all sorts of people. What are you trying to hint at here, is someone like a huge investment banker or marketer who has to deal with people 24/7. And who is an expert at handling all personality types. Like a huge building who doesn't get impacted by any form of stress or difficult people. Hmm. That's very stressful to be frank. Normal people usually succumb to the stress and give up. If there was a neurotic controlling selfish scammy person on this site who is trying to swindle Leo or running riot on here manipulating or abusing people here, what do you think Leo would do? He will ban him. Most people just avoid the horrible ones for the sake of safety but marketers have to put up with all sorts of clients even abusive ones. Those jobs are hell and you will need to be a pro to get a good night's rest in those jobs. They well need intense training but also a great deal of mental fitness which a lot of people out there just aren't born with. Your area of research from a leader's perspective should be focused on DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS LIKE A PRO.... There are lots of books on that. You can read. I can read. But I don't think even after reading I can be that person. Sorry but not my cup of tea. Most people are sensitive. That's not everyone can become a wall street banker or CEO. But in normal every day life you can still handle difficult people by getting to know their clues and cues and how they react or assume or interpret your verbal as well as non verbal communication. This will need enormous practice and self restraint. But you can always get better at it with time, effort and experience. Women generally perform very poor on these variables because they get emotional and can't handle the stress. At least in your close circle of family friends relationships you can cut off such people because they can be massive energy vampires. But if you have to deal with them as a client, employee, student, manager position I'd say it will need some training to both deal and cope with them All I can say is they are a huge stress. So the benefits should always outweigh the risks or hassle by a huge gap or else it's not worth it. I mean would you like to deal with an aggressive narcissistic bully boss for merely pennies on the job. It really boils down to that. But if you are getting a huge benefit like a magnificent deal, let's a really cheap big house or a great career opportunity then it's worth taking a risk of dealing with an abusive business partner/head executive /landlord. Best wishes on your personal development.

I'm beginning to notice this as well. I have been polite and gracious in my behavior to my close friends and even in relationships. Instead of being rewarded and considered compassionate, I was treated like shit. What you perceive as interpretation by other people is highly dependent on the person who you are dealing with. Although this might seem harsh and difficult to agree with, I will say the truth very frankly that people who mistreat you despite your good behavior are garbage. They are not worth your time no matter whatever you think of them. You are not the problem when you are being friendly, kind and helpful. They are the problem for not being decent. I admit that I suffer from low self esteem but my polite behavior with the people in my life was not because of attention seeking or low self esteem but genuine decency. I would never treat someone badly if they were polite friendly and sweet to me. It's an Abuser's mentality to think that you are weak just because you are being decent Because they are looking to use you, abuse you, dump you so they have to justify their behavior by showing that you deserved it since you have low self esteem. This is not true at all. Nobody deserves to be treated unkind especially when they are being nice. Only a narcissist would think in such a abusive toxic manner. I'm personally a witness to narcissistic abuse and coming out of it freshly has given me important perspectives. For a good amount of time, I blamed myself for the treatment I was receiving from the narcissistic partner I had. I thought that I was doing something wrong because of which I was being treated bad. This thinking is also a part of low self esteem. It took me quite some time and input from people and my own reflection and processing that finally made me realize that it's not my fault but the person's fault for treating me badly even when I am showing my best behavior. I understood after some time that this is what emotional abuse looks like. So understand that not everyone thinks the same way when you are being humble and gentle. Only decent people are going to value you and be grateful for your presence. Indecent people will always find a fault even when you are being nice because they are emotionally abusive. Now the low self esteem part. If you are continuing to behave politely despite that person's shitty response and not standing up for yourself is a definite indicator that you have low self esteem and greatly increases your chances of getting abused in relationships and friendships. In this case you would need to upgrade your self esteem and learn to draw specific boundaries to let the person know that you will not put up with their emotionally abusive behavior. In a nutshell we need to focus on our own flaws and seek guidance to work on them but never ignore the signs people are giving you. Even in the worst circumstances a good person will always be good to you instead of exploiting and abusing you for your weaknesses. In fact they will remind you of your neediness or low self esteem and not stoop low to take advantage of you. The healing part. One is to work on the low self esteem. But the other is to learn to read the good and the bad in people. This way you learn to keep abusers and indecent people out and only decent people in your circle. Thus you avoid becoming a victim to someone's bad behavior and spare yourself emotional damage. Do not always judge yourself and think that whatever another person does to you is normal code. No its not. This thinking of immediately giving validation to someone's behavior is also a part of codependency and low self esteem. Often we are inclined to think that just because it's social circle that they are right and you are wrong. This is simply because of peer pressure and their bullying ways which you are normalizing in your mind. This is fatal. Validating a sociopath's behavior will set you on the same path towards becoming like them and this is often found in people who seek or fall in bad company. It's never right to emulate bad behavior. It should be identified for what it is and condemned for what it is. I will finish with this quote from Krishnamurti

I wish they had to spend some jail time for the amount of harm they do with their emotional abuse. They will deserve some. A smack in their face beaming with sociopathic laughter.

Cold hearted egotistical evil self righteous narcissistic maniac with a mean sociopathic streak

God love and positivity. Supreme confidence. Brain and intent. Consciousness.. positive consciousness.

My question is How is a teacher different from a book? Why isn't a book better than a teacher?

@Aeris Any addiction can be taken care of.

Yogananda Paramhansa and Sai Baba Shirdi and Osho, Ramana Maharishi Dr Joseph Murphy Dr John Bergman Bruce Lipton Deepak Chopra Matthieu Ricard Carl Sagan Gerald Gardner Leo Gura Justin Peters John MacArthur Eckhart Tolle Wayne Dyer Buddha Christ Dalai lama Martin Luther Satre, Descartes,Kant

I don't want a bad guy please please please

Giggle

Would he have said like that or done that to his son?

Do not judge yourself

I'm going to write about passive aggressive behavior just as a reminder Invalidation Contradiction Blame Gaslighting Emotional aggression Entrapment Deliberate confusion or open ending Infantilization Trivialization Name calling Mocking Breaking boundaries Ignoring Silent treatment Bipolar push pull Guilt tripping Eliciting empathy Emotional blackmail Harassment Hypothesizing Testy Disrespectful of space Isolation

After the breakup I'm coping really good and Andrew is helping me big time. He knows what I have been going through. He has been very supportive.