Preety_India

Relationships always come with all sorts of challenges. It's just how nature is. If you constantly pick and choose, then no relationship will ever be perfect. Not responding to text can mean a lot of different things.. It's not always ghosting. It can mean the person is just not in the frame of mind to have an argument.. Or deal with stuff. Sometimes it's best to leave some period of time then constantly rub salt into wounds especially after an argument. Such situations will even arise in marriage. Then you can't jump to divorce. Understanding is they key if you really care to love that person and sustain the relationship. That person will eventually respond when they feel the comfort space to be able to do so. Till then it's just tricky and best left unresolved. Of course if too much time passes, it's time to move on. We are humans. We can be indecisive especially in relationships. This is nothing new or nothing wrong. Relationships involve a lot of investment of emotions. How do you expect a woman to just say "I'm breaking up or we are done" when she has been emotionally invested in it for a while. It's not an on or off switch machine. Plus there are other ways to blame. Had she responded with a text that she was done, she would be called a "cold bitch", do you see the problem now. Plus she loses her prospects of making the relationship work if she ends it on her side. Maybe she wants it to work and that's why she needs space. To prematurely jump to conclusions is a sign of immaturity. Not everything is ghosting and manipulation. Sometimes we want our "me" time. And communicating that can be perceived negatively or lead to more arguments. There is really no packaged way of dealing with relationships other than simply respond to the cues given by the other person. If they want space, give them space, if she wants love, give her love, if she wants attention, give her attention. You cannot have a textbook on this. Do what makes the person happy. But even after all the efforts, if things don't work out and the other person is not interested then move on. Failure in relationships hits hard. So make it work if you can and while you can. But if the tree can grow no more, then cut it.

There's no point in having a long distance relationship.. It will only hurt you more. It doesn't satisfy your needs in a relationship. Long distance relationships are like clouds that just pass by. In your case it seems you're friendly enough to be able to approach so many girls as you mention. So approaching shouldn't be a problem. I think you just haven't hit the jackpot yet. So keep trying. And don't get upset with rejections. Work on yourself in the mean time.

Some people need space. How about that. And you are true that some women expect the man to understand. So be it. Get the hint and move on. Nothing promotes neediness. It's the inner self which is the problem. Blaming another person does nothing. There is always turmoil in relationships. They are tricky. The strategy lies in understanding the other person's psyche. They are not wrong if they don't want to hurt. By not responding they have made their boundaries clear. I think after a certain amount of time a person should just move on if there is no response.. I mean this is common sense..

This is not the case of setting boundaries at least not in my perspective. Sending someone text after text is not called setting boundary or having problem in setting boundary. It's called invading other's boundaries Basically it means utter disrespect for another person and acting as you want disregarding how their boundaries are getting violated. He is trying to assert himself even when she doesn't want it or at least doesn't respond to it, that does not create love, it creates annoyance and the feeling of disrespect. It means a person calling you despite you asking for space. When someone does that, a person with healthy boundaries and self respect is going to feel violated. Too much needy behavior comes across as selfishness when the person only cares about their own needs. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

It's just failure to develop intimacy. This happens a lot. Not everyone is meant to have that special place in our lives. Even if you tried it, it leads to feelings of emptiness and it gets mechanical.. You have to be lucky to be able to get intimate with a person you are really attracted to. Not many people get that.. Once you have that intimacy it obviously blossoms into relationship. Causes of such lack Social anxiety Shyness Lack of confidence Lack of communication Insecurity Approach anxiety Previous bad experiences Prejudice against the opposite gender Inability to show affection Cognitive dissonance Depression Body image issues Sexual hangups and insecurities Lack of trust

I think he needs to be more empathetic. You're not wasting your time on poker! Tell him to get real

@Raptorsin7 yep.

I can do that. The problem is certain thoughts are intrusive and they can easily seep into the subconscious before you have time to ignore or block them. These are intrusive thoughts and hard to uncondition. For example you have a presentation for your job tomorrow. Now the night before the presentation you are trying to not stress yourself but suddenly a thought comes to your mind "what if I didn't fix that error in the document or maybe it won't go well" this thought has already formed in your mind and even you cast it out or ignore it, it has flown into your subconscious mind before you could catch it. This thought has now generated anxiety and this anxiety is now blocking your sleep. So you see.. Sometime you simply cannot ignore the thoughts which are having a direct impact on your health or life. They need to be brought to the surface, confronted, detected, recognized, labeled and then called a bullshit or considered bad or wrong or intrusive. Then they should be discarded each time they appear. This way such thoughts can't manipulate the mind

It's important for me to get rid of mental blocks. To focus on how to immediately put out mental thinking that blocks further progress or general development. Any thought pattern should be immediately recognized and categorized as bullshit. Because it is what it is. My thought patterns have been very destructive.

Always use the end perspective and the big picture. Like what's the end of this.. It helps a lot

I know it's not her but I don't think you respect a woman as much as you would like to assume. You say that your girlfriend wasn't responding to you. You contradict and manipulate to make the narrative fit your needs

Dude just a while ago you were complaining about your girlfriend not texting you back for 2 weeks and you really wanting her bad and you were hurt by her right Are you contradicting yourself? You wanted her only for "that"? So maybe this attitude is the reason why she was avoiding you. Maybe she should be the one to keep boundaries.

I need to work hard for it

Not to her detriment. If you express once it's more than enough. You don't have to text a million times to express yourself. If she doesn't respond, either let her have her own space and time as much as she wants or if she is not interested then leave her be. It's her happiness which is important if you really love her. You're not sacrificing anything by giving her space. She is not even married to you and you're already talking about sacrifice. You didn't sacrifice anything. If you don't like her just leave her. If you like her, then learn to be patient. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't say that you love her and also not give her space. My ex was ridiculous. I broke up with him and even after 6 months post breakup he was still calling and texting me. Like he doesn't know that I have broken up ? I mean seriously just get realistic, don't play games. If she has given you a signal that she doesn't like you, move on. By constantly asserting yourself in the relationship, you are only creating more vaccum not love.

She is not hurting you in any way. She is just minding her own business. You are on the other hand being extremely needy like to a hundred million times needy. This will easily drive her away a million miles away because extreme neediness stinks like rotten eggs. You're being manipulative in your relationship. You say that you want to give her infinite freedom but in reality you want to control her every bit. A time will come when she will be totally fed up and frustrated and just never talk to you again. This happened to me with my needy second ex boyfriend. He was very needy and he used to send me text after text. I assumed it was his need to feel loved but soon I began to realise that it's really not neediness but total control guised as neediness. I finally gave up and broke up with him and never called or texted him again ever. It was just too much. He was calling me and texting me even when I was calling my bank for something urgent . It's not love..you confuse it as love. Love means caring for that person which means caring for their needs. And if you cannot love her then stop thinking that you have to act needy. Ask yourself the question, "does she need my neediness?" The answer is obviously no. Whatever you're doing is coming from your selfishness and selfishness in a relationship is like a heap of garbage that nobody wants to deal with.

I got purpledip

Don't let your childhood impact your worldview. Women or men are not bad, nobody really is. It's only a few bad experiences that make us feel that way. There are many wonderful people in this world, both men and women. I feel like what I am getting from your post is not so much about a particular woman because you haven't described a particular relationship which means you could have intimacy issues with women, you haven't gotten that close to a woman where you feel like you really know her well. Till then everything is just your perception. Not being able to be intimate with the opposite sex is not a woman's fault. Try socializing more and fall in love. Don't hold yourself back out of fear or rejection. A woman doesn't come to you on her own. You have to put that effort Good luck

I have decided to devote my love to plants and animals. They deserve more love than anyone.

@Raptorsin7 thank you for the support. It means a lot

You are right about that. Maybe certain events are just a huge learning lesson for the future. The toxic relationships I had gave me depression and health issues. I tried escaping many times but I couldn't because of emotional dependency. But I'm finally seeking help. I'm trying to sort things.

I want to discuss about emotional immunity It takes time to develop emotional immunity in a relationship

I will remember this entire last 3 months as the worst time in my life forever I will never forgive myself for my foolishness

Survival mode living is the worst kind of living because it makes you do anything for survival. Judgement is always unfair. I'm going to focus on organic living and spiritual living and divine living and holism This is going to be my focus and criteria.