Preety_India

Matching elements Condition Situation Event Person Yourself Your choice Your decision The system you are living in Your role Your actions Occupation Food Relationship Different elements of life

I have suffered a lot of stress in my life. I have developed a new concept that I'm going to implement called the formal pledge twice a day One is the subconscious pledge and the other is the marching pledge..

Just because someone has it doesn't mean that they will give it

Finally I will get freedom

I have suffered so much in life emotionally. But finally I am getting there. Towards emotional freedom. I have realized that emotional freedom is one of the greatest and most valuable possessions of a person in life.

Women need both experience and education on relationships

In one hand there is love In one hand there is war Community role is absolutely important I'm learning so much. And so much has changed since 2017. I have grown. The most important emotional lesson I learned is how much a person's energy can impact one's life. So be careful who you allow into your life. They might create heaven or hell. Well a huge chapter of my life is indeed over and done last November and I'm moving on. It took a hell lot of energy to come out of it. But late than never. I finally came late but came safe. I guess I had to come full circle. Some part of it I do regret especially the part of how badly I neglected myself. But there is a good part I'm grateful for. The good part is the exhaustive learning and maturity. I have taken a lot of that.. I have taken in so much learned so much. Gosh. Huge change. Hehe. Now I know things I never knew. The latest things I wrote about role are so wonderful. Roles create a structure in life.

I'm feeling slightly better. It's Sunday here

Today my feet are hurting like hell. But there is good news. Within hours there is a lantern event. I can buy some fancy lanterns. Yay. Something to make me happy today after a depressing start in the morning. I did a lot of physical work yesterday. My friend needed help for moving stuff from her old place to her new house. So I had to help her with that. I was carrying so much for hours and hours that my feet are hurting like crazy. I kept walking to and fro more than a hundred times Still I need to move some heavy furniture next week. And I'm going to have to call the movers packers guys. But it's going to be tough physically because last night I suffered dysentery. I didn't have any food and I was feeling exhausted... Hopefully next week will be good news for me.. If I get to move out it will be so good for me. I might want to move in with the girl I'm helping. But she has already given word to another girl. So maybe it won't work out. I wish I could get new caring amazing people in my life. And a decent way to live. I just want to feel peaceful and happy and with my family that's not possible. I pray to God for a favor and a blessing.

I don't appreciate comments on my journal. Sorry I don't need kind words.

I'm praying for a high quality man to be my spouse/ partner in the future. God please bring a good man in my life, a wonderful wholesome funny respectful man who I can trust blindly.

God please help me in this time of trouble. I hope everything goes okay today. I'm really facing a test. It's a huge challenge. I will never trust my family again. I have to find my own path. I am just too fed up and too scared. And somehow I will need urgent help to get out of this quagmire I'm stuck in. I need to do something quick within the next 2 months or else it's going to be hell. God I pray to get me out of this.

The only way out of this is to be physically fit

Coming to the last part Community role A model community - Epthin Community should be very supportive and resourceful. Family role A model family - Odys Family should be very supportive and resourceful and helpful.

The roles Rebel Defender Instigator Exploiter/chaser/parasite /consumer Epthinus Odinyus

Power deck or del diablo Card 1 - toxic Card 2 - evil Card 3 - stupid Card 4 - low conscious Card 5 - unproductive Card 6 - shallow/pretentious Card 7 - narcissistic Card 8 - Ungodly /Aspiritual Card 9 - non gender role /abnormal Card 10 - inhibiting Card 11 - unpleasant Card 12 - eliminating /deharmonizing Card 14 - weak /insecure Card 15 - discouraging /destructive

Star deck Card 1 - curative Card 2 - good Card 3 - wise Card 4 - high conscious Card 5 - productive Card 6 - genuine Card 7 - empathetic Card 8 - Godly/divine /spiritual Card 9 - gender role/normal Card 10 - survival Card 11 - pleasant Card 12 - accommodating /Harmonizing Card 14 - resilient{brave} /strong Card 15 - the egg /stimulating

Star deck Card 1 - curative Card 2 - good Card 3 - wise Card 4 - high conscious Card 5 - productive Card 6 - genuine Card 7 - empathetic Card 8 - Godly/divine /spiritual Card 9 - gender role/normal Card 10 - survival Card 11 - pleasant Card 12 - accommodating /Harmonizing Card 14 - resilient (brave) /strong Card 15 - The egg /stimulating Power deck Card 1 - toxic Card 2 - evil Card 3 - stupid Card 4 - low conscious Card 5 - unproductive Card 6 - shallow/pretentious Card 7 - narcissistic Card 8 - Ungodly /Aspiritual Card 9 - non gender role /abnormal Card 10 - inhibiting Card 11 - unpleasant Card 12 - eliminating /deharmonizing Card 14 - weak /insecure Card 15 - discouraging /destructive The star deck The power deck

Curative versus toxic.. The curative is the quality that benefits life.. Life giving. Whereas the toxic is something that destroys. So what is the difference between good and evil and what relation does it have to toxic and curative. Actually these are like parts of the same tree. They are not necessarily mirror images of each other.. They are just complementary to each other. For example bad character is most likely going to be toxic to most people. The only difference is that toxic is very visible and immediate like a fast poison whereas bad character is harmful but slowly. But eventually harmful. So they are like cards of the same deck. So if I have to classify these I will have 2 decks side by side. One deck is the Star deck. And the other is the power deck because I believe evil is all about gaining power. Star deck Card 1 - curative Card 2 - good Card 3 - wise Card 4 - high conscious Card 5 - productive Card 6 - genuine Card 7 - empathetic Card 8 - Godly/divine /spiritual Card 9 - gender role/normal Card 10 - survival Card 11 - pleasant Card 12 - accommodating /Harmonizing Card 14 - resilient (brave) /strong Card 15 - The egg /stimulating Power deck Card 1 - toxic Card 2 - evil Card 3 - stupid Card 4 - low conscious Card 5 - unproductive Card 6 - shallow/pretentious Card 7 - narcissistic Card 8 - Ungodly /Aspiritual Card 9 - non gender role /abnormal Card 10 - inhibiting Card 11 - unpleasant Card 12 - eliminating /deharmonizing Card 14 - weak /insecure Card 15 - discouraging /destructive Just like in a classroom a person who does not obey the rules of the teacher is more likely to be a sociopathic student. Same way Among two people who are fighting, there has to be one who is the instigator of the fight. So when a line is drawn between the fighters and rules are made, the instigator is the one who will flout the rules most of the time. Thus rules exist for a reason and so do roles. When you see the person not doing those roles or following rules you know that the person is not right However sjws and liberals want a society with no rules. That's like saying a classroom with no rules. And then sociopaths will run riot. That's why rules are important. Because they help us identify the culprit the instigator the problematic the bad guy, the bad person the harmful one. Anyone who uses the star deck will always be fruitful, happy and Flourishing in life.. Anyone who uses the power deck will create suffering and bring misery and problems and create destruction. Sentiment versus ability Even if you don't have the ability to get something done you should at least have the sentiment of the Godhead. That's more than enough. Because with the correct belief system you will also find or acquire eventually the ability to execute those beliefs. Can you ask the question, "why can't I breach human rights?" Because then you become a criminal The same way. You have to follow or be in the ambit of the rule zone or the role zone or else you turn into an instigator voluntarily or involuntarily. Now of course there are instances where a person breaches traffic rules but they didn't do it in order to cause distress to others. They just happen to do it with no intention and they will never hurt anyone and will continue in a harmless way and want to not be bothered by any rules and just want a customized setting where they are not following rules but at the same time they just want peace and continue living happily and not cause to anyone.. This means they have good intentions, it's only that they can't be a good fit. No problem at all. Although they won't be contributing in a meaningful way, they can still be accommodated by a good system because empathy is the ultimate rule. So by the law of empathy everything needs to be made room for, everything needs to be accommodated. Such people are dissenters but they are not wrongful. They can be called rebels. The ones who actively flout the rules and roles are certainly not as innocent as rebels..these are instigators. They should be called instigators..that is they are problem creators. Now coming to the ones who actually do obey these rules but use it to their advantage and privilege rather than understanding that they are simply doing an obligation. If a boss pays you for the job but acts like he is doing a favor on you for paying you, then he is not a good boss. Because he is not doing a favor but a duty. He has to pay.. So the ones who feed on their role rather than understanding that it's their grace and blessing are like dominators and abusers like the ones who misuse power. They are parasites. They are not realizing that they only have a role and their job is to only do that and not feast on the privilege. Nor gloat about it or use it to their advantage or to the detriment of others. They are pursuant or chasers if their real goal was not to fulfill a role but to acquire a position of power. Let's give an example to understand the whole idea of a parasite or chaser better. We want good doctors who are compassionate and who can do their duties well. Now a good person who wants to be a doctor to help others and cure them. But as time progresses these doctors get honored by society and are trusted and loved by people. They are looked at as important people because of the role they perform.. Now come the chasers. Some people grasp the importance of being a doctor and so they want to become a doctor not to help people but because they want to enjoy the honor of being a doctor. They no longer see it as a role to be fulfilled but they see it as a position to be achieved to get that privilege as an ego stroke. These are chasers because ultimately they will flout and not even carry the role in fact eventually they will destroy the sanctity of the role since their intention doesn't fit the role and its outcome. Their job was to reduce suffering by being in the role. But them being in that role has actually increased the suffering. In short these are not needed since they are only parasites looking for a way to feed on their ability to pursue a role. They are parasites looking for a way to feed on their privileged status. They are narcissistic chasers not role performers. They will also cause destruction not right away but eventually by using their role as a means for power and privilege. For example a mothers role is to raise good kids for a good future. But she will use this privilege to raise children that will bring her more power in the future. She will teach them ways to bring destruction. She has obviously done the role of being a mother of giving birth or procreation but not with selfless intent but with the intent to give her more power. To create trouble. She will teach her kids how to hog power. How to acquire what will make them more powerful. She will teach them to become narcissistic and selfish. She hasn't performed the role with the righteous objective or purpose but with the intent of acquisition and use. This is a selfish intent. Like a doctor will change the nature of his role to suit his power needs better, a mother/wife or husband /father will change the rules of their roles to suit their needs better. They will corrupt the role. A man will become a father to have success in his business and help with his empire building. A woman will become a mother to acquire wealth and status and blackmail the spouse for child support. Create a dysfunctional environment for the kids by divorcing the father. She will harass the child that doesn't meet her goals. She will become a pushy mother who either wants her children out as soon as possible just to get rid of them or she wants them to do whatever she wants and needs so they are always fulfilling her demands like slaves. Or she will marry a man only for his money. And thus want to get rid of him when he no longer suits her purpose or when she finds a better opportunity. She will use the man for her needs and Discard him like trash when he no longer fits her bill. She will use marriage and motherhood as a crutch. As a way to get what she wants. She will create a family not out of love and happiness but out of survival needs. She will steer her children to become go getters, to even do corrupt things to get money and power and success. She will only focus on survival and comfort and teach her kids to fulfill these goals because the empire needs to be built, secure system needs to be built on wealth so she can always hold the cards for a privileged future. When her children will exploit the society for their needs they will not become leaders and caregivers or healers or enrichers but they will become exploiters and benefiter just like the fake doctor example and thus they will become destructive and a nuisance in society. They will just be another liability for the society to accommodate, a useless appendage that needs to be supported since it's a part of the system. They will only hold a position for its privilege thus creating a system of vacuum and fake glory or show. A false display of achievement and success. They will create a miserable system of degradation and misery. A defunct building that is well furnished, looks good on the outside but hollow in the inside and nobody getting any benefit and a namesake symbol of achievement with no real achievement. "we have a house with a stove and an oven and a gym. But nothing actually works. Okay?" They will hold a position or role only for its privileges and become consumers and benefiter. They will use and consume everything for their own needs and benefit. They will not become leaders or dispensers or providers but parasitic consumers of positions and resources. They will also sabotage those who actually want to do some good with honest intentions, who really want to achieve, who want to be good leaders and want to be providers. But they will be sabotaged out of spite and greed and the need to win in the hunger race for power and dominance. For ego. Thus even the good ones will be sabotaged and destroyed by the consumers and exploiters. So we have the chasers, consumers, exploiters, dominators, users, parasites. She will use a man as a meal ticket or a service provider. She will press the boyfriend button when she needs something. A man will use a woman as a trophy for his ego instead of loving her. And when she no longer looks like a trophy he will dislike her and want her out. A father will use his abilities not to protect but to attack someone who is defenseless. Not to Empower but to dominate and oppress. Thus when people will fail to realize the real objective behind a role they will misuse and abuse that role as a position of privilege and power and consumption. They will have selfish objectives.. Such people can be called consumers and chasers. Thus we now have Rebels Instigators Consumers/chasers So what about those who perform these roles with real honest and selfless objectives. What to call them? They are the samurai. They are warriors the defenders the creators the true leaders. They can be called true leaders/defenders. They bring hope compassion and empathy and alleviate suffering. They have great spiritual powers.

Except Epthinus and Odinyus all other forms of gender roles are destructive

Epthinus is very inspiring to me She is generous and gentle

Lordfall has given some excellent perspectives here. I'm more on the same line of thinking. This is a very deep issue and has multiple sides to it that need to be considered. One side is genuine whereas the other sides are not always what you think they are. So you will need to take into account a lot of factors while looking at the whole victim society relationship. So i will try to break it down slowly one by one and this is going to be long so bear with me. First of all. 1...Society hates victims. This is a fact! Ask anyone. There is a terrible lack in generosity and compassion. People do not like to be compassionate to others. Compassion is a wonderful virtue yet it somehow goes against the grain of humanity. If you asked someone for money most likely they are going to say no because most people think of their survival first. Since we are continously competing with each other for resources it's difficult to expect people to be compassionate to each other. They are going to be selfish for their own survival, not saying that is is justified or morally sound, but as humans they will do what their animal nature will guide them to do especially in a competitive environment. There are people who are compassionate and selfless. But very few. 2.. Society is Capitalistic and Narcissistic Our society especially modern society is very much drenched in capitalism. Which means everything is based on factors like market, demand, supply, loss, gain, utility, ability etc. Move to any city and you will experience this. Life gets tighter and tougher. Living gets harder.. Earning gets harder. In such a society, like lordfall said, you are expected to create your own success or be ready to be called a loser. You have to make your own building and livelihood. People marvel and praise those who achieve success in such a society. They want you to pull yourself by the bootstrap and stop complaining and resolve your issues and find success. Then they are proud of you. Because this is their basic expectation. They want you to make a good example out of yourself and prove yourself. They want you to show what you can do. It's competitive. So if you can't do it, they won't bother to look at you or befriend you. They have the winner mentality and they also want you to have the winner mentality. And if you don't have that then they want to drop you from their life. This is a capitalist mentality and not an Empathetic mentality. Notice how an empath and a capitalist talk If you are an employee, you can have either an Empathetic boss/leader or a capitalist boss/leader. Now if you fail at your work, you'll see a difference in how each one of them will respond to you A capitalist boss will say to you "you are no good for me. You will cause me a loss. You are not good for by business. I need to rethink about you. You're being fired!!" An Empathetic boss will say "yes it happens. No problem. I can give you another chance. I want you to do well. I'll help you out. We are like family. If you have any difficulty, we will see what we can do. Nothing to worry. You'll do better with time. No stress." Sadly we live in a capitalist society and therefore most people look at a victim as a liability. They think a victim is a problem rather than thinking that the victim has a problem. So if you are a victim a capitalist society will look at you and say. "you don't have a problem. But you are the problem." Such a society will hate you and want to get rid of you. You/victim is a liability in their eyes. The problem of narcissism. Narcissistic people place value on people based on their social status. This is how they are. So if a person is a victim and suffering a narcissist is most likely going to shun the victim or show hatred and contempt to victims. Modern society is full of capitalists and narcissists. 3... False victimhood. Now there are both true victims and false victims. True victims are those who have really suffered either physically or mentally but they have actually suffered. They will show signs of degradation or damage and suffering. They can be victims of crime, abuse, neglect, coercion, bullying, torment, violence, injustice and or disability or disaster. False victims are those who use victimhood as a way to get what they want and they exploit the victim status and they are not victims. Example of a false victim is let's say there are disaster or accident victims getting benefit from the government. A manipulative cunning person sees this as an opportunity and then declares himself as a victim even when he is not and uses this status to claim the benefit from the government. Because of this behavior true victims do not get the benefit or nobody wants to believe that they are victims and they are also looked at with suspicion. True victims suffer as a result of false victims making claims to help themselves. Victim mentality. This is different than being a real victim. Some people are not victims yet they falsely perceive themselves as victims. They always believe that they cannot be strong. They think they are weak. They are always very negative about everything. They always want to show pity to others and themselves. They expect pity. They live on pity. They live in pity. This is victim mentality. These are not necessarily exploitative people, they could be doing this because of PTSD, or they have an inherent personality disorder because of which they harbor this mentality. When is victim mentality dangerous? Let's say you live across the street from a neighbor who constantly whines about every little thing You are constantly on your guard and you have to be very careful not to offend her in any way. Now let's say she had a minor argument with you over a mattress that you threw out in the dumpster and she is making a big deal out of it. You have a dog and it's a good dog yet she constantly keeps complaining about how your dog is biting her kids even when it's not. Now you tell her that nothing is going to change and this angers her and she decides to call the police. When the police comes she tells false made up stories about you and the dog and want you to be locked up. When you try to justify yourself she cries rape and tells the police that you tried to hurt her physically. The police wants to arrest you. She even goes as far as inflicting injuries on her body to make her story believable. This is a classic example of a person living in victim mentality and how this can be downright dangerous to another person's life. One of the reasons why society hates people who are victims is because they fear that these people could either be false victims or people with victim mentality syndrome. Victim mentality is a distinct part of many personality disorders in the DSM lV. Many people with borderline personality disorder exhibit victim mentality as a characteristic manifestation of the disorder. An easy way of detecting this behavior and separate a genuine victim from a person with victim mentality is to wait till they respond. If a person exaggerates and pretends that you did something wrong to them even when you didn't do anything to them, you are likely dealing with a person with victim mentality. Victim hood and victim mentality. These are two different things. Victimhood is a state of being a victim. Victims are justifiably entitled to their Victimhood. Whereas victim mentality is a behavior displayed where a person perceives a particular situation as victimizing even when he was not being targeted. An example of this is sjw behavior.. An sjw can take anything and play victim. For example if a person is wearing a pink hat on the university campus an sjw can say something like "don't wear that hat because it is hurtful to my sentiments since I consider pink as my sacred color", in this example the person wearing the hat had no intention to hurt the sjw yet he had to pretend like he was hurt or targeted. People with victim mentality are not real sufferers of bullying but perceiving themselves as sufferers of bullying. That's very different from actual bullying. Victim mentality in a real victim Sometimes real victims suffer deeper forms of PTSD for years. This type of stress causes them to get locked in victim mentality mode. Now they can't be blamed. This is not an inherent personality disorder but an acquired or learned behavior that comes from years of abuse and inability to understand or cope. Such people can continue seeing themselves as victims long after the trauma or abuse has ended. They can mimic the behavior of false victims because they have lived as victims for a very long time and therefore gotten used to it. They cannot shake themselves out of it.. They begin to see themselves as victims in almost every situation and thus can exhibit paranoid behavior over time. It's an extension of their ptsd. This is observed in a subset of real victims. The usage and the meaning of the word weak in the English language. The word weak is a very sensitive word with multiple meanings and connotations. It depends on how it is used. It's meaning will vary with context. Weak can have 2 distinctly separate meanings. Weak = emotionally/physically weak, incapable Weak = ill, a temporary loss of physical stamina due to cold or illness Weak = coward, unwilling, irresponsible, pathetic, loser. The first two are recognized as genuine forms of debility and weakness. The last is a presumed weakness. Which means the person is insecure and irresponsible and does not show the bravery needed to get something done. When is a person pathetic When a person runs away from responsibility and blames others as an escape mechanism, such a person is being pathetic. An example of this is as follows. A drug addict unemployed husband is living with his wife and kids. The wife is exhausted doing all the tasks. The husband is watching TV and smoking his drugs. He just sits all day and does nothing. The kid falls sick. Now the wife is exhausted and unable to take the kid to the doctor so she tells the husband to do it. The husband makes a bunch of excuses and finally decides to take the kid to the doctor. However he doesn't find his wallet or car keys and blames it on the wife. He forgets to make an appointment with the doctor and blames that on his wife too. This is an example of a weak insecure guy who instead of owning his responsibility in the marriage, tries to blame everything on the wife because he doesn't want to feel guilty. Such men(or women) don't want to take responsibility and actually solve an issue. Rather they go in circles during an argument and only find ways to blame the partner rather than solve the problem. This is an example of a person who is weak and uses his weakness as a way of deflecting blame. Such people ruin relationships and life goals. That's why they are called pathetic and losers. Because you can't get anything done with them. Arguing with them leads nowhere because they never accept their duties, roles, responsibilities and find ways to blame as an escape route. In short they are not victims but losers Whiny behavior This is a part of the victim mentality complex. One has to be extremely careful while pointing this out. Not everyone is whiny. The word is thrown around very casually. Often times a real victim is called a whiner. Like it happened in my journal and someone called me whiny. A victim is not always a whiner. When can you say a person is a whiner. When they repeatedly talk about a problem even when it's over and done with long ago. Whiny behavior comes Do not confuse whining with therapy There is a thin line between whining and therapeutic use of expressing trouble. When a person is going through a hard time and using expression as a coping mechanism, be careful not to call them a whiner. Because it's personal therapy for them. They are not pissing and moaning. They are venting out their frustration. This not only helps with cooing with the problem and the release of blocked emotions but also with dealing with the situation and finding a way out of it. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing the problem and therefore venting out can be an effective way of understanding and recognizing the problem. So calling a person who is actually trying to cope, a whiner is nothing but being a judgemental asshole. So what is actual whining Real whining is when a person is just finding ways to create unnecessary stress. For example they are given the best conditions the best food or services and they still find a way to complain and nitpick about something. That's being a whiny bitch. Nothing ever is enough for them. Nothing satisfies them. There is always something that is not good enough for them. Not a day goes by without whining about irrelevant things. Whining for attention seeking Such people are drama queens. They are always on social media making posts on how they are suffering in life in order to seek attention. They don't solve a problem because they don't have a problem. They go around making posts after posts about an issue which they constantly bring up for seeking attention. They have a sympathy or attention seeking disorder. These are whining drama queens. This arises from the fact that society shows empathy or sympathy to victims and people who are suffering. This encourages whiners to go on whining in a bid to receive some amount of favor and attention from people. They feel better when people give them the attention they need and they will go to any lengths to get it.. True victims want support as well and therefore it's very difficult to separate a whiner from a true victim. One difference is that a true victim can elaborate details of an abuse situation or anything that victimized them. Whereas a whiner is usually happy and bouyant and is caught lying about their abuse or bad situation. the problem of reinforcement, and sympathy. Society has the tendency to show empathy and support to victims. However this serves as positive reinforcement for attention seeking victim playing people. They take it as positive encouragement to continue with their victim mentality to seek attention and a false sense of comfort. They love the title of being called victim and they talk about it and bank on it for the rest of their lives. It becomes a way of living. A toxic way of living. Judgemental behavior. Victim blaming and victim shaming This is an absolute nightmare. This happens when ignorant or unempathetic people blame a victim for their situation or shame them. Make them feel guilty or wrong for being a victim. Make them feel like it was their fault. If a parent blames a child for their illness or disabilities then that's a classic case of victim blaming and shaming.. Narcissistic abuse of victims. When you are a true victim and when you are trying to get support for your cause or benefit but your friend or spouse is judging or shaming you for being a victim by blaming you or calling you a whiner or showing contempt for your victimhood instead of offering support it's because they are being emotionally abusive, a characteristic behavior observed in narcissistic abusive relationships. They feel insecure and do not want to be there for you. They don't want to spend their energy in supporting you so they find a way to blame you because they don't want to help you, to escape the fear and guilt of not helping you and to still look good, they find ways to blame you for your victimhood so that they are freed from their responsibility of helping you. This is narcissistic abuse and shaming of a victim. Victimization Victimization is a process of isolating a person and treating them unfairly in comparison to others to make them feel bad about themselves. The person who is victimizing is doing this discrimination on purpose to drive home the message that "you're hated or you're the only one who deserves to be treated this way. You are unwanted or unwelcome." this is a distinct form of emotional abuse called victimization. It results in discrimination and unfair treatment resulting into the person feeling like a victim of systematic oppression and injustice.

Lordfall has given some excellent perspectives here. I'm more on the same line of thinking. This is a very deep issue and has multiple sides to it that need to be considered. One side is genuine whereas the other sides are not always what you think they are. So you will need to take into account a lot of factors while looking at the whole victim society relationship. So i will try to break it down slowly one by one and this is going to be long so bear with me. First of all. 1...Society hates victims. This is a fact! Ask anyone. There is a terrible lack in generosity and compassion. People do not like to be compassionate to others. Compassion is a wonderful virtue yet it somehow goes against the grain of humanity. If you asked someone for money most likely they are going to say no because most people think of their survival first. Since we are continously competing with each other for resources it's difficult to expect people to be compassionate to each other. They are going to be selfish for their own survival, not saying that is is justified or morally sound, but as humans they will do what their animal nature will guide them to do especially in a competitive environment. There are people who are compassionate and selfless. But very few. 2.. Society is Capitalistic and Narcissistic Our society especially modern society is very much drenched in capitalism. Which means everything is based on factors like market, demand, supply, loss, gain, utility, ability etc. Move to any city and you will experience this. Life gets tighter and tougher. Living gets harder.. Earning gets harder. In such a society, like lordfall said, you are expected to create your own success or be ready to be called a loser. You have to make your own building and livelihood. People marvel and praise those who achieve success in such a society. They want you to pull yourself by the bootstrap and stop complaining and resolve your issues and find success. Then they are proud of you. Because this is their basic expectation. They want you to make a good example out of yourself and prove yourself. They want you to show what you can do. It's competitive. So if you can't do it, they won't bother to look at you or befriend you. They have the winner mentality and they also want you to have the winner mentality. And if you don't have that then they want to drop you from their life. This is a capitalist mentality and not an Empathetic mentality. Notice how an empath and a capitalist talk If you are an employee, you can have either an Empathetic boss/leader or a capitalist boss/leader. Now if you fail at your work, you'll see a difference in how each one of them will respond to you A capitalist boss will say to you "you are no good for me. You will cause me a loss. You are not good for by business. I need to rethink about you. You're being fired!!" An Empathetic boss will say "yes it happens. No problem. I can give you another chance. I want you to do well. I'll help you out. We are like family. If you have any difficulty, we will see what we can do. Nothing to worry. You'll do better with time. No stress." Sadly we live in a capitalist society and therefore most people look at a victim as a liability. They think a victim is a problem rather than thinking that the victim has a problem. So if you are a victim a capitalist society will look at you and say. "you don't have a problem. But you are the problem." Such a society will hate you and want to get rid of you. You/victim is a liability in their eyes. The problem of narcissism. Narcissistic people place value on people based on their social status. This is how they are. So if a person is a victim and suffering a narcissist is most likely going to shun the victim or show hatred and contempt to victims. Modern society is full of capitalists and narcissists. 3... False victimhood. Now there are both true victims and false victims. True victims are those who have really suffered either physically or mentally but they have actually suffered. They will show signs of degradation or damage and suffering. They can be victims of crime, abuse, neglect, coercion, bullying, torment, violence, injustice and or disability or disaster. False victims are those who use victimhood as a way to get what they want and they exploit the victim status and they are not victims. Example of a false victim is let's say there are disaster or accident victims getting benefit from the government. A manipulative cunning person sees this as an opportunity and then declares himself as a victim even when he is not and uses this status to claim the benefit from the government. Because of this behavior true victims do not get the benefit or nobody wants to believe that they are victims and they are also looked at with suspicion. True victims suffer as a result of false victims making claims to help themselves. 4...Victim mentality. This is different than being a real victim. Some people are not victims yet they falsely perceive themselves as victims. They always believe that they cannot be strong. They think they are weak. They are always very negative about everything. They always want to show pity to others and themselves. They expect pity. They live on pity. They live in pity. This is victim mentality. These are not necessarily exploitative people, they could be doing this because of PTSD, or they have an inherent personality disorder because of which they harbor this mentality. When is victim mentality dangerous? Let's say you live across the street from a neighbor who constantly whines about every little thing You are constantly on your guard and you have to be very careful not to offend her in any way. Now let's say she had a minor argument with you over a mattress that you threw out in the dumpster and she is making a big deal out of it. You have a dog and it's a good dog yet she constantly keeps complaining about how your dog is biting her kids even when it's not. Now you tell her that nothing is going to change and this angers her and she decides to call the police. When the police comes she tells false made up stories about you and the dog and want you to be locked up. When you try to justify yourself she cries rape and tells the police that you tried to hurt her physically. The police wants to arrest you. She even goes as far as inflicting injuries on her body to make her story believable. This is a classic example of a person living in victim mentality and how this can be downright dangerous to another person's life. One of the reasons why society hates people who are victims is because they fear that these people could either be false victims or people with victim mentality syndrome. Victim mentality is a distinct part of many personality disorders in the DSM lV. Many people with borderline personality disorder exhibit victim mentality as a characteristic manifestation of the disorder. An easy way of detecting this behavior and separate a genuine victim from a person with victim mentality is to wait till they respond. If a person exaggerates and pretends that you did something wrong to them even when you didn't do anything to them, you are likely dealing with a person with victim mentality. 5...Victim hood and victim mentality. These are two different things. Victimhood is a state of being a victim. Victims are justifiably entitled to their Victimhood. Whereas victim mentality is a behavior displayed where a person perceives a particular situation as victimizing even when he was not being targeted. An example of this is sjw behavior.. An sjw can take anything and play victim. For example if a person is wearing a pink hat on the university campus an sjw can say something like "don't wear that hat because it is hurtful to my sentiments since I consider pink as my sacred color", in this example the person wearing the hat had no intention to hurt the sjw yet he had to pretend like he was hurt or targeted. People with victim mentality are not real sufferers of bullying but perceiving themselves as sufferers of bullying. That's very different from actual bullying. Victim mentality in a real victim Sometimes real victims suffer deeper forms of PTSD for years. This type of stress causes them to get locked in victim mentality mode. Now they can't be blamed. This is not an inherent personality disorder but an acquired or learned behavior that comes from years of abuse and inability to understand or cope. Such people can continue seeing themselves as victims long after the trauma or abuse has ended. They can mimic the behavior of false victims because they have lived as victims for a very long time and therefore gotten used to it. They cannot shake themselves out of it.. They begin to see themselves as victims in almost every situation and thus can exhibit paranoid behavior over time. It's an extension of their ptsd. This is observed in a subset of real victims. 6...The usage and the meaning of the word weak in the English language. The word weak is a very sensitive word with multiple meanings and connotations. It depends on how it is used. It's meaning will vary with context. Weak can have 2 distinctly separate meanings. Weak = emotionally/physically weak, incapable Weak = ill, a temporary loss of physical stamina due to cold or illness Weak = coward, unwilling, irresponsible, pathetic, loser. The first two are recognized as genuine forms of debility and weakness. The last is a presumed weakness. Which means the person is insecure and irresponsible and does not show the bravery needed to get something done. When is a person pathetic When a person runs away from responsibility and blames others as an escape mechanism, such a person is being pathetic. An example of this is as follows. A drug addict unemployed husband is living with his wife and kids. The wife is exhausted doing all the tasks. The husband is watching TV and smoking his drugs. He just sits all day and does nothing. The kid falls sick. Now the wife is exhausted and unable to take the kid to the doctor so she tells the husband to do it. The husband makes a bunch of excuses and finally decides to take the kid to the doctor. However he doesn't find his wallet or car keys and blames it on the wife. He forgets to make an appointment with the doctor and blames that on his wife too. This is an example of a weak insecure guy who instead of owning his responsibility in the marriage, tries to blame everything on the wife because he doesn't want to feel guilty. Such men(or women) don't want to take responsibility and actually solve an issue. Rather they go in circles during an argument and only find ways to blame the partner rather than solve the problem. This is an example of a person who is weak and uses his weakness as a way of deflecting blame. Such people ruin relationships and life goals. That's why they are called pathetic and losers. Because you can't get anything done with them. Arguing with them leads nowhere because they never accept their duties, roles, responsibilities and find ways to blame as an escape route. In short they are not victims but losers 7..Whiny behavior This is a part of the victim mentality complex. One has to be extremely careful while pointing this out. Not everyone is whiny. The word is thrown around very casually. Often times a real victim is called a whiner. Like it happened in my journal and someone called me whiny. A victim is not always a whiner. When can you say a person is a whiner. When they repeatedly talk about a problem even when it's over and done with long ago. Whiny behavior comes Do not confuse whining with therapy There is a thin line between whining and therapeutic use of expressing trouble. When a person is going through a hard time and using expression as a coping mechanism, be careful not to call them a whiner. Because it's personal therapy for them. They are not pissing and moaning. They are venting out their frustration. This not only helps with cooing with the problem and the release of blocked emotions but also with dealing with the situation and finding a way out of it. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing the problem and therefore venting out can be an effective way of understanding and recognizing the problem. So calling a person who is actually trying to cope, a whiner is nothing but being a judgemental asshole. So what is actual whining Real whining is when a person is just finding ways to create unnecessary stress. For example they are given the best conditions the best food or services and they still find a way to complain and nitpick about something. That's being a whiny bitch. Nothing ever is enough for them. Nothing satisfies them. There is always something that is not good enough for them. Not a day goes by without whining about irrelevant things. Whining for attention seeking Such people are drama queens. They are always on social media making posts on how they are suffering in life in order to seek attention. They don't solve a problem because they don't have a problem. They go around making posts after posts about an issue which they constantly bring up for seeking attention. They have a sympathy or attention seeking disorder. These are whining drama queens. This arises from the fact that society shows empathy or sympathy to victims and people who are suffering. This encourages whiners to go on whining in a bid to receive some amount of favor and attention from people. They feel better when people give them the attention they need and they will go to any lengths to get it.. True victims want support as well and therefore it's very difficult to separate a whiner from a true victim. One difference is that a true victim can elaborate details of an abuse situation or anything that victimized them. Whereas a whiner is usually happy and bouyant and is caught lying about their abuse or bad situation. the problem of reinforcement, and sympathy. Society has the tendency to show empathy and support to victims. However this serves as positive reinforcement for attention seeking victim playing people. They take it as positive encouragement to continue with their victim mentality to seek attention and a false sense of comfort. They love the title of being called victim and they talk about it and bank on it for the rest of their lives. It becomes a way of living. A toxic way of living. 8...Judgemental behavior. Victim blaming and victim shaming This is an absolute nightmare. This happens when ignorant or unempathetic people blame a victim for their situation or shame them. Make them feel guilty or wrong for being a victim. Make them feel like it was their fault. If a parent blames a child for their illness or disabilities then that's a classic case of victim blaming and shaming.. Narcissistic abuse of victims. When you are a true victim and when you are trying to get support for your cause or benefit but your friend or spouse is judging or shaming you for being a victim by blaming you or calling you a whiner or showing contempt for your victimhood instead of offering support it's because they are being emotionally abusive, a characteristic behavior observed in narcissistic abusive relationships. They feel insecure and do not want to be there for you. They don't want to spend their energy in supporting you so they find a way to blame you because they don't want to help you, to escape the fear and guilt of not helping you and to still look good, they find ways to blame you for your victimhood so that they are freed from their responsibility of helping you. This is narcissistic abuse and shaming of a victim. 9...Victimization Victimization is a process of isolating a person and treating them unfairly in comparison to others to make them feel bad about themselves. The person who is victimizing is doing this discrimination on purpose to drive home the message that "you're hated or you're the only one who deserves to be treated this way. You are unwanted or unwelcome." this is a distinct form of emotional abuse called victimization. It results in discrimination and unfair treatment resulting into the person feeling like a victim of systematic oppression and injustice.

That towpn thing is just for entertainment. After the shifting process is over I will stop talking to him completely. I don't want him anymore at all..