Preety_India

Oh God please don't punish me so badly If I had any inkling. For the whole month of February I suffered and battled Covid. Then it was March. My mood wasn't good. My ex Joseph had messaged me again through another account and said awful shit to me. I had blocked him. He keeps making new accounts to torture me That day was a bad day. It was March 16. I had fallen a flight of stairs the week before breaking both my legs. Now I'm unable to walk and healing will take a long time. These things were going on in my mind. I was incredibly frustrated And in that moment I was pissy and angry I got angry and frustrated and I blurted out and called him an asshole I'm ashamed of myself now. I was bitter and angry in that moment. I acted disrespectful Because that moment reminded me of all the bad things that happened to me before.

I'm so ashamed of myself If I had any inkling that you would leave. If I had any inkling...... Only if.

I Hope you are taking good care of yourself even without me. Because that's what I would want. I always hope the best for everyone. I don't want anything to do with this world.

I tried to be sweet. My trauma caused me to become an angry insecure person I tried to change.

I acted mean. I acted bad I acted shallow I acted clumsy I acted angry and hateful God only knows what moment that was that the devil got into me.

I don't want anything anymore

I don't want anything anymore. I'm dead.

Anyway I will always try to be as supportive as possible.

I love you and i miss you Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel I wish you had given me just one chance Marcel Please Please Please Please just give me one chance

I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife I'll always wait for you Marcel, your wife

And you struggled and you struggled But what's the point?

And you struggled and you struggled But what's the point?

I feel like my brain is exploding. I can't take it anymore.

No nothing is going to change that. Nothing is going to change that.

Because you don't tell me the truth. You lie to me Then how should I cope? Why didn't I just die in some deep hole under the sea?

You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge You have no right to judge

@BlueOak That's a beautiful solace

I'll have my own way of developing my femininity.

I'm just not in a proper mental state I feel destabilized.