Preety_India

Socializing has less to do with looks and more to do with personality. Don't try to please people because that never works. Only be with those who accept you for who you are. If someone doesn't get along with you, let them go. They are not the best for you. When someone likes you they will be with you. So if someone is not interested you can't win them over. When it comes to socializing and making friends, the thumb rule is like attracts like. You will attract people who are in the same boat and think like you and appreciate your thinking. Be with people who resonate with your vibe. Appreciation is key. Being around people who don't appreciate you is always going to make you feel ignored. You be yourself. But it's important to be likable if not desirable. And likable means qualities like frankness, politeness, charisma, humorous, respectful, gentle, kind, sweet, empathetic, most people are going to like a person with such qualities but you will need to cultivate them to become a better version of yourself. Also always be positive so if someone isn't great at first, don't give up easily, be your best self for the second and the third try, if they still ignore then let it go and try others. Don't get defensive right away if someone isn't showing interest, being defensive puts people off. The whole socializing thing needs tremendous patience, emotional intelligence, tact and constant learning of people behavior and human nature. So it's going to be stressful obviously. To get one good apple, you'll need to try a thousand bad ones. That's how it works. It's a long arduous process. Looks can only go so far. The real deal is the personality. And lastly self worth. Whether you succeed or fail at socializing, it's really not an indicator of whether you are good or bad, beautiful or ugly or worthy or unworthy. These are just labels designed by human society and you shouldn't allow it to impact your self worth. Try to be more rational about it rather than emotional.

Be funny, frank, open, gentle and kind. If a person doesn't like you being kind to them, they are not worth your time.

Wish I get that lucky!

Just forget it. Focus on other stuff and do and watch stuff on YouTube in free time. Try to be relaxed. Take it easy.

So the good news has finally come in. A colleague of mine informed me just now that it's only 23 hours more till the end of the event. Which means tomorrow. That's some relaxing news. I can focus on other things in the meantime.

You're absolutely right. I'm glad you have such a great marriage of 25 years. Rock on. Have a wonderful day!

I feel like I'm juggling so many things at once. Camping, events, exes and relationships, family issues, financial investments, I do forex trading, cooking and cleaning at home, seminars and courses, my art course, looks like my plate is full. Yesterday I was just too tired. I collapsed in my bed. Had no energy to clean my room. Sometimes it feels good to have a full plate and I'm slowly getting used to this lifestyle because it removes intrusive thoughts about my childhood and relationships. Two years ago this lifestyle would have overwhelmed me and burned me out because I would have felt anxious doing more work everyday. Today this lifestyle makes me feel full. If my feet get tired, I feel exhausted but unusually I feel very calm and content like I did something, it's a great escape from the emptiness and depression I suffered 2 years ago. I think sometimes distraction and work serves a good purpose in removing the emptiness and chaos of life. Part of this is because of Cindy. I look up to her. She is a busy mom of 2 kids and works really hard every day. That inspired me. If she can then I can too. She finds satisfaction in being a mom. Seeing her over the past 1 year made me want to work harder and not shy away from work or think that work is bad or uncomfortable. In fact now I tend to seek more comfort in work than other hobbies. Maybe I might get workaholic but immersing myself in work is far better than immersing myself in reckless relationships and all the melodrama. I have expanded my comfort zone when it comes to work and now attending events is no longer painful or disdainful but a sense of achievement, relief and satisfaction.

Need to wait another 1 hour till they tell me the time the event will be over with. I need to rush for another appointment. I'll be attending a seminar on financial consulting. This event was like 6 days God really long. It's a catering course event. Awesome. But they stretched it too far. I was helping with making so many dishes. Feet - tired Very exhausting. We will be going to another camping event next month. For a corporate dinner and event..

If anything is good or bad, it is only so when the intention behind it is nefarious. Till then it's all just moralistic bullshit. However true love is not just about sex but much more so I would be glad to know that you enjoy each other's company and love during the time you guys are not engaged in sex. It's only that most people who are into that sort of a lifestyle like porn, nudity, swingers lifestyle aren't into it with the most innocent intentions but for gratification, greed and money. And usually those relationships and lifestyles don't end well. So I wouldn't want to be involved in that kind of a lifestyle unless I can completely trust the other person. But when people follow any lifestyle with innocent intent and without greed or lust for money or selfishness/disregard then anything is absolutely fine. People are not to be blamed for their perceptions towards certain things. They say it out of observation, experience and sometimes out of ignorance. The important thing here is to do what you enjoy without caring for what others think..

Sandra will be at my birthday party. So I'm excited about that too. I'll call this Sandra month.

I'm waiting for this event to be done with. 2 days 2 days 2 days. So my feet can rest a bit.

Woke up with nightmares again. This time it was different. Not the ones I had before. It was so strange but frankly funny. Didn't feel like a nightmare. So here I was trying to exit a class we had. Like a lecture hall. And I was exiting through the door. And I saw stairs on the right but the entrance is blocked. You need to go around it and make it to the concrete slide around it. This looks like climbing a tree. I'm just puzzled. It really looks like a stone slide. So I try to climb it hoping to find an entrance at the top because I can see people calmly climbing the slide and making it through out of it and the other way whether they find the entrance to the stairs. And they exit the building that way, lots of people doing the same. But when I reach to the top of the slide, I'm filled with dread because I don't know whether I should peep into the narrow hole I see. Holes can be very tricky. I mean a narrow tunnel that goes winding inside. It can create a great deal of anxiety. You never know what's in there. Now the size of the hole doesn't matter. Let's say the hole is big enough for you to simply roll into it, would you? What if you fall into this tunnel and never get out. What if you can't get out. Now if the hole is small, really small like you can only stick your head into it. You wouldn't even want to stick your head into it because your head might get stuck and you might suffocate to death. If you put your arm into it, your arm could get stuck. Right now(in the dream) I'm looking at this tunnel hole anxiously. I can't figure out how big this is. Will my body get stuck in it because it sure does look like that and even if I manage to wiggle through it, what if there's nothing there and I can't get out because there won't be sufficient room for me to comfortably work against gravity and jump out. It will be being trapped inside a hole in a tree trunk not able to get out because you can't curl up your body in that small space. So I'm still wondering whether to stick my feet into it and push myself and see if I can make it to the other side. Is there an other side at all. This has been making me claustrophobic, such little space and a minute's decision can change everything. What if I get stuck and nobody sees, I'll be stuck there forever like getting stuck in an elevator that doesn't move. I swear every time I get into the elevator there are always images in my head of people who got trapped in elevators. Sometimes having fear is wisdom and having no fear can mean stupidity. Because fear is the root of survival. Knowing that something can be dangerous helps to stay out of it. Not having the fear and facing it head on and getting into huge trouble can put survival in jeopardy. I woke up before I could know what exactly I did. Maybe I just sat there watching. End of the dream..

Stop trying to target my comments on the forum. You're trying to single me out and I can clearly see that. If you have an opinion leave it, rather than reacting to mine and trying to create a spectacle. Ridiculing other people is not a great idea.

Your Amber Heard example has no relevance to my topic. Move on.

I have suffered some amount of narcissistic abuse in my relationships. This forum helped me deal with my codependency and emotional issues I had and made me realize that I was stuck in a bad relationship. That was a great help. I have ruminated a bit about the nature of narcissistic partners. And I found a correlation. I observed that narcissistic people are attracted to people who actually treat them bad. Like they get attracted to sociopathic people. Whereas when they have a respectful calm decent person, they start taking that person for granted and treat that person badly. But when they see a person who is influential, has social status, popular and powerful, intimidating, they try to impress this popular person. They try to impress those who hate them and treat them unkindly. But they push away a decent person and treat them like crap. Does this mean that narcissists get attracted to sociopaths or love the company of sociopaths? I needed more opinions on this based on your experience. I will explain this in some detail so that you know what exactly I'm trying to say. The narcissistic man I've seen some men are attracted to trophy girls and even if they get mistreated in the relationship they still want that woman because they think it's a thing of pride to be just associated with her Yet if they happen to be in a relationship with a plain Jane kind of girl who is treating the man very kindly, they kick her to the curb and treat her like a doormat and take her for granted. But they wouldn't display the same awful behavior with the woman who they find intimidating or powerful. They feel subdued or embarrassed to even stand up to her bad behavior. They feel pressured to impress her and are constantly hounded by the fear of losing her. Yet they see no offense or guilt in being hurtful to a good woman. The narcissistic woman I've seen some women who treat the guy very badly, abusive, bullying etc. They will put him down and be mean to him especially if they see him as a loser or not very popular or intimidating Yet these same women get attracted to a bad guy who is handsome, popular, intimidating, abusive, liked by most women, and even if he is treating her like shit, she wants to please him But she doesn't give a damn about the guy who respects and truly cares for her I think these behaviors are a part of the narcissistic psyche. Let me know what you think about it and elaborate.

That was excellent. Thanks for the input.

Thank you so much once again for the great advice.

I'm so happy I'll be meeting Sandra day after tomorrow. Yay..

I never got a good vibe from him. Seems like a controller. Watched a few of his videos. Yikes

The energy you exude is so important.

This will be interesting!

Day 3 February 5 Feeling okay. Didn't feel the need to reach to someone.

I like cardinals and cichlids Oops. I thought this was a recent topic. Sorry

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