Preety_India

I don't eat a lot of chocolate. So I don't know. I don't think I can use chocolates as a reward since I don't eat them. That would be a waste..

I'll make a box for my milestones.

I should have a reward system for myself. Like coins or points or just toffees. I can get a bunch of chocolates whenever I get a milestone. I'm also going to make a list of my milestones achieved.

I feel like my zest for life is coming back. It's returning. I feel like a triumphant return from the depths of misery, sabotage, shock and pain.. 2 years ago when I started my 1st journal here, I was feeling very miserable and clueless and helpless. And yet here I am and I'm feeling like a miracle.

I feel good today. I did good. Did all the cleaning and sorting. Got stuff done yesterday and today.

Activities will have codes like A1, A2, A3, A5, T1, T2, T4, etc.. I will have reference manual or spreadsheet for these activities.. Activities will be tasks that will be pre planned.

Sabotaging kind of piep

So I just created a pie chart for yesterday. It only includes major activities that I did yesterday but not all of them because this is just a trial chart to see how it will all work out..

I can create my own pie charts or use pie charts applications for this. Which I'm intending to do.

So next to the activity code I'll write the time or the percent of the daily time. So If I have been reading for 3 hours then I'll write that as 21% of the daily time, written next to it. The pie chart will automatically reflect that. The pie chart or full plate will show the shaded region occupying 21% of the full circle or pie.

So 100 percent represents one full day from morning to bed time. In that, suppose I read something for 20 minutes I'll call it 840 minutes a day.. I'll have a minute calculator So let's I spend 15 minutes in doing some task. It's going to be 1.7 % of the daily 840 minutes. 3 hours will be 21% of the daily time

These days my philosophy is going to change a bit It's going to be a plate And my plate is going to look like a pie chart that will help me track down how much time I spend in whatever activities I do. Activities will have code words to shorten them. Also the activities that help me with my personal development are going to be called Engaging or Useful. The rest are going to be called Random.

Switching mindsets can help. I found a big difference.

Not feeling great this morning. But I guess it's okay to not feel okay

Hurt

Stress

I'm not this way in real life. I was being sarcastic in that post. Yes I did go through some bad experiences in the past and my attitude towards men changed after that. I'm not even looking into dating so I don't have to worry about what guys care about and what they don't. I'm very warm, kind, funny, smart and open and was this way always with the men I dated. Now I choose to be with the boyfriend I have. I am quite happy with him. Past relationships did hurt me. But I never allowed that bitterness to plague my current relationship. I don't carry resentment. I just get silly and sarcastic. And yes I keep boundaries for a lot of different reasons. Thanks for the advice.

Today feels like a clean day. Hint hint

Self preservation is the key

Note to myself Don't be a workaholic but immerse in work

I'm feeling really good since I've been having a full plate. When my plate is full, (not because I feel empty), it just makes me feel like there is something to engage my mind into to keep intrusive thoughts and bad stuff away.. I've found that work is the best antidote to depression and loneliness. If I'm feeling "emotionally unaccepted" or emotionally deprived, for example zero affection from partner, so whenever I'm feeling that, I found that work is a great escape. Getting myself immersed in work has made me feel less lonely.. It has given me a sense of fullness and pride and reduced the neediness I had.. The more work I do, the more I'm at peace with myself. I had this codependent nature where I needed someone to make me feel wanted, I need someone to laugh around me, I needed people, I was a people kind of person but no more. I wanted love and affection and respect and peace and joy. I never got that as a child and even as an adult I'm realizing that my relationships have heavily relied on me for support rather than giving me any love back or any form of support. I was treated like a cloth hanger, like a crutch. I was never respected. It's not because of my low self esteem but more because of not realizing that I need to set boundaries and keep moochers out.. No mooching!! Now I know better. I know that I need to keep people out who do not wish to give me the support I need but rather take something from me.. That loneliness creeps in when the plate is half empty

Two things One is Live a clean life Get rid of the toxins. Second is Live a fresh life.. A clean slate start... Start with Positivity love and motivation.

Depends where he is getting the tattoo. I understand where you're coming from. Some people don't like tattoos and these days tattoos are getting a bad rep because a lot of gang members get them to flash signs and stuff. Show your brother a prison documentary on YouTube. Might change his mind. Not trying to say that getting a tattoo is a bad thing. He can do what he likes. But I have come across people who have regretted their tattoos. If he really really wants its bad, he should have it on his frontal part where he can hide under his T shirt or something. Some people get it done to their face which is so weird. I honestly never found it attractive or necessary. Ruins the face or arm. Having a tiny tattoo is fine.. Not those large wingspan kinda tattoos all across the chest and all over the arm, looks like alien. Some even have on skull. Freaks.