Preety_India

Don't be a sponge that absorbs dirt @Sombra yup

When someone fails to integrate you within them despite your best efforts to integrate, then it's their failure not yours. Don't make someone's failures your faults.

I think the next part would be learning how to keep a relationship strong and functional and how to have relationships that bring you maximum fulfillment and growth in life.

I wonder what the opposite would feel like.

Trump only decided to start responding when the pressure started mounting So he should thank the fake news media for creating his so called hoax, at least for once they inspired him to take the right action.

Since the breakup and with this coronavirus crisis, I've been geared towards focusing more on my marketing career and the small business I have which I plan on expanding further. So far so good but I still need to focus on drumming up more income. This will only happen when I improve my social and communication skills and get more dealers invested in my business. Right now it's only two dealers that I market with. But I hope to have at least 6 by the end of this year. People in the marketing business can be very cruel especially when it comes to sharing profits and "trust" is not an easy word to use in the marketing circles. I remember 2 years ago when I invested in a scheme for increasing income and it turned out to be a massive failure, thanks to trusting a marketing agent who was very manipulative and successful at gaining my trust. Never going to make that mistake again It's very important to carefully deal with people and know their intentions beforehand or look for red flags in interactions to see if the deal is going to be profitable to both parties. My event management work which was my primary source of income has taken a huge toll since the crisis. No more appointments from clients. No one calling because of the social distancing. The phone line doesn't ring anymore since the past 2 weeks.. The last client had canceled. I'll need to wait till the whole coronavirus situation is over with to start all over again and reconnect with old clients to conduct events.

Writing has been very therapeutic for me especially on my road towards healing, I've always been the writing type and the more I vent myself through my innate expression, the better is the purging, the release thereafter feels like magic, lifting me up from the depths of despair and showing me hope towards a better person that I can become. Relationships have a profound impact on the beliefs we have about ourselves, whether we realise it or not. During the course of a relationship, it’s very normal to ‘intertwine’ with a partner. Goals and directions change, as well as wants and needs for now and the future. This isn’t because you lose yourself, though certainly that can happen, but because intimacy involves opening up to another person – opening up to their love, wants, needs, feelings, opinions, love, goals, dreams. When that happens, you can’t help but be influenced and eventually move in the same direction. Sometimes that involves adjusting your own sails. It’s all a healthy part of being with someone fully, and part of the unpredictable magic of relationships. A breakup means the undoing of this merging, which is painful to go through. However strong and independent a person may be, the fracturing of a relationship can also mean the fracturing of the self-concept. One of the most painful parts of a breakup is that it up-ends things as you’ve come to know them. The familiar is gone, plans are changed and the future all of a sudden has too many blank spaces where happy things used to be. Part of the healing is re-establishing who you are without your partner. Anything that can repair and re-strengthen the self-concept, will accelerate healing. I try to ask myself, "who am I?" the first step towards healing is simply knowing oneself well Writing repeatedly about the process of the breakup as though speaking with a stranger about it, is another way to move towards healing. As well as being an emotional release, it also encourages a fresh perspective and new insights.

@Anna1 I pray for you and for your colleagues. Proud of you for being so strong during this crisis. You are a warrior. ❤️

I need to sometimes focus on the occam's razor technique with some of the issues in my life. This is a concept that focuses on the simplicity of things. On implicit nature. Occam's razor. It's used in a wide variety of ways throughout the world as a means to slice through a problem or situation and eliminate unnecessary elements. But what we call the razor is a little different than what its author originally wrote. There are two parts that are considered the basis of Occam's razor, and they were originally written in Latin: The Principle of Plurality - Plurality should not be posited without necessity The Principle of Parsimony - It is pointless to do with more what is done with less Taken together, they represent the basis of humanity's investigation into the universe, and the way we see our environment is largely based upon Occam's razor. There's no telling what kind of world we would live in today without Occam's razor. Would we have the Internet? Would we have inoculations? Consider simple systems in nature, like viruses and plants, and their ability to carry out complex tasks such as infection and photosynthesis. We value these simple models. And when it comes to man-made systems, we tend to base structures upon what we already know works - the simplest explanation to us - like computer memory modeled on our own brain processes. All of which points to the principles of plurality and parsimony. However, one of the key things that Occam's razor reveals is the subjectivity with which we view the universe. Sure the sky is blue, we know that by looking at it, but what shade of blue is it exactly? Anyone who has ever engaged in a debate over whether a dark-colored sock is black or navy can appreciate the bias of our worldview and how it affects our decisions. The simplest explanation is usually the right one. Detectives use it to deduce who's the likeliest suspect in a murder case - you know, the butler did it. Doctors ­use it to determine the illness behind a set of symptoms. How to use it in my life? Just focus on the most obvious things that need to be done or not done Why not do the obvious?

Emotional distress is the first sign that something is amiss Some more signs The first sign of emotional distress Breaking of boundaries Passive aggression Inability to connect Inability to humanize Lack of support Lack of accountability Passive ignoring EDS

@Bill W Hey, why did you change everything? I'm not even able to message you.

Come November, maybe he will pay for this?

You're sure you aren't joking.

If anyone can donate masks and essential things if they are in New York or arrange something.

Raising barriers is an absolute necessity to freedom. Barriers Barriers Barriers (you know what, when you are a thug and when someone out-thugs you, you have a big reason to get pissed.) Completely dblked

A paradoxical way of achieving freedom is to raise barriers. This might seem odd because freedom and liberation should mean freedom from barriers and no barriers at all. Zero barriers. But that's not how it works. Freedom obviously means breaking the barriers that are trapping you or making you feel trapped so you're liberated to pursue a higher cause, a cause of serving yourself in the highest way, and this means that you need to break those barriers but at the same time raising barriers is also a big part of feeling and being free, this means that you raise barriers to protect yourself from harm, sometimes when you are a free spirit, you neglect this aspect of your life, you forget that raising barriers means the unwanted one won't encroach your space and thus limiting the entry of only positive energy into your inner world.

One thing I realized is the importance of freedom. Freedom is an important word for me now. It means a lot.. I need to cherish freedom in my life. Once you're free you're able to have a better focus on your healing journey. Healing begins with freedom

A prayer for the world May God help those in need. Help those who are facing a shortage Those who have contracted the virus Give them strength to overcome And protect them from its effects Keep everyone safe and protected from the virus Those who are seeking and looking May they find what they are looking for Give hope to those who have none Give light to the ones who cannot see Give peace to the ones who are restless Bring healing to the earth Give strength and protection to doctors and nurses Give hope to the debilitated Let the soul of man awaken And Discard money, greed and materialism Let all men and women come together And seek love, hope, peace and joy within each other And take away the sufferings of each other And come to eternal peace and healing Amen

So Emerald did a reading on my love life. Looks awesome. There currently is a sense of stuckness in certain painful patterns of thought and belief. And these thoughts/beliefs make it hard to listen to your heart and follow your intuition. You are blindfolded and fixed in place... which attracts the kind of partner that amplifies and mirrors this “stuck” feeling. And there’s lots of potential for pain... with all the swords. The remedy seems to be to some deep contemplation on life, death, and love to get more perspective in terms of the role you want your love-life to play within the greater context of your life. And then, to develop your own masculine side more as well. And one such way would be to create your own business or live more in alignment with your purpose. This will create greater integration internally... which tends to translate to more integrated relationships externally as well

That's awesome @Emerald. Thanks.

What do the cards say about my future love life? How is my love life going to look like? Thanks

You can go to prayer request. Com and request a prayer for someone who is in distress. I did. @Anna1 thank you Anna. ❤️

Part 1 continued..... If i said something out of a misunderstanding, you would give me that look, that stern look, like I messed up bad, I would feel fear, a permanent fear that I might offend you in some way carefully curating my words and conversations with you, trying hard not to offend you even if I wasn't being offensive. That fear Living in fear Living in fear Living in fear My scattered brain was confused. It didn't know what was going on. You would be nice one minute. Bad the next. Lift me up Lift me up Bring me down Bring me down The relationship was a Rollercoaster Yes it was A Rollercoaster of emotions A Rollercoaster of emotions A Rollercoaster of emotions I felt trapped like wrapped in a chokehold The echo went Trapped Trapped Trapped Trapped I lived in guilt. You guilted me back every time I wanted to leave. Guilt Guilt Guilt Every time I said I was not happy and tried to protest you silenced me Silenced Silenced Silenced If I brought up an issue You would dismiss me Dismissed Dismissed Dismissed You always wanted another woman in the relationship but you wouldn't let me go if you wanted her. Love triangle Love triangle Love triangle You always said that I would do something bad when I never did it Projection Projection Projection If I ever asked a question I was wrong. Gaslighting Wrong Wrong Wrong If I showed you my scars of childhood abuse, you would say I'm playing victim Playing victim Playing victim Playing victim You would say that my family was brutal to me and then turn around and stab me Backstabbing Backstabbing Backstabbing You tried to isolate me from anyone who wanted to support me Isolation Isolation Isolation Being with you felt like a crazy ride. A bottomless pit. There was never any stability because there was no way to know when you would get angry. Bottomless pit Bottomless pit Bottomless pit You only wanted me when you wanted me. Other times I would get ignored. I was switch on switch off coffee vending machine to you. An object to be used whenever you wanted Object Object Object I always felt like I was getting nowhere in the relationship. Every time I put effort to patch things up it would break down again and I would keep patching up. I was digging harder and harder, harder and harder but I never struck gold, I never found that sense of peace with you, because you kept it from giving me, you wanted me struggling for your affection for forever Digging forever Digging forever Digging forever In moments when I felt like I received love, you made it appear like you did a favor to me, and you said that I didn't deserve you. Undeserving Undeserving Undeserving If you had a bad day you would call me a bitcch Bitcch Bitcch Bitcch I was not supposed to do this.. You controlled the narrative everytime. I was not supposed to do this or that. Everything had to be your way or no way. I removed people from my life that you didn't appreciate. I always had to do what you wanted Controlling Controlling Controlling When you needed help you would run to me, and I would help you but if I needed support, you would reject me Rejected Rejected Rejected If I was upset with your behavior towards me you would mock me Mocking Mocking Mocking You would never acknowledge that you were hurting me. After a lot of arguing you would finally accept that you "might" have been wrong but you would never apologize for hurting me Never accept Never accept Never accept If people helped him in some way he would pay them off with money. I would be disgusted by that. When I said that I wanted to have a child with you, you said that you wouldn't want a child and it will be a burden for you and you really cannot love my child. You would never say "our child" it was going to be my child..... Mine... Yours...Never "Ours" Mine... Yours... Never "Ours" Mine.... Yours... Never "Ours" You would threaten to leave me if I continued protesting your behavior instead of putting up with it. Those were your words... " you're on a short leash" "you're on a short leash" "I need to know if I really want you" If I told you that I'm fed up, you would blackmail me emotionally that I'll never be happy without you, that I'll suffer permanently if I decided to leave Emotional blackmail Emotional blackmail Emotional blackmail If I got triggered, you would say I'm getting triggered but never ask or want to know why I was getting triggered Shaming me for my trigger Blaming me for my trigger Never bothered to resolve the trigger You wouldn't stop picking on me even if I told you to stop Bullying Bullying Bullying You were feeding on me and using me and milking me for what I was worth. You were ready to throw me when you were done using me.. Use and throw Toilet paper Toilet paper Toilet paper I realized too late I was your punching bag. You were a champion in boxing in school by the way. Maybe this was another boxing trip. Punching bag Punching bag Punching bag I finally broke down when you said that you weren't sure if you wanted me. I had put put up with so much for so long and I still wanted our relationship to work because deep inside of me I still loved you, and I still wanted you but you kept on and on.... I felt like it was a sinking ship and there was no hope. Things were never going to change. The toxicity of the relationship was never going to end. So I gave up although I had given up many times before but this time something in me told me..... RUN RUN RUN.. NOW OR NEVER. Part 2 I finally took the plunge. Plunge Plunge Plunge And so I ran. I ran away. You as usual tried to hold me, not letting me go, guilting me for going, ready to pull me back. But I wasn't having it. I ran as fast as I could as if my life was on the line. You asked why.. I knew why. You knew why. Because you were a piece of shitt.. That's why. And then once again I was back to being the Cinderella that I was, the Cinderella I started out as, abused, hurt, unloved, deprived, the girl who was damaged since she was a child, the girl who tried to look for love and found it in the wrong places.. But all the hurt and betrayal taught her a lesson, never to trust a man again and anyone for that matter. To begin her new journey as a woman who finds love and peace within herself and vows to never get used by a man again!! I'll regenerate, regrow, flourish once again, despite all the hurt, I'll find love and hope and peace, I'll once again grow like a tree, this time I will use my experience to guide me to not be with people who abuse other's emotional vulnerability. This time I'll be back stronger than before and chart out my own path towards emotional strength and emotional independence. This time I will create love rather than search for it. I'll use my feminine energy to create something I lack instead of depending on a man to give it to me and I'll never be with a man who can't give it like I used to before. No need to be with men who make it harder to love a woman. Cancel them from my life. This time I pledge to myself to never be in loveless relationships and never be with loveless men who manipulate and create a facade to trap women. This time I take my flight to freedom into the abyss of unconditional self love and hope.

???Why I'll never trust a man ever again(with my heart) ??? Part 1 The first time we met, we instantly fell for each other. You would woo me with your words and your charm. You were charming and attractive. You had a way of saying things. A way of pleasing me by pandering to my inner child of deprivation. The inner child in me that was forever neglected in childhood, you laundered to that child in me, you said you would love me forever, you made me feel wanted, For the first day of our relationship you said the words "You're the woman of my life, I'd rather go blind than see you walk away." Finally I saw a man who openly said that he wanted me, that he would love me like no other. My inner child ran towards you in need of love, I was deprived for so long, I was hungry for long, hungry for love, so I saw love I ran like never before, I ran directly into your arms never realizing what nightmare was waiting for me. "You're the woman of my life" "I will love you like no other" "I'd go blind without you" Those were the words you said and I began dreaming. The Cinderella within me wanted to dream. Wanted to dance. The first 2 months were great. Great sex. You're so loving, so gentle, I felt like a beautiful world had opened for me. Finally I was the Cinderella who found her glass slippers and she was ready to ride with her Prince Charming from the Diamond Ball. I felt like I found the one that truly fit like a glove, or like a beautiful glass slipper.. And then came Month number 3. And you started to face problems in your life, people were rejecting you, things were getting harder for you, you would have bad moods, you true colors begin to show. Your anger issues began to crop up. You would get angry for nothing. You would chastise me, take out your frustrations on me, pass me snide remarks. It was only the beginning, the beginning of the death of Cinderella's dream.. Your true colors would begin to show It was the 3rd month of our relationship and I noticed that you weren't the same person I had fallen head over heels in love with. You wouldn't say anything loving anymore. You would ignore my smiles. You would start talking a lot about your ex. You would suddenly get a violent temper and fly in a rage at me. And you would be cold and say something mean.. The next day you would act like nothing happened. I began to feel hurt and confused. Not understanding what happened. If I asked you would get angrier. You would make me feel deprived and guilty if I wanted some time with you. Deprived Deprived Deprived