Preety_India

As I sit here trying to process all the childhood trauma and everything I went through, the horrible abuse, this is not a easy thing to get rid of. I have been struggling for years now and the effects still don't leave me

I need to surround myself with more loving people. There's just no excuse to have someone who is being disrespectful to me. Abuse is so complex and complicated. It gets packaged in various ways and presented to you. Be strong

I'm healing from the wounds of constantly being treated like a ragdoll and thrown around. It's so toxic. Wish I could do undo a lot of things that happened both in my childhood and in my relationships and never had to suffer this way. Sometimes I don't know, I come across these people on gossip sites and they seem weird, like cultists sort of, they have their own little groups and they shut everyone out of it and you never understand what they are talking about and they talk in metaphors and code language and it looks like they are all cool with each other until some drama breaks up between them and everything becomes open secret. There's always like a ringleader who is adored by everyone and everyone acts a bit weird and sometimes you get the feeling that this group of people will attack you if you even slightly triggered one person in the group. They seem to be living in their own world closed off from the rest of the world. The tell-tale signs are usually the weird behavior and weird fetishes and lot of pretentious behavior in most of the people in the group These groups are ubiquitous and I find them on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, chat rooms, forums, Instagram and mostly online I will give a few examples of such groups. Notice that similar people attract each other. And these people usually like chat a lot. They always have a chat room. Like a VIP members area always. Notice how they always go overboard in their appearance and identity. Almost like narcissism disguised as style. Jeffree star has been one of my favorite makeup brands but can't help notice the cultist edge to his products, opinions, members and the same Insecurity, the same aloofness and arrogance. They also seem to have unusual names or names they invented to have an identity. Such groups are also found on 4chan, reddit, discord and periscope, twitch Some of the people are just gamers, but some of the people almost make the website their identity and life.. They turn into those online characters and personalities they want to be in their respective groups Usually you come across a lot of code language and cryptic messages that only the board users members and fans (more like stans) will understand. If you are an outsider you will feel confused and clueless, even left out. enever I was a part of these groups, it was very difficult to communicate because everything followed a hierarchical system of obedience. You have a specific position in the hierarchy. And people are always vying for attention. The leader makes all the decisions. And people are dropped from the group for no apparent reason, just because the leader or sub-leaders didn't like the person, when you get outed, you feel really bad, like abandoned or bullied or ostracized, victimized. Over time you learn how to deal with the bullshit and you don't let it affect you, but for a newbie, being removed from the group can lead to short term trauma or anxiety. This is usually bad for teens who are dealing with PTSD and anxiety or social isolation issues. Bullies are rampant and widespread in such groups and so are victims. You could also have members asking you for donations and such. Girls are encouraged to give pics, you know those pics. I have been to such groups as a teen and they use to give me a lot of anxiety. They can make you feel accepted and at home but only if you abide by their group principles and if you don't, you're bullied and singled out. I just never knew how to label or spot such people because I don't want to be in their traps. Right now I oy prefer to call them the "chathood people." In its lowest form, it's just low grade C Manson.

There will always be some kind of a subculture wherever you go. It's just how it is. But remember not to get too impacted by it. You be you.

@GodDesireOnlyLove thanks

I know that you will continue to do more damage to me. But I'll see what happens. But don't pull that shit on me again. Don't play with my emotions. Don't get sneaky.

As I take myself back

Thanks I'll try.

@belen you're very thoughtful.

@belen true. Agree

Best is to find some way to escape her behavior. Maybe tell her to stop every day and scream at her and keep protesting till she stops. Keep the door of your room closed. Tell her to stop interfering in your life. Also stop reacting emotionally to her because it turns into a vicious cycle. Become like a rock.

I'd never take Joe Rogan seriously. He just isn't on that plane. He is one of those Oprah Winfrey style people who just talk a lot about meditation and spirituality but don't actually do as much as they talk. His profession is to just talk and talk because it's like a podcast, a talk show, that's what he does.. Peppy and light. He is not a spiritual teacher nor have I ever heard him saying something extraordinarily amazing.. He just brings on guests and talks. I don't think someone like Joe Rogan would ever want to delve seriously deep into anything. He is the one who just wants to skim the surface.

That was funny. If he was living forever, he would be talking gibberish forever.

Ask Serotoninluv

What about those who have more serotonin?

A woman is selective when it comes to her horniness. She is not going to feel the same way around every guy. She can have some degree of control on her sexual desire whether it's orgasm or masturbation in general. However a man has less control on his ejaculation because his experience of horniness is way above the level that a woman experiences.. Men can feel horny all day long.. Of course women can experience multiple orgasms but they feel this way only when they are feeling sufficiently aroused and a lot depends on their hormonal state at the point of time Men don't need this. They can easily get horny at any day during the year We never use the term premature ejaculation for women because women need foreplay and constant stimulation to reach orgasms. Whereas men can easily ejaculate once they are aroused. Some men have to have deep control and constant practice to avoid a premature ejaculation and to keep going till the woman experiences her climax. Women do prostitution and porn mainly for the financial reason. Not because they want to dish out sex to all men. Women don't pay for sex. Because a lot of men will offer themselves if they wanted sex with them. They can easily get it for free, why?.. Because men are too horny to wait for money. Does this mean that women go out seeking a man just for sex. No.. They seek the right guy only.. They wait for the right man. Because women have a much greater control on their sexuality than men. Whereas men have to pay for sex, even manipulate women to get sex. Because men feel very horny because there is no woman around to match his desire unless she is in a relationship with him. If he has a girlfriend then no problem. But without a girlfriend, he will need to pay to get sex. That already tells you that women make money on sex whereas men lose money for sex. Shows who needs it more. Men consider it a privilege when they get sex, because they don't get it easily, even perfect guys have to woo the woman in different ways till she gives in. She is not going to sleep with him right away even if he is perfect. Whereas women don't see sex as a privilege because they know very well that if they wanted it, they can get it for free like room service whenever wherever, some man is always more than happy to serve her. Also look at rape statistics. Most victims are women. Of course men are also victims of rape, but a lot of these rapes are again committed by other homosexual men, few by women. These statistics again prove that men find it difficult to keep it in the pants and have to find a way to get sex somehow. If women were horny all the time then men wouldn't have a problem in getting a woman's consent for sex. She would be more than ready. Now when are women horny? To the level comparable to men When they are going through puberty When they are feeling horny on any occasion depending on her mood (not all the time) When they are on their period When they get aroused by masturbation example vibrator or by porn. When they are around a sexually attractive male that they perceive as an ideal partner or the right guy. During such situations, you can't really measure who is more horny. Both men and women are equally horny maybe women feel hornier than the guy. But in general, men have a greater need for sex than women. The number of women who feel extremely horny, to the point of a pathological problem is always lower than the number of men who experience the same condition. Men and women are not equal when it comes to feeling levels of horniness and the number of times or frequency of feeling horny and the accompanying overall sexual needs.. Men need it more than women. Also for women there are curves during her whole lifetime that dictate her horniness. Its very seasonal. They can feel maximum horniness during puberty, when they are in their active reproductive ages, when they attain some maturity like in their 30s but it doesn't stay that way forever. Once past their prime, and especially after having kids, their sexual intensity begins to subsequently decline as they approach menopause, they may have erratic sexual desires during this time, but after a certain point, their need for sex gradually tapers off. Yet for men the desire for sex remains viable for a lifetime. They may experience physical difficulties with sex like movements or arousal issues but it doesn't dampen their sexual needs. They still want it even in their old ages. Hence we don't see a lot of couples where the women are in their 80s and roaming around with a young man, however there are plenty of examples of men who are in their 70s and 90s and have a young girl as their wife. Because for men, the sexual needs are much higher and stronger than women. For women a lot of sexual desires will depend very much on her stage in the female reproductive lifetime cycle. It's usually at the peak at the middle of it when she is still able to get pregnant but as her chances of pregnancy reduce with age, her sexual desires also take a fall. For men, sex is both biological and psychological whereas for women, sex is primarily biological, the psychological aspect comes secondary.

Of course I didn't include that detail. I've also mentioned elsewhere that I had a porn addiction for some time but now I tried to keep it to the minimum because it kinda takes away the interest from real sex for me. Also the way I perceive men gets affected by porn. Also I do get horny not just during my periods but also on other days as well. But I'm so busy that and I have done it so much for so long that I don't do it as much as I used to when in my teens and at 21/22. Now I'm kinda used to it. I've girl friends who watch porn with me. I used to watch porn even with my ex boyfriends. I just didn't include the whole details because I thought people gonna judge me a bit much.

If it's a player girl, then you are better off without her. Being with players causes emotional distress. There is no point of reasoning with them because they continue with that behavior

This is how I experience my horniness. I feel very horny when I see a man I cannot resist. If he is the man I want, I'm going to have orgasms just looking at him and feeling his presence. Then I want to chase him down like a cheetah. I just wanna seduce him till he caves. (I feel super horny during my periods, well of course) My horniness is like fire. It needs a spark, till then it's dormant. But when the right guy comes along, I'm lit. I only get attracted to sexy men. Others I don't bother to look at. I don't care if people think I'm a whore or whatever. I'm my own. I go for looks and intelligence. Looks means both face and body (and hair on the head.) I don't go for tattoos or baldy or skinny. Nice athletic, muscular, my last boyfriend was a boxing champion. Also intelligence matters. He should be able to talk. I don't prefer the silent shy types. They don't excite me. I'm not going to have sex with any Tom, Dick and Harry. My body is too precious for that and I'm selective. My horniness is selective, only the man I am attracted to or no man. I'm well in control of my sexuality since puberty, just like my sexy mom. She got the best man and lived with him all her life and I was born, hehe

That's the point I've been trying to make.

April 27 Mini updates Great start. No nightmares. Got some stuff done yesterday. Today too. Hope it works out good. Finished my art that I had started a few days back. This forum is such a cesspool of argumentative people, like what in the world, everyday I see people butting heads with each other, seriously annoying, someone starts a topic, then it gets locked because it doesn't have the right content, then that person is offended, there is just no way to not offend someone, or something gets taken out of context and someone takes offense for nothing, bullshit questions, just people trying to trigger each other because they have to be above others. You don't need big big meditation to just be a normal decent human being. Fuck I've come across more decent people in real life to be honest. They disagree but don't get mean. It seems in spirituality circles, people have a lot up their ass. Their ego is massive. waste of space. I need my self now. I've begun to love my self. The love that I was searching for in men, I now search within myself. I can be Infinitely kind and loving and I know that power in me

Exactly

Crap music. Just to define how crappy life is. So Macaulay Culkin decided to do this crap music.. Oh well. Like someone said, for all his great work as a child, Culkin wanted to do something crap to be normal again. That's befitting. Like me huh

Nothing beats natural intelligence.