Preety_India

Woke up feeling really shitty Had a nightmare. Wasn't a good feeling at all. This time I remember it fresh and vivid. I'm invited to an academy of arts and sciences When I enter the Academy Building, it's quite prestigious, I feel honored. But as soon as I enter, I see a lot of white people. Most of them are blonde haired. I approach them, they are very friendly and nice, they tell them they are foreign language students from different countries. I'm very impressed. As I walk further, I see huge trees and a long road with trees flanking the road on both sides. It's very pleasant, very spring like.. It's a long road, I'm sprinting and as I reach at the end of it, I see like a wooden bridge with huge wooden bars making the floor of the bridge. So I step on it.its kinda wet and damp. I'm bit surprised because the weather is warm. How can it be so wet here. So I keep walking. I see a lot of people standing along a railing along the bridge. At first I don't notice the water under the bridge. So I lean against the railing and I see the huge stream of water almost looks like a sea under the bridge. It's really deep deep blue water, lot of waves and foam on the surface, the water is constantly splashing against the railing of the bridge. The railing is quite tall so you won't fall. I keep walking and I suddenly see my school friends, all grown up now. I see Anushree, a friend from school. She greets me warmly at first and then ignores me. I see Nikita next to her and they are both busy talking ignoring me. So I'm like... Huh!! Nevermind. I keep walking.. I come across some really young girls, they must be 6 years old. They look really tiny even for that age. They look like the size of... Like double the size of a cat.. I don't know but they are really tiny looking.. I say hi to them and they are kinda pleasant. A lot of them smile at me. I then turn my attention to the opposite side of the railing. The railing is on both sides of the bridge. I look down and the splashing gushing water is almost creating a lather. I see a woman and a boy, the woman is wearing a bright orange colored life jacket and signaling everyone above to not jump into the water.. I'm watching everyone. A lot of people on all sides. I am standing next to a girl and we are chit chatting and laughing. Then a man approaches me from behind and casually introduces himself and shows me a small carriage vehicle. I've never seen something like that before. It's like a cup shaped seat and behind is the driver's seat. He tells me to sit in it and that he will take me for a ride. I sit in it and he gives me a ride along the whole bridge and we come back to the same spot. I awkwardly step out of the vehicle. But I forget to say thank you to him. I continue my conversation with that girl and that man is standing right behind me. I have a bag full of treats with me, candies and stuff. I grab some and give it to the girl im chatting with. Then I turn around and feel slightly awkward seeing that guy but I realize that I need to thank him in some way so I pull out more treats and give him some as well. Then I walk further down the bridge. I see a girl, one of those tiny girls sitting on the bridge. The bridge has a slightly elevated plank on the railing attached to it (like an outward window sill) and she is huddled in that small space Continued later. So the tiny girl is sitting in a bowl, roughly 1 feet wide, just a small bowl. And she is sliding along the plank and hits an obstacle and takes the bowl back to the top of the plank. I'm scared looking at her. I tell her that she can easily fall into the water and she doesn't care to listen. She tells me that the Bowl will protect her and she will keep sliding on the plank but never fall. I try telling other girls that this is dangerous and that she could fall into the water and I'm concerned for her but they don't pay heed to what I say.. I keep walking down the bridge and then come across a wooden obstruction. This obstruction looks like a machine with a huge aperture like the one you see on the bagging checking at the airport, like the airport luggage x ray scanners. I see a lot of my friends entering it by falling on their front and crawling and wiggling through it. I look at them and feel uncomfortable. How am I going to slide and crawl through this. So I give it a try. And I keep struggling because it's really small so I keep gliding and slithering a little by little and finally I make it and come out of it really gasping for air.. And I see in front of me a room. I see Anushree sitting there in a corner and all my friends sitting in a row very tightly squeezed against each other. This looks like the inside of a boat or a cruise ship. I'm surprised. I didn't expect this. I feel a bit of a dread coming on. Because I am not sure what this is all about. So I ask Anushree and she says this is a part of the Academy's course and that we need to be on the ship for the next 40 days. I am very scared now. 40 days!!!!!!!!! What!!!!!!!! I can barely manage in that place for 40 days. Suddenly the ship starts to tilt really bad and we are all thrown off our balance The ship keeps tilting side to side. Suddenly there is a huge gust of wind and the ship is rocking dangerously and we are all falling off, I'm thinking how am I going to survive on this ship for 40 days!!! I woke up in fear and sweat. Dream abruptly ends.

This is funny.

On the positive side, those who choose to stay quarantined are heroes. Cheers to Quarantinians ??? Enjoy the beer oops bear ???

RIP. I don't know this person at all. First time I came across this name. Sad to know that his contributions have been cut short. Condolences to his friends and family.

@Nahm your help and guidance is needed here. Please talk to @Nahm

@Anna1 very sad to hear about this. My condolences and prayers to these families who lost their mothers. May they find closure and peace during such hard times

It's raining here. I'm feeling so upset right now watching the rains. I wish I never had that relationship. I wish I never trusted someone so much. I feel like a complete fool. I feel such enormous betrayal. I wish I never met that person. I feel so used. I broke up with him but the scars are really like deep wounds. He used me. I allowed it because of my low self esteem. Now it comes back to haunt me every day. How could I be this stupid How could I be this vulnerable... There are tears in my eyes just thinking how I let myself get hunted and manipulated by this fucking evil man. I feel so depressed. I just wish so bad I never had that relationship. It hurts so much. You are evil. You can keep denying that. But what you did to me was evil. Goodbye

This is almost like a cascade model for spirituality Self honesty Self awareness Self introspection (shadow work and self enquiry) Self love Self growth

A quality that I hugely lack is self introspection. So along with self honesty (raw and uncut), self introspection also contributes hugely to spiritual growth. The following are key points. Self honesty Self awareness Self introspection (shadow work and self enquiry) Self love Self growth

When Leo becomes that enlightened, he will achieve Mahasamaadhi. Then whoosh he will disappear. How can we enjoy his presence here then? So it's better if his total consciousness is delayed as much as possible.

My ex boyfriend used to always call me a bit odd and weird. Well, honestly, I can attest to that. I'm weird for sure.

The other thing that I wanted to discuss is self honesty. Pure raw and uncut self honesty leads to greater self awareness. Being sneaky about the self is like bypassing the most important milestone on a spiritual journey.. A lot of spiritual masters want to be ahead of the game and master different techniques but when it comes to pure raw self honesty, they get lame and back off. This is a huge hurdle in spiritual growth and I see it as a thing that evades most spiritual scholars and practitioners and practically handicaps them in the direction of spiritual growth So you kind of get the feeling that they are really great and well rounded and brilliant in their spiritual work but lack at the most basic feature of spiritual Mastery. I see a lot of journal writers on here being exceptionally self honest and raw about it. That's a good beginning something that I need to cultivate as well. I'm honest but not fully. My self awareness is still lacking. When you are fully and substantially honest with yourself and in your writing, ( which is a skill on its own), it really Kickstarts your self awareness and takes it many notches higher.. (sorry for my bad English, duh!!) This self awareness is crucial in fixing the self and an important component of emotional and spiritual growth.. Like I said, a lot of people just bypass it. Just mastering techniques is not spirituality.

Yea... Making that post was like a milestone moment for me. That was the first time ever that I even thought about self love in a more serious way. It instantly spearheaded or short-circuited my emotional healing. First time in my life I got a breakthrough after a lot of tedious soul searching. A pat on my back.. Good job girl. ❤️

Got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Searched through all my posts quickly and found this one. This one was made exactly on April 16... So here is the reason why I was so happy on that day. Because i created those exercises and talked a bit about self love. Hahhahahah I knew it would be some odd reason.

I think the reason must have been that I felt free of all judgement. I don't know. I'll have to look through each and every post in all the journals to know for sure. This is a difficult task so I'll put it for later. When something gnaws at my mind, it just doesn't leave me

I have no idea why I was feeling so happy and put together on April 16 There must have been some reason, possibly an odd one, but it escapes my mind. It's important to timestamp posts (which I always always forget) so I can keep a track of my emotional states in a more exact manner.. If I'm sad I really want to know the reason. If I'm happy I really want to know the reason. I have no memory of the reasons. I just know that I was feeling very happy that day. My memory is so messed up because of the relationship stress I suffered, I don't remember anything much at all these days. Hopefully my memory will reset itself and I won't have such a hard time again.

This song simulates my overall personality so much. It combines all the forms within me, the need to be by myself, the need to pull away, the feeling of being violated in some way. I see different aspects of my personality in this song being played out at different times. Like some places where I'm strict with who I am and some where I just don't care about anything at all. The entire theme of me switching from agression to softness, being this strong person in one minute and then being a vulnerable person in the next moment is so well captured in the song. Also this need for me to be in an ethereal world where I don't feel judged anymore is artistically expressed in the song especially in the part where she moves her fingers and sits there not caring for anything but own self expression, a constant theme throughout my life and my personality. The song constantly brings out the me in me which is a pleasant surprise because I listen and watch so many songs every day but none of them had an impact on me or made me closer like this one. When I watch this song and the whole layout of the video, it instantly reminds me of me, in an artistic way, overlapping and combining different aspects of my personality into one whole. Also the rapid changes in frames throughout the song coincide perfectly with the rapid changes I experience in my thought process from time to time.. I've never been able to resonate with a music video this much before. I didn't even pay attention to most, but somehow this one captured the essence of my personality and it stood out the most for me. Who knew that I would find a music video and see glimpses of my personality in it.. So unpredictable. I usually do not philosophize much on the stuff I come across but this one needed a special mention because I relate so much to me. Been quite a long time since I was able to relate to a song. I don't listen to mainstream music as much as I used to before, something about it has turned me away, their need to get views and instant fame and money has really cheapened the music industry today. Right now enjoying this video and seeing myself in it. Feels like glory.....

I think you're suffering from bias. This is visible in the fact that you snoop on their conversations with a preset mind. Because all you are doing is looking for a confirmation of that bias. Someday if it happens that she gives you a look, you'd feel some sort of comfort that your bias was confirmed. Notice it's your own bias and has no ground on its own if you weren't thinking the way you do. You've to confront yourself. It's not your dad's girlfriend's fault. You have a shadow against her. Only you can resolve it. Make room for her in your mind where you accept her the way she is and for who she is and let her be free of your judgement. She is not subject to your judgement to begin with. Once you resolve this and bring acceptance, your guilt and subconscious hate will automatically resolve itself.

Taoist sexual

Today I was thinking about the different types of people that you came across during my morning meditation. And this insight came to me. Like how people come in different flavors all the time. Some people are funny, some are smart and some are superficial. Then there are those people who are real real, they never lose their realness no matter what and what they say is exactly what they mean. Such people leave an imprint, a mark on our lives. They are deep.. You can always appreciate and like the funny people but you can never deny the deep people who make big changes with their presence and greatness. You don't feel like you have to explain anything to these people, because they already know how you feel and deep down they care about you. You never have petty fights with them.. I've begun to appreciate such people. I got a quote in my mind that instantly connected to this philosophy and insight and this quote made perfect sense. I tried to imagine that those funny people were like sunshine whereas the deeper people were like storms. Even if sunshine makes you feel warm, the storms leave you with a lasting inspiration and influence I kinda fashioned a quote out of this thought. You can like the sunshine but you cannot stop the storm..

Ms and Ws and Js are 3 peas of the pod. Eating ice cream while...

A bold message to my ex You're a sociopath who used to feed on my softness and vulnerability. And thank God I finally left your mind games for good. You constantly kept telling me how awful it was for me to leave you. Ahhh!!!! The Gaslighting right there, so I shouldn't leave. If you feel upset because I dumped you, remember this.. It's victims who make the final decisions, not abusers. Abusers don't want the drama to end. Victims do.