Preety_India

Things seem to be going back to normal I guess This is May 14 And I'm expecting that by the end of the May month things are going to be okay and safe. At least I'm waiting to go out and travel and be able to go out. My apartment has still not lifted the ban on limited mobility I'm supposed to submit paperwork if I have to go out every day. Which is ridiculous Also my job has been hit hard. No more clients calling for the service. Because there are no events at this time The events will only begin once people feel safe to have a crowd. So I will have to wait for a really long time like several months to get my job back.. The government has not relaxed the rules for crowds. Of course. The social distancing is going to be happening over the course of few more months. Once they relax social distancing rules I can get offers once again. Since my work is about being in large crowds of people this wont be possible any time soon So a really long time with no work and no income. Meanwhile I just have to rely on selling camping material which I'm currently doing to make some bucks in the meanwhile. Last week I was able to sell some but not much. Whatever works works...I can't complain much because there are many people sitting home who lost their jobs just like me. They are suffering as well. Somehow this whole coronavirus situation looks like a period of sad darkness and misery, like a war period. And I just while my time away writing and getting bored and sometimes hungry. Once the coronavirus is over and done with , it will be like freedom. I will able to go out which I'm desperately waiting for. I will be able to sit in a park, enjoy the sunset, walk in nature, look at a pond or river, go to a shopping mall, travel in public transport, enjoy the greenery around, meditate in the woods... So on.. . Don't know when this will happen. It's going to take probably the end of June or July and my patience is being sorely tried. I wish It could happen at the earliest but I understand why staying at home is so important. But still... I'm so tired of this shit.

This journal is my reflection on what I feel about the situation and how I'm going to be positive throughout this time to help me, my family and friends to stay strong and courageous through this crisis. This situation will also test my determination and resolve to get through and fight as I have always done. I'm also going to note incidents of human behavior where I can understand human nature better so in times of crisis in the future, I'm better adapted to the actions and effects of the human nature and keep myself protected at all times from the pitfalls and drawbacks of humanity. To keep myself on an alert so that I do not fall prey to the wrongdoings of human nature.

I'm going to be doing the fire visualization practice everyday.

This was an incredibly horrible nightmare. There was a woman sitting in front of me during painting class. She was just vulgar and brash and constantly boasting. She was sitting with her boyfriend. And calling a lot of clients. My paint bottles for some reason were falling off the table and it was a mess on the floor. This woman immediately calls the cops on me. And constantly keeps threatening me. I'm telling her to calm down but she won't listen.. She just wants to see me in trouble. She constantly keeps telling her boyfriend about me. They gossip about me. This woman is like a mean girl bully. After a while she sits across me on the other side and speaks on her cell phone. And I hear her conversation because she is being extremely loud. And she tells them that she is talent handling agent. She takes people who find it difficult to get a job and then trains them so that they can easily land a job. Her language and tone puts me off because she is very rude, brash and arrogant, loud talk, she constantly boasts how good she is and acts mean and tough meanwhile throwing mean looks around. She talks like a pimp drug addict. Just very loud and obnoxious and tacky. Just completely soulless and in unemotional I am watching her, a bit scared because I don't know what she will do next. By now I'm too annoyed by her obnoxious boasting and mean language. I don't know how she treats her clients because she doesn't look nice at all, acts like a monster I really don't want the cops to come and create a scene and I'm thinking this woman is just a big mean bitch. Dream cuts off

I have been doing great after this fire visualization.

You look very handsome and very young. And also you are very intelligent. You look sexy in your pic. So you won't have problems getting girls

@28 cm unbuffed Lmao I thought you were 18.

@28 cm unbuffed yea insight and self inquiry and Metta meditation which is basically love meditation, like giving love to the universe. It might sound a bit absurd but try different techniques and you could read spiritual books to upgrade your spiritual database lol. Spirituality is essentially Cultivating infinite love in you. And doing more self reflection, knowing your self better. I hope my advice is going to be helpful

@28 cm unbuffed Do you think my advice will work out for you. The second post I made I mean.

My mom was like a tiger mom and there were a lot of issues growing up under her tiger mommying. There was a lot of violence and abuse, both physical and emotional and psychological It was so bad that I ran away from home at age 14 while my mom was beating me. At the time I was trying to pick the phone and call my dad to pick me up but before I could speak, she yanked the phone out of my hand and smashed it. And then proceeded to beat me. I tried to get out of the house and she wouldn't let me and finally when I tried to escape she shut the door on me and threw me on the floor outside the house. I had no money, nothing except my clothes and flip-flops.. I kept walking to a church that was many miles away and sat there for hours. And then I was just walking alone. My sister rescued me in the end and brought me back to my abuser There were many episodes even after that where I sustained physical injuries on myself that are still present today.. And the emotional scars were extreme. It was all fucked up.

I wanted to write a journal on theories of the brain. And this is a new chapter in my spiritual life

I can put forward one method to deal with the problem of uncertainty with respect to growth. This method is sorta simple. Keep 2 things in mind to follow this method. One is to have a very slimmed down basic framework like following a daily regiment or routine or discipline which will consist of good diet, regular exercise, regular work, some time with nature, good sleep and healthy lifestyle devoid of toxic things like video games and all that. And the second is to invest at least 2 hours a day in spiritual growth little by little every day. And to keep in mind that spirituality is like an ocean and spiritual growth and learning is infinite. Once you realize that it's infinite learning then you are not very with earning spiritual Mastery. You can take it nice and slow every day and also be proud of your spiritual growth. At the same time this dedicated amount of fixed time towards spiritual growth is not interfering with your daily self actualization routine.

INTENSE FIRE VISUALIZATION AND EXPLOSION OF SPIRITUALITY I finished an intense fire visualization and honestly it felt like a rebirth. The visualization was as follows. First I sat down completely naked. I took a deep breath for a few seconds. And then started imagining a small ball of fire at the center of the heart chakra in my chest. And then I imagined that this ball of fire was getting bigger and bigger. And the fire was spreading throughout my body. And slowly the flames were emanating from my skin outwards towards the surroundings. Eventually these wild flames will reaching to the planet and energizing every flower, plant, animal and humans giving them the energy to sustain and survive and be protected from all the deficiencies and Scarcities of life. This fire wasn't burning the grass but like sunlight it was energizing everything. I suddenly felt like an explosion of spirituality and light. I felt a bit dizzy but it was okay. I felt calm. At the end of it the fire was slowly receding and coming back to me and gradually fading into a small ball and disappearing within me. I don't have words to describe this experience. It really felt like an explosion. Like boom!!!! and then calm, fading..... It felt like a massive purge. Only these images can describe how I felt. But it was more powerful than anything I had experienced before Almost resonates with what Osho said. Everything was Infinity. This picture resonates a lot with how I felt. It was like looking deep inside me instead of outside. There was an intense vulnerability towards the end I felt like....... Like all love, all splendor, all beauty, all art, all intelligence, all creativity, all energy, all peace, all Infinity merging together in that fire ball inside of me. And this fire ball represented the energy of the universe through which everything was made possible. Every form of art or creativity, every piece of art, every form of love, every moment of peace came out of this fire ball. I cried a lot after this experience. It liberated some intense trauma. I had experienced intense childhood trauma. Something that I don't talk about because I consciously try to hide it. There is an intense fear in talking about it so I don't talk about it. I never talked about it to any of my boyfriends except for Andrew who has been very non judgemental.

I can put forward one method to deal with the problem of uncertainty with respect to growth. This method is sorta simple. Keep 2 things in mind to follow this method. One is to have a very slimmed down basic framework like following a daily regiment or routine or discipline which will consist of good diet, regular exercise, regular work, some time with nature, good sleep and healthy lifestyle devoid of toxic things like video games and all that. And the second is to invest at least 2 hours a day in spiritual growth little by little every day. And to keep in mind that spirituality is like an ocean and spiritual growth and learning is infinite. Once you realize that it's infinite learning then you are not very with earning spiritual Mastery. You can take it nice and slow every day and also be proud of your spiritual growth. At the same time this dedicated amount of fixed time towards spiritual growth is not interfering with your daily self actualization routine.

I find deer fascinating. The moose The elk The royal stag Elk Caribou Fallow deer A random assortment of animals and birds. The greater coucal has been my favorite bird.. I love the sound it makes. It's usually sits somewhere close to my window. Sometimes it can sound really creepy. Like some warning call of danger or sadness Here is a clip of the greater coucal bird call And then there are other birds

List of mysterious animals Wolf Snake Coyote Cat Elephant Frog Cow Falcon Hawk eagle Vulture Horse Dragon /Dinosaur

I don't want to go there because I don't know in what direction my brain might wander and what it might pick up

Nah, Unless you are looking to devolve into devilry.

National animal of Pakistan. The Markhor goat The nubian Ibex The Alpine ibex What a majestic pose Now that's interesting.

Animals in ancient Egypt

Indian bison or gaur Yak and bull. A musk ox

So what's the difference between a coyote and a fox? Now I'm really curious. What is difference between a coyote and a fox and a jackal and a wolf?