Preety_India

@Anna1 ❤️❤️?

Be safe

Coffee is the best ever. ~ Coffee Lover.

@Marc Schinkel go do your wim hof

I have a huge interest in gemstones. And I love collecting gemstones and learning about them. This journal is going to be my beautiful record of my gemstones and my gemstone collection hobby.. Happy Ostara

@Onemanwolfpac enough. Instead of commenting on people's comments, try answering the OPs question directly. Saves a lot of drama.

Living in victimhood is different from fighting victimhood. Fighting victimhood means you don't accept it and want it to change. It's liberating rather than limiting.. On the other hand perpetuating victimhood is what limits you.. Of course everyone knows that you do the best with what you got. But you also do your best by breaking social barriers. Thats called creating change and not limitation.

So I tried to get information on this and it's currently trending on social media.. And this woman is some Malaysian beauty pageant winner, Miss Malaysia Universe who made this comment on her Instagram. Her mother is Chinese and her dad is Brazilian and she calls herself "a white baby" And she doesn't even know that this is more about cop abuse. I think she just wanted to say something and ended up looking dumb. So this is the article and the organization that hosted her doesn't want to do anything with her anymore. So the following is the excerpt from the article about this woman who made that instagram post. A former Miss Universe Malaysia has been criticised after she posted a series of offensive comments about the Black Lives Matter protests taking place across the US. Samantha Katie James, 25, used her Instagram account to post several stories commenting on African Americans who have been demonstrating against police brutality and racism in the US for six days straight. She told over 160,000 followers that the protests were proof that “the whites [have] won” and called protesters who are angry about the killing of George Floyd “foolish humans”. “I don’t live in America and it has nothing to do with me, but to me, it seems like the ‘whites’ won,” she wrote in her first post. “If you’re angry, you response in rage and anguish and that means it has power over you. They have power over you.” “You chose to be born as a ‘coloured’ person in America for a reason. To learn a certain lesson. “Accept it as it is, till now hunger and poverty still exists. It is what it is. It’s inevitable. Best you can do is remain calm, protect heart, don’t allow it to crumble. “That’s your responsibility,” she added. In another post, she answered a follower who asked what she meant by “chose to be born ‘coloured’” and said: “Like our souls. Chose this life, this country, this race, this human form, specifically… I always wonder why I’m born in Malaysia, as a white girl, with Chinese mom and Indian grandparents and Brazilian dad. Ms James’ remarks have been met with anger, as many Malaysians have stood in solidarity with black Americans and their fight against systemic racism. One person said in a comment: “While you may mean well, you’ve made some grave errors that are both disrespectful and hurtful in the extreme. African Americans have not been treated with anything near equality for close to 400 years.” Another said: “Actually embarrassing, I can’t imagine telling black people to ‘relax’ and take the fact that they’re getting killed by the very people who swore to protect and serve them as a challenge. Kindly delete your story posts and take a moment to consider something outside your own little bubble of privilege.” The Miss Universe Malaysia Ogranisation released a statement on the issue, saying: “Miss Universe Malaysia Organisation (MUMO) notes with dismay the recent social media posts made by Samantha Kate James, a past winner of Miss Universe Malaysia. We also note that these posts are inappropriate, offensive, unacceptable and hurtful. "The views expressed on Samantha’s personal Instagram account are her own personal views and are neither the view nor position of MUMO. Samantha Katie James is not contracted to MUMO and has not represented the organisation since June 2018. “MUMO stands for a non-racial society and strongly condemns all acts of racism and prejudice anywhere in the world.” ........................ I think enough said. The article is quite self explanatory.

@IJB063 If you need more evidence, look at Dylan Roof. His victims families forgave him. That was astonishing. Because what he did was unthinkable.

What truth?

@IJB063 I can't have sympathy for her. Because she doesn't know how to put things. Instead of saying "your situation will make you stronger and you will win" which is the right way of showing stoicism. She on the other hand is coming off as completely callous and insensitive. You mean to say that black people aren't strong. Black people are probably the strongest people in human history. They had to take so much shit and they still survived. They survived more discrimination and injustice on planet earth. How can someone even tell a black person to be strong is beyond me. People have to be grateful that it's black people who got discriminated because they tend to suffer in silence they are more forgiving and they don't bear animosity despite their cruel experiences. Yet if it was any other human race facing this level of injustice, there would have been a nuclear war. Black people take a lot of shit day in day out and stay strong. That woman's post was rightfully criticised. If she is not a black person and doesn't identify with their struggles, maybe it's not her pejorative to preach on how black people ought to react. . When a person is feeling victimized, the last thing you could say to them is "take it as a challenge" instead of giving validation to their struggles. If her intentions were pure and she only meant the best and not rubbing salt into wounds, then her choice of words was really poor. She could have worded it differently Like Be strong and resilient. Be stoic. But keep fighting and don't lose heart. Instead she said "best you can do is" which means she thinks or assumes that the best that black people are supposed to do is suck it up and stay strong and don't end up being too damaged. Sorry but I am not seeing any positive connotation in those words. And if I'm being so triggered despite not being a black person, I can only imagine how a black person must feel after reading it. Don't overestimate peoples good intent..

It's an awful post. Had it been her own child born in poverty and facing discrimination would she have said the same thing? I don't think so. People can use rosy words to downplay someone's suffering. It's shows their callousness. How different is it if a person said to a rape victim. "you were chosen to be raped. Relax, take it as a challenge. You have to learn a lesson. Rape always exists. It's inevitable. Best you can do is remain calm, protect heart, not allow it to crumble. That's your responsibility." I'll end with this thought in my mind. Brave people bring justice. Insensitive people bring excuses.

Hmm. It's not just one cop killing a black person.. It's a trend, a series of incidents where black people are disproportionately harassed and targeted by the police and then killed. It has reached a level where something needs to be done about it on a serious level. At this point black people would be less likely to think of essential services and more about their most basic rights like the right to life. And they are completely justified in their Protests. They have no obligation to think of essential services when their lives at risk almost on a daily basis.

@Parththakkar12 because I'm a citizen. You forget that it's a democracy. The government has a constitutional obligation to listen to people. Otherwise the democracy can be safely disbanded and jungle rule can begin if the government doesn't listen anyway then its no different from a dictatorship.

Hahaha. I'm laughing. Protests means they aren't going to put up with nuisance. Protests are the reason why they opened the Arbery case. Protests are the reason why Obama called for police to start using bodycam. I don't believe in protests that leads to violence and someone innocent losing their lives. But protesting is important and can be done in non violent ways. It's about showing diffidence and raising awareness.

Not really very ambiguous as you would like it to be. So you automatically assume that it's all for all the mothers and sisters. And not for their brothers? It's for collective survival and not just the survival of women. Women also have died during pregnancies to bear you children.. Women take care of families and raise families sometimes sacrificing their health. Done deal? I thought you weren't about stereotypical gender roles. And who can say men fighting war is not for their own machismo and ego. Just like men who defend and serenade women because they wanna be seen as white knights. Not men think this way. A lot of men assume themselves to be darwanistically more important but I hear your epiphany. I didn't say it's an evil cabal. But men want to set the rules. They want to be the commanders. That's why women were historically oppressed. Gulp down the truth. Yea you mean women just love to play victim for their own imperative. Nope. Women have been victimized and denied their own freedom for the benefit of men. This is a fact that is being proved in the times we are living in. Today lesser and lesser men find women. Because most women who are independent and free want their own lives and not be sacrificed for the biological imperative. We don't have to break our bellies to give your children. We can live our lives without being mothers. Without being your sex providers. Without being your girlfriends and wives. And the simple reason women feel victimized is because they were never prioritized. Their lives all along were about the priorities of men. Men who wanted sex, children by any means they could. And that involved domination and suppression of the vagina. How else are you gonna get it? You and Arthur say this. I spend my own money. I don't care what he thinks. Arthur died in 1860. That wasn't a society that supported women doing jobs and raising children on their own. Unwed mothers were sent to institutions. You quoting him is laughable. Maybe learn to live in 21st century reality. You are probably still living in 18th. No woman is acting entitled. Women are living their own lives. Sometimes men can't handle that. And only some men. Much better men out there who support women and their empowerment. This is again 18th century thinking, or even far before in time, you have no clue to make such absolute assumptions about women. That's your red pill brain on steroids. Women have already done a decent job since the turn of the 20th century after their freedom from emancipation. All this bullshit thoughts are nothing but radical ideologies. Grow out of it. Accept new reality. Men who think like this is the reason women were oppressed. But the new generation of woke men see equal potential in women and support their growth and Flourishing. I respect Camille Paglia and her "take responsibility" feminism. But I don't take this quote. At some point in the future, women will outpace men and society will realize the futility of such quotes /thoughts. I'm not frothing at the mouth. You're suffering diarrhea. Because you can't see women doing better. So there has to be a flaw in women and somehow it has to be justified. It's the Diarrhea of your self bias . Please don't use just stupid analogies. Animals in general is fine. But specific animals and applying to humans is stupid..You do know that different animals behave differently. Let's take the example of male lions. They can kill cubs to the female in heat. Do human males do that, nope. Then why all these bullshit studies on animals and then applying them to inappropriately to humans. It's just ridiculous. Monkeys are monkeys. Humans and humans. Im not even going to read that. Don't tell me what feminists. You have been purely tripped by feminists.. There are ideological male hating feminists just like there are ideological female hating sexist. They are the part of the same bunch. I relate to none of it. Healthy men and healthy women are not images of feminists and sexists..so this argument is invalidated. I don't care what feminist goes out there and tries to chimp men. She is just the female version of the male oppressor. Sam Harris, Anita Sarkeesian. These people only exist to trigger people with their extreme opinions. In real life, it's nothing like what they want you to believe. In simple words, they are drama queens who make a mountain out of a molehill. I used to follow some of these youtubers 3 years ago. But thanks to my American woke ex, he opened my eyes to all this bullshit and now I just call it misinformation propaganda machine.. They bank on extreme sentiment and make dollars out of it.. Old thinking. Men conditioned women to be dominated because that's what they wanted. Today a lot of men don't need to dominate women. But some still try. Nobody says that. This is the reason why you should be neutral. I have always supported gender neutrality. Putting women on a pedestal leads to princess syndrome. I get that men need validation for their biological imperative success, but strong men have a nerve and they don't fall for silly bullshit of "support because she is a woman" only men who have no basal integrity will do that. And feminists who want or demand undying obedience from men are stompers. They don't represent real femininity. They represent only femaledom. Good for you.

@Amit this discussion isn't about porn.. I like to stay on topic

What patterns, "that woman want domination and controlling abusive men"? Then it's not a philosophy at all. It's just self development to get better in dating just like women who try to look attractive to men by improving their looks and personality. But you do know that red pill isn't as simple as self development. Why are you diluting? If the core theme of Red Pill was to be better men, then where do all these sexist misogynistic views come from? You mean they aren't red pillers. Then who are they? Are you attempting to sanitize red pillers by saying they are just self actualizing dudes nothing more. I don't think so. It's a philosophy with a set of beliefs and not just a gym. I never said that those other philosophies aren't dangerous. But red pill belongs to the same league. Any philosophy that creates intense dissonance and hate is always dangerous. Not only is Red Pill dangerous for women because it breeds misogyny and validates it as scientific fact, it is also harmful for men because in their mind it normalizes the bad behavior of a low quality woman.. Because according to it, women are simply evil. This is harmful for the male psyche. That's why such men attract terrible relationships and if they don't, they aren't red pilled enough, they have only been a few inches down the rabbit hole, so they don't really embody the philosophy hence they don't represent the majority. I'm not lambasting men. I love men, nice men, good men, respectful men, I left an alpha abusive "red pill type" guy and found a wonderful amazing boyfriend who is very kind and respectful. I'm lambasting a toxic garbage radical philosophy that preys on vulnerable men. I gain nothing from hating men. I want men and women to be blissfully together. But red pill doesn't allow that, because they are a group of jealous, bitter hateful men who can't see successful men in successful relationships. They call respectful men beta and shame them. My guy is not beta, he is just a good guy.

How do you know this is the truth? Whatever they say about female nature, it doesn't apply to me at all or to any female I've known. Their opinions on women are very low. It's like they don't even know women. Maybe they're fucking lampposts before. Social conditioning stems from men's egoic needs. Society was constructed for what men wanted. If it had run according to woman's wishes, things today would have been very different. Maybe all these whiny alphas would have gotten some females by now. Real woman is not a social convention. A real woman is conscious just like a real man. A real woman leads people to become more conscious just like the real man. People who are low quality play games. People who are high quality bring value. There is no social convention in this. It's not about gender roles. It's about being a true authentic person. Most red pillers believe in manipulation. That's not authenticity. They have had bad experiences.. I am doubtful if they even had an experience to begin with. With women growing more and more conscious of sexism every day, alpha sexist men are languishing in the alleys. If I'm shaming these men, they are doing the same thing, they are shaming women. When a person makes his opinion based on trauma, it can't be taken as objective. Because his emotional agenda is involved in it. Pfft. Tell me when someone says something when they are clear headed and not in traumatized states.. You're calling it the truth. Doesn't make it the truth. Plus I'm a woman. I can tell that their opinions on women are all garbage.. I refer to the places where I got my information about redpill. You gotta be kidding if you backpedal and don't agree with it. Some red pills - from an article. women don’t want soft-centred men/chocolates; they want to be dominated, controlled, and manipulated. The most extreme Red Pillers even believe that women want to be raped. (hahahaha, women don't want to be controlled, so wrong) “Rejection is not rejection,” reads an extract from the subreddit’s most popular post. “When a woman insults you, belittles you, mocks you, or says something provocative to get a reaction — these are all examples of active tests.” By following the subreddit’s advice, its subscribers are promised a life of successful sexual encounters. If they ignore the Red Pill, they will undoubtedly be rejected, cheated on, and dumped. (men get cheated on because they choose low quality women. High quality women don't cheat just like a high quality men) they are based on beliefs like all women cheat, they like cheating, and all women are not loyal,” explains João. “There’s this whole conspiracy thing where women are against you, they are this imagined enemy… as well as there’s a whole conspiracy that society is against men, that society is anti-male so to speak, that liberals are messing up society, that feminism is messing up society. (if this is what red pill believes then I'm rightful in shaming these men because they are trying to create a gender divide) Beliefs such as “all women are evil” and “all women cheat” are what are known as conspiracy stereotypes. Like traditional conspiracy theories, they often rely on cherry-picked evidence. The Red Pill in particular exploits evolutionary psychology to argue that women are wired to want men with a strong “frame”. Much of the subreddit’s misogyny is justified by one of their favourite acronyms, AWALT: “all women are like that (no buddy, all women are not like that. Men and women can both be awesome if they decide to) “They feel the world is divided into absolute good and absolute evil, and the people behind the conspiracies are of course the absolute evil ones,” he says. Psychologists have a concept, entitativity, which describes the extent to which a group of people are perceived as a single entity. “If you think that a group is entitative, it’s like a swarm of bees or ants,” Wood explains. “They’re not just a collection of individuals, they’re actually that a single organism that moves with singular purpose. I think that’s probably likely to be true for groups like the Red Pill, that look at women and see just a flock of harpies.” (hahaha) Subscribers’ experiences in the real world can reinforce their misogynistic views. Trevor*, a 34-year-old former Red Piller, explains how the subreddit led him to towards more extreme views of women. (so basically red pill is all about hating women because they got rejected. And yes they are not supposed to be shamed. I guess they are supposed to be worshipped) “When I was 30, I broke up with a woman who was just not a very good person,” he tells me over Skype. “I broke up with her one the phone…20, 30 minutes later she shows up [to my apartment] completely hysterical. I remember I had a large metal tin bowl with potatoes on the counter which I was going to cook for dinner or something, and she grabs it, chucks the potatoes all through the apartment… her shirt catches on a corner of a countertop and then she proceeds to tear the rest of it off like Hulk Hogan.” When Trevor decided to call the police, it was he that ended up arrested. “I went from being in my home peacefully to being in a jail cell all because I’m a man and she’s a woman. “Now that was a very immoral human being who I was dealing with, certainly not all women are like that but that’s another brainwashing technique of the Red Pill, they say that all women are the same… (yea basically red pill says all women are evil.) “It kind of tricks you so you’re agreeing about one thing and the next thing you know you’re agreeing about all these other things.” These “tricks” aren’t accidental, according to João in Portugal, who now firmly believes that the Red Pill is akin to a cult. (not surprising) “If you go to Red Pill and you say something that those guys don’t really like then they will just delete your comments or just say that you are a ‘mangina’ or a ‘feminist’ or a c’,” he told me. “They have this social influence mechanism where they pre-emptively invalidate all criticism by criticising people back… and it is typical of cults to do this.” Other Red Pillers I spoke to also mentioned the threat of harassment. João also believes the Red Pill preys on those who are easily manipulated – be they young, nerdy, insecure, virgins, or simply going through a difficult time in life. Most of the ex-Red Pillers I spoke to were teenagers when they became involved in the subreddit, and most say they were exceptionally lonely at the time. (nerdy insecure virgins, so was I right when I said that they didn't even have a woman) “I worried that I wasn’t thin enough, I wasn’t tall enough, I wasn’t endowed enough,” he tells me over Reddit. “I started getting very bitter about relationships in general. At no point was I ever actually angry or bitter towards women, but I was frustrated with the established societal rules, that men had to put on the show and be the best they could and that women got to pick and choose without trying much themselves, and I wasn’t being picked. (ahh, this is the truth. Life is unfair. Even women get rejected. Have you seen nature videos. The female selects a male with better traits for her children. If a woman has a upper hand in dating, it's evolution. Accept that and improve yourself rather than being bitter about it) When I turned to the Red Pill subreddit I immediately felt like I figured it out. Like a cult, they give you a few obvious truths (men should be more confident, work towards physical fitness, women aren’t divine perfect beings to be worshipped but flawed people, etc.). I definitely think that this enabled me to slide into accepting the more toxic beliefs of the subreddit. “Any time someone said something outright sexist or alarming, too much for me, others would interject and say that those are just being angry and we should let them vent.” (when angry men say something, it's never true) Over the last year, the Red Pill subreddit has become a home for other hateful beliefs. A year ago, the alt-right’s most vocal figurehead, Milo Yiannopoulous, did an AMA (“ask me anything”) on the sub. It is now commonly accepted that the alt-right recruited men from the Red Pill and attempted to radicalise them. In fact, the alt-right has become so conflated with the Red Pill that this month a brand new subreddit – the Red Pill Right – had to be made. “My focus with this new sub is to keep us from diluting the discussion of sexual strategy on our main sub,” wrote its creator. (hate attracts hate, again no surprise) But how has a place designed for discussions about sex and women become so radically political? “That is the power of the ideology,” explains Jack, the British Red Piller. “It gives you a lens that brings out the most cynical explanation of social activities… For a while, it seemed as if a blindfold was lifted and I saw manipulation everywhere.” Jack became involved with the Red Pill when he was 23, and had been single for a “long” time. “I was numb, lonely and desperate,” he says. “It was a terrible time in my life.” Though Jack only spent two months on the subreddit, he quickly fell in with anti-feminist and libertarian rhetoric. “An uncomfortable misogynistic streak grew within me,” he says. “At one point thought that Donald Trump was a good candidate for President.” Tim*, a 22-year-old from New Zealand, believes that subreddit didn’t lead him to become a misogynist because he was already interested in progressive and feminist politics. He found the sub when he was 16. “I’m not very good at following my nose in those sorts of situations,” he says. “I can’t dance for instance, because I have no idea what specifically to do, so anything without a ‘rulebook’ is pretty much impossible for me. “I spent so long searching for my ‘rulebook’ until I realised that it’s doesn’t exist, no one seems to have any clue what makes a relationship happen. It kinda drives you mad thinking like that, that you’re the only person in the world who doesn’t ‘get it’. Tim says that the fact he has always been friends with women might have meant he wasn’t convinced by the group’s misogyny. “It’s possible to accept that you’ll be alone forever, and accept that you’re very unhappy about that, without becoming hateful or misogynistic. But it seems like everyone kind of forgets that,” he says. João says he left the Red Pill because he was attracting girls that were “emotionally damaged” and not “mentally healthy”. He also felt like its advice didn’t really work. “I was going out to bars to talk to women and I would have to talk with like literally like 100 girls just to pick up one, so the whole thing is a numbers game, a probability thing,” he says. He now considers himself a feminist and has a “fantastic girlfriend” who he has been with for nearly three years. Red pill shames and demonizes women. . Yea, in short ego games. Most red pillers stereotype women. It's a radical philosophy.

Imo.... Not saying this is the general opinion or this is how it is. Redpill = sexist male bullshit. These are male sexism apologists. They will do anything to not change their minds. And they have existed since time immemorial. These are not quality people with quality relationships. The get their ideas about women from low quality relationships.. They use it to generalize all women. Male female dynamics go deep and a lot to do with social conditioning along with biology. Most of these men do not have or never had a functional relationship with a woman. A real woman.. There is one simplest way to debunk all you have written trying to pass it of as truth Any man with a working functional relationship with a woman and who doesn't need looks or money to attract women, will he ever join the following groups? PUAs (pick you artists - guys who try to bang a bunch of women) -MRAs (men’s rights activists - I think this kinda fits into the red pill a little) -Incels (involuntary celibates - basically virgins) -MGTOWs (men going their own way - men who don’t associate with women) The flat out answer is no. Because a happy man doesn't need to have theories on how women are. He cares more about being happy with her rather than thinking about how to keep her or himself happy.. All these groups represent frustrated and bitter men who seek a justification for their frustration through a Twisted philosophy to match their inner state of mind.. It's Called self deception not truth. Self deception masquerading as truth. It's like the tale of the fox and the grapes. If the grapes are out of reach, the fox automatically assumes the grapes aren't worth eating because they are sour anyway. Same thing. These men find a way to pigeonhole women into character roles so that they can legitimize their lack of success. They are unable to accept that they are fundamentally lacking something that creates a lacuna in their relationships. So to round it off, they go around spewing their sexist philosophy to avoid having to justify the lack of sustaining and healthy relationship with a female in their lives. So what do they do? They turn into womanizers and then justify it so that they don't have to feel guilty about having shitty one night stands with women. All the science they speak of based on empirical evidence acquired from relationships with a low quality crowd. If they have to be with a high conscious high quality woman, they will get instantly rejected and they will never stand a chance. Obviously they won't even try and try to make the woman look unattractive to justify them being rejected.. All these men have to do is work harder on their manhood and be good quality men in the first place to attract good quality women. But they don't wanna do that. They don't want to change. So they take the short cut and blame everything on women and gender politics, feminism and biology. God made men and women perfect in their biologies. And good men understand this biology and don't exploit it, but rather align with it. The left over men are not interested in understanding the biology of a woman and they bring up distorted theories to suit their worldview.. Red pill is garbage and red pill is lies.. And the matrix analogy is simply to make it look new-agey. Red pill is the most dangerous philosophy in the world that consumes men and makes them toxic. If you want happiness, then don't fall into it.

@Igor82 Seems like you're using her as a crutch and at some point she has realized this and that's why she repels you like hot coal. But if you're like a person who totally wants her for your survival meanwhile she lives her best life, this parasitic relationship won't last long. The best idea is not to see how things will work but to drop it. There is no harmony or alignment in this relationship. All I see is problems of the ego draining the joy the relationship possibly could have created. You will need a heavy dose of self acceptance and self love.. You're latched onto her like a lackey who sees her existence as a means of accepting the self. This won't work. If you guys get together, your problems will get bigger, it's like fanning the flames rather than calming the flames. You have got some serious issues with self acceptance, it comes across as self hate. You are just 17. Maybe you judge yourself too much. You have a long way to go. At this age you wouldn't know much about the world and hence your vulnerability is attracting someone to rely on and she has sensed it over time. Also you are putting all of your hard emotions on her. This can be hard for her to deal with because at her age, she would only want peace. This relationship is based on false expectations and is bogus. It's your mind convincing you that it's something good, in reality it is blocking your path of self development and for her, it is a distraction and an unnecessary thing she has grown to and just allowed to drag on with her. So the best way is to leave this relationship and focus on your self development, key areas being self love and self esteem and self compassion. Self acceptance and ego transcendence. And once you reach a pretty decent level on the self actualization scale, you'll meet someone who reciprocates your love and neediness equally and is totally happy with you. But right now you will need to uproot this neediness with self love and be emotionally independent and responsible for your emotions. This is the best advice I can give..

A few pointers from your post. I'm getting all sorts of disconnected thoughts and Tidbits from your post that I'll assemble here.. Because your post does not appear very lucid to me. A lot of the stuff looks like rambling, repetition and less details. And when I answer threads, I'm absolutely honest, because there's no point in being dishonest. So coming to the pointers. It seems like she is not really happy with you and you seem to be trying too hard to convince her that you love her and at the same time you kinda take her for granted and end up saying something hurtful to her in the name of radical honesty. Honesty is good and women appreciate genuine emotions but don't expect women to laud you and hug after hearing some bitter honesty from your mouth. If the truth hurts then it hurts and she is right in expressing her upset or hurt. You have to be a bit open about exactly what you say that's hurtful to her. Whether it's radical honesty or not, can be decided later. Because a lot of guys use the garb of honesty to just hurt. You're too young for not only this relationship given the age difference but even young for relationships in general. I don't want to say that you're a kid, but when I was 17, I could not have imagined a serious mature relationship, maybe nothing beyond a crush. The human mind grows so much from the ages of 17 to 25,who knows how your state of mind will be at that age I am very different than who I was at 17. Priorities change significantly. Her issue of not committing. To me that's a sign that she really doesn't want this relationship but cannot say no to you. Maybe she is infatuated with you. She sees you as desirable yet she doesn't see a future with you. Maybe that has to do with your age. She probably thinks you are too young to commit to and her Insecurities being that you might start dating women your age a few years down if she really plans to commit. There has to be an Insecurity that is blocking her from being in the relationship on a serious level. That's why she didn't have sex again. When women don't have sex sometimes it's a signal that they really don't wanna get too deep into it. Your flaws as you admit might either magnify or shrink, there is no telling what course your state of mind is going to take. She doesn't want to lose the chance of having the attention of a younger man but at the same time she doesn't want to hurt you by committing and later breaking up. So long term this relationship will see a demise. Her interactions over time can become less interesting. So why let it go there. This relationship doesn't look like fruitful in the long term. In fact it looks very fragile and non committal to me. Your mom is also probably right She is successful in other areas of her life, smart and independent, but you've just started life, this gives her further reason to not rely much on you. Maybe she liked the sex and just like the lsd she does, a few sexual trips with you will also do her good. She seems to be holding the cards in the relationship. Nothing much can be done. You have to eventually forget her. She is not a serious relationship but just a fling To be very honest, a standard relationship does not begin with both people clueless about the future and no desire to be with each other. Saying things like "I can't promise you" is already a dead end a red flag. Lovers more than anything are very eager to show commitment lest they lose the partner to someone else, most lovers are already planning on being with each other with a lot of zeal and excitement. She is giving a cold response like a dead fish. Then she backpedals and probably doesn't want to lose you so she sort of comes up with this thought that something is possible, yada yada, this is her confusing you and giving you a justification for alll that confusion. A woman of her age cannot be very confused, so to me she is just bluffing. She wants you around but she wants to already ensure that at some point you know that this is not going anywhere so she doesn't feel responsible in any way. That's why she is covering her base. I'd say that you need to make up your mind. You can take her as a fling, maybe for a few months enjoy her company but then get prepared to forget her. Because she is not at all serious about this however you are hopelessly seeking her Also the fact that you took a break from her. I don't know how to feel about that. I have never taken a break in any of the relationships I had. There was just no need to. The break signifies that you guys are not too attached, not as much as you would want to believe

Is this OCD?