Preety_India

I forget to charge my phone and laptop.

I have realized that there is a linear relationship between growth and environment. A pro growth environment is conducive to both general needs and individual needs.. For example, Asian kids (when I say Asian, I am also referring to myself because I'm Asian as well) tend to be more resentful of their parents as compared to western kids because of lack of opportunities and freedom. They also tend to get more territorial in their teens. If you create an environment that is toxic or not conducive to your specific or individual as well as general needs, then you can't have a normal growth. You could turn out dysfunctional.

Yea that's a good point.

@Leo Gura people are also capable of repeating the same offenses and crimes. Where do you draw the line and how?

Criminal records are absolutely important. If I were an employer I wouldn't risk employing a person with a criminal record, because I don't want to lose my hard work, I don't want my business to suffer, I don't want my credentials to be tarnished, my service quality to deteriorate and create a safety concern for my other hard working employees. Maybe this is just my orange brain at work but I shouldn't be judged for wanting the best for my business. I can't be expected to be Green when it comes to crime and criminal records. I have to find a wholesome balance between Green and Orange here Of course I'm empathetic in other areas of life, and I embody Green but I am also a savvy Orange when it comes to professionalism and getting stuff done. I think criminal records are absolutely essential for Business, especially small businesses Relationships. You don't want to be misled or lied to If you renting your home to someone. You might want to know their background. I think the solution can be creating government owned business or non profit businesses that give opportunities to people with a criminal past. But normal everyday folks should not be expected to suffer or pay the price for someone else's karma. This is just my opinion. Doesn't mean that I don't want former criminals to be accommodated. But not at an expense.

You have to ask yourself this question whether growth is genuinely happening or not. Now sometimes you might have to pay a price for growth. Like lose a little bit to have that growth. But sometimes you have to ask yourself Am I really growing? Or Am I declining in my growth? Am I failing to grow? Sometimes you could be very wishy washy means you are just failing to grow. You just ain't growing neither declining, just empty and flat, not growing at all. You are like an empty box. You should always track your growth curve. Failing is ok. It's important to fail and make mistakes. You could chart your growth curve in many phases ? Flourishing or Growing. Active vigorous growth ? Plateau ? Empty.... Zero initial growth. No growth. Just at zero stage. Null ? Declining ? Failing, making mistakes (this is more like learning than Flourishing.

Just being conscious and sophisticated is not enough. It's also important to be loving. When people are racist to each other it means a lot of things It means they are not conscious enough It means that they are not loving enough It means that they are not empathetic enough. They are sort of either indifferent or just cold hearted or simply stone cold as a habit. Sometimes high on the autism spectrum. Or have anti-social or social anxiety disorder. Many things can explain a lack of sociable - ness. Lack of empathy can be a genuine sociopathy or psychopathy or simply an Incapability like a mental disorder or deficit. They are ignorant or not tactful. They end up sounding offensive without actually intending to offend. They lack tact They are genuinely ignorant like they don't know much so they make generalizations or rely too much on stereotypes. They are Dogmatic. They are stuck in stage Blue dogma.

In my opinion white people are the least racist in the world. This is just my experience. Whenever I experienced racism, it was always mostly from non white races. Whereas with white people, there was more acceptance. One thing that I noticed about white people although this is not true for all of them, is that they are very authentic. They are not dishonest. They are not playing games. They say what they feel and what they mean, straight to the face. They are not pussyfooting around things. They really mean what they want. This is a trait I always admire. Whereas with all other non white races, I kinda got the feeling of fakery and pretentiousness. But again this is just my experience

There is also a curious benefit to racism and bias It's true friendship. When you know that someone cares about you and the whole community of different people don't , you win for yourself a true friend. Because this person doesn't hold bias. They like you for who you are. They are with you all life.. You know that they are real. They aren't being superficial like the people at the party trying to lick each other's asses. They are being real and true to you. Who wants fake people, even if they are nice and sweet? Not me. I always go for the real ones. I have very few friends. But they are not racist and they really care and accept me. They are nice to me. Recently I found a Portuguese group online. They are very kind to me. They like me a lot. I feel very accepted in their group. It's a nice feeling. That's why I am also trying to learn Portuguese. I want to be able to talk to them like them. Haha. Maybe some day I will. But these people really like me. Does help me because I share some Portuguese and Spanish genetics. So maybe that's what helps me get along with them. I am generally a social person. It's just that when I see people rubbing me the wrong way or not appreciating me enough, that I get all cranky and crabby, like all the tentacles suddenly grow on me. And then I close off... Like whoooosh!!!

I have never judged a person on their race and hopped to conclusions on the basis of what culture race or country they belong to. If I had to judge people and hold biases, I would have never been able to stay in interracial relationships. When I was in a relationship with Joseph, I didn't even think of him as a white man, that thought never even crossed my mind. But Joseph would constantly refer to my race, calling me "third world piece of shit"..... I distinctly remember that. Because he would say it every other week. I used to be surprised that he was so sensitive to my race, to me being from a different culture, when I never thought that way about him. For me he was just a regular human being devoid of any special attachments. He was the first person in my life who made me racially aware. Very racially aware. Very very racially aware. First time in my life, I realized that I was Indian, and I was from a different country. First time I felt like it was me versus him instead of me and him. A hallmark of a good interracial relationship is when the couple never bring up race. Because they don't need to and don't have to. Not everything is race. Race is just a filter, a layer. Beneath this layer is a real person, a person who yearns to be understood, loved, cared, accepted. And this is the universal heart beneath that veneer of race, culture, religion. Just a simple human beating heart. Our minds are corrupt and full of unconscious biases that we ingrained from childhood, from others, from history books, from parents, from friends, from our genetics. A really conscious person is someone who is woke, someone who understands that this rewiring of the human brain has happened over years and how it can be unraveled and replaced with new wiring. The world will get closer one day. It will be united in love. That's just my hope. And racists will be left behind.

There's a difference between constantly looking for validation and looking for acceptance in a community like the rest of the people. Looking for validation in a degrading way can be a sign of low self esteem. People often conflate the two. I'm not looking for validation. But let's say I get invited to a party of international people of all races. They serve chocolates to everyone except me, they laugh with everyone but when I try to laugh with them, they suddenly act like they didn't hear me or simply ignore me all the time, that's not me seeking fucking validation from people. It's just me feeling like not being accepted. And it's valid for me to go home and cry a little. And that's a kind of racism you can't really complain about. (but that's when you know that people don't want you because of your race, not because there is a problem with you, but because people don't see you as "inclusive", they don't perceive you as one of their own) Racism will not go away with complaining and barking at people who mistreat you. Racism lies in the thought. You can get rid of racism in action. But not racism in thought. you can't change how some people think. If they have ignorant thoughts, you can't go around schooling people. If we need real change and equality and love and acceptance for everyone, then we need to change the thought. Because a bad thought is a crime. A wrong thought is a crime. Hate begins with a thought, a feeling. The crime starts in the thought. And then turns into action. Bias also begins in a thought. It's upto a person to change their thinking. Not upto me to school anyone. When you decide that you need to change your thought and change your bias that you hold against someone, only then a real change happens. I sometimes wish that we as human race were just one race, one country, one religion, one culture. Maybe God had different plans. Maybe God wanted to show us our own different versions and the irony and stupidity of hating each other. God wanted some comedy.

Maybe when people don't appreciate me, I also feel negative. Valid? I can be friendly too. If people had an open door and an open heart. I don't like to be judged. Fair enough. And when people ignore me but don't ignore others I explicitly see that. I mean I have eyes and a brain. It's not like I don't see. Fuck people. Someone has been barking for last 3 days - probably me. Often times people say some racist bullshit to me and annoy me and later apologize to me in private messages. Like who cares.

That's not a definition of simp. Also nothing wrong with wanting or chasing women. Don't rely on people's definitions. People always need something to criticise and pick on. Whatever you do, even if it's zigzag, it's a process of growth. There are always growing pains. A simp is a man who is extremely submissive to a woman, and let's her have full control, doesn't stand up to her bad behavior, all of this to impress her, aka he is her puppy dog. You're just looking for female company because you don't have one physically. That's not a simp.

I'm just so fed up with myself. There's just no reason for me to be so lazy. Just no reason. I'm so fed up.

Sometimes I just give into bouts of self pity.

Warning - not for kids.

????????????????????????????????????? I just love this guy. M gonna spit my drink.

@Raze so you mean to say, in other words, police brutality should be swallowed just because we want cops to stay on their jobs Let me give you an example to help you understand your error in thinking. Assume that an innocent person has been sent to prison. Now after some prosecutorial misconduct has been unearthed, the prosecutor in the case has been held to task for his actions. The investigation team involved in the case has been fired for the laziness in analyzing evidence. The police has been fired for their shoddy work at the crime scene. All the people held accountable or fired are extremely depressed. The public has developed resentment toward the justice system because their expectations have been unfulfilled and having sent an innocent person to the death row has intensely angered them. Now let's assume that there has been an uptick in such cases. More innocent persons are being sent to the death row because police are always in a hurry to get their job done and the forensic team does sloppy work to finish it so they don't have work long hours so they write up false reports and results. They don't do their work right. The system at the top realizes that this is huge problem and they decide to weed out all the bad apples one by one to make the system more reliable, robust, not sloppy and to create a strong work ethic devoid of laziness and corruption and malpractice. A lot of the cops see this as a restraining move and they start to resign. People don't want to become cops because they find the job too tough or they don't pass the requirements needed to do the job proper and honestly. Even forensic investigators are resigning and new recruits are being reluctant to join because they can't pass the rigorous standards required to do the work honestly. Right now it's a period of recession in the justice system because of these issues. But the justice system nevertheless doesn't want to compromise with their quality of work despite the Scarcity in manpower. They are determined to get rid of the bad apples once and for all. Now gradually there are people who are devoted and they are passionate about honest work and serving the system. So they join. Gradually the justice system is back on its feet and strong again. This time however they have the most honest hardworking people in their group and no bad apples and hence significantly lower number of innocent convicted. The faith of the public is once again restored in the justice system. Realize that there is always a phase of upheaval before a revolution. This Demonization of the cops is a part of this change process. It will give way to a system that has aligned itself to Change. For creating lasting change, upheaval is necessary. But through all this negative phase, something good will come. The good that will come will be better than the past. It's important to remove the bad apples. In the process, sometimes all apples will get impacted. But this phase is gone and adjustments or improvements made, those same apples will be restored once again. We have to go through extreme loss or despair before we can finally see sunshine As much as it looks like it's breaking down the Morale of the cops, this is just a part of a bigger change. It's a message that bad apples will not be tolerated and once the bad apples are being taken care of sufficiently, the system will come back to its original stability. In this process some collateral damage will occur and is reasonably acceptable. This collateral damage will not last forever. But it's important to not sabotage the process of change only because you want the system to not look unstable. When you feel that the system will collapse, This is a fear arising out of Catastrophizing and is basically a fear and Insecurity grounded in survival of the status quo and letting the system to continue even at the expense of allowing bad things to still happen. Cops are responsible for the stereotype they create about them. Notice that the public did not create a bad image for cops. In fact people had huge respect for cops until now when their abuse and corruption got exposed. Maybe power and adoration went to their head? The bad image of cops was created by cops themselves by their own acts. They dug their own grave.

I want to just throw out all the toxic garbage out of me. Feels very good after exhaustive venting of all the crap that I been put through.

There is a difference rape and sex. Between being free about your sexuality and being sexually indecent. I want to vent out so much that there is hardly any time.

You just have to feel your feelings and feel them thoroughly.

@JessiChell ❤️

How to deal with the situation when someone is being racist to you. There's no point in whining about it.. Be with people who are warm and accepting. Try to understand that there are both ways of looking at life and things. One way is the meta. That is looking at the bigger picture. I tried to look up any antonym for meta and I couldn't find one. Found somewhere this word that can partially do the job of an antonym. The word is proto. So understand that you have to switch between two perspectives or methods here One is going Meta Second is going proto The reason you feel dejected is because you are always trying to go meta. Try going proto. Think from a cultural perspective. People are born to be divided. This is an aspect of the world we see. Let's say if women don't like shorter men, there's nothing that can be done about it. You can't take a person to court because they don't accept you. You just have to learn with time that certain things are a certain way..

Some people on this forum are racist to me. I have realized that after some interaction. I can sense awkwardness when I sense it. I just know how things work. If someone is in their race, they don't say sexual things to them.. But there is always a need in such men to either denigrate me or turn a foreign woman into a whore. This is what racists typically do. They always find a way to degrade a woman they hate. And they usually don't want to appear offensive. Because they know others will read that. So they use sarcastic language to get by. And since I'm not of their race, I don't understand what they mean so I lose obviously. I have just decided that it's best to keep to myself. If someone doesn't like you, you can't do anything about it. You can't make them to like you. If someone doesn't respect you because of your race, you just have to let it go. And be true to yourself. And don't care what they think. This was always my way. I was always alone in the end. Don't ask for love and respect or acceptance even if you crave it. Just be you. Remember those who are true will always be true. Those who are fake, will always be fake. And those who carry a bias about you in their mind, I mean fuck them, who cares. Let them suffer the fruits of their own bias. You create your world and invite those who you wanna spread your love to.

I need to work on my self pity issues. I sometimes tend to self deprecate a lot.