Preety_India

The gist of everything is this ?If you have love in your heart, you will attract love and so you will attract God. If not then you won't. ? I'm a part of you and you're a part of me. This is non duality. When I become a part of you, all judgement stops.

Wherever there is lack of empathy growth stops.

I'm just too self destructive. I really need to work on this.. Because I'm getting tired of myself.. Been through way too much at a young age to feel normal anymore. I wish I wasn't living anymore. But whatever. I'm too done with everything. I want a new life.. A new day. A new way. A new start. I want to be done with parts of my past and present. I want to be done with the status quo.. I just want to be done with everything toxic. Sometimes I just feel like this life is not for me..

That guy Sam gives me a brain aneurysm. He is a massive deception in the garb of spiritual development. I absolutely hate that guy and his views. So myopic and lacking in absolute empathy. He is pure symbolism of western supremacy and Stage Orange garbage and constantly using rationality and reason and all bullshit facts to come up with his weird thought experiments and scenarios that are perfect for his selfish goals. He shouldn't have visited India. He gives Indian spirituality a bad name and is banking on it by marketing his meditation brand to people. Someone should tell him that meditation is not a business. He is not living in the richest neighborhoods for nothing. He has reduced to selling Sam Harris t shirts and mugs at conferences to generate money. I feel pity for those who follow Sam Harris in the name of rationality. Sam Harris is dangerous to humanity, his ideas are. He is a motherload of bad ideas and it's just a fact and it will corrupt the youth.. He is worse than Trump in my opinion, at least Trump signed the police reform executive order and Trump shows some empathy when police brutality happens. Humanity can do way better than all that logic nonsense. He doesn't even know what morality means. For him morality is so cutthroat and he has this horrible mentality of painting an entire race or culture with one brush. He will go down in history as the most myopic person in a modern century. 100 years later people will laugh at whatever he wrote. He is the sanitized version of George Zimmerman with a nice suit and a neuroscientist hat. Ben Affleck was very very right when he said to Sam Harris on the show "dude, you made a career out of Islam." People need to open their eyes to all this YouTube propaganda against race and religion . It's misinformation propaganda machine that he is a part of. Last time he was suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome TDS on Twitter. After that I never followed his Twitter feed again. It wasn't worth following in the first place. If you really want to follow someone on YouTube, first of all you have Leo Gura who is an excellent example of a very balanced person. And I'll suggest Carl Benjamin aka Sargon of Akkad, he is pretty balanced and not very extremist in his opinions. There is a difference between Sam Harris and Leo. Leo is awake. Sam Harris is not awake. Leo has even opened this politics segment on Actualized.org that didn't exist before because Leo understands the needs of the youth. Lots of young men and women like me and others who have political curiosities which is very healthy. The whole world talks about politics now, not just a group of men with beards. Leo understands the pulse of the youth. He doesn't want the young guys to be brainwashed leaning into mainstream political hogwash. He wants the youth to learn the right way of looking at politics, a holistic approach. This is helpful because if political curiosities of young people like 18 year olds is not addressed here, then they will go to places like Reddit or 4chan or lean into extremist opinions on YouTube. Thus they will get brainwashed by people with agenda and propaganda. Leo doesn't want that In a sense, Leo is doing God's work here. That's why Leo even allows trivial questions on politics from teenagers because he doesn't want to discourage them from thinking or questioning Sam Harris teaches you the lower truths. Leo teaches you the higher truths. It's important to learn the higher truths because we all serve a higher purpose. We are not simply surviving but also living and thriving And thriving needs true love and empathy for all in this world.

The breakdown of a relationship hurts but prolonging a toxic relationship is even worse

I mean what was left of my relationship with Joseph. It was ravaged by all problems and resentment and fallouts.

Sometimes being blunt is better than dealing with all the passive aggression.

June month is my purging month and all of this purging is slowly lifting all the burden.

Me and the likes of me are a forgotten species Because a plain Jane like me is not celebrated anymore. If I had to write a song then these would be my lyrics I'm feeling tired after hours of crying. I need to go back to sleep and forget that the world exists .

Political lobbying and corruption of the elite

This is to Joseph I cry as I write this. I really loved you. It was very hard breaking up with you. I never wanted to start another relationship. I always thought that you were my soulmate. I was extremely heart broken because I loved with all my soul, with all my heart. Yet you wouldn't stop attacking me. It's so hard that it had to end this way. I didn't want to dump you. I wanted our relationship to work. But you wouldn't stop hurting me. You were emotionally abusive. How can you not know that I was also a part of you. You found your way, but what about me? You think that you don't need to care about me but then why expect that something that you decided to throw away should become good again Why do men

You wouldn't say the same thing if you were at the receiving end of the cop's gun. Be careful what you wish for about the police. Don't give any system so much power that taking lives becomes an everyday reality. It might become as normal as sipping coffee at Starbucks. There can be practical ways to arrest people without dead bodies. Wearing bullet protection or bullet proof tactical gear, all over Investing more into the police Extra police officers for resistant and difficult arrests Body cameras banning choke holds, etc. Proper recruiting and training for a year, extensive checks on mental health. Weeding out racism and increased cultural awareness training Not making arrests just for the sake of a promotion or a pat on the back Letting go or arresting later if the suspect does not have a severe criminal record Creating trust with citizens rather than fear and paranoia Not writing up false reports or unnecessary additional charges Disciplinary action when excessive force is used Reasonable actions. No drinking on or off the job. That increases mental incapacity Mental health evaluation each month while on the job Checking background history of suspect before making an arrest Less racial profiling and racial sensitivity rather than focus on stereotype. Policing is not a video game turned into life. It's a serious and responsible duty, a very important job. It should be done properly and reform is absolutely important.

Last night I had a dream. A kinda weird one. I had rape fantasy about Andrew. Andrew just avoiding me at first. In the dream, me and Andrew aren't looking at each other and we still do, just in a way so that the other doesn't catch the one looking. And then he can't resist me anymore. He comes around and he is pissed off. I try not to look at him. And go about my work. Andrew just wants me bad. I know it. But something in me is mysterious. I don't want to feel like I am there. The dream is blurry. It's all messy and I only remember parts of it. And then in the dream, the scene suddenly changes to night. And then Andrew is still there. Looking at me intently. And he proceeds to grab me and gets rough with me. It feels like I'm asking Andrew to dominate me. Just rape me. In the end I am looking at Andrew, he is looking at me. And I wake up.

If anyone has ever taken or tried this plant called Ayahuasca or been to centers around Central, South America, could you describe how your experience was and how the trip felt. I'd love to know since I'm new to it and a bit curious. Would love to know an actual practical experience that someone on this forum had. Also if you had taken this plant, how has the trip changed your perspective towards life and world in general. This has been on my mind for some time so felt to ask here Would be a fascinating discussion. Thanks.

@abrakamowse sure when I get the opportunity to try it again.

@abrakamowse nope

Sometimes I try to create hate just for the sake of creating hate. This is a psychoemotional resistance in me. Maybe the underlying reason is that I suffer from social anxiety. That makes me a bit stressed out when I deal with people. But even when I am not stressed out, my introversion is so deep that it makes me push people away. I don't want to have to deal with something I feel I cannot really connect to. This avoidant behavior is a part of my psychological makeup. But then I also add other things to it. Like wanting the other person to hate me really badly. I pulled this shit on Joseph. And I don't feel guilty about it because If someone is not able to understand me or doesn't want to put the effort into understanding me maybe they should not be a part of me. I don't have an obligation to serve a person who doesn't understand me. This can come off as rebellious or selfish or bratty or entitled but for me it's a survival mechanism. It's how I thrive in a situation. If my survival can't be respected or allowed, then I shouldn't be held to judgement, I shouldn't be contradicted or virtue signaled. Sorry but your virtue signaling doesn't help my survival.. So once I was talking to another guy and he lied to Joseph about me. Some slander. And Joseph took me to task. Joseph started interrogating me. Even slammed his wrist on the kitchen table. He was furious because I wasn't answering and being wishy washy. Then I flew off the handle and said a bunch of insulting things to Joseph, called him a pig and so on. I kept hurting him till he could take no more. My wicked idea behind this was to anger him, anger him some more and make him hate me some more. The underlying reasons behind such behavior are complicated. Of course I didn't want Joseph to hate me. But during his interrogation I was intensely nervous and frustrated stressed out beyond because that day was my father's death anniversary and I was very emotional and I didn't want to be bothered anymore. So I just decided to stop the pain from hurting me more. My defense mechanism was to make Joseph hate me and get the hell out of his place for some quiet and peace. I didn't care what he thought, because it didn't matter anyway, if all he was going to do was yell at me or upset me. There was no point in endlessly defending myself. So I gave up and made it worse.. Whenever I have to defend myself too much, I run into self pity mode and I reach the end of my line. This is where I feel that the only way to survive is to close myself off permanently. And the way to achieve this is to make that person, who is the source of this stress or trauma, hate me more more more. Sometimes there is freedom in hate.

@SirVladimir I already tried Aya six months ago with a friend from Mexico. But hey thanks.

I have been alone and lonely for so long, I don't even remember. It's only Andrew that makes me feel better. And I make him feel better. We share a similar childhood. The recent Portuguese group that I joined has been very helpful. Those people are awesome and welcoming. Will help me open up a bit more that way Lessons I learned You don't have to be for someone You just have to be for you Don't think too much of public attention. Let that thought disappear. Society in general wants women to believe that they are worthy only when someone gives them attention. You need to remove that thought out of your head and stop being social fodder. Don't get upset when someone doesn't talk to you or feel less of yourself. You don't have to. I know that you do.. Often... But you don't have to. You don't have to feel this way. You are your own. Don't be too hungry for appreciation. Be neutral. You give power to what you give power to. And you know what is exactly liberating..........? When you give power to nothing, absolutely nothing.. That's liberating. You realize instantly that everything was and is a hoax. I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams. Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone.

The best feeling is when someone says to me "you don't have to feel this way." or "you don't have to feel that way." Cough. (to a certain someone, why is my journal bothering you so much, since you visited my profile page, GTFO)

I can say that after purging, I've been feeling better, much better. Time to celebrate a little.

If you want a woman who is well traveled, then maybe you should go out travel as well. You are more likely to find someone who has similar interests if you engage in those interests. I met my first crush. At a mutual friends party I met my first boyfriend at my college I met my second boyfriend at my workplace I met my third boyfriend in the US in a grocery store I met my fourth boyfriend in meditation retreat in my country. What are the chances that I will meet a guy online. The chances are zero. If you want a real relationship or real experience, go be real. Hang out and socialize. You will find lots of people online. But they will break your trust. Don't fall for such a trap. Find real people in real life Now you might say that you can't because there aren't many girls near you, well then you must change your location and go to a popular city where you find lots of girls. Girls of every place in the world. You need to make changes if you want someone admirable in your life. It won't happen by sitting behind a laptop and cruising through random women's profiles It happens with confidence. Confidence can't be shown on a computer or a cellphone. Every guy I met was very confident in himself. Each one of them were confident enough to directly approach me. That's why they won me over. You can't sit on a dating website and complain about dating websites when you are not ready to do actual work. It's like complaining about unemployment without actually attending any job interviews. A real person needs real work. If I wanted to date just like that I can find a 100 men right now, I know because I'm a woman, so the odds are in my favor, but that way I will be dating any Tom Dick and Harry. But if I wanted a good quality man who brings value to my life. Then I will need to put effort. Now I didn't go to the meditation retreat with the explicit intention to hunt a boyfriend, I just happened to come across a good quality man with value to offer. It's because I was ready to expose myself to such an opportunity. I was ready to meet new people learn new things, so life paid my grit to explore opportunities. That's how you do it. Stop pussyfooting. You be a real person ready to go out there and pull no stops. Then see life comes banging on your door. Dating is a struggle for both sexes. But it needs a ton of self growth and raw effort.

Came across this article and I thought to myself, my my my my.... How can this lady be such a shameless woman? Dear How to Do It, I have found myself recently in a position where a man who I know has a girlfriend (I am also female) has propositioned me for sex. I am very attracted to him, and I feel like I wouldn’t have much guilt if I slept with him. At this point I am looking just for sex, not a relationship, and this one-time tryst would be just sex. Obviously, I know that cheating happens, and I know that sleeping with him would not be a wise decision morally for either of us. But I can’t get him out of my head. Is there something wrong with me because I don’t think I would feel that much guilt? Shouldn’t I feel worse about this? How responsible am I for someone else’s relationship? I am certainly responsible for my own actions, and I know am morally in the wrong here. But as it exists right now, purely hypothetically, I don’t feel bad about it. Dear Not Guilty, Are you sure you don’t feel bad about this hypothetical cheating abetment? People don’t usually write in for help preventing them from doing something they don’t feel bad about. I think this is a textbook case of the lady protesting too much. I think you know, on some level, that if you went through with helping this guy cheat, you would feel negatively afterward—maybe even during the act. Even if I’m incorrect, you know that you’d be doing something wrong regardless of whether you end up feeling bad. Just in case I’ve been unclear: Don’t help this guy cheat on his girlfriend. Remove temptation. Limit the amount of time you spend with this guy, especially alone. Focus on the harm you’d be helping to cause with the other woman involved. Take some time to really put yourself in her shoes and imagine how that betrayal would feel. Make sure you’ve given him a firm no. Yeah, he might find someone else to cheat with. But a clear, concise no from you might prompt him to reevaluate what he’s doing. Suggesting he talk to his girlfriend about opening up the relationship is also a possibility. You don’t mention your own relationship status. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, make your fantasy life more robust. If you have a regular partner, consider role play. Treat yourself to some saucy novels or explicit pornography. Get a new sex toy. When you feel sexual desire, fulfill it yourself. Whatever it takes to keep focusing on, well, anything but this guy. And the answer to her question was kinda perfect. Nailed on the head. Random gifs

Done So this was my synopsis on dealing with racism spiritually. Maybe I will have more spiritual insights on this topic later and I might want to add more when I see fit, but for now I'm closing this complicated topic for good.. I'm done with the venting. It did help me lift some of the heaviness I was dealing with.