traveler

I just bought it haha, didn't have patience for a reply

This is exactly what I need, thank you for making this post!

I found this pumpkin on a walk the other day, and it inspired me to make this poem. I thought that I would share this with you.

What will be left of all the fearing and wanting associated with your problematic life situation that every day takes up most of your attention? A dash - one or two inches long, between the date of birth and date of death on your gravestone. To the egoic self, this is a depressing thought. To you, it is liberating. - Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle.

I worked at a kindergarten and a 4 year old kid told me about his past life. It was way too detailed to be fake, and he was a shy little fella. He told me that you don't die when you die and what his name was before when he had a big body and so on. I tried getting more information out of him the following days, but sensed that he didn't wan't to talk about it unless he felt like it. He was such a cute kid, I hope he's doing well.

@Mo Grand As within so without.

This is very relatable.

That's great, I'm happy to hear that!

Yeah you have to deal with the implications of this truth yourself. I think everyone on the spiritual path has had a taste of what you are talking about. It's just your ego fighting for it's life though, it's not you. Who says you can't enjoy or be grateful for life without meaning? Take a look at your experience; when you're having a good time or when you're deeply in touch with something you're doing or creating is there any of this stickyness called "meaning" around? Are "you" around? Have you ever had a good time with someone and noticed your mind wasn't around to commentate on what was happening? Was there any meaning there, or were you just enjoying the moment as it was? Meaning correlates with hope. Everything must mean something so it can lead to some big event in the future that will fulfill the thing I feel is missing. There must be a meaning for all of my suffering, and some day in the future there will come an answer that will end all doubts and questions. That event will never come. It is imaginary and it keeps the suffering and lost little you alive. Does a chair need a meaning? Does your experience need a meaning?

Ever since I had my big awakening experience, I haven't had a single day of not pursuing enlightenment. It's like everything is so dry and lifeless when you're in duality. When I meditate and get in touch with my self it's better, and I feel in some of those moments that I am enlightened or that my conceptualizing mind has seen through its tricks. But yesterday I got a taste of the depth of what all of this is about again. I had a quick glimpse into a state of samadhi. These glimpses reminds you how absolutely mind blowing and insane this enlightenment thing is for the person, the person would never pursue enlightenment they knew what it really meant. Passing through the gateless gate is terrifying, it feels like you are leaving EVERYTHING behind. Your family, your friends, your body, your mind, humanity, the world. It is the death of you! You know that it has to be done though, so when you can't go through with it, you descend to maya the endless circle of life again. In some ways that feels good, because it's safe, but the urge to be free will come again and you'll do the same thing over and over again. That is the reason that truth never is in the future truth is now! The ego will always have an great excuse to stay in maya when you are at the edge of oblivion. The excuses will be so convincing everytime. My mind often uses my family as an excuse: "I will turn into an insane person, starring into nothingness, not recognizing my family and I will hurt them so much by doing that" that's an example of a thought. It seems irrational but in the moment the thought is insanely convincing. Too pass there has to be a complete surrendering to god. The absolute test of your faith.

Yeah definitely. Thank you. The experience is very real in the moment, but it's just an experience. If I'm honest I don't really care, I did when I made the post but i don't care now. Lolz. Wtf is all this seeking about anyway, all the questions make me sick. Haha. Good night. You could almost say that, that realization is the gateless gate ?

It's just a sense that you're about to transcend your person, followed by a fear of leaving the world behind. I can't really explain it, best I can do is what I originally wrote on the post.

I have no idea what kensho or satori is

It is a gate that is gateless

I have no idea wtf kundalini is, I just had a big experience and call it kundalini so people have an idea of what I'm talking about, and I think everyone else is doing the same. We are all frauds, and we don't know shit. Thank god.

The interesting thing with this shit, is that you can be so god damn confused about it all, then it's all clear and not as fantastical as you imagined it to be, then you forget about it and your mind creates images of how amazing it was and then your back to your search again and then it feels like your on the edge of getting it and you feel like you're gonna die and then you realise it and on and on and on and down the stream we sail. It's a joke

There's some videos on youtube that will possibly relieve some of the symptoms. My advice is to try and just sit with the feeling, feel the sensation without any labeling or restistance. Do this with all of your muscles around the area aswell. Your shoulders, neck, jaw etc. Just sit with it and it will feel great after some time. No need to read books about it and all that. You can do that, but I would start of with investigating the sensation myself first. And don't take advice from me because I have no idea what I am talking about. It helped me, but it might not help you. Find out. The worst thing that could happen is instant death, jk. Or am I? I am don't worry....

Because I won't be there if I make the jump

What are you getting at?

@Mu_ thank you ? Seems like I saw, spent and fucked it all in my previous lives, because there hasn't been much of that in my current life and I have no desire for it either.

Nice one

Had one too. Haven't been able to stop pursuing since. It is like something I heard Adyashanti say once: Before awakening you seek god, after awakening god seeks you. It surely is the point of no return. I was insanely disoriented for about a year I would say, but lately it seems like I'm getting more accostumed with the energy/realization. I am more able to balance both world than I was before. I've been pretty unhealthy in terms of my life style though, it seems like it helps me ground myself more in this reality. When I get healthy everything gets a little more disorienting, I kinda float in between both worlds. Can you relate?

There seems to be a line that can be crossed. From the known to the unknown. From time to eternity. From body mind to nothingness. That is what I mean. It is the leap of faith. Jumping into the infinite abyss where no person can enter.

I've listened to probably over 1000 non duality videos. Seen almost all rupert's videos as well. The videos can be helpful when you try to shed your old beliefs, but they will not make you enlightened. There comes a time where you have to actually put the things that these teachers say into practice and investigate yourself. There comes a time where you will no longer crave intellectual understanding, you will feel so fed up with all of the spiritual ideas. You will notice all of the traps of the mind, and you will begin to notice how god damn simple truth is. Your mind is what makes it so damn complicated, the truth will always feel like it's just out of your reach, and that is because your mind is trying to grasp it. It is trying to grasp what already IS.

Do you mean Marcos dream? Marcos is the dream.