tsuki

The stuff from Sacred space.

Ahhh, it's so embarrassing to write this stuff .

On Ego and the nature of conflict from the perspective of transaction, part 2. When we inspect personal experience closely, how exactly do emotions manifest during conflict? Is there only one person that feels strongly? If that was the case, then the other would simply yield without conflict. Do emotions announce themselves before they appear? Only if we expect conflict to happen, but what is that expectation other than fear or anger? Emotions always arrive unannounced, spontaneously and they coexist in both parties simultaneously. They are an energetic transaction that binds people together in a certain situation. If that is the case, then what is the meaning of assigning blame for what is happening? Do emotions know about survival? Emotions are non-discursive, they do not know what they transmit. They are a call to action without explanation. They express themselves as irrational possession of our faculties, they don't care about anything. The big question is: what is the thing that manifests itself through this transaction? Is this transaction personal? Certainly, each end of this transaction is experienced personally as emotions by the protector, or the conqueror. Is the transaction itself, however, attributable to either of them? Aren't they both victims of the circumstances that arose? Emotions of both parties are irrational and experienced within their bodies. The transaction itself however is beyond something personal. It is something that manifests within Nature, the Animal Kingdom, God's body, material world. It is the interplay of our primal instincts that we were born with when we were incarnated in these bodies. When this situation is seen as such, the fighting animals are only worthy of compassion, and not disgust. Emotions however are not the only factor at play in conflict, so this just a part of the story. To be continued.

On Ego and the nature of conflict from the perspective of transaction. Can a person be hurt, if the person was not protecting something? Can a person hurt another, if the person did not enter space that is restricted? From the perspective of the protector, the intruder is the villain because he wants something that is not his to be taken. From the perspective of the conqueror, the usurper is the villain because he holds something that is not his to keep. How to solve this problem without the third agent that decides who's right? Spirituality tells us that we're all evil creatures, devils, that are only out for ourselves. That, unless we know that we are evil and we try to make space for other people, we're doomed to perpetuate suffering. Some people on the spiritual path decide to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others and venture to kill their own ego. This ego, the will to survive, is supposedly the root of all problems. At a first glance - it is true. Both the protector and the conqueror are blinded by their own selfishness and cannot see the greater good that comes from cooperation. This approach, however, creates a problem. That is because from the point of view of any of those people, they are not doing anything wrong. In fact, they are both convinced that they are right and they defend their convictions through conflict. People are never out there to do harm because they enjoy it. They do that because they are convinced that it serves the good cause. So, in order to transcend the ego, they need to admit to being evil while genuinely thinking that they want to do good. This is the root of all inner conflict and confusion in spirituality. That you are convicted for being a sinner without any evidence to support it. This gives rise to psychics that supposedly know better what you feel than you, the only person that has access to your first person experience. Not only this idea serves to spread guilt, it is also gives birth to preaching and moralizing that other people should keep their egos checked. In this sense, spirituality is self-defeating. It tries to solve conflict, but it creates it on a different level. It creates conflict about conflict itself. This meta conflict is either externalized and gives rise to rules that are enforced, or internalized and results in self-flagellation. This internalization is especially dangerous because it instills the basic distrust towards one's own capacity to see things clearly. To be continued. @Zigzag Idiot Thank you for the material.

I would suggest inspecting what is the experience of other people, like your friends, or your family. From one point of view, there are people, living humans, that have free will, knowledge and personalities. From another point of view, there are models of those people that make up your psyche, inner experience. When you talk to those people, do you talk to them, or do you talk to your mental images? What is the extent to which those models of people influence your interactions with the 'real humans'? Whatever the 'real people' say is understood in the context of your mental model. If you only understand them in the context of what you already know, then are you really talking to anybody when you talk to your mother? Maybe, the truth is that your mother talks to herself and you are just a mirror for her? If that is true for you, then isn't it true for her as well? When you are talking to her, maybe you are just talking to what she thinks about you? Maybe she serves as a mirror for you? If that is the case, then we have two mirrors facing each other. Have you ever looked into the infinite two-mirror fractal?

If you feel hurt because you were judged, remember that there is not much to say other than what we think about each other. Each adjective is as descriptive of you, as it is descriptive of another person's point of view. The most profound way to be together is to be silently connected.

I don't know what to write in Gog's defense because the ban may have been given appropriately. The fact that I like him and that I enjoyed our interactions does not lessen the severity of what he did. I just wanted to say that it's a shame that it ended up this way and that I would welcome his return. Would you please consider releasing his ban?

Working out is like having a relationship with my body. It's difficult to start the training, but once I do, it's intense. It is both pleasurable and painful. The pleasurable part is the dizziness of exhaustion and the intensity of experience. The painful part is, of course, the fact that my muscles are sore afterwards. The added bonus is that I feel easy for living the non-training part of my life and not thinking that I should exercise.

Today's running was very refreshing. My muscles were sore after two days ago and I was a little afraid to hurt myself, but it went better than I expected. I feel energized and my mind was creatively racing during the run and afterwards. My thighs hurt, especially sartorius. I need to find some routines for proper stretching here. I was stronger and had better endurance today. I wonder if that's gonna stay.

Outline of understanding as a spiritual practice as explained in terms of alchemy. Earth: the stone. Water: personal experience. Air: Ego FIre: Ambiguity. The goal of alchemy is the Quintessence, quint essence, fifth element. You take the stone, whatever it is. It may be a piece of art, a painting, a song, a book, a conversation, a person, an object, anything, even silence, space, stars, you, the floor, a window, this text. Anything. The stone is Dry and Cold. It is in itself, by itself and protects its own boundaries. It has its own form and shape, its own rules, requires effort to change and upon effort, it returns to its natural state. Now, you take Water, your personal experience. This includes your knowledge, your experience, your feelings, your intuition, your perceptions, objections, opinions and facts. Water is Cold and Moist. It gathers and connects, but has no substance of its own. It is pure relativity for the sake of it. It is connection, relation, without the things that are being related. Now, you apply the Salt principle. You mix the two in order to create Soma, Primal Mud. If all you see in the Mud is Water, your personal experience, then it means that you've thrown a rock into a pond. Start over. If all you see in the Mud is Earth, the stone, then it means that you've thrown a glass of water onto a mountain. Start over. It is best to start with a middle sized rock and learn to dilute it gradually, to make the stone personal until it is something in between you and it. Primal Mud needs to be neither Water, nor Earth. It is both Moist (relative) and Dry (concrete, stable, rigid). It is also Cold, contracting, known, mechanical and mundane. Then, there is Fire, which is ambiguity. Ambiguity is knowing that you don't know. It starts with openness, with the acknowledgement that something may be other than it appears, but it does not end there. Ambiguity is forgetfulness, destruction, obliteration, erasure. It is death, a dream that you forgot you had, the breakfast you had a year ago, a relative that died 50 years before you were born. There is no fire without something that is burning. That is, non-existence does not exist. That sentence and this paragraph is Sulfur, inspiration. It brings it about, but it needs to burn down. A fire cannot be captured because it is a process that turns to ash what it touches. Fire in itself Hot and Dry because it separates and is unyielding. The last part is Air, the mediator, Ego. The Ego does not think or feel, because thoughts and feelings belong with Water. The Ego does not destroy because destruction belongs with Fire. The Ego does not die because the only thing that exists is Earth and Earth does not think or feel. The Air is Moist and Hot. It transmits Moisture from Mud to Sulfur and Heat from Fire to Water. Ego makes the inspiration of ambiguity known and uninspiring or destroys connectivity in the Stone and makes the Mud fall apart. The pathway is bi-directional and the Ego has no control over it even if it rules the process. If the Air needs to warm the Mud, but can't - it means that the Ego is mixed with personal experience. If the Air needs to make Sulfur Moist, but can't - it means that Ego is destructive and suicidal. Both beliefs are mistaken, as the Ego cannot die and cannot experience. Ego is in-between Death and Life, Mind and Body. It is the Soul between Spirit and Corpus. The only thing that Ego does, is conducting. It transports things, but it appears as if it was directing. When it is directing, it is when it is entangled with either personal experience, or Death. There is no other place than Death for personal experience to go, and there is nothing else to do for Death than to destroy. When Ego directs, it conducts, when it conducts, it directs. The four-element rotation process never ends and never starts. The Quint essence, the Spirit, is the self-similarity, how every Element can be seen in everything. It is how the Air resembles the whole of the process. It is how the Lower Self resembles the Higher Self and that the two are identical. The Quint essence is the Void, the immeasurable, because there are no words to describe it.

Bringing this post forward because it is relevant to what I'll be writing next.

@now is forever Sigh, please just get out. You wanna chat, go to my other journal. This one here is the place where I think. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Classical_element#/India https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Aether_(classical_element) https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Akasha ______________________________________ On another note, I'm still interested in Hades and Persephone and I'm not seeing them clearly. The Underworld is their home, which is an instance of Otherworld: https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Greek_underworld https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Otherworld https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Chthonic https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Hades https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Persephone

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Classical_element

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Hera

Enough bickering. Ego is Air, Spirit is emptiness and they are not opposed to each other.

Hey, I'm not saying that the books are right because they are books. It is all my experience too, I just use the knowledge to systematize this. Some things are beautiful because they are raw, and some are beautiful because they are symmetrical. Alchemy is something that shows the underlying symmetry of how the world works. It's the symmetry of the raw. I brought Pythagoreans up because they use the pentacle to show what you are saying. The original 4 elements are within the square of opposition (it is counterclockwise here): Earth, Water, Air, Fire. The fifth element, here called Spirit, is above, connected to all of the rest elements. It is not really a pentacle, it is a pyramid. In the original image, Spirit is the observer, the one that reads the image. I think that the fifth element is best left outside of the picture because it is mystical, esoteric. It is equally made of Fire and Water, as it is made of Earth and Air. It symbolizes the ascent, increase in dimensionality, the Quintessence, reconciliation of the opposites in harmony.

@now is forever Does the picture show the canonical order of elements in Ayurveda? Pythagoreans also had a five-element system, but I find the four-element one to be more appropriate. Aether is subtle and it is perfect for it to be left undefined, as an upward movement through the spiral of creation. When it comes to the Earth element, here are a few links if you want to chew on it some more: http://opsopaus.com/OM/BA/AGEDE/Earth.html https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Hera

Those are some impressive muscles. Really creative way of showing how they interact.

My muscles are wonderfully sore today. It feels good to do nothing, but I'm gonna stretch. I need to study the general outline of what muscles I have.

The difference between Maximus and Commodus is not that one gave in to emotions and the other controlled them. The difference is that Maximus is internally firm and integrated, while Commodus needs external validation from women and the crowd to feel empowered. Maximus is a complete man that seeks no trouble. He protects his home for the best of his abilities, and his abilities are great. He is a general that leads armies of Marcus Aurelius. When his family dies, he does not 'give in' to grief because there is no point to withhold it. He gives in, because he is overwhelmed. He knows that he has no reason to live, but he continues because he is furious. His wounded animal does not let him kill himself because it seeks blood. This is what is right. Commodus on the other hand is blind to his wounded emotions and tires to act like a man. He is wounded because of his busy father's neglect and is pressured to act because of expectations that are placed upon him. He yearns for his father's approval, women's approval, crowd's approval. He unconsciously tries to rule the same way he sees others have control over him. Through fear, manipulation and intimidation. Through emotional wounding. He does not see that he spreads his incompleteness like cancer and in doing so, makes the state unstable, paranoid. He tries to distract it with violent games, but it only hastens his demise. A perfected mind does not know what to think. It is able to hold any thought, no matter how cruel, blasphemous or revolting it is. The mind does not discern what is right or wrong. Emotions do. A man is a mediator between what he feels and what he thinks. Thoughts are the raw material that he uses to create. This is why Maximus always knew what to do and this is why the crowd and his armies loved him. There are moments when the animal nature takes over and this is when a man knows that something is important. Sometimes, what's important is tending to the frightened animal's wounds but a mind cannot know that. Maximus knew that his fury is right because he was hurt unjustly. There is no reason in the world to kill a man's family out of revenge. That is a sign of weakness and the state that has been entrusted to him cannot have a weak ruler. His fury is righteous. Stoics are not bloodless husks that feel nothing. They only feel what's necessary and wise. This is why Marcus Aurelius chose Maximus over his son (at least in the movie).