tsuki

Well, something just came to me. You reflect my insanity. The one that screams: WHY WON'T PEOPLE LISTEN TO ME?! I KNOW THE TRUTH, BUT IT CANNOT BE EXPRESSED! IT'S OBVIOUS, COME ON PEOPLE! WAKE UP! JUST LOOK!

You asked me @MarkusSweden comment here, but I honestly see nothing directed towards me. You are having your journey for your own purposes and that's fine. We're similar in this regard. If you need someone to open up to then you can reach out to me, friend.

No option for me in this poll. I'm always either thinking to myself, or talking to other people. I'm also sometimes talking to myself and thinking to other people too. I'm neither alone, nor not alone. I am.

Why questions depend on the notion of cause and effect. That is a mechanism through which Ego manifests itself. It is a duality that is broken once you start to spot circular reasoning in everyday situations. We tend to dismiss such reasonings as 'invalid' and paradoxical, but that dismissal is a manifestation of Ego. We tend to say that there is nothing to be done with such a circular reasoning and that is correct. Once you see through Ego, there is no you to resist it. Ego has a rock by being different from it.

Where would you obtain these from? From the world? Who would you give them back to? The world? Why would the world need them from you if it gave them away? Would it be perhaps that you think that you can make these insights better somehow? Aren't you the one that claims to not know everything? You are the world, but you don't know that yet. If you try to conquer the world, you will only conquer yourself. If you can't see that, then it will always seem like the world is hostile towards you. Because you cannot accept that you are it. The same applies to your family. You are your family. You are its member, but you are also the one that decides that your family is terrible. There is no other family than the one you see as terrible. Your family is terrible because you see it as such. Then - you rebel against it and complain that they don't understand your will for freedom. If you won't care for your family, your family won't care for you. If you fight it, you will be aware of possibility of retaliation. How would you know love from hate in such a situation? Aren't you loving your family through your rebellion? So that they see how rotten they are? Are you willing to accept that they fight back so that you see that you are rotten? That you smear with rot everything that you see by rebelling against it? Tell me this: can you see awareness? Is it perhaps that it is the only thing in existence that is not rotten? isn't that precisely because you cannot see it? What if you are awareness and you cannot see that? It would be a self-fulfilling prophecy, now wouldn't it?

You are the one that stirs yourself up. I have no idea what I'm talking about. It is just like what the signature says - I write these to myself so that I can work through them. When I work through them, I no longer see them as valid. They are an expression of 'I'. They have to go. I do enjoy your compliments, though . I feel like a zen master hahaha. When you're thinking about yourself, it is like putting a box into itself. It doesn't work that way. If you want to do that, you need a magician that will pull the trick off. He will have to show you the same box, but say that it contains itself. You can play along, open it, and be shocked that he lied (suffer), or not play along by saying that you tricked yourself (be ignorant). All I do is show how people are tricking themselves by explicitly stating the self-reference. The moment you say that something is true is the moment that you acknowledge the magician (Ego). The winning move is not to play, but then - nothing is true and there is no you. This knowledge is also completely useless when embodied, but you get to play not playing. It's awesome. Remember, that you are the one that understands these letters .

To reject the ego is to suffer because of a mere possibility of suffering. It is to fear any suffering because that would mean that you haven't rejected the ego hard enough.

I'm afraid that there is no such thing. Identity is a by-product of self-awareness. Everything is you. Consequently - there is no you. At the same time. The moment you ask 'who am I?' - you simultaneously, genuinely don't know, and are something that does not know what it is. Self-awareness is born out of the ability of non-dual reality to become dual in a way that does not contradict itself. Self-awareness is equally awareness and unawareness. Anything you grasp as 'you' comes with a blind spot. The moment you become any concrete you (as in body) you will have an impulse to defend yourself from the other (the world). If you do not see how your body is the world - you may have an impulse to fight it back so that it will not hurt you. If you try to kick the wold - you will kick yourself in the ass precisely from the place that you are blind to. If you try to fight the world, it will seem like the world is a threat. It will be a perpetual fight for survival that has not been caused by anything and will go unnoticed. This is why paradox is the symmetry of reality.

And that is a very crude way of putting things. I haven't mentioned the first-perspective side of being engaged in the worldly affairs. The usefulness of a cup does not come from the clay it is made of. It comes from the empty space it has in it. If all you see is material - you will say that the cup is full of air, and yet call it empty. You are the emptiness of a cup. You are not found inside of your skull, but intertwined in everyday object's usefulness. There is no difference between you and the 'outside world'.

That is an invalid assumption. Even from the standpoint of so very much 'debunked' science. Each microsecond cells that you call 'you' die and are born. There is nothing that separates you from 'outside' of your body. Is the air that you breathe 'you'? Is the food that you eat 'you'? At which point they start to become 'you' that you so much defend? Any choice of such a point is simply that - a choice that upholds the duality you live in. The other duality is the duality of sleep/no sleep. If you do not remember your sleep - how are you so sure that you're not sleeping right now and the 'the other side' is the dream? What if you go to sleep and the moment you're 'out', you wake up as another person and live their day? You don't necessarily go back to your 'current' body back when you wake up as your memories are not a reliable basis for identity. What if the body that you call 'you' from before you went to sleep is just the part of the dream that you've woken up from? So many assumptions...

@DocHoliday What do you rely your certainty of constant identity on? Memories? What constitutes their reliability for you? Do you perhaps remember that you remember correctly? Isn't that a little too self-referential as a basis for certainty?

If everything needs a point, then what is the point of having a point? You know the ultimate point of all existence, don't you? What is the point of rushing there?

It seems that you have an emotional response to the use of logic. Logic is in many ways symbiotic with emotions. If you learned about logic, then you know that it needs assumptions to produce conclusions. Logic cannot provide the basic assumptions. These are emotional. So is the moment to 'stop' using logic and carry out the plan. Same goes for implicit use of logic when you simply read and judge whether I write truth or false. Truth is emotional, friend.

What do you need this awareness for, friend? Awareness itself is not a problem. It the compulsive need for it that is ruining your life. Why do you need to need something to pursue it? Why do you need to like something to pursue it? Would it be perhaps that you need to like, or would like to need? Isn't that a little contrived of you?

@Tearos From the way you answer my question, I have a hunch that you were suffering because of fear of suffering. If there was nothing wrong with your life as you claim - why would you have an impulse to change it by introducing meditation? Would it be perhaps that you were trying to secure it so that you would be more balanced? When you stand soundly with two feet on the ground and tell yourself that you need more balance - you will surely fall flat on your face. There are times when meditation is 'used' to gain balance, but other times it is 'used' to express it. If gaining balance does not work in your case - try to express it with it. Treat it as a form of art. Perhaps, you are expressing your suffering and framing the problem so that meditation is to blame?

Can you provide an example of such a situation?

I just came up with an incredible idea! Forum should sit still for 30 days. If anybody says anything, somebody else should silence him.

@Charlotte Only if there will be anybody to wake up. We humans have strange attachments to all sorts of different things. We think that the bronze age is different from out current age, so we say that it has ended. We think that Venus is different from Earth, so we try to stop the greenhouse effect. Ultimately we think that life is different from death, so we struggle to fight it off. Life comes from death and turns to death. To say that life comes from life is to miss the point. To live in fear of death.

Yep, everybody knows it, including me. Not enough to stop this madness though. When everybody knows everything, ignorance is the greatest wisdom. If we could only understand our madness, then perhaps we could see that sometimes right is wrong and wrong is right.

Oh, but we do catch and hunt for food and suffer for it. Our food is not as easily recognizable though - we chase edibles too, of course, but we also need food for thought, boredom, loneliness, etc. We all need to fulfill our all needs. Some are basic, as food, but once you have those - other become basic instead. Our hunting is also very contrived to the point of not recognizing it as such. Our hunting is called work, so we chase money instead of grass. We are every bit as unaware of our behavior as animals. They are not aware what is to hunt, and we are not aware what is hunting for the human animal. Oh, and animals chase us off their gardens too. But instead of individual animals fighting us, we fight ourselves by polluting the planet. We may very well be on the brink of extinction thanks to our excessive hunting. We hunt by blinding ourselves to hunting. This is where excess comes from. By trying to control the planet, we unwillingly took control of controlling ourselves.

Now that would be very unfair towards @Faceless. He may understand his own concept of time as a movement of measure and would be back to square one with his ability to communicate enlightenment.

Ego can also screw up your interpretations so that you link meditation with blood dripping from your ears. Cause and effect are powerful tools.

So, @MarkusSweden since I got all personal and non-zeny let me as you a question: Why do you post like you do? You start a thread and watch it unfold. Don't you have any comments to add?

@Faceless Thank you, that soothed me a bit. I'm not keeping it though

Everything I read today mocks me. Even my own stupid posts that I thought were pure gold yesterday. Knowing that suffering is a force to toy you around doesn't help. Today's suffering is directionless. It's like the game is simply to fuck with me. So be it. I'm gonna sit and suffer like a proper martyr. @MarkusSweden When you try to race with Ego - it will turn your sharpness against you just to cut deeper. I truly envy you for your wisdom to lay low, friend.