tsuki

The mind is not a control unit, but an interpretation machine. You experience sexual attraction, and yet do not act it out. It is not because the mind exerts self-control and stops you from doing it. The mind processes your sexual attraction through your morality and the result of this processing is guilt. Guilt is an information about the relation between acting your fantasies out and your morality. It says: don't you fucking do it if you ever plan to look at yourself in the mirror. It is an information. A summary. Your fear comes from mistaking the mind for a control unit. That the mind can fail and produce 'bad outcomes'. It is the other way around. The mind interprets itself as a control unit that can fail and spells this interpretation out as a thought-story you are writing here. It then judges this thought-story as dangerous and communicates fear. Fear is then a reason to over-think and produce more stories. Ad nauseam. My advice is: trust yourself. You won't do anything you don't want to do. You are not grabbing this butt because you don't want to. If you will ever want to grab that butt, you will not fear grabbing it. You will do it. It is that simple.

No, you aren't arguing at the same level as them. I was saying that you treat others as below you and you get shat at because of that. That serves no purpose other than aggravate people even if it is stated as a fact. You are actively sabotaging your message by doing it. I was asking what is the value of nurturing self-stories that are expressed as hierarchy of development in your posts. What I got in return is the defense of your title as a teacher. I actually feel bad because of the following misunderstanding. Not for you @Joseph Maynor , as you don't seem to care, but for others in this thread. We are all making fools of ourselves here, defending things from imaginary adversaries.

@George FilThat's a tough situation. Do they understand that they cause you problems? If they do understand that, then are they willing to accept your help in reforming them? I would be very surprised if that was the case. They are your parents, after all, so from their perspective you are probably just a kid that knows no better. They have raised you and supported you (hopefully), so it may be reasonable from their perspective to request support from you. You are a family and your lives are interconnected. If you fail professionally (for whatever reason) they are a safety net you have. Are you willing to cut ties with them? Having that option as a last resort may seem cruel and ungrateful, but without it you have no way of establishing boundaries for the extent of help you provide. Contemplating the option of having no parents may actually make you realize that the price you're paying is small in comparison to being without the safety net that they are (however small). You have the right to live your life however you see fit. You will experience consequences of that, though. How you treat your parents will affect the way you will perceive the actions of your children. Treat your parents dismissively, and you will be aware of this possibility towards yourself from your children. Some things are not worth doing, regardless of material costs. Not saying that cutting ties is one of them. It's up to you.

Have you considered that they don't need your help? They have raised you to be the wonderful, independent and self-actualized person you are. Even if their involvement was simply giving you the counter-example of a perfect life so that you know what to avoid. Ask them what they need. Don't be wiser than others. If they tell you that they don't need anything - don't give them anything. It's their life. They cannot be saved from themselves.

@Leo Gura So, are you saying that no reason whatsoever would necessitate slavery to a person in a green stage? What if a green person recognizes generalized idea of slavery within, let's say, capitalism? Or that generalization would also be unfathomable to a green person?

An honest smile will see its own reflection, no matter where it looks. I enjoyed your poem!

Are you sure about that? Can't same actions come about through different reasons?

Why are you assuming that it is natural for the animal to hurt others? Is hurting others the first thing that comes to mind when I say that you should let yourself go? Rape is a sexual transgression of personal identity. When you are forcibly taken anally, it is your morality is being violated which brings about long-term suffering. When there are two people involved that had let go of their personal identity and attachments, there can be no rape. When two people had let go of their mind, there is even no sex anymore. Letting go is not something you do on your own. It is impossible to let go with a stranger (at least for me). Letting go requires two-way trust. This is why sex is different from masturbation.

@Arkandeus Exclusive feelings: attraction and repulsion. Being curious and grossed out. From my experience, blockages like this come from trying to establish that a subject (sexuality in this context) is either good or bad. It is neither. You cannot make a decision like that and expect it to stick with you. Decisions you make serve only as food for further contemplation, and never actually prevent anything. Guilt comes from contradiction of prior decisions. You may be treating them too seriously. Is the mere fact of being sexually attracted to someone disgusting to you, or the 'content' of said attraction? Do you feel ashamed by things that turn you on? Are their inappropriate? In my experience, sexuality is an outlet of repressed urges. It is not that things that you judge as evil are the things that turn you on. It is the other way around - as you let yourself be aroused and let go, all of the repressed things start to surface. In order to be aroused, you need to go with the flow. To let yourself be the vessel of your animal nature. Animal nature is not immoral. It is amoral. It does no good and evil. It doesn't do anything. It simply is, and whatever happens - is. It is terrifying to the mind, as it directly contradicts its narrative of control. The mind gets it completely backwards. It is not a control unit, but an interpretation machine. Repression does not prevent you from doing, but from seeing. As you let go of your repression during arousal, it becomes scarily apparent. It is the mind that interprets itself as a control unit. Realizing that is a serious threat to reality. It is a sign of your blockage to see their silence as blockage. There are reasons to remain silent even if you are not repressed. Finding good, honest reasons for that within yourself will relieve you from your blockage. You will be free to talk about it, but there will be no need to. Unless you see them like I do now.

Sure. You are over my head. I'm a nobody .

I'm not a spiritual teacher, but let me tell you why I don't talk about it in detail. The details are dependent on the unique aspects of personalities involved. There is no way that I can meaningfully express her personality in a post on a forum. I don't understand her. She doesn't understand herself. I don't even understand myself! How do I write anything meaningful in this situation and expect anything meaningful in return? Attraction and repulsion. Connection attracts us, consuming repulses us. It is when two people, willingly, give themselves to attraction and repulsion, something is born. We become a vessel, a tool, for something greater than two connected people. When you devour her and she devours you, there is no 'person' that stands above the other. There is no master and a slave. There is only us. It is very reminiscent of the work you do upon yourself to become enlightened. You give yourself to yourself and let yourself be who you are. You remove the blockages and flow. Relationship is when two people flow in themselves and flow in relation to each other. When you witness this dance, even fighting is beautiful. It is not that you feel grossed by talking about sexuality. You are curious and grossed out at the same time. Without witnessing excess, there can be no balance. Sexual attraction and crushes are means to bear the proximity of another person for a period of time. They will wear out. In the meantime, you build something different. Love. Love cannot be said. Love is contextual. Love is the dance. Tell me more about your repulsion. You can do it here, or PM me, if you would like.

@Joseph Maynor I would like to bring back our discussion about the absolute statements from before in the context of the sentence I'm quoting. You are either saying this as an absolute statement, or describing your perspective. You are surely not talking about absolutes, so that statement really says more about you (Joseph) than the person (collective?) you claim to be attacked by. Are you sure that you are not pushing yourself into a corner by thinking that you are 'scary advanced'? After all, it is reasonable to expect people to get upset after establishing such a hierarchy between you and them. You are interpreting our (their?) posts through the lens of superiority. Expecting attacks is to be expected given such perspective. To you, what is the value of the thought-stories about your own progress? Calling yourself advanced is to populate the world with beginners. Calling yourself a teacher is to populate the world with pupils. Teaching is solicited when master is chosen by the pupil.

@Joseph Maynor I was wondering why haven't you done this already. There seems to be very few people you can talk with without rustling hostility (?) for whatever reason. Just curious.

@Joseph Maynor The fact that my sentences end in a full stop does not mean that my thinking is absolute. I am simply conveying my perspective and giving you the benefit of assuming that you can see that I'm being honest to my experience. I never claim that reality is any different from how you (Joseph) perceive it. I am communicating my perception of it. Establishing that something is only my perspective every time I try to say something is silly. Equally silly is trying to convince others of being turquoise, or any other color for that matter, as it is nobody else's business. Have you noticed your absolutism about my absolutism in your response? I'm not saying as a riposte, but to point out how language works.

@Joseph Maynor You are underestimating the fact that Leo is making a living through his videos. Most people will not recognize value in a perspective unless it is presented as true and backed up by authority. You have to tailor your message to your audience if they are supposed to digest it. Sometimes they need to digest it, just to see that it's junk food. This is how self-development is done up to a certain point. Leo has repeatedly said that his videos are a solid island of shit in a sea of shit. There is no way to gauge other people's stage externally like you're trying to do. Nor there is a need to.

Do not treat stage Green as means to an end. You will never get there if you're seeing it as a disposable ladder from the start. Well, unless you view any other stage like that. Emotions are not errors in logical reasoning. They are a manifestation of a mismatch between conscious and unconscious worldviews you hold. They are a reasoning faculty that guides you according to your unconscious compass. If you subject yourself to your emotions and understand what they tell you, you will align your value systems and become much more integrated and therefore stronger (not in alpha sense). Stage green is a pendulum swinging 'too far' in the opposite direction from 'alpha' in pursuit of exploration of unknown territory of the Self. In order to learn, you need to explore. Pendulum becomes still as Yellow, with the integrated Self.

@Mikael89

@Arkandeus It seems that you suffer because you're too happy . I'm not even joking. Have you even been in a serious, long-lasting intimate relationship with someone? Women are trouble, but so is everything else. Your current situation seems like you cannot accept your attraction towards people. Why is that? Why can't you trust yourself in this regard? Is this beauty unbearable? Why do you have to bear it? Do you think that Jesus or Buddha beared the beauty of the world? Or they didn't and became who they were? What would you do to express the beauty of the world to other people? Would you tell them your experience if you could? Wouldn't it frighten them? Wouldn't their fright frighten you? There are ways to express love by doing thing you've always done. Beauty you see is an expression of your inner being. You are the world's beauty by being who you are. Let men be men. There is no need for them to have their masculinity balanced by femininity. You have, and does it prevent your suffering, or amplifies it? Do you wish your experience to other people? Do you think that they can handle it? They all go in their own pace - so are you. Masculinity turning onto itself will produce femininity in the end. It has to. It is the same energy called differently. We are all one. We all have a path that leads nowhere. Tuning yourself to the world's beauty tunes you to the world's suffering. Beauty is suffering when you try to control it.

Looking for validation of your inner peace from others suggests that you aren't. Would it be a problem if you could never arrive at peace? If so, then you aren't at peace at all.

@Leo Gura Doesn't it imply that anything you say about infinity is nonsense?

Why do you regret it? Is regret driving you back to your practices? Is it perhaps easier to discipline yourself, than keep being lazy?

I used the phrase 'running' to make our conversation coherent, but the original question was about stillness among your troubles in general. You can solve all problems by not seeing things as problems to be solved. By seeing that having a problem is not a problem. I'm hesitant to say this, but the point of this exercise is to see that you do not, in fact, do things for a reason. You may think of yourself as someone needing discipline in your life to be happy, but this idea originates from your self-image of being lazy. This cycle of discipline and laziness is perpetuated by the interplay of two conflicting self-images that combat each other through discipline and relief. Try being a lazy fuck for as long as you can bear. At some point it will actually be easier to discipline yourself than do keep being lazy. Noticing of the point at which 'personalities' switch is a valuable skill of self-mastery. It will allow you to feel like going with the flow of yourself. People need to rest. Being lazy sometimes is okay. Sorry if it feels like a projection. I simply have a feeling that we're alike.

To stop running. The subtlety of the distinction becomes apparent when you see that idea of stopping running makes you tense. Does it?

I think that the difference between the two is very subtle. Struggle can manifest itself as chatter commenting on your feelings or actions. It can also manifest itself as chatter commenting the chatter that comments feelings or actions. That's the spirit! Have you ever considered them as useful in some respect? Each of your perceived vices can be seen as a strength if you give them enough consideration. That is a very powerful perspective. Stoics had something to say in this regard. The prominent ones are Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus. Thinking about death can also bring you solace when you are in the grip of your self-loathing. There is nothing to fear, but there is nothing to rush towards either. It will come on its own terms - no need to hasten it. Suffering is a welcome change from the perspective of the eternal stillness.

@pluto That is beautiful.