tsuki

3:23: "I'm pointing you towards... ?" What you wanted to say is "I'm pointing towards something that is not a 'something'". Mu.

In my case, as I was progressing deeper into inconceivability, the way in which I expressed myself as a man was becoming more and more integrated by opening up to the feminine. This had a lot to do with psychotherapy and dropping rigidity of preconceived notions of what a man is, and isn't. A lot of it was related to having less and less self-image, and clearly understanding the nature of abstraction and how it relates to the social sphere. Being in a committed relationship with a woman helped a lot, since I had to (at first) put up with, and (later) love someone that is specifically designed to work upside-down from what I expect to be "the way" to work. I am now more compassionate, accepting and empathetic, but also, much more confident. This is because I understood which aspects of me are not "faults", but features, despite being socially unacceptable in my closest family. I really am hardheaded, stubborn, and willful. I also am a die-hard intellectual. And I cherish it.

It's not just that reality is nothing during deep meditation, when perception ceases. As you are looking at this very screen, it only appears to exist, but in truth, it doesn't. This is how nothing "looks" like.

Had an interesting mind-flash today when I was walking to work. Was contemplating my life as a body and it occurred to me that I have direct access to existence as Life, or Biology. Basically, the body I exist as, as well as all of its senses, and everything it perceives, is a distinction made by Life. I really don't know how to put this to words. I don't want it to get confused with evolutionary biology as an indirect mode of acquiring knowledge by scientific method. This is a living realization that had shifted my experience. The Life force that perfected living organisms, at some point, made a distinction that had led to the first organism to have sight. Simultaneously, a possibility of observation of the world was introduced. Even though it seems mundane, it isn't. I don't know how to express this properly.

@Person0 What is the specific nature of your suffering? Are you in physical pain? If you feel your body, are there any areas that don't feel good? Do you exercise? Are you in emotional pain? Do you experience grief? Sadness? Are your energy levels low? Are you lonely? What about your thoughts? What do you think about yourself as a person? In your thoughts, do you treat yourself like you would treat a friend, or do you bully and criticize yourself? Are you on medication? Depression is a serious disease and is not to be underestimated. Please take good care of yourself.

I encountered Biospheric Symbiosis in I.G. Bennett's book "Enneagram studies". The book teaches that Enneagram is an archetype of action, represented by the 9-pointed star symbol. It allows the user to uncover hidden structures and interactions within a specific manifestation of the Enneagram. It is characterized by being a one, self-stabilizing, "surviving" organism that is composed of three independent processes called: passive, active and neutralizing. When considered locally, these processes seem to be in opposition, but globally, they form a self-supporting union that tends unbounded growth, and something similar to sublimation. These three processes are external to the Enneagram, while the Enneagram itself shows innner interaction of these systems: linearly, cyclically and exponentially. Gurdjieff famously considered humans to be a manifestation of the Enneagram, by being three-body-beings that turn food into cosmic consciousness. Bennett's book uses the Enneagram to map various manifestations - one of them being, the Biospheric symbiosis, which is the Enneagram of three processes: The Transformation of the Human Selves into Individual, The Evolution of Humanity, The Spiritualization of the Biosphere. The author argues that we, as humans are completely blind to the third process and the solution of modern problems cannot come from the first two processes. Only by owning our purpose within the third process, we will receive the necessary intervention required to sustain us. I believe that it is very much in line with what the I-Ching teaches.

kingwen.pdf Interesting exploration of relationships between hexagrams.

Nope. Consider monks that starve in caves. Extreme psychological stress, social isolation and starvation. Of course, neither does starvation help in consciousness work.

No. Choice of food allows to express values of a different scope of a Self, and in doing so - lessen the relative suffering of the individual. Still, nothing to do with consciousness - purely survival business.

Eating has nothing to do with consciousness. It is purely survival business that serves to sustain the body, modify the psychological state, or maintain social interactions.

Very enlightening description of various modes of identity building. As an authentic identity builder, I have to disagree that authenticity is about being original. I have my own view on this matter.

I kept contemplating the fact that I only perceive reality through my own eyes, and I realized that knowledge, perception and emotions are constructed purely for the sake of self-survival as a body. This is why "I" don't perceive anything through the eyes of others. There is also nothing specific about being this particular body, it is just that knowledge is local to it, and is essential to its survival. I am no less everybody else despite the fact that I don't know what they do. Knowledge is entirely relative. When I contemplated what else I can survive as, I pondered the possibility of surviving as humanity, or as life itself and I would have to find it in my direct experience. For the time being, survival as humanity is somehow centered around language. I will keep hammering at it. Also, Gurdjieffian idea of Biospheric symbiosis came up. I seem to be conscious of the origins of this knowledge, as complete understanding of the Self. Enneagram is truly a magnificent tool. I wonder whose survival it facilitates. I-Ching is also a very potent tool for expanding my identification as a Self. I always had issues with the belief systems it passed on, but I can now see why they were necessary. Very, very clever.

With regards to my contemplation of change, I became conscious that change is an illusion. Change is when something is, and isn't itself. Since existence is an appearance, so is change. This is obvious when one is conscious that the present moment is not "something". For the past few days, I was bugged by the question of perspective: "How is it possible that I perceive reality through my eyes, and not through eyes of anybody else?". This question was especially disturbing since I am conscious that my existence is an appearance. After I rejected solipsistic thoughts about me being God and creating everyone else, the mind gave in and I considered that I do not, in fact, perceive anything at all. Neither does anybody else. I thought that whatever is in front of my head, is less nothing than what is in the back of my head. It isn't. It is the same nothing that I don't perceive through your eyes. Also, I understood that is this forum is not a platform for learning, but a social media for sages. @Leo Gura is an influencer.

Yes, I've seen it on multiple occasions.

Death understood as the end of being is a myopic delusion. Being is, and is nothing. This is impossible to understand, so don't even try. Whatever you believe death to be, drop it, and look for yourself in your direct experience. The present moment does not represent anything. Neither does death. Value is only relative to survival, so of course "death" is lower in value than living in the present moment. The "beauty" and "love" in the present moment is a relative expression of a confused mind with no point of reference (knowledge).

Value to whom, exactly? The question of value is purely intellectual, it has no relation to God.

You cannot meet a need for intimacy on your own. That is the point of intimate relationships . The truth is that relationships are not simple. They are multi-faceted and it may be entirely possible that there are other factors that make you stay with this man even if he does not meet your needs for intimacy. Our therapist taught us that commitment is the single most important factor in keeping the relationship together - even if there is no intimacy, or passion. If you are committed to him, and he is committed to you, then you both will do your best to give each other as much as you possibly can. But a person that fits 100% with you does not exist. There will be compromises, strife, suffering and growth. And there will also be love, intimacy, passion and all the other good things. So in the end, the first question is whether you want to be with this man, or not by weighing the WHOLE relationship with him. The second question is whether he reciprocates this decision. Then, you live with understanding that everything that comes after is because you chose it. indeed!

This is what I meant by being neglected. Not having real, inspired connection, passion, openness, hope, dreams, etc. This is what I call passion - a longing for closeness and intimacy. This is opposite to a mechanic, generic, chatting, checking up on, etc. This is a good call I think. It's much better to discuss such matters in person. Maybe a part of all of this is that you miss him? But I think that it is important to let him address what you want openly. Not by manipulating him into introspection and covering it up with an excuse that it's for his own good, because he's a workaholic that avoids intimacy. Yes, the wording may not have been too helpful. I hope that you will be able to find a way to express your emotions honestly, in a way that does not make him feel defensive. Isn't it what you are afraid of, when you talk to him? Expressing what you need? Being supportive means that you give space for your husband to do him, and give him whatever he needs in the pursuit of that. That being said, you are a human being, and real support starts with acknowledging the extent of your own boundaries, and what you can, and cannot do. This is the part about self-interest. Your self-interest limits the extent of support you can give to others. If you overreach (like you are right now), then you have to take a step back and take care of your own needs. Unconditional support is not possible. In this particular situation it would mean, that you would allow your husband to work as much as he likes and helping him to work even more if that's what he needs. But you can't do that because you want to be intimate with him. So you take a step back and tell it to him. But this is a conflict of interest, and this is why you cannot "fix" him. You are not doing this for him, you are doing this for yourself. And that is not a moral judgement. You have every right to take care of your needs. It does not make you a bad person. It makes you a person, as opposed to a god.

Bought her flowers yesterday, out of the blue. I followed exactly, toe-to-toe, what she's been telling me over the years. She likes bright colors, loves Eustoma and gilly flowers. Hates oxeye daisies and flowers wrapped in paper soluble in water. She will not tell you this all at once, but muster these things out of the blue on random occasions. It is your job to listen and take note. Result? She said that these are the best flowers she has ever got and was very surprised. I can see her walking by them and spontaneously looking at them with a smile. I have no idea how will I top this, but my pen and paper is ready.

I'm guessing not as high as we tend to imagine, as he has repeatedly stated on the forum that he is primarily concerned with understanding, and not with embodiment.

@Vzdoh I would suggest to flip this thinking around and focus on yourself instead of thinking about making "his" situation better. From what you wrote: This is not being supportive. You are trying to illicit some effect, like making him look inwards. Why? This is correct, your emotions and self-interest are at stake. Focus on your self-interest and address it openly. To me, it seems like you feel neglected in a relationship. That he prioritizes his work over you and is not giving you the effort that would satisfy you. When did he do something romantic for you? Maybe you feel overwhelmed by the chores and want some fresh air? If that is the case, then try telling him openly and honestly about how you feel and let him ponder this. I don't know the state of your relationship. If he is listens to your difficulties, then allow him some time to ponder and address it. But, if he shrugs it off, chooses his work over you, than that is an answer in of itself and you should ponder that.

@Striving for more I have said this and will hammer this point again. If you are preoccupied with scoring with a generalized, abstract, chick, then you have to be a generalized, abstract, chad. You are not an abstraction. You are a concrete person and you will not score with an abstract chick. Find a woman that suits you, that fits with your life. You find her first by knowing yourself, and what you need, and trying over and over again. The only way it will work is when you find a woman that needs someone like you. Not like chad. When I was preoccupied with thinking in terms of scoring, I did not want to be in a relationship. I was simply thinking that having more sex will make me a better man. This is thinking in terms of abstractions, not genuine self-knowledge that can create lasting fulfillment.

Sorry, just found the question. Had to do some breathing to un-confuse myself ? Are you asking about generalities? Or you, particularly? Which "one"? What "life"? For a householder, no. It is not possible if laser focus on emptiness is your goal.

I would really like to say something helpful, but I am not sure what the question is. I'm here to offer my presence and sympathy to your efforts. Breath is a great medication for confusion though.

Yep, and this difference is doing the actual work.