tsuki

@now is forever Like I said - that book scares me. The things I could do to my mind with it are terrifying. I want to ground myself in public opinion. Make 'them' stop me by calling me insane for taking it seriously. Too bad that it's too late for that to work .

What do you mean? Book is static. Forum is dynamic. I guess that I think that by reacting to other people's thoughts I keep it more alive and vibrant. That is, of course, an unjustified assumption. I guess that I could try to write my thoughts in a book.

@now is forever I think that chaos magic is one of the things I want to discuss in a sensible way. Leo had always warned us from Ego's wanting to keep things private. I think that I will start a thread one day. I'm having a batchelor paery, so I guess I will be heading off for now. Many touching posts have been written since yesterday and I can't wait to respond ❤️♠️.

@now is forever beautiful song It always amazes me how songs I don't understand but find beautiful (via feelings) always turn out to have beautiful, deep lyrics.

Now you're suddenly talking on behalf of all (?) people. hmm. I figured as much. You really seem to have no idea what I'm talking about and I feel straw-maned by your every response. Have it your way. Good day.

Right, because all of a sudden I have a choice to do whatever I want and I am definitely not a part/whole of the unfolding . Free will definitely exists and we all do it not out of deep, deep, ignorance . Okay! Why is it so sickening though?

So, we need law to protect us from the problems that we created (toxic waste) by solving other problems we created (easier survival)? Not only that, but we also call law a problem that needs to be solved to become 'humane'. lol

Agreed. Change is continual and surrender is presence. Permanence is an illusion and clinging is egoic. Here comes a (tangent) question: Isn't change permanent? Isn't therefore presence the other face of ego? What is the difference in going either way?

I'm sorry for calling you silly. I just don't understand you. I think that we agree on that quote though. Yes. What I'm asking is: where does the need to change the unfolding come from? It's perfect. (I just realized that I could ask myself this very question)

I never said that it is a biological process. Yes, and it leads exactly nowhere and it has always been heading that way. The idea that any individual human, corporation, or government or a planet has any influence on it is just silly. This very notion of control over the process has been the curse of humanity from time immemorial. All problems that we're facing today were yesterdays' solutions. We're trapped in our collective monkey-mind as a fireman that ignorantly takes a flamethrower for an extinguisher. The cosmic irony is that we all know how it is going to end and we simply distract ourselves, chasing our own tail. Relax Leo, I'm not a problem to be solved. No, I don't. You're jumping the gun.

The same difference exists between a mirror and reflection. now i‘m confused about what you want to say. What does the mirror look like when you are looking away? When two people look into the same mirror, do they see the same face? Prediction you derive from a prophecy is nothing else than projection of your own ego. This is why Cassandra is called a complex.

The same difference exists between a mirror and reflection. That is why humans have two legs. To keep balance. Actually, it will. You just have to learn to find peace in it, as strange as it may seem.

So, it seems @Leo Gura that what is lost on me is your, hmm, fixation (?) on complexity of reality. I wouldn't say that we're any more complex as a collective organism than we were, lets say - 10000 years ago. Now, we have all the knowledge and all the names for various constructs and interactions, but the underlying principle is the same. We still have no clue what is going on, and we still try to control the outcome. The only change we have created is that instead of being lost in unconsciousness - we are lost in knowledge. Human race has not solved even a single problem. We have only renamed them, or moved them out of our field of view.

The difference may be the egoic need to 'control' outcomes. To me, prophecy is an infinite zoom stored as a static construct (such as a text, like in 'mystical experiences'). It has no use. Come to think of it - it just came to my mind that it can be a way to discharge the tension. Although it did not lessen it, but increased it. It works like an infinite mirror, a resonance chamber. Interesting. Oh, the chasm between emptiness and love. Are you sure that you are not too heavily relying on the body though? To me, emptiness and love are pretty close, actually.

Yeah, I totally 'get' it. It's a bodymind. It's been a mind>body only because of ignorance. I'm very aware that they come together and one affects the other and vice versa. Feelings color the sketches of thoughts. Crayons are picked so that the painting makes sense. It's not even that it is a bodymind, or mindbody. It's bmoidnyd. The mind keeps track of the time, but it doesn't know when is the 'right' time to keep track of the time . Everything, always happens 'now'. When the heart feels like it. And Now is Forever.

If the tension is what you call 'energy', then yes - definitely. What will happen if I won't? I've been on a quest of exploration for a past few years regarding the mind-body connection. To me, body is an extension of the mind that plays back-and forth with it. I'm at the point in which the mind is used not to control things, but to observe and cut unnecessary attachments so that the body can act freely and safely. I don't even feel like I 'control' the body any longer. I can also see the feedback loop between thoughts and emotions, so it is not that 'I' am the mind. It's more that I am something in which thoughts and feelings arise and my 'job' is to be present to feelings so that they do not get stored within the body or acted out mindlessly. For a long time I've been able to shift the 'tension' from the third eye and the crown down to throat, but in the past week or so - it had changed. Now, I can move it down to heart and below down to the root. When I focus on the breath, it is the most pleasant experience I have throughout the day. Sometimes, the energy 'shoots' through my limbs pleasantly. I can even 'freeze' it in-place to produce a semi-orgasmic state, but I'm not too well versed in that yet. It requires a lot of effort and tenses my muscles a lot. Especially around the chest. When I go about it, it becomes very intense and my breathing 'locks' on deep inhalation. Strange things I'm exploring these days.

@Leo Gura Your answer is very entertaining (sorry!), but you haven't answered what I feel to be the central question: I am not for, or against freedom. There is freedom in regulation and there is regulation in freedom. Even if:

Oh, that thread had kept me going for a whole week. One of the deepest hmm... 'things' yet. Very deep insights were produced there. I'm still very fond of it . Maybe you are a psychic of some sort? You really seem preoccupied with prophecies. Here's another thread about the 'tension': Does it ring any bells? Do you have any names for it that I can pursue? Any pointers?

@Leo Gura You have a good point here. My question is: what is the solution? Regulation is nothing else than creating a big ego to suppress a mass of small egos. If we need to check the small egos, then what checks the big ego? Are we wishing that these egos become occupied with each other and find a way to function? How is that any different from what we have right now?

Oh yes, I remember. I thought that you didn't like my answers back then . Come on, don't be shy . Many words, little sense. I died. I became acquainted with the Nothing. "I" fell off and came back different. Then fell off again. Then came back. It comes and goes all the time. Sometimes for seconds and sometimes for weeks. I can always see through it though. Here's the link to my thread, but the amount of awakenings had changed. I stopped counting at seven:

@now is forever I'm not interested in the practices perse, but exploring the territory in general. Wishing for things to come to me is a double-edged sword in the hands of a fool such as myself. After all, one of my favorite sayings is: "be careful what you wish for, it might just come true". The interesting bit is about liberation and altered states of consciousness. It sounds like enlightenment textbook. I'm not reading it to become enlightened, but to better understand what happened to me. And what situation did you mean in May?

@now is forever I am a Shaman (albeit a modest one). So, today I purchased Lieber Null & Psychonaut: An Intorduction to Chaos Magic by Peter J. Carroll. This book is fucking brutal. It's like I'm reading my life explained in words I didn't know existed. Frankly, some parts of it scare me and that's a compliment if I say so myself. My favorite sentence thus far is: I remember that you used the term "chaos magic" once @now is forever . Did you come across some other books about it?

Despite what I said about my life purpose, I'm starting to understand it and perhaps, I have even given it a name. Or rather - A name popped up first, and then, after some research, I understand what I want to do. Should I spoil it?

@Zweisteinok, ok. Even if we helped you, you would still have to figure out our responses on your own .

I actually think that facing the inner child/madness is crucial in the process of growing up. Ending up as as disillusined, selfdestructive or lemming adult is a halted growth in my opinion. We desensitize ourselves to preserve the inner structure of identity. We kill the child to be the adult. That's not going to work. It's yin and yang. It has to flow. Build and destroy. The child is the chaotic soup from which personality arises. To kill the child is to kill the human. I also think that formalizing parenting in the form of school/license is not the best idea either. I don't have a child, but I think that parenting is highly customized to the child's needs. How do we account for that in a system that is supposed to encompass the whole of society? It same critique applies for schooling as it is right now. It is just outsourcing parenting to an institution. The saddest thing is that it cannot be done any other way without relapsing the way in which society works. With the hyper-specialization of adults, we just can't give our children too much attention anymore. I don't think that growing up can be a mass-production enterprise. It is an inner work. Either we want to do it, or we don't. Outside stimuli have nothing to do with it.