tsuki

No, that sort of delusion is something only a mind can pull off.

Never seen any of those movies.

@mandyjw I already tried. She's not getting it. She's prejudiced against empty stuff.

Okay. No pressure.

Would you write a little essay about the Squirming Idiot for me? Did it?

@kindayellow Similarity between the concept of physical death and ultimate happiness is an unsettling one, but in my experience, it's undeniable. In moments of great peace, it also slipped my tongue that 'I could die right now". The reconciliation of this morbid connection comes from understanding the mechanics of desire. When we desire, we want something to be present. We strive for it to release ourselves from this feeling. Satisfaction comes from release, not from fulfillment/happiness. This is why desire is suffering. In this sense, death is the ultimate release. The end of time. To conflate this understanding with harm of the physical body is a great misunderstanding. To kill the body in escape from desire is to desire to be desire-less. Suicide is the ultimate confusion. If you feel truly happy, truly free, there is no need to do anything. Why would you kill yourself then? Why would you keep on living? This is why enlightenment is not-knowing.

@now is forever That's a good one.

Are we?

@mandyjw Nope. But then, I became enlightened.

I had a funny conversation with a colleague at work. He came to talk and we started the normal chit-chat. What's up? It's good. What's with your wife? She's fine. Do you watch TV? Nah. What's with the kids? Everything's okay. It was like I was talking to myself.

@Zigzag Idiot Is that a roundabout way of saying: I won't answer your roundabout question?

@Zigzag Idiot Why?

@Zigzag Idiot Have you ever asked yourself what would you do if you became fully awake during your lifetime? Like, now?

@Zigzag Idiot Alright.

That is time dependent. I am not the actor with free will. There is only now. Until recently (an hour or so?) I was still riled up with the fact that the past, my personal story, was folding onto itself, like it never happened. The amount of synchronicities that occurred between the now and many past events felt like foreshadowing in a movie. I had a little ego backlash from that, but I recovered stably. Ego being time, of course.

@Zigzag Idiot I started as an intellectual, but over the past 5 years I've been developing my emotional awareness since my initial awakening. Over the past 2-3 years, I had numerous mystical experiences related to chakra and all of the centers are awakened. The progress was: Third eye* -> Crown -> Throat -> Sacral and the root** -> Heart -> Solar plexus. When I started to develop my emotions, I tried to consciously mediate between them and the intellect. Reconciliation was simultaneous with the awakening of the instinctual center. Now, my everyday interactions are permeated with flow. I can't sincerely say that I reside in any particular center. I'm resting in the now effortlessly and suffering centers me without any striving. It's like time is over. * - The third eye was open ever since I can remember. I used to have multiple lucid dreams in my childhood. ** - The root seems to have always been open, but its recognition was simultaneous with the recognition of the Sacral. In fact, the final step was like there was no progression to begin with. Like it's always been that way, unbeknownst to me.

@mandyjw Leo was not even able to hear the question I was asking back then. He bailed by blaming language for being dualistic and that I confuse relative with absolute.

@mandyjw Have you seen this thread? I bet you're gonna like it.

Very good. When will you see the doctor? Make sure to not confuse enlightenment with the death of the body. Here is a great post by @Preetom that highlights this difference:

@mandyjw Are you acquainted with chakras? Are you sure it's not solar plexus chakra waking up? When I was dying my whole body was on fire.

@mandyjw Are you trying to be in the present sometime in the future? Are you worried that you've lost the present moment in the past?

And it keeps being hell until you realize it's no different from paradise.