tsuki

And here's the"I" talking. The spiritual one.

@now is forever It's not that I don't like your symbols. You are already symbolic so there isn't much to do for me here. Should I symbol the symbols? That's too much even for me.

now I get it. The I goes away. Bye bye!

@now is forever Sorry, but are you going anywhere? You're breaking my heart! I would comment on your journal if you were less ambiguous and symbolic. Or maybe it is best if you stay that way... I think you're doing great. I believe in you.

Thanks to the recent emotional turmoil and the appearance of the Joker, I was able to identify him as a foreign entity. I did the vacuum cleaner meditation yesterday and today's RTCM session confirmed him to be a dragon with a firm yes. Today's meditation is supposedly the last one.

Self-image narrated by thought is the experience of resisting the present moment.

@mandyjw I'm very happy to hear that you connected with your father. You even had some time to know @now is forever better. I think the three of us will make good friends. In today's I-ching reading I received two hexagrams: Gathering together and Nature. One is a guidance regarding human relationships, and the other is traditionally associated with the feminine principle. This is so fitting that it scares me . It gives me hope too, thankfully .

3.04.2019 (two days ago) 62 ䷽ Preponderance of the small, lines 1,3,4,6 27 ䷚ Nourishing I really loved the symmetry of these hexagrams. 62 is Ken/Chen and 27 is Chen/Ken. The first one symbolizes a bird flying out of the nest, while the second is an open mouth with teeth.

I feel like a rabid animal stuck in a cage. The ego desperately wants to claim ownership of this situation and react to it. To figure out how to deal with it. To find relationships between shadows and disrupt them. That's a no-no. That brings more confusion. My wife is my physical mommy, @now is forever is my emotional mommy and @mandyjw is my cruel mommy. I need to integrate.

@now is forever I'm sorry! We really need to figure something out with the mess that's happening here. Confusion needs to settle down first. I can't think straight for now. It's like my mind tries various thought patterns that worked before, but I keep being mindful and it just drops out. Like beliefs that were there before aren't available anymore so it just gives up. I actually have to stop being mindful to write posts like this one. When I read them again, they don't make much sense .

@now is forever Mommy knows me! It's so cute that you explain that after she ripped through this place.

@mandyjw Post your songs in your own journal. Please.

Oh, I know that one Mandy. My favorite song of Parov Stelar.

It's such an amazing experience to suffer without breaking the flow. It's like I'm surrendering to the fact that I resist hahahaha. Only the mind can come up with twists like this. Anyways, my meditation proved very fruitful. All of my 7 chakras are active and fully open. It's beautiful, very soothing.

Let's just pretend it's an Ego backlash, okay?

Lots and lots and lots of confusion. The mind wants to express something, but it ends up in jagged sentences dropped midway. Can it even say anything useful? Without blaming? It even blames itself for blaming. Lots of confusion. Turbulent flow of chi. Still, my heart is stabbed open and I don't want to embrace it and I can't seem to think about it. I think it is a good time to meditate. Good that I don't have a lot to do at work today.

I have no clue what Love is, but I'm glad that it knows what I am. Egoic love on the other hand is just a shadow-based attraction. Unexplainable familiarity of another that promises to satisfy the needs that we disown. It is reciprocated when shadows are symmetrical. It is unrequited when they're not. This is how we know that we want that person, but we can't explain why. At least now I recognize what Love is.

Nope, no boundary. That's the whole point.

My heart chakra is active. It's been a while.

Hmm, I need to thank the Sage for the opportunity to bring the Joker out this much. Now I can kill that little rascal. I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

Please don't cast spells like that. It's harmful. You should know better than that.