PsiloPutty

@Psyche_92 That was educational.....thanks for the links. I had no idea that there was a "Nofap.com"

@Psyche_92 Yeah, and I'm guessing that "keeping up with it" doesn't involve edging, which is why I think that'll have to go if I want to get more relaxed with the new lifestyle. Edging is like trying to quit eating junkfood, but still keeping a box of Little Debbies under your bed just to sniff and look at when you get hungry. It's fuckin masochism, and it will probably keep me focused on my penis for as long as I keep doing it. NO MORE EDGING

Aside from some boob pictures that the girl texted me, I haven't looked at any porn. I see sexual scripts running in my head all the time, though. Masturbating and stopping just short of orgasm is borderline masochism, so I haven't done that more than a couple times. Man, learning how to not scratch the itch is the hardest part. My ego wants to do it, and I'm sure it's only because I'm telling it no.

I did a guided YouTube meditation yesterday on balancing my solar plexus chakra, but that's all the experience I have with it. I just went with that chakra because I have some guilt and shame to work through, and someone said that is the chakra to work with for that issue. Aside from feelings, how do you know which chakra needs work?

It's worthwhile to try it and see how things go, but yeah, I'd guess that you won't be in there the whole time. LOL, not meant to sound assholish. I'm probably just putting MYSELF in that situation, and I get kind of "wandery" around the house on psychedelics. I start off with meditation, but eventually end up slowly roaming the house, chanting "Om" with a heavy, fur blanket over me and shit like that. Maybe you can do it, who knows. Let us know, though.

As has been said, I'd think a darkness retreat would be enough of a natural psychedelic on its own, so I wouldn't be taking any ground mushroom capsules on the retreat if it were me. Not that I don't have the curiosity to wonder what a 3-hour darkness meditation sit would be like on 2g of cubes. It could be incredible.

No, I don't think a mushrooms trip would necessarily be a bad idea for most people with anxiety. As someone else said in this thread, the "come up" will likely be the hardest part of the trip for you, as it happens with a quickness and it's often confusing. Think of a mushroom trip as being on a space shuttle mission. The blastoff is the most volatile, violent and most intense experience of the mission; once you're up in space, you can look around and take things in, since it's the main data-collecting time of the experience. You find out what you can up there and then you come back down and tell the rest of the ants what you saw and learned. Same with a mushroom trip. They've been helping us humans for thousands upon thousands of years. I'm guessing your anxiety isn't something they've never seen before, man. Your set and setting is almost more important than the dose you decide on (3g dried is a good starting spot for most), because you want to be as physically and mentally comfortable as you can before the trip. You'll have fear in you before you do it, but that shouldn't be thought of as a bad sign. I'm sure you'll be anxious too, but anyone who is serious about their psychedelics will have some of that beforehand. The hardest part is working up the nerve to just do it.

Welp, survived the weekend without an "O." A girl was supposed to come over Saturday night, but that didn't happen. I was ready to give in and whip it out when she texted that she couldn't make it, but I exercised instead. Here's a personal question for guys that have been there and done that......if I get to fantasizing about sex, for the next hour I'll get pre-come dripping outta me, like a horny dog. Doesn't bother me, but I don't remember reading about it with no-fap. Hopefully the nonstop horniness will ease up on me soon because it's a drivin' me itchy!!!

Eh, shitballs. Looks like I'll have a while to wait for the payoff. I have a date this weekend......is it bad to reeeeally hope it goes awesome? I would think the no-fap would be far easier for a dude who had a consistent woman in his life.

@Shroomdoctor How long have you (not) been at it? I've had agitation, along with all other emotions being heightened as well. Even though meditation has been helping, I hope the emotions find their equilibrium soon.

Found a used copy of that book online and ordered it. Was going to ask about related books, but *bam!* the answer was here waiting for me this morning. Thanks for the suggestion.

I'm older than most people here, and I've battled ED for a long time. I'll tell you one thing, though......when I don't masturbate for more than a week, I can get hard MUCH easier. Have you used Viagra? If you haven't, the chances are good that it'll help a ton. Don't get so down on yourself! You're more than a penis, man. I know it's frustrating, disempowering, emasculating and unfair, but life isn't just sex.

Yes, this is the truth, even though it's difficult, especially with soooo much information and trip reports available. My very first psychedelic trip was with ayahuasca, and it was huge in changing my mind, my life. I can't put into words the shift in perspective that it produced in me. Psilocybin has become my go-to substance, but I would still be on my old path of living a lifeless life without ayahuasca. My eyes fill with tears just thinking and typing about it. If this is something you feel drawn to, do it. There's no problem whatsoever with ayahuasca being your first psychedelic experience.

Up until yesterday, it'd been more than a year since a girl sent me sexy (mild) naked pics, but it's happening now. It's fun, don't get me wrong, but damn I'm not supposed to be looking at anything porny. Not gonna fap it, though.

Thanks! I see now that I should have posted this in the no-fap thread already running. I'm just interested in pursuing self-development, and read that it could/would increase confidence and joy. I used hard porn about 2x a week and masturbated about 3x a week, so I wasn't doing it all the time, but it seemed like a form a self-slavery. It felt like......a jerkoff!

For me, it was born from the growing knowledge that it would be easy for me to spend the remainder of my life doing everything as I had always done it. Being angry, insecure, anxious, drunk, hiding at home, faking normalcy, faking contentedness, following bequeathed life blueprints, going through the motions but not feeling much. I was made aware of psychedelics, and did ayahuasca, which opened my eyes/mind/life up to new perspectives. Leo's were the first self-improvement videos that I found, and the rest is unfolding every day in front of me.

I like these words. Thank you.

"Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth...." (a line from one of my favorite poems, which reads like an instruction manual for Life)

@Psyche_92 LOL, I was gonna say that I first clicked on that video in order to see her Kundalini practice, but I'm pretty sure I clicked on it because it's clear that she's not wearing a bra. Maybe I was hoping to see her Cundalini. So, intercourse is OK right? Like completely OK?

Dammit man, I started reading this thread, got to feeling all powerful about the possibilities, and then......this fucking porn. Naked boobs bouncing to and fro....bout came in my pants. I got it bad, fellas!!!!

Sounds like a Yin and Yang kind of night.

Happy you had a good trip. Can you imagine how much the world would change if everyone drank aya just once?

I realize on some level that I am everyone and everyone is me; that we're all the same something. The flame that you call "mother" will go out in a few years, as will yours, and may spring up somewhere else as something else. Nothing is permanent; there's comfort in that knowledge for some folks as well as fear for others. If none of that helps answer your question, maybe something like writing her the most open letter that you've ever written would help. Tell her everything lovely that you remember about her from your childhood. Her actions in loving you, the special meals she made for you or whatever comes to mind. Make yourself vulnerable. Don't skip saying something sappy because of pride. Everyone THINKS of writing a letter like this, but most of us don't end up sitting down and doing it. It's really so much easier to swallow your pride and say these things while she's alive than it will be to forgive yourself after she's gone for NOT saying them.

@Talkawuer It's REALLY tough to not do something that we've spent our whole lives doing. Judging others is accepted in most every aspect of society, so it's been one of the most difficult things for me to realize that I'm doing. It's a very insidious thing, it's so under-the-radar for most of us. If you're somewhat new to self-development, like I am, I think you're doing well by simply noticing the behavior when it happens. It's the first step in fixing it. It's easy to become desensitized to the phrase "You just have to forgive yourself for it" but it's a key aspect of moving forward in this confusion. If you're really hard on yourself for anything at this stage (judging others, a rotten meditation session, masturbating, etc), you end up mentally kicking your own ass so hard that you see the entire endeavor as not being worth the pain and you go back to being your old low-consciousness self.

Our government has experimented with psychedelics; probably more than we 're told, so they know that mushrooms, DMT and LSD tend to make people re-ask the most fundamental questions of their existence. There's no cash-cow tax benefit imaginable on psychedelics that would make it worth (to them) upsetting the whole cultural apple cart. The last thing any government wants is a couple hundred thousand newly-awakened people squawking about peace, love, mind expansion and making your OWN choices in life. Keep that shit quiet, regardless of how much free money is involved in legalization.......