Ibn Sina

WOW, this is a huge insight. I think this single line explains a LOT. My parents are also the type who want me to marry the person of their choosing, and who give their opinions (without me asking) on whoever I am attracted to. They are not the "I will be happy with whoever you want to marry" type. Whenever something about relationships comes up, they (and all my other family) HAVE TO give their opinions for some silly reasons. It's like a board meeting is organized for absolutely no reason at all. This is a typical indian culture scene , any person from indian subcontinent can relate. My other interpretation about this was my parents hate me and don't want me to be happy , but linking them with stage blue opens up new explanations. My parents are not evil, or hate me. My parents are just stage blue (so is 99% of people where I live)

As I have already said- this is the reason- "it''s like saying - if people see me sing beautifully and cheer for me say woooo with happiness , and somebody says to me, they are not cheering for you they are booing you. And I have heard stories of girls where 2 girls sat together and they see a guy looking at the prettier girl and the uglier girl says look the guy is looking at me. Wouldn't that make the beautiful girl angry. This is what is happening here. Besides, if that ugly girl says 'look that guy is looking at me' to the beautiful girl , then it is infuriating to the beautiful girl in 2 ways, first it is apparently false because her eyes see otherwise, and second it decreases the girl's sense of worth, the ugly girl is trying to push the belief that she is not as attractive as she is, so again there is more negativity. So do you see how this situation is infuriating to everyone if they get in this situation. " You say- this is about looking at the cause of what is causing you such resistance. Yes I have looked into the cause and above is the cause, and that situation is inherently infuriating. I think this what you are suggesting is abnormal. Tell anyone that he/she/it doesn't love you and chances are they will be sad, and tell them he/she/it loves you, they will be happy. Only abnormal people would feel not the slightest bit of unhappiness because of hearing he/she/it doesn't love you because 'they love themselves.' And in my case it is coming from people that I trust, my parents, so the emotional toll is even greater. This is just how things should be. I don't see anything wrong with me as you are (I think) suggesting.

Okay they may be protecting me, but here's the thing. Apparently , her actions are that she is trying to talk with me with smile and happiness, so apparently she may be even liking me, there's a possibility. What I feel bad about is that, my parents have completely wiped out the possibility that she even likes me. And I think anyone would get angry. It's like saying- if people see me sing beautifully and cheer for me say woooo with happiness , and somebody says to me, they are not cheering for you they are booing you. And I have heard stories of girls where 2 girls sat together and they see a guy looking at the prettier girl and the uglier girl says look the guy is looking at me. Wouldn't that make the beautiful girl angry. This is what is happening here. So as you suggest I don't think there is a subtle baggage that is making me hate my family, but I think me being upset here is normal for any person. Besides, if that ugly girl says 'look that guy is looking at me' to the beautiful girl , then it is infuriating to the beautiful girl in 2 ways, first it is apparently false because her eyes see otherwise, and second it decreases the girl's sense of worth, the ugly girl is trying to push the belief that she is not as attractive as she is, so again there is more negativity. So do you see how this situation is infuriating to everyone if they get in this situation. So either my parents are stupid enough to think that by doing that they are protecting me which infact is makes me angry like the above 2 examples, and if they were protecting they could have said- if you like her then be careful with her, but rejecting the possibility that another person loves you is a depressing thing, because the input that another human being loves you is always a good, healing thing, the feeling of being loved is healing, and my parents can add with - okay but you might get hurt if you pursue her she might be a trap. But they are denying the possibility that she even loves me, which is a depressing thing. I mean that is always a depressing thing to say, replace that with- the dog doesn't love you, your brother doesn't love you, no one loves, your best friend doesn't love you. 'doesn't love' is always depressing', (when it comes to peope you really love, and neutral things like- dog, people in general with you are neutral, exception is people you really hate) so I don't think it's abnormal that I am upset, I don't think I am reacting in an abnormal way, but me being upset I think is normal. Let's say my best guy friend did good things to me, and someone says, he doesn't love me, wouldn't be infuriating in the 2 ways I mentioned? 1. Apparent lie. Suggesting that the other person is jealous or something 2. Decrease in sense of worth. It applies with everything.

#True story So here’s the thing. There is a beautiful girl who I like. We used to talk with each other, text each other. But we were not that close, we only used to text, but not really talk face to face often ( it’s a long story). In 2018 may, it was our semester practical exams. She sent me a one liner text asking for help about some medical slides. I helped her , and gave her 10 liner answer showing that I care her and love her. She sent message for 2 consecutive days. The semester exam ended, 2 days after that I saw the messages and found that she had sent many messages. My huwaei mobile sent the notifications late. I apologized to her for not replying to her. She stopped replying. I believed and accepted that she broke up with me. Months past by, days past by, we didn’t speak. Then a few months back, when I was sitting alone in class she came and talked to me. I gave her a few worded answer. Again few months past by. And It happened few days ago. After college I went to a near hotel to eat, she was also there with her fat ugly friend. We made our orders at the counter, and she went to one corner, and I went to the opposite far corner. We had our meals, and as luck would have it , she and I went finished our meal and went to the counter exactly at the same time. Her fat ugly friend was in the middle and we were beside her. And then it happened. She said to me ” How are you?” She smiled, laughed , was very happy to see me. We had a chat for 5 mins. At the end I said to her “Stay happy” with a smile. With a big smile, half laughing, looking down she said “Okay okay” Later that day, with my mother, I told her she ___ talked to me. For unknown reason, both my mother and father say, she talked to you only as a friend, she doesn’t like you, she is only talking you as a friend. I mean , why are they so negative? And more over, why should they immediately say that she doesn’t like me, she only sees you as a friend not a lover, when all I said was- she talked to me? I know that guys tend to immediately think that the girl likes him if she talks to him, but I am not that type of guy. But again, why be so negative? It could be anything isn’t it? May be she talks to me as a friend or because she really likes me. I haven’t asked to her do you only like me as a friend or as something more? Nothing has been confirmed, but my parents are immediately saying- she only likes you as a friend. Again, it’s so stupid and it makes me angry. Why if a girl talks to me , it’s immediately about whether she likes you or not, but if a guy talks to me, then it’s nothing. I think both should be treated the same way. Girl should also be seen and thought as any guy friend. There shouldn’t be great fuss just because a girl and guy talk. And if a girl and guy talk, then untill it is confirmed, there is both the possiblity that it is friendship or love untill it is confirmed. But my parents immediately develop negativity saying she doesn’t like you. What if that girl thinks – Why doesn’t this guy get the signs that I like him? Isn’t it obvious by now? Why are guys so autistic? Or may be she thinks- I will make him think I like him, but then later I will surprise him with a friendzone Or she may be just liking me as a friend. All I am saying is, untill questions are asked and things are confirmed, my parents should not immediately say she doesn’t like you, when it is she who is talking with me, and not the other way around. Some may say my parents are just preventing me from getting rejected and having false hope. The thing is, I have never told them that I like her. All that they know is that we talk, but I talk with my guy friends too, but my parents already assume that I love her. The reality is that I don’t like her that much, I have no hope of any relationship with her. But when I say- she talked to me, they say she doesn’t like you, as if they think I want her and I already have hopes for her.

I just wanted to express my deep thanks and gratitude to @Leo Gura for introducing me to Groyeter with his second video on conscious politics. I think her work is absolutely revolutionary and a game changer, and it's the type of work that I have always wanted to read.

Those tears were not the usual ones, they were of a different kind because they were crying with a deep yearning for a higher world consciousness . They were crying because Chris's singing made them deeply feel John's vision of the ideal world, and they knew that it was too idealistic to ever be true but just imagine for a single for a single moment if it was true what it would be like, what it would be like.....

Based on my readings and experience with people, Extraversion is a personality trait where people want the company of others. These are the people who are depressed when they say - I feel so lonely, I have no friends. They feel like people not liking them is the worst thing in the world. These are the people mad about not having a girlfriend by x age, wanting to look cool compared to their social circle. For me, frankly, I am not lying, these are completely foreign emotions to me and at the same time ridiciously illogical. I have never understood the phrase " I feel so lonely, I have no friends" . Also, having such cravings , from a spiritual/buddhist point of view, is lack of development, because that means you are attached to the appearance of this 'life dream' Introverts, do not have such impulses to talk to people ( cannot say for every introvert, but I don't have these, and I am an introvert, so this is what I think) I used to be friends with an extroverts. I didn't used to talk much , but my friends used to talk about all illogical shits- Who is dating whom, comparing people, criticizing people, spreading rumors about people. I used to be in relationship with a girl, and for no reason they would start talking about her and with no evidence or any logic at all would say things like she doesn't like you, she is dating other guy. They would love to criticize each other, trying to get reactions out of each other and me, for no reason. Then I did some studying about personality, and read that one of the traits of extraverts have more tendency to engage in confrontations , extraverts are more aggressive (again, a sign of low development, since high morality and control of aggression is associated with the prefrontal cortex of the brain (Medical physiology Guyton and all) like wise Peacefullness , Blissfulness in solitude is ofcourse associated with higher spiritual development). It's like it is an 'itch' for extraverts to perform all those drama. It is an impulse.They do not feel happy without doing all the shits that they do. If they are alone, they panic, they immediately try to mingle with 'the herd'. I have observed this 'neediness' in countless of occasion. Observing that, I can say that it is like an impulse within them, a panic response. And for most people, this is the case , based on my observations of many many people in the course of my life. And yea, there is something opposite also. There is also a psychology where such need is absolutely absent. There is just very deep , holy bliss in silence and solitude. And that evidence(best evidence for me) is me. I have deep, peaceful kind of silence within me that gives me peace when I am alone in tune with nature. I don't need the company of others, but I can entertain a butterfly if it comes flying and sits besides me and enjoys nature with me.

Wow. I have seen paintings of elephant bowing to Buddha. I think it's a motif in Buddhism.

July 19 5:22pm I feel absolutely great. I have solved many key problems. I got my 'lost stuffs'. I feel highly positive about my upcoming ICM exam and Physio exam. Tomorrow is saturday. There is plenty of time. I developed some key 'insights' on effective learning, and focus (which ofcourse I cannot share), developed a much powerful way to eliminate distractions. Things are going well as they should be. I have also started to journal and also developed the concept of 'thinking journal'. Right now, for some reason, I am worried about my future, okay, I will get a 9-5 job, so what? How can I reach a high point? It's such a tough road. How can I be something special? All I can see is my 9-5 job, but I want to be someone of high stature, like someone who owns a supermarket, or a cinema hall or a huge apartment building. I want to be someone like that. But I can't see how. All I can think of is getting old, saving money, and investing. That's it, the long way. But , ofcourse, unless you can pull of a Justin Bieber or Bill Gates or something, everything else is just wishful thinking , and 9-5 job is all there is. Also, I am worried about my interactions with people. It's okay if now I am not social, but will I forever be like this? Ofcourse, there is no need to worried, I am unsocial because right now productivity is my priority. But later, I can be as much social as I want. Past is not equal to present. Present is not equal to future.

One of my goals is to understand why did Fredrich Neitzsche gave so much importance and value to trees? He uses the symbol of the tree in many of his works, few I have noted is Thus spake Zarathustra and his Early greek philosophy and others essay collection. He derived a lot of his philosophy from trees. I want to understand that in depth. I have very less understanding of Neitzsche, mostly it comes from wikipedia articles and dabbling here and there in audiobooks. Do you have any idea about this @Joseph Maynor?

July 15 Working on Renal system. I have learned about Renal failure which is difficult. My goal is to learn at least 20 difficult topics first.

If Buddha hadn't spoken after his enlightened, if Leo hadn't done actualized.org, if Osho hadn't spoken....... I can't fathom such a dead world where we are all in a never ending pit of an illusion. You ask, why do we talk about this? It's out of love. It's to show people that they there is a way out of suffering. And Bodhisattvas risk it all, they know that many people won't get them but still they will show people the path. But Arhats are the opposite, they won't say a thing about their enlightenment and won't help people actively like Bodhisattvas do. I have noticed in many of your posts so much negativity. You are constantly correcting people , displaying frustrations, saying 'this' is useless, 'this' doesn't work, showing anger, showing hopelessness (your denial/ 'you are assuming' is not going to help since your posts display this) Enlightenment is reachable. God can be attained. We can be liberated from our suffering. You have corrected ajatstya, nahm, surfingwave say things like 'noonne will understand it anyway' as if you have much higher understanding above everyone else. It's like everybody is wrong and you are right,. Correcting others constantly with nonsense is not going to help , Unless you are a genius who can see way above others (which is less likely), correcting everyone is just waste of time for you and others.

@Raphael My emphasis is on neediness of people and making unnecessary drama and confrontations (of low moral nature) frequently for stimulations to get rid of boredom. Sadhguru and Joe Rogan are very outgoing, people loving people but I don't think they show the above traits. They discuss stuffs to learn, to develop themselves and others, they do not do confrontations out of the blue just for the sake of entertainment , but only when it's necessary, they have high sense of morals. All I am saying is if people show the above traits then it's more likely that they are less developed psychologically, spiritually, cognitively (since those traits like neediness, drama are not the characteristics of higher psychological, spiritual development )and such traits in my experience are found only in extroverts. If an introvert starts showing frequent drama, confrontations, neediness, then chances are he is not even an introvert, because that is against the definition of an introvert. So like the examples you gave there can be extroverts who are much mature, and developed, but within the huge group called 'extroverts' is a subgroup which shows the above trait and I think they are less developed since those are traits of an undeveloped mind. But again, within the huge group of 'introverts', is there another subgroup which show the traits of underdeveloped / dysfunctional psychology?

I deeply watched Leo's videos on conscious politics, I might post my notes which can help to spread his message in a clear, concise way to more people. Overall, ya it's a good idea. It is a great application of non-duality teaching in politics. In part 1st it has been more about what conscious politics is and the vision of conscious politics. But I think the biggest challenge is how to translate this vision in the mainstream. I think that would be the most challenging problem and his other videos should clarify on that more, the 'how' of conscious politics. I can see a lot of ways in which that vision may not be translated in the mainstream, its toooo radical. I can't see how the collective ego of USA or of any other country will take that in.

It's like you are worrying about being an introvert. Saying things like- I constructed ____. Blaming yourself for your introversion You say- My social skills are definitely below average. I have convinced myself that it is simply not a priority for me. Again, it's like you think you have done something wrong, your social skill is below average so there is something wrong with me. Leo's Self deception vids (due to people misunderstanding) has created this problem where it's now not okay to act in accordance with natural impulses and desires as they come naturally comes and go, always there is the ghost of self deception hanging above it. Osho gives emphasis on living existentially, just live in the moment, whatsovever happens happen, do whatever the moment demands. He would say " You have prepared your questions, but I have not prepared my answers" Just live authentically, if your impulses don't want socializing it's okay, if it wants , it's okay. Go with it. There is nothing wrong with how you are acting naturally and spontaneously. That is not avoidance strategy or mental diseases, that's just God expressing through you.

I think you can just throw away any beliefs like- we are all god, we don't exist, we are all robots who are controlled by strings. Don't worry about such things. It is okay to reject whatever Leo is saying, you don't have to take every thing he says as truth and as a result when it clashes with your beliefs it only causes such crisis in you. I have watched Leo since 2013 and he was not the person like he is today, Leo of 2013 and Leo of 2019 would think of each other as idiots if they were to meet. Only After many many many many videos step by step , years and years of practice and awakenings he has come to this point where it's like what he says is non-sensical. But it's just that his consciousness has reached new levels that we can't even see it so when he says things like that itbecomes non-sensical to us. If you want , just do the meditation, do the practices, and see if these things change you gradually or not. After all, the motivation for doing that is the benefits of having enlightenment, the desire to end suffering. That's the starting point. Every non dualist starts as dualist to imporve his life, including Leo. And from there comes all these non-duality stuffs that you aren't able to cope with. If you don't want that then just do whatever makes you happy. Go on with your life. Such things about God are in an spiritual plane and can only be understood through experience, but trying to assimilate it in your normal dual world view only creates frustrations. Without experience, don't even try to make such ideas compatible with ordinary reality. What you are experiencing is one of the dangers of jumping directly into one of Leo's high spirituality video. But you have to realize how gradually and slowly he has reached there.

@Mikael89 I think there is a logical way that can give comfort to the logical mind about whether enlightenment is a brain thing (though the direct way would be the awakening with practices and psychedelics) Here's the thing. The brain has many parts, many lobes, many areas, and many functions. Each part has it's own functions, some responsible for emotions, some for memory, some for auditory sense, some visual sense you name it every experience has a part in the brain. But of the experiences that she describes, there is no part in the brain that corresponds to it. Your brain takes impulses from the receptors, from skin, bones, cartilages, muscle spindles. Your sense of self in the body comes from the firings from the receptors and the brain assimilating it. She is saying she literally felt like she was a wall. She couldn't feel like she was in the body. So there was disconnection with the receptors , but receptors through spinal cord are connected with the brain, so this means she was disconnected with the brain and still had experience. The stroke momentarily detached her from the brain. And stroke means the ischaemia in the brain, so there was stopping of blood supply momentarily, and alternate reperfusion and ischaemia may have caused her her experiences. She had near death experiences in successions. So ya, I am not someone who blindly accepts any thing that's presented to me, but I think such experiences are outside the brain and a reality outside the brain does exist.

Wow this is such an insightful thread. Thanx a lot for such a profound answer @Leo Gura

No matter what you do, you slap Leo, you slap your self, you jump, you eat, you dream, you don't dream, you see 7 colors of rainbows, you see the absolute void of space between the stars,You touch and feel, feel it's solid, feel it's painful, feel it's pleasurable, you think this is a dream, you think this is reality, whether you think you are in London, or Paris, or Las Vegas, or Brooklyn they are all appearances You only have your first person awareness. You are not in Las Vegas, Brooklyn, you are always in the same place, only the appearances are changing Whether you jump, whether you move from one place to other , there is always something absolutely still. Your visual field is changing, your sensations are changing, your body is changing, time is changing, your space is changing but behind it , there is something is still that it eternal. That thing is never in Las Vegas or Brooklyn, but always here. That thing is never in the past or future , but always now.

I have always thought donation in 2 ways- - a thing of the people with weak mind who are afraid of God or other diety, who think donation will give them karma, who do not have a hard grasp of cause and effect, who donate because of the fear that they too may be in an unfortunate situation. - Those who donate out of share love, they have nothing to gain in return. They just want to lessen the suffering of others, or they love something so much that donating to them is no problem and it is what they want to do with all their soul. If it is of the second type, only then you should donate. If you don't have such love or empathy, then it's better to invest (Read the book Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham) than donating because of fear or some karma nonesense. And why do people like Bill Gates and billionaires donate? To look good. That's it. I don't think it's because of love and desire to change the world for the better.

@Dan502 Your answer is so succinct. But my answers are so long. This must mean I am an idiot.

@DrewNows I watched the vid. At one point (3:36) she says- "Extroverts feel absence of life itself and spends is his her time seeking out initiating situations where they can feel alive" aaaaahhhh, explains so much, right in the bulls eye. She clearly explains what those people I encounter who are constantly trying to create stimulations and drama are doing. They feel so hollow that they have to do all that. That is exactly what I am saying in my original post. What I didn't know about was the hollowness, so apparently this hollowness in them is what generates the impulse in them that creates neediness and drama. She also talks about being both extrovert and introvert. Ofcourse, it's not that I avoid people, I talk to people whenever I want, but I don't need stimulations like the extroverts, my mind is always bombarding with stimulations, sometimes I feel sad or happy by myself , I am already on a roller coaster inside my head and heart. The trait that introverts should remove is not wanting to engage with people(if they have this trait). I think that's the only wrong thing about introversion.

Okay, but I have encountered many many many many needy people (as I described above) where I live, and I can't see how they are introvert as they want to talk with people whenever they are without company. That's why I am connecting neediness and extraversion. Introverts may also want it, but usually they are comfortable with themselves most of the time. Yes I agree. But my case is slightly extreme and abnormal in that I don't even need others, but like you I am also comfortable with people (the butterfly beside me) unless they do not talk for the sake of talking like spewing unnecessary shit, or do drama for the sake of doing drama. I have bit low tolerance for that. I don't dislike people or socializing. I dislike bad, immoral people, that's all. But I don't don't crave for socialization either. Yes, I do believe that both introverts and extroverts experience anger, but I was not talking about experiencing the anger, but aggression in the social context. I can say that introverts experience anger because I myself do. But I associated aggression with extroverts because- Wikipedia says- Introverts are non-aggressive. Also, I have read Thomas Jefferson's (an introvert) Biography The Art of Power and it said he avoided confrontation although he disagreed with people. And also, I myself do not indulge in pointless confrontations with people unless I am left with no choice. Let's say there is an introvert who in the course of conversation felt slight annoyance or anger towards someone ( I am not saying Introverts do not feel extreme anger), feel slight anger or annoyance about someone, but they may think, why to start an arguement for such a reason (although I feel some anger). It will only worsen the situation. Let me just go away and ignore him and bury myself in bed instead of a huge drama. Or let me just change the topic. Ofcourse extroverts can also do that, but I am talking about what introverts usually do, and what extroverts usually don't. The thing about the 'other' people I am talking about is pointless drama and aggression, which if you are saying introverts do , then all evidence I have seen point toward the contrary ( again take note, introverts can sometimes come out of their comfort zone and do all that. Like in parties and social gatherings I also summon up my extraversion. The difference is extroverts do it on a daily basis, introverts do it occasionally only) . Introverts even if they are aggressive, do so for a reason, usually when they must, but they don't start out confrontations out of the blue, why? Of course this point doesn't work with those people introverts really (reaaallly ) are close to like their best friend or family. I don't think not needing friends is a sign of high consciousness( though I think it is higher and developed than neediness.) I am not enlightened, I have many problems of my own.. But yea, it is true when I say feeling lonely is foreign to me. Actually, my brother is also like that. He is always on his own, reading books, articles. The difference is he doesn't meditate and write and read poetry,but I do , so in addition I feel happiness in my solitude, just like nature loving poets also do. So it's not so much of a high consciousness thing as it looks since it is not confined to mystics only but to poets,scientists, nerds also.

Thank you so much for the initiative. I think frequently updating it would be a good idea , Other people can also download the .docx file and add some more and update it, upload it, so a much richer , complex book is made.