Rilles

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Everything posted by Rilles

  1. Meh, well probably invent some technology that stalls climate change for 100 years like artificially cooling the planet with solar geoengineering. Its the best we can do until the boomer oil tycoons who caused this die out and we become more Stage Green as a whole.
  2. There are so many cool models out there that we dont know that are super useful for solving problems big and small Johari Window Spiral Dynamics Two Loops Model Ladder of Inference etc etc a video on Leos favourite ones would be cool
  3. Very very similar to "Life Goes In Phases" but more broad, you can apply to alot of things. Very interesting to use this to think about the future of the US.
  4. I thought we could have a thread where we share anecdotal evidence to counter the fearmongering about the Covid-19 vaccine. I took my first dose 2 weeks ago (Moderna) and had no side effects at all except for some sleepiness after the shot, but that couldve been because of anything. I have 4 brothers that have all taken the vaccine and havent had any serious side effects. What about you guys? Please be truthful in your post and dont troll.
  5. Was just about to write this. Ridiculous drug policies here. Leo: I just discovered a crazy new unknown psychedelic! Government: Nope, we discovered it first.
  6. This will be my first real foray into the psychedelic world, I plan to work my way up from 1 gram (dried obviously) to maybe 3 or 4 grams and do around 5 trips over about year or more. I had a traumatic experience with weed when I was around 17 so Im stepping into this carefully, although I know shrooms are nothing like weed. I know I'm fairly prepared for this , I've been researching all kinds of psychoactive chemicals as a hobby for about 10 years. I will be doing them alone because people make me self-conscious and I prefer my own company (Introvert). Do you think 1 gram is enough to just ease me into this or should I go even as low as 0.5 grams?
  7. @nahm @allislove You guys are hyping me up now haha! This will be fun!
  8. Wow thats a handful! Yes, therapy takes alot of bravery if youre not using to dealing with your emotions or talking it out. Yes, you can talk about your problems for years probably but its important to not get stuck in talking and get to the tools you need after a couple of sessions. Yep, my therapist said our purpose in therapy is to become the healthy adult rather than the fearful child.
  9. My friend gave me an idea to write about what therapy was like for me in 2020 so here it goes, long read. What was CBT therapy like? I went to therapy for Social Anxiety. I talked alot about myself, I had an instant connection with my therapist. She mostly listened. What I really loved is how she gently challenged my thoughts and me made me realize how ridiculous and sometimes paradoxical they were. A session was supposed to last an hour but we always went about 10 minutes over time. Obviously I had so much to get off my chest, you can only talk for so long though before your body starts to get amped up, you feel alot of tension and you feel shaky, after about 30 minutes your mind starts to go blank and you lose your ability to say much, thats when you know youve done a good session and need a rest. I had a hard time looking her in the eye and I was very focused on my body language, which is typical of social anxiety. We talked alot about my childhood and my father, she explained to me how all my social fears arent so much social anxiety as a general anxiety and paranoia that I picked up living under fear of him, (I later got unofficially diagnosed by her with General Anxiety Disorder). We started dissecting my thoughts about how others perceive me and how I become very self-conscious around others. After the sessions I would often feel drained and get a sense of depression that lasted a couple hours into the afternoon, I tend to think thats because I dug up alot of stuff that I usually repress. On maybe the sixth session on the way home I felt like something was going to happen, I was about to cry, I held my tears in on the subway home and as soon as I got inside my apartment I put on some songs that I know would trigger me emotionally and burst into tears, I cried a good 30 minutes, it felt really really good. I always got some homework to do when we werent having sessions and I did it dilligently because I wanted to cure myself really badly. I would always come to the sessions with some new insight into how I think around others. I once told her that I feel like others are symbolically "One head taller than I am" and that they know something about me that I dont or that theyre secretly scoffing at me. Of course these are subtle feelings and we started dissecting them trying to evidence for it and of course we didnt find any evidence ever. Thats where the healing begins, when you begin to question all the subtle feelings and thought patterns you have, and then you reframe them when you meet other people. You get really good at this the more you practice and eventually it becomes second nature. She said I should read a book about Schema Therapy because its useful for dealing with my particular problem, I bought the book the same afternoon and probably finished in three days, I still have it here, it cleared up alot of things and taught me alot about myself. Basically the book has about 15 chapters and they all deal with certain thought patterns and fears you may fall into like Fear Of Abandonment, Feeling Of Being an Outsider, Distrusting Others. I was very big on many of these. (The book is called Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey Young.) Eventually after maybe 4 months and 10 sessions I felt like I had the tools I needed to atleast survive on my own in the world without going emotionally crazy. Before my last session I made a list of my "20 Most Poisonous Thoughts", which are thought patterns that are negative and dont help me navigate reality, and cause me suffering, anxiety and sometimes self-sabotage. Here is an excerpt: 1.They're critical toward me because they dont like me, theyre upset with me. 2. I'm meant to be this way, I cant change. 3.Their smile/laughter is mocking me. 4.They're only talking to me because they have to. 5.Their lack of smiling means they dont like me. 6.The akward silence is my fault. These thoughts still come up occasionally but I can reframe them and they dont cause me suffering anymore only some frustration because I dont see why they come up when I dont need them, but someday I'm sure they will just have gone away, one day at a time, its a life long process. Overall I would rate therapy 10/10, if youre willing to do 80% of the work and couple it with some other practices too. I feel like I am atleast 70% healed of my anxiety. Although these things are hard to quantify, but Im happier as a person nowadays. Accept yourself and love yourself, noone else can do it for you, you have to do it yourself. And dont buy your own bullshit, you can be anyone you want, your ideas of who you are self-restraints and limits you put on yourself.
  10. Thats the rub eh! Once I have gotten over the first trip then I will know what to expect... Maybe I am super sensitive maybe I am not... Ah its so annoying, just gotta take that plunge I guess. Haha, yes, I will cozy up, light some incense, put on some hippie pants and chill the fuck out to some world music haha.
  11. I really dont have the ability to have a trip sitter at the moment, thats why Im starting really low. Alright maybe I will go for 0.8 grams or something, thanks for your advice!!!
  12. Super interesting video! Psychedelics are a gamble, even if you have a good set and setting, you dont know what you might encounter.
  13. Seems atleast 90% of you guys have had good experiences with the vaccine, thats good to hear! Thanks for all the replies.
  14. Lmao. We kill and torture more animals everyday than any genocide in history has ever done. Care for nature? We have literal filled the oceans with plastic and destroyed entire ecosystems, what world are you living in...?
  15. Ouch, I mean youre stuck in a dilemma, if she catches Covid she will most definitely die, if she takes the vaccine there is a chance... But its hard to make that decision, otherwise your choice is to keep her quarantined for a very long time...
  16. Make her call a doctor and talk it through, theres probably some way to fix it.
  17. Why would she die unless she has some underlying condition?
  18. This is a Stage Green with a pinch of sociopathy. But hes right in alot of ways, we dont give a shit about animals and were extremely hypocritical and biased. That doesnt mean you have to be an asshole though.
  19. Yeah! The depression seems to lift after maybe 7 sessions, its worst the first couple of the times. What are you in therapy for, my friend?