LastThursday

You don't need a key, just tunnel out. It's hard work and you can't tell anyone and you have to cover the tunnel with a poster, but it can be done. But seriously, it all starts with self-awareness. The first step is to realise you're in a prison. Then you use the shovel of self-awareness to dig through the brick wall of the traps and tricks of the mind. Self-awareness allows you to step outside your normal every day mind, and observe it. Everyone has the potential for self-awareness, but something needs to activate it. Unfortunately, what that something is isn't in your control.

Why do I hate washing dishes? It's a point of contention with my landlady. My mini dishwasher is on its last legs, leaks a bit and constantly gets blocked. She can't seem to find a replacement in that size and therefore has done nothing about the problem. I can fix the blockage but it's a process to unbolt and extract the dishwasher every time. I can't fix the slight leak. When I was a teenager my parents began to ask to me and my sister to help with washing dishes. I always resented being pulled away from whatever I doing (normally coding) to do something so boring and mundane and utterly pointless. As soon as the pain was over, I would go back to whatever I had been doing before. In the way only teenagers can be, I never understood why my parents (basically my mum) couldn't just do it themselves, they did everything else anyway! My sister had a knack for getting away with not doing the dishes, and I resented her for it. During and after university I had a lot of practice with washing dishes. It was often a kind of Mexican stand off with flat mates as to who would fold first and do the dishes. At one point I decided to take decisive action and start hiding dishes and cutlery over time just to force a resolution. Eating out was often the only and best option. Even when I entered a proper relationship after university and became a fully fledged adult, my girlfriend and I would roster the dish-washing, alternating each day along with cooking food. Nobody actively choses to do dishes. Now I live by myself and I'm forced to wash dishes at least once a day. They tend to live on the side, draining for most of the day. Even when the dishwasher was functional, I would often just pluck dishes to use out of the dishwasher and only occasionally put everything away. It's my way of rebelling. When I have visitors to stay, I feel inclined to behave and pretend as though I keep an immaculate flat, with dishes living where they should be. It's an image I wish to maintain, a white lie to entertain, my mask. Part of me also, nominally, abhors clutter. Doing dishes is a metaphor for everything in my life I have to do, but would not do if I had a choice. However. Repetition and mundanity does have something to teach me. It's that the pain reduces over time. I know in the back of my mind that washing dishes is essential for my health and that I don't like the visual noise of disorder. It's also something that actually doesn't take too long. It's pain is amplified in my mind's eye. It shows me that many things I find painful in my life are overamplified by my mind. Also, instead of just playing lip-service to my so called minimalist outlook on life, that actual minimalism is simply a lot of repetition and mundanity: after all not having appliances at all is minimalist. I could go into all the Zen like meditations on washing dishes, but honestly I don't meditate doing dishes, everything but. My food cooks, my radio blares and I try and get it over and done with as quickly as I can. Fuck dishes.

Thread resuscitation.

Warning lots of analogies incoming: Thinking in terms of function doesn't give the full picture. The analogy is with music. The functions might be likened to the instruments in a band, a guitar, drums etc. But the song they play itself can be encoded into a continuous waveform. Seen from that viewpoint, changing the waveform even slightly, would change the sound of all the functions at once. That's what I meant by evolution being holistic. Each organism has X chance of survival (taken as an average). That means that all the organisms that don't make it and go extinct, take their particular waveform with them - to stretch the analogy. Over time the organisms that are left are those that have the greatest chance of survival and their waveforms become the most prevalent. So the waveforms will get shaped by the environment of the organism, certain parts of it being amplified and other parts diminishing. It's like evolving a key to fit a lock, the shape of the key changes to fit the lock. How do new functions arise? They don't as such. A "function" is just a product of the reductionist way of seeing things. Each and every organism is slightly different (thanks to random mutation) and unique. Therefore each and every organism has a different holistic function (singular), this is just the shape of the waveform or key if you like. Like a key it's the entire shape that matters, and some keys will fit better than others. As the waveform of an organism is shaped over time, it will appear as if new structures arise in the organism (new instruments). But it's a mirage, what you hear is actually the waveform changing, the static of mutation gets amplified into new sounds.

Until you wake up.

Not in general. Evolution works without having a goal, all it does is apply the procedure. The environment the organism finds itself in is what sets the likelihood of reproduction. Evolution is blind in that respect. However, organisms do modify their environments. So it's completely possible that an organism modifies its environment so that it has a greater chance of survival over other organisms. In that case evolution would favour (i.e. increase the chances of reproduction) of those organisms that modify their environment in that way. Evolution is holistic, so it can also include the environment. I mean, this is exactly what humans do, their modify their environment to increase their chances of survival. But, it would be wrong to say that it is a goal of evolution. Chimps don't have their own civilisations for example. In a sense evolution isn't a thing. The process whereby organisms reproduce to the next generation gets called evolution. Because fundamentally it uses a very simple and mechanical procedure to sort a deck of cards. It's not making active decisions in the moment like a real intelligence would. It's completely deterministic. Dumb=deterministic in this case.

Where do I sign up for the Epicurean bro life? I'm in. I'd say Western society or specifically the society I live in isn't geared up to this sort of life. Unless you have a strong extended family it isn't going to happen by itself. It seems that everyone is hived off into their small family units and mindsets of individualism, and along with wage slavery, conspire against the Epicurean way of being. I can even understand why some folks throw themselves into work life: they just want to be part of a collective and working towards common goals. I've always rejected the idea of throwing myself into work, because I never feel like I have a stake in what I'm doing, I'm just a replaceable cog in the machinery.

Taking your example of 52!, that's a big number. How is it even possible to sort a deck of cards in order, ace to king in each suit? Shouldn't it take the age of the universe? Of course not. You would use a procedure to sort the cards, something basic like if I see two cards out of order I swap them. Indeed it's possible to instruct a dumb computer on how to do this, it doesn't even take intelligence. What's happening is that with each step in the process, you're chopping away all the arrangements of cards that don't you don't care about. This reduces the probabilities with each step. And in the end you are certain to get to a sorted deck. Evolution uses a procedure but it's not a directed one. By directed I mean goal-oriented, evolution doesn't go to a destination. Evolution's procedure is simple: some organisms are more likely to re-produce than others. That's it. It relies on huge numbers to evolve organisms. You're talking potentially trillions of organisms over many millions or billions of years. That's a lot of chances to apply that simple procedure: those are the steps taking you to the top of Everest. Evolution doesn't care about complexity. The only organsims that stick around are the ones that reproduce (by applying the procedure). If organism A survives and organism B doesn't, it's because A was more suited to its environment. The differences in survival rate between A and B don't even have to be very different, over many generations organism A will outsurvive organism B. If organism A happens to be slightly more complex than organism B, then that complexity will carry on over into the next generation and stick around. In general, because surviving in an environment is super complex, the organisms that evolve also tend to be super complex. The complexity of organisms is just a reflection of the complexity of environments. The process of evolution (survival of the fittest), works on the whole organism not just on parts of it. It doesn't work on a flagellum in isolation from everything else, it works on the entire thing at once. That's why everything just works as part of a unified whole. It's a holistic process.

I'd start by asking the converse: does anyone have any evidence that Solipsism is true? In either case, you're not going to get the proof from someone else, especially if you believe in Solipsism.

Without time nothing gets done.

Ah, so you do find meaning in something. You're not an absolute nihilist yet. From a broad enough perspective, leaning on meaning to live your life is fraught. You can still chop wood and carry water even if it's meaningless.

Lot's of interesting and useful information about stress in this interview: The idea that stress can be catching is an eye-opener.

I feel kind of listless today. It's some combination of cabin fever (I work from home), not wanting to work (I haven't and the morning's nearly over), mildly sleep deprived (my sleep pattern has been drifting ever later), wanting to be anywhere but here and now, wanting to be someone else. It's making me feel combative and unable to put up with bullshit. It'll pass. I have a fantasy sometimes of being washed up on a desert island. The surroundings are beautiful, the sand soft, the weather clement. I learn to be self-sufficient, use my hands and body and wits to survive. There's plenty enough food. Sometimes the fantasy is to be alone, sometimes to share it with one other in some sort of adventurous beautiful union. I'd probably be the sort to go insane without realising it if I were by myself, I like solitude, but it doesn't like me. Part of the appeal is the shedding of all the weight of "stuff" in my life. So much stuff is needed to just stay alive, and to be some semblance of happy. I've always had a minimalist perspective on life, enthralled by the small but useful; the simple things. The problem with stuff is that it requires keeping track of, curating, thinking about, emotional investment and all that attachment. And so it is with people I find also. The introvert in me finds it all very tiresome. Yet I yearn for connection, and for intimacy, something sorely lacking in my life. The extravert in me is excited by people of all kinds, wanting to be part of a collective for a shared cause, sharing ideas and gratitude. I hear my being calling, but I choose to be deaf to it, for fear of all that it entails: the letting go of certainty, the potential of obligated commitment and the spectre of poverty in all its forms. I want to stop living inside my mind for just a month or a year or more, and just let reality take me over and to be fully connected with it. Another fantasy I have, is to live in a stone cottage on a dusty hillside, surrounded by orchards. Somewhere mediterranean. I want the smell of the herbs to fill the air, and to stroll out in the warm comforting mornings and suck in the beauty of my surroundings. Again, there's an air of solitude and quietude. And when needed I can call upon friends to gather and celebrate each other, and them me. Not just celebration however, working together, solving problems together, living together. I can sit and weep, thinking about where my life took wrong turns, and why my life is so disconnected from my fantasies or the vision of what I really want. I do, and I have. I'm listless because of it. I've tasted my collectivist fantasies, been part of a circle of intimate friends, sat on golden beaches all to myself, holidayed in stone cottages, been to orchards and olive groves. Those are all the places my fantasies came from. But I do know that this period of dessication and disconnection, has moulded me into someone more resilient, self-sufficient and wise. It was tough medicine to swallow, but it's made me nearly well enough to start another phase in my life. I'm listless because I should feel excited that I'm well, but all I feel is apprehension for abandoning the castle of comfort I've built up around me. I know within me, it's not time yet to leave. There's yet more medicine to take before I can do that. I thankful, I'm grateful.

Meaning is completely separate from the idea of dreaming. Labelling your life as a dream doesn't affect its meaning in any way. The whole point of the dream metaphor for life is to point to the idea that you could metaphorically "wake up". It's not to pretend that nothing matters or that your happiness is contingent on meaning - it doesn't have to be. Even if you did "wake up" you would still call it just a dream. Or as I prefer to call it: reality.

Occam's razor is very sharp, ouch. These two thoughts spring to mind: How often do you think of doing something, but your body doesn't do it? And yet the times when your body does do it, we "know" that we made it happen? How are the probabilities calculated so that we can prove confirmation bias? To do that you would need a large enough sample. Easy with cars, hard with random messages.

Many people are in your position. If you're an adult then you have to learn to support yourself eventually, that's part of being an adult. If you know your parents are unsupportive, then stop expecting it and give up on it. Of course you can. It's just paper. The university will most probably charge a fee for a replacement. You can try and contact their admin department on their website.

There seems to be two misconceptions about evolution that confuse people. One is tiny changes over time, the other is how much time is needed. The analogy is like climbing Mount Everest. It can seem incomprehensible how someone could get to the top, but all they do is put one foot in front of the other and take their time. What's lost to us is how those steps were taken, so a flagellum seems like a miracle. Sometimes evolution walks down the hill and organisms become simpler. Evolution doesn't have a destination. Intelligent Design makes it seem as if the destination has been reached and nothing more happens. But pandemics and flu viruses prove different. If there is a designer, then they sure are busy. But so what? As you say the real question is, what is all this and how did it get here or why? Evolution can't explain everything! Intelligent Design requires an intelligent designer, and then you have to explain how they were created and if they weren't, why are they there?.

My idea is different but the same: certain states of mind (consciousness) allow you to bend reality. In your case tripping may put you in that state. In my case it's a kind of "absentminded" state of being alert but not focused on anything. This is when the brain produces alpha waves. It's nearly like I can't force it because when I do, it breaks the state and it doesn't work.

It happens to me all the time. I'll find myself absentmindedly thinking about someone all day, and then bam! Before I realise, they contact me. It's so bad sometimes, that I force myself not to think too much about anyone in particular. Sometimes I like my peace.

Sure, PM me and let's discuss further.

You love doing nothing, and soon you'll love not doing nothing. At some point the scales will tip.

Da Vinci might be the archetype for polymathy, yes, but there are other ways to be a polymath. I just don't see that there has to be an a priori connection between IQ or talent and polymathy. We can all practise it if we want to, it's not an elitist activity. Like I said, people who are polymaths tend to be more intelligent precisely because they practise polymathy.

That's the real question. Reading faster won't get you there. What will get you there is contemplating death regularly, and using that to instill a focus and urgency about what you do want to spend your finite time reading and doing. Ask yourself, if I had one month to live, what would I be doing? If I had one week, then what? One day? And then go do those things, because those are the things you actually care about.

I wrote about it here, take from it what you will: TLDR: living a happy life is like good art, and you have to tap into your humanity. Happiness always starts with a choice.

Your message of understanding and accepting how others see the world is a great one to take on. My only quibble is that to know: you would have to step outside the dream. Until that happens, calling it all "a dream" has no practical or philosophical value (it isn't Truth) - other than to prime the mind into thinking it may be possible to step outside the dream. Calling reality a hallucination or delusion is disingenuous at best, and delusional itself at worst. This sort of talk may even encourage wreckless behaviour or a kind of mistrust of reality. This is everything, and that is absolute truth.