billiesimon

Hey, first of all: DON'T USE SALVIA if you are not a truly experienced psychonaut. DON'T! I have more than 20 classic trips with normal psychedelics, and I had the occasion to try salvia. NOTE: my extract is 5x. It means that it's the lightest extract. DON'T go around trying out high extracts or you're getting into trouble! @Leo Gura If you could read, I'd appreciate Salvia Divinorum 5x trip report: I've had 5 hits, all well distanced from each other, 3 minutes between each hit. The dosage was very light, around 4 - 8 mg for every hit, which is basically BELOW threshold dose for a 5x extract. So I was being really cautious and alert. INTENTION: I set the intention before using it, and asked Salvia to give me an interesting spiritual experience and high vibrations. Note that I also have some experience of ego deaths and nondual awareness with classic psychs. With the first hits I felt just the need to laugh and to be happier. No visual effects and zero salvia-effects. My neurosis and physical tensions went almost all away. Very nice peaceful and positive vibes. AGAIN don't expect it for yourself, I'm very sensitive to emotions and I don't get the classic effects everybody gets from psychedelics. In the last hits I finally felt something interesting. Again no visuals, no weird perceptions, no time distortion. But I felt a subtle but important sense of KNOWING that reality is completely flexible, like made of clay. Like God could craft reality really easily at any moment like a huge mass of clay. I was quite aware of this. But it was subtle, it was not a nondual consciousness. I felt human but inside a very malleable bubble of perception. My body also felt incredibly malleable like clay. There was also a deep sense of mystery and awe, like reality was made of a RARE AND PRECIOUS CRYSTAL. I remember staring at the floor and then at my hands marveling at how INCREDIBILY FRAGILE AND BEAUTIFUL THEY WERE. Yeah, fragile and beautiful, like a precious pure white crystal. Amazing emotion. Really amazing. It's the emotion of DEEP RESPECT AND AWE for the Forms. Nice. I'm gonna try it again in the future.

Thank you ?

The perspective is that those people could have easily been me. I know what they feel. I have never hurt anyone, I've always been nice and progressive. But I have been subjected to a lot of trauma, bullying, divorce, abusive friends, abusive bosses etc. A lot. Truly a lot. I'm finishing therapy, and yoga and self inquiry have helped me so much to remain the same nice person i've always been. But i can assure you: There's a part inside of me that is so angry and furious for what they have done to me that it is thirsty to kill. Literally thirsty to kill. And it's NOT my fault. I have cried rivers to heal and quieten this trauma. Am I a nice and conscious person? All people tell me so. Yet the line that could have led me to become an evil beast was so close... Do you get it? You are nice only because you got lucky. You don't know what it feels like to work you ass off every day to remain conscious and caring after what i've endured. Suffering is the greatest teacher. Killers already have suffered much. Let this planet become a warmer and kinder place. Please. Yet, I love you too and want you to feel love for the unconscious ones.

Seems more like the slums of spirituality. Yeah, too much philosophy withouth feeling empathy is useless. And I'm a HUGE student of philosophy.

I've read too much nonsense and regressive opinions here. People who kill or get into crime are nice people as everyone else. It's not their decision. They are completely unconscious and subjected to trauma. Your "civil and educated" human life is not more worthy that theirs. They need to be rehabilitated and healed from their trauma. Or are we going to regress into the middle ages? What next? Killing religious heresy? Always remember that that killer could have been YOU. In fact it is you, it's just that your ego got lucky this time. They deserve the same help that you deserve.

The best advice. I suppose from a woman, judging by the username You need to ditch her and find a more progressive girl. You need to find someone who is not so closeminded and low in human development.

What is "you"? God or separate self? I guess the latter, since God can't die. I also guess that the reason why you're interacting with interviewers and the forum etc is just to play the game. I mean... You might be well aware that "others" (deliberately in quotes) cannot awaken.

Have you had experiences of the "original" singularity of God? I mean, without any forms and dualities. Just the pre-creation God.

Too much disfunction. I'll have a nice meal instead. Peace

Toxic masculinity is attractive to toxic femininity Violence (and attraction to it) is a huge red flag in men and women. Huge subconscious anger issues.

So advaita vedanta might be right on samsara. I tend to see reincarnation as BS because God seems to know it will recognize itself once the ego dies. That's because during awakenings/glimpses I feel like I have already planned everything. So... My guess is that God doesn't reincarnate in a loop. It might reconnect with its true nature at the end of every ego's lifespan. Why should the ego awaken for God to come back to singularity? God recognizes itself clearly once the false self is dead, or transcended by spiritual work. So... I'm still very skeptical about samsara... Seems like a fairytale. Pretty absurd to create other dreams and other dimensions without coming back home to design them isn't it?

Is this what ancient hindu sages meant with samsara and reincarnation when a person is not enlightened?

What? What do you mean? Why should not a dead ego merge back in the singularity? Once the false self disappears, your true identity should be clear to itself.

It's been several days since I've had this massive shadow work crisis. I'm cleaning up major childhood trauma, and these last days I've been feeling sad and deeply introspective. This is not an awakening episode, it's more of a contemplative inquiry into the nature of the ego self and The Self. Others and the "outer world" are just a mirror of me. This has been noticed over the course of several months, and probably amplified by several psychedelic basic awakenings. As I've seen my ego become more and more positive, pure, peaceful and clean, I've noticed how others and reality has become more like me. But it has always been like me. I have noticed how the violence in the world is reflected inside me (as an ego). I have noticed how my problems are reflected outside in others as well. I have noticed how the world cannot exist without my conscious existence alongside it. This one is especially radical and eerie. There are other aspects of this mirroring of ego self and others, and this mirroring becomes a fusion of ego and others in the unified form of The Self, or Atman. For some weird reason, "I" am playing an eerie play with myself, disguised as billion forms. All connected. All mirrored in some sort of vibrational resonance. I am not conscious right now of being the others. No. But I am conscious right now of how much they represent what I have inside me. The violence, the fear, the insecurities, the desires... I can see how they mirror my egoic condition. I can see how being disturbed by their own hatred and fear is REALLY JUST being disturbed by myself. Yup. It's that creepy. Still, I'm not soberly conscious of oneness right now. Just a simple inquiry Be at ease with yourself, love yourself. I need to love myself. Deeper.

In other words, it's like God created a scripted movie and now it is watching it by also believing to be struggling inside the story And the egoic resistances are meant to keep god from spoiling the fiction.

Yes, but that resistance is just conceptual, because egoic actions are "God-sent". What I mean is that God decided what the ego should look like and what it wants to do. So, in a sense, God wants the ego to act based on unconscious desires, because that's the only way to get an experience of struggle and progression. I totally agree on the ego resisting God realization (because of the death it implies) but the ego is still 100% God's pure will. That means that the Ego's resistance is just conceptual, because emotions, thoughs and fear are just phenomena happening to God, who is observing them, and at the same time believing that it is a limited human. At least that's how I've felt it myself.

What? How are you going to develop the existential concepts and frameworks? Let's take for example advaita vedanta's philosophy. It's full of nuanced and metaphysical vocabulary that it's going to boost your contemplation of reality. Maybe you were just joking

Hey, @Leo Gura, I was contemplating my perceptions tonight, alone in bed, and noticing how other people in photos are just my own perceptions, not real entities. But still I can't feel other people as me, because of survival agenda I have. I can on psychedelics. But i notice during my contemplations that people in photos are just my perception and not real objects. This is my question: Does the game of separateness collapse ON THEIR end too? I mean... You become conscious of being them. And that's ok. At that point do they drop the mask? Do they mirror your understanding? Or do they keep acting unconscious? It makes sense to me that they should drop the mask once you become totally omniscient. Why should they keep the facade up? Sorry for the weird question

Thanks for the replies, to everyone. Well, I get what you are saying. The Self is the one who awakens inside the dream, and not the imaginary people (my ego is included of course). But what I mean is that an awakened "person" is capable of showing that they are realized. I was just wondering if other people, EVEN THOUGH they are conceptual and not actual, can show this sign of realization once you realize the True Self. I guess it's still a game of duality that my mind is playing. Nonetheless, I found it possible.

I get it, I'm not talking about the core Self. I'm talking about the illusion. Does the illusion become self conscious? Do the people show recognition of their true self? You look at the mirror. Then you recognize that you are the person in the mirror. "oh it's me". The image in the mirror should also reflect that recognition. That's what I mean.

It could be useful to hear a more conscious woman's opinion.

If you want tribal or violent/impulsive girls, yes. Generally from stage orange and above girls tend to like personality, humor, authenticity and social freedom. Generally self expression is very attractive to a sufficiently evolved girl

What you believe you attract watch your beliefs as they get mirrored in reality. Attraction is far below Mind in the hyerarchy.

This is a massive strawman. People in general tend to respond to authenticity, freedom, confidence and good vibes. The last one is not a buzz word, it's a true energetic component. You could have seen millions of girls loving Justin Bieber when he was still girly and soft. Where's the ruthless and brutal masculinity now? Same goes for 60's rock idols and other soft men like Russel Brand. Girls in low SD stages, like stage red, are attracted to brute force and domination. More evolved girls tend to gravitate more towards authenticity, freedom, masculine wisdom and self expression. Stop caring about masculine power. That's makinh you more weak. Are you a feminine guy? WHO THE FUCK CARES! Embrace it. I am a 45% feminine guy, but I have developed confidence and more authenticity and girls have appreciated it. Of course not stage red girls. Be unapologetic about being feminine or soft or lighthearted. The less you care about being attractive to them, the more you become attractive. Be your own hero. Masculine power is liking your own authenticity without caring about others. Girls fall in love with lots and lots of gay men. Guess why? Maybe because they DON'T CARE about being attractive to women? They embrace their femininity and women can fuck off. (not in the red pill meaning )

Is it just my own self deception, or is God in search of understanding itself? When I have breakthrough trips I tend to feel like the Absolute/Me is just eternally looking for a deeper understanding of itself. Like it needs duality to study itself, cause in oneness it can't do it. Duality seems to act like a mirror. It can make you look into yourself like you are a different object. Also reality tends to mirror itself a lot, like stated in LOA teachings. Thus to me it seems like God is just using duality as a mirror to inquire its own mysterious existence. The biggest question is always: WHY?!? Why am I here and not not-here? I might be deluded....