billiesimon

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Everything posted by billiesimon

  1. Yes, that's what I am saying. Maybe it's just another deeper level of consciousness, at the end of which there's just One hugely absolute entity. Maybe you just went deeper and you still have to find the maximum wholeness of God. Maybe that absolute wholeness is never reached by a limited form. Who knows? My recent experiences with sober and psychedelic inquiry show that there is just this present reality, not other ones. But I'm not that advanced.
  2. But then they are not separate Gods... they are the same old One God. Isn't it?
  3. Because I also do the sober practices. Self inquiry, meditation, and A LOT of self-therapy/introspection, and I can recognize the amount of progress these one give me, compared to the psychedelic progress. Psychedelics enhance consciousness, intelligence and sensitivity. All these qualities are fundamental to evolve. Of course sober practices are key, you need to keep using them. I'm just saying that normal practices are the fundamentals, but psychedelics are the boosters.
  4. But they do, if you use them to do self inquiry and to deeply connect to what the Self is. I have gained important new levels of baseline consciousness with some specific trips, because I spent a lot of time contemplating and inquiring during the trip.
  5. Could you release an updated episode on what is the ego? Your only episode about it is very old. It would be really interesting to hear an explanation of the separate self from your new state of consciousness. The mechanics of how God creates an identity and preserves it.
  6. The best course of action is to find a nice and compassionate therapist. Your problem will be healed. You are not damaged, it's not your fault. But healing needs to happen, and psychotherapy is the best way to heal these issues
  7. @Leo Gura I truly need to ask you this. I have watched most of your metaphysical videos, but I didn't see this specific answer. I have been a seeker of the Self for more than three years and I definitely know now that God exists and it is living through me, even though I'm quite asleep now. But I can't stop noticing that my bubble of reality is mysterious and mind-made, almost every day. I need to know. Why does God exist? It exists, I know. But WHY?!? I don't understand and this question is making me insane. Why is all of this happening and why does the Self exist? My Self. Why my Self? Why not another one's divine Self? Why am I the one who is being lived by God? I don't understand, this is madness! I thought I was just a random human. I am not a random human. I know you are not a separate person, but this person right here is not able to get an answer. Can you please explain why God? Why a God? Why this God? Why not just mindless nothing? I thought it was normal for everything to exist. Now not anymore. It makes no sense to exist. I think that the road to awakening is a road to madness maybe. Sorry for the deliriant text. My question is actually quite lucid, after weeks of deep observation.
  8. I know by direct experience that God exists I was an atheist before diving deep into spirituality.
  9. Yes, this is the philosophical and rational answer. I get it. I was more interested in the deepest insight.
  10. Thanks, I might have missed the video I guess I'll need deep awakening to feel the answer in direct experience.
  11. Yes, it's a valid substance for awakening. I've had a very powerful oneness awakening with 250 ug of LSD. Recently I'm just using whole leaves of Salvia (not the extracts). The awakenings I got from it are really pleasant and warm, playful. Reality also melts/warps a little bit but I'm fully conscious of how my eternal Mind is doing it. Really amazing awakenings with that, but you have to master this plant to reach it. It's a chaotic psychedelic. I don't have experiences with DMT, but the effects I get nowadays from plain leaves are very similar to classic DMT reports. Very very close.
  12. I want to be honest with you, I was really really curious about trying out Salvia. Since I have around 30 psychedelic trips on my back, a lot of hours of self inquiry, meditation, and pranayama/shamanic breathing (including some interesting altered states). Now, the real treasure here is the ACTUAL Salvia Divinorum, the dried original leaves. Plain leaves have a different vibe and a purer energy, a lot more spiritual and introspective than the extracts. EXTRACTS: I've tried 20x and 5x. I can tell you that 20x is pure psychedelic chaos, it's really hard to get insights or healing from it. Almost impossible, it's too destructive. 5x is somehow a manageable psychedelic, but it's still to chaotic for implementing serious healing and nondual work. But it's possibile to do it with this one, if you really really do your best. I don't like extracts. Because it's NOT REAL SALVIA. Salvia Divinorum is a sacred mazatec plant, The plant is a sacred psychedelic for a reason: it gives you amazing psychological and spiritual insights. I can confirm to you that it is true. But the mazatecs are talking about the raw leaves, not the industrial adulterated extracts. PLAIN LEAVES: Generally for me 1 1/2 or 2 full leaves, smoked in a bong, are more than enough to get INCREDIBLE INSIGHTS and lose a huge chunk of my ego. The amazing benefit of the actual leaves is that you keep your consciousness in NORMAL REALITY. There is no blast off. Of course you can blast off, but you need to smoke a lot of leaf material, and IT IS NOT NECESSARY, because the profound nondual states come at lower dosages than a blast off. On just 2 plain leaves, smoked separated by 10 minutes, I have deeply felt how I am all of my bubble of consciousness, I have seen how my mind is crafting all my personal story, how I have no definite identity, and how I am keeping up this human life just because I keep on believing in it. I'm not talking about neo-advaita insights. I mean that I am just all of the bubble of existence, it's just that I have no specific form. I am the only Conscious Being, I am believing in time, so there's time, I am believing in space, so there's space. I have yet to realize the "Godhead", but I already clearly felt how I am the only one Self in this universe, and I am believing in a personal story, and separating myself from my other forms (all forms except this body/mind). I have had a huge mindfuck moment where I have realized how I am SELECTING to focus on this body and mind instead of focusing on ALL FORMS. My life is happening only because I am unconsciously FOCUSED on this "body" and thus trying to make it live, work, survive etc.... It's an incredible mindfuck, which has purified my ego from a lot of negativity and neurosis. But it lasts around 10 mins max. I am still exploring these leaves, but I can assure you that if you try them (forget the extracts please) you will gain so much knowledge about the Self and Mind. All of this human story is just Mind. YOUR MIND is believing in the story. Believing in it is foundational to keep it going. I will keep exploring Salvia leaves, there is no crazy blast off in them no psychosis, no shocks. They are safe, and very powerful too. I have temporarily dropped other psychs because this one is so powerful. Thanks for reading. Maybe @Leo Gura will reconsider Salvia, for the natural leaves
  13. Hahahah what does that mean? Try plain leaf, or maybe 5x if you really want to use a concentrated salvia. Go slow.
  14. I agree but I'm pretty damn sure that god realization makes you so sharply aware of your human shadows and neurosis that you will become quite efficient in healing them (with classic introspection). I can attest that my spiritual seeking has given me huge awareness of my psychological damage and how to heal it. My therapist is shocked at how fast I am healing and how fast I can become aware of inner damage. This would not have been possible without consciousness work. Even though awakening is NOT healing the ego per se.
  15. Extracts I've never become an object/shape. But I've had the entire reality being replaced by a 2D artistic fractal. It was terrifying but beautiful too With 20x extract. I've also seen reality become a huge colorful spiral made of marble; astonishing beautiful but made my body sweat like hell. Use plain leaf and these thing will not happen
  16. Even though I'm way way behind your awakenings, I know what you mean by "terrifying". Glimpses of awakening can be utterly shocking, especially glimpses of infinity (I've had a full week of suicidal depression after a glimpse). But I notice that I'm also deeply attracted to it, I can't stop seeking the Self. It's somehow addictive and deadly at the same time. Isn't it normal that we crave infinity/awakening while at the same time fear it? I find it completely normal since we are finite egos and we always crave for perfection/eternity. Isn't it so?
  17. It can give you a lot of insights. Both psychological (shadows and traumas) and spiritual (the Self, Mind, identification etc). But you have to use it at a decently low dose. The best way is plain leaf. In my case it's also very spontaneous and character-freeing; it helps me lose my neurosis and loosen up the body.
  18. This is human mind. Maybe OP was asking about metaphysical Mind. But yes, human mind does not actually exist. Divine Mind exists.
  19. Mind is a "feature" of God, we could say. It's the capacity of creating, imagining and shaping. Mind is creative power.
  20. Yes, I have tried the chewing first, but it's not that powerful. Also it tastes like bad medicine, really bad I have found that smoking them is very powerful. In my case... no, the active ingredient alone is not the same, it's too much psychedelic CHAOS. Extracts are basically the metaphysical Mind following whatever your human mind was thinking as a pattern/idea/fear/image etc and enhancing it to a delirious degree.... It's completely insane and completely useless for awakening I have seen my room liquify and melt, or my entire reality being replaced by an infinite green fractal of peacock feathers. Definitely beautiful, accompanied by ego death, but it's still useless for awakening. Plain leaves have something inside them that makes them compatible with your NORMAL REALITY, and at the same time profound deconstruction of Mind-created stories (earth, human life, separation from forms etc). I have tried lowering the extract dosage but it's not working. I am pretty sure that normal leaves do the trick Yes, I have LSD, 2C-B and some 4-sub tryptamines (these are the most powerful). But Salvia is really clean in terms of body load (zero) and tolerance (zero tolerance too, like DMT). It's also the most powerful natural psychedelic together with DMT Salvinorin can completely and utterly destroy all of reality with 1 mg of pure chemical. It's not a starter psychedelic at all. In this phase of my path I really really like her that's the main reason I'm using her. It's really powerful yet slightly psychotic. The awakenings are somehow surreal, and sometimes "funny" in a jokerish manner. There's a huge RECONTEXTUALIZATION of normal reality, like it's a complete lucid mad dream.
  21. I'll admit that this is my issue. I'm quite flowery with people but I'm also quite careful with whom I hang out or tolerate. But I believe that it is possible to become more stable in loving people.
  22. Or at least my human identity is really creeped out by this Self-referencing activity on the forum. Maybe other egos are not.
  23. I'm using a detailed terminology to help into the inquiry. Perceptions are on the human level. I was explaining how your perceptions are God, as well as the human observer. God has no perceptions. God expresses its formlessness into form. Like gold crafted into multiple forms. It's still gold (vedanta metaphor). So, God (oneness) is both subject (duality) and object (duality). Subject and object are a byproduct of God's unconsciousness in the dream. We are talking exactly because God is not really aware of the oneness now. Edit: I would add that these conversations are creepy AF, since it's just The Self trying to do self inquiry unto itself. Notice it. It's really eerie and crazy.
  24. Leo explained it well here. He means that your entire experience is god. God is your true identity. But the ego mind creates a partition inside experience. "I am this body and personality" This is the unconscious AUTOMATIC identification. God is all of the present experience. God is also the awareness. And the things you can be aware of. God is SUBJECT AND OBJECT. The ego is God too. Your truest consciousness is not the human consciousness, it is God's consciousness, aka all of perceptions. AND the perceptor too.
  25. Rupert seems definitely very conscious, but he does not seem to be in some kind of god realization state. But I might be ignorant about it and have biases, I'm still working on my awakening. Eckhart Tolle seems more selfless judging from his reactions towards people and circumstances. But again, might be my projections.