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Everything posted by billiesimon

  1. Thanks, I heard a lot of positive reviews about it. I'm gonna read it soon! Does it talk about these dynamics?
  2. I've started to practice self help and pickup from this year, and I feel a lot of weight on my "soul", so to speak, about my old lifestyle. My ex gf was too idle in her life, and now I feel like it's been a nice thing that she left me. Now, I'm starting to feel "out of place" with my social circle, which is made of people just like the me of the past years: lazy, whiny, passive with girls and victim mentality regarding dating, deeply materialist and sometimes very superficial friends. I was like this for a long time, but now I start to feel very out of place with them, since I can't be understood and can't open up with them, they lead a very shallow and idle/victim kind of friendship. In a lot of pickup philosophy it is highly advised to change your friends if you have passive ones who don't resonate with you anymore. The last time I hung out with them I felt completely inauthentic, faking a lot of beahaviours just not to seem out of place, and in the end I just remained quiet and stuck in my head all night. I feel like they enjoy talking about BS and criticizing people, and they don't connect with the person they have beside them. I feel like I can't really open up anymore. By the way, I have some single friends (2 or 3) that I'm deep friends with but they are not in a circle, they are just 3 friends I see sometimes, which are actually very well connected with me. What do you guys think I should do? Should I quietly ditch the social circle and approach people to find more compatible friends?
  3. Thanks man, I need to focus on going out and socializing. As @pluto said, my heart tells me that this is not my place anymore. It's my ego that wants me to stay in the same place for a sense of security. I need to go out and find the people I resonate with. It's not easy because I've grown very socially lazy with my ex gf, but I have to endure it.
  4. Hi guys, I'm still somehow recovering from my breakup but I'm almost ready to start over again and socialize with new people! I have this question, bugging my mind for several days. Can you be vulnerable with women? can you express your fears and doubts about life? Girl go CONSTANTLY to their bfs to find emotional stability and empathy, and generally guys tend to give them this empathy and their interest never goes down because of this. But are we sure it's the same with girls? I tend to see that girls don't really want their bfs to be emotional and open about their vulnerability. They say it all the time "i want an emotional guy" but... girls really dislike a guy who's emotional. that's also where the stereotype of the asshole comes from. An asshole is able to be emotionally cold to his woman and she loves him for that, because he NEVER shows weakness to her, never seeks her out for comfort or for empathy. She never has the BURDEN of helping him out with his emotions and doubts about life. I believe this is the harsh truth about women that PC culture constantly hides from us. Men are usually very happy about helping their women. But is the opposite true? Share your thoughts. EDIT: I'm NOT saying that girls like assholes because of the indifference towards her. I'm just saying that she likes the ABSENCE of caring for him.
  5. Ok, but if you're JUST altruist and let everyone rob you, trick you, and beat you, will end up miserable. I'm not suggesting to be an asshole. What is exactly the attitude that you're leading in these recent years? I'm interested.
  6. Most of the people are very very low consciousness and tend to manipulate and shame the others. This is not the best world to live in, for now. I hope you will find inner peace and valuable people:)
  7. I'm here to work on myself of course. Can you explain in detail what's happening inside me?
  8. I'm not angry at you, I appreciate the replies. Yes, I've experienced unfairness in my life, poorly justified by female victim mentality. That's why I tend to overreact, but my intentions are good, I just want peaceful relationships between the sexes, without shaming eachother.
  9. That's great advice, I have to work on my self esteem and self trust. But why should I be loyal to her if she is not loyal to me? isn't this an easy way to be walked over? Isn't self respect meant to be respecting your word and purpose and at the same time not being abused by others?
  10. I don't use tinder, never used it. Look at the statistics and all the scientific data about dating and mating in human societies. Women mate with the top men, which is why in all human history a lot of men died without children. A woman who goes on tinder finds IMMEDIATELY someone to fuck. Men don't. I know some women fear that their men could go to tinder and have sex, but the reality is that it's unlikely to succeed. Women on the other hand succeed because of the mating strategy of finding the best "players". I don't like slut shaming, I NEVER said I was pro shaming. In fact I hate every form of shaming. You're justifying male shaming only because some societies still have slut shaming? It doesn't make sense! Shaming is always wrong. I don't understand this white knight mentality. Why is equality always about the woman? Why is it ok for her to fuck me over and not for me to do the same?
  11. 8 years from now we're going to pay welfare to every single woman as wage slaves lol. Can't see a bright future. Equality is so fake right now, and just a buzzword. The irony is that I actually like REAL equality, but not this authoritarian pc culture. What do you mean with big change? what research? Can you give me some info?
  12. By the way, she's NOT my property, she can cancel the relationship AT ANY TIME. She can see whoever the fuck she wants and even not seeing me for months. But if a girls asks for a monogamous couple... shouldn't she at the very fucking least respect her word? Is this sexism too?!?
  13. Why do you guys all assume that I want some kind of authoritarian couple?! In fact I want the opposite. I hate restrictions. And I hate negative control and negative boundaries. I'm saying a completely different thing. Maybe it's my fault for explaining badly. I'll try again. Let's follow this scenario. You meet a girl, and she likes you, and you like her. You have sex, without a relationship (which is OK) and after a few weeks of dating, SHE asks you to start a monogamous relationship (I always wait for them to ask, because game taught me that, and it works). After this, you have a monogamous relationship that SHE asked for. I'm not a controlling guy, AT ALL, and i always let them go out with female and male friednds, I even encourage that. Now, in this PEACEFUL and LOVING scenario, where you love eachother, there's still the problem of tinder and dating sites, lurking there in the dark for her. I NEVER, NEVER suggested to control her and to stalk her to keep her down. Never. I'm just ASKING. Is it safe to have a couple nowadays with all this tinder culture? Will she stay loyal? Or are you all suggesting that she should fuck everybody behind your back WHILE wanting a stable monogamous couple with you? And while you actually remain loyal like a fucking beaten dog? Is this fair for you guys? To be a cuckold while you act like an actual respectful man? I'm just asking, because the double standard is real. Also I don't understand why women empowerment is fucking you over, while if you fuck her over you're a sexist pig. Consistency anyone?
  14. Yeah, one of the biggest problems is that people today don't have standards and don't want to grow and learn how to have healthy communication with the next person. But how can a man solve the problem of tinder? basically every single woman could download it and fuck you over.
  15. So you're basically saying that having standards is "oppressive" to women. If she wants to fuck random dudes she should NOT get into a relationship. Duh. In your terms a "nice" relationship is when she fucks everybody and you jerk off to porn, as a couple.
  16. This girl is insane. Non-psychedelic drugs, raves, sick jealousy, manipulation. What the fuck dude?!? The problem is YOU. You have ZERO self respect. What the heck do you expect from a degenerate junkie with narcissism? She's going to destroy your life and then find another guy to abuse. Block her now. Now. And run. I'm serious.
  17. Uh, I guess it's really hard to keep a real relationship with these guys I've heard this explanation about authentic sexual interest in the pua community, since I'm starting to approach and study this area of life. I understand what you're saying, it's a matter of being sincere with your core and being direct with the girl. But what about the fact that girls WANT you to be an emotional tampon for them? They continuously ask their bf to help them everywhere and to solve every single BS problem they have with their friends etc. Isn't this unfair? Since they don't want to be the emotional tampon for you. And to be honest... I still don't undestand if I can be sincere with her about my fears and emotions in life. Is it ok to ask for cuddling and emotional talk to feel that your partner is beside you? I'm NOT talking about asking her to fix you! I'm just talking about asking her to be beside you in your struggles, not to fix them for you. Is it ok or is it a turn off? Do they dislike giving a hug to their man to give him warmth? In my very FEW experiences with girls, it seems to me that they are very self centered and solipsistic, and they only think about themselves. They want to be reassured everytime, but when you need it you are a piece of s*** for this. Sorry for my frustration, but I just want to improve.
  18. Nice response, man. Yeah, I'm working on myself since my breakup, and I'm still trying out a lot of things. But I will find my inner peace, sooner or later. But what about the "asshole" dynamic? Why do you say that women like authentic emotional communication if they "fall in love" with assholes that don't even share a single feeling with her? Doesn't that prove that women are emotionally shallow?
  19. Thanks for the book recommendation, I was thinking about ordering it! Mh, yes, I get it that she needs to see you as an emotional man and a grounded man. But what I don't get is: if you show emotions and ask for sharing opinions and experiences she sees you as a p*ssy and dumps you for the drug dealer who doesn't give a fuck about even talking with her. That's what I don't understand. Why are women attracted to shallow and non-existant emotional connections? Are they disgusted by an openhearted honest man? (provided that he's grounded in his purpose)
  20. I'm sorry for the clumsy questions, but I'm still new to spiral dynamics and to this area of psychology. In this orange phase we can see that approaching and learning how to be social is still good and a attainable for men. But... passing through green and yellow (and possible new phases) will it still be possible and acceptable for men to approach girls and explore the social world? Or will it be forbidden for men to try to evolve themselves socially and sexually? I'm asking it because in the blue phase it's clear that approaching is bad taste, because of religion, sexual repression, etc, in orange it's a nice thing to do, since it's in tune with the hustling mentality, but will it be ok for green and yellow? Green seems to be very anti-male and anti-free speech, so I'm just guessing that a full implemented green stage would have men forbidden from the dating scene. Yellow I believe instead will be a very rational and funcional, equilibrated, stage, with lots of freedom. I actually like yellow a lot. What do you think?
  21. This reply is very clear, thanks man! The previous one was too tricky for me lol. Yes, i still deeply identify with orange stage, mainly because I grew up in a very traditional, religious and moral family, so I grew out of stage blue as I finished high school. Now It's very hard for me to embrace a green phase since it mean going back to collectivism, which I despised a lot when I dropped religion and morals, in favor of success and growth. I get it that green stage brings new ideas and progress to orange, but I feel it like some kind of regression to blue stage. I actually want to skip it to yellow stage and see the world as the complex system that it is. What do you suggest to do to grow up to new stages? Meditation?
  22. Deep answer. Yeah, I want to evolve, and probably my tastes will change a lot.
  23. I appreciate the reply, and I get the argument about the self agenda. BUT LEO (quoting your videos xD), I'm not living my male interests in a crude and aggressive way. I respect people, and when I meet women I care about finding out about their personality. I'm not even interested in plain sex. I started pickup because I wanted to become social and find the right girls for relationships. I'm not into the aggressive male mentality. I like sharing quality time with a girl, and possibly building a deep relationship. I'm just saying that the green stage seems somehow anti-freedom. But wanting myself to be free doesn't mean that I want others to be enslaved. Yes, I feel needy sometimes, but I don't feel the need to bring violence to women. At all. I'm a pacifist and I just want to love the right partner. That's all. I want women to be free, but also responsible for themselves. And I want everybody to be peaceful with the next person. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to become social and able to explore the social world. It's not a crude aggressive male mentality. People are ALREADY too antisocial today. Am I wrong?
  24. Leo's video "Motivational speech for building a passionate life" is very inspiring, and focuses a lot on being in contact with your survival instinct and your drive to succeed. Which is GREAT, because we're very tamed nowadays. But I still don't get a paradox inside this concept. If reality is just an egoic dream, and everyone is part of everything, if the ego is an illusion, and the need to fight is an illusion.. what's the point of getting in touch with your instincts and your animal core? Isn't success pointless from an enlightened perspective? And I'm not saying this as an enlightened guy. I'm just a noob, and that's why I still don't get this paradox. Isnt' the ego just a result of evolutionary pressure to survive? Seeing the others as competition is what creates the division of the ego. So what's the purpose of getting in touch with your animal core to succeed? Why succeeding? And don't get me wrong, I WANT to succeed, but I don't undestand the paradox of wanting to be aware of the wholeness of the universe while wanting to win. If Leo himself could explain it would be great!
  25. I appreciate the effort, but you're wasting your time. Historically marxists only understood the language of gunfire. Either from them or directed at their faces. It's sad. I'm a pacifist, but I'm just stating a fact.