billiesimon

I guess trying to help you was sexist.

After spamming responses like there's no tomorrow I want to leave a personal "feeling" about the topic. Creating a peaceful and harmonious society is one of the most important end goals of liberalism. And of humankind. But I personally get triggered a lot when I hear violent and hate-speechy opinions of feminists, especially when they reject egalitarianism. Because it's like a pope who chants about peace and charity and then screams when you criticize his decision to start a crusade. Talking about feelings... It makes me feel like they are not allies but enemies. Because you feel betrayed for being a liberal bleeding heart. Because you're born in the "wrong race". It feels like you are their best companion and then stabbed.

What do you mean with The Beautiful Place? I may have lost some pieces of the insight. Why are women obsessed with being superior to men? Can't we just live in peace without judging eachother? Aren't we all of equal worth in this world?

You FEEL. That's not observable reality. I personally feel paranoid about a lot of things but I recognize them as paranoia. You are greatly increasing the problem by using these fake gendered names, because in fact you can use a female one and stop blaming others about it. In the west we can all take you seriously, you just have to take responsibility for your actions and words, and stop blaming others for "my fake male name". I'm sorry for the rant, I'm on your side but you have to realize that you yourself are enforcing this female stigma.

There's a lot of feminists who attack men as a whole gender, not the ones who are sexist. This reveals a lot about the deep issues of this ideology. It's destined to die when yellow and torquoise stages will land on earth. You can't have a sexist and separatist movement in a truly evolved earth. We need a complete and whole form of equality, for men, women, kids, and elders to reach peace and social freedom. Imagine if somebody tomorrow would create a movement called "youthism" (lol) and starts to dictate that all humans need to conform to the problems and lifestyles of the youth. And also define that "equality". That's an open contradiction. If someone truly wants equality and freedom for all we have to rewrite social norms, that's for sure. But not in the name of machism, nor feminism. Nor BLM. Nor white supremacy. Fuck all those identity politics. Start letting women do whatever the fuck they want. I completely support that, But at the same time I want nobody to come to me and say that I can't sit on a bench or that person is going to get my "fuck off" greeting. Same I suggest to women: if someone tells you how to or not to have sex, tell them to shut the fuck up. And stop moralizing other people. This BS makes it hard for me to completely embrace green stage because I LIKE the core idea of green: especially world peace and anti-military are my core green beliefs. But when I see idiotic people on the streets protesting about men drinking coffee and reading sports newspaper instead of developing themselves or building a business or travelling the world... oh boy (oh neutral gendered kid)... I want to send them to work in mines LOL.

@Leo Gura by the way, I was doing some research on the matter of male-female dynamics in the forum and on your channel, and I run into an old comment of yours. You were talking about the fact that today the green-stage gender neutral culture is blurring all male-female features and confusing the hell out of people about the two polarities. Which by the way I totally absolutely agree on. Do you still agree with this view of yours?

In your classic actualized videos you recommend some specific dating advices: being masculine, positive, leadership, taking risks, approaching at social events, flirting etc, and also all the advice you shared with Tripp in the collab video. Do you still endorse that? I remember that AFTER those videos you made the PUA rant video. (sorry for the noob question)

This video is insane (in a good way). This man is so present in reality and so clean of thoughts that he attracted her with just being. This is in my opinion where pickup artistry should be headed towards. Being and thus loving.

@Leo Gura Thanks for the response! I'm not doing it for "PUA success". I'm interested in meeting new people to find a new social circle, since I left most of my old friends, who are not into self help and they don't get along that well nowadays. Also I'm interested in finding a nice girl who's into self help and who's at least decently conscious of her path in life. At least better than the average lazy person. In poor words I'm looking for a better social circle and for a nice girlfriend who has natural chemistry with me.

This is mainly a question I have for Leo and for the advanced people here, because I'm still puzzled and can't undestand this. I'm not demonizing green, I'm somehow half orange half green, and a huge pacifist myself. For what I can see, orange stage is all about freedom of sex and love, living fast, living young etc. This enabled the rock and roll lifestyle for both men and women. What I start to see these years is that green stage is trying to limit the dating freedom by accusing everyone of BS harassment, in such a way that boys are becoming stifled and scared of dating. Isn't this kind of green thinking a defect of this stage? The feeling that I get is that some excesses of green stage might turn into a matriarchy with women becoming entitled to every guy's money and men becoming scared and stiff interacting with them. I'm not using a MGTOW argument, since I'm not one LOL. I like getting to date and know a girl intimately. I'm just asking. Since I don't undestand why green isn't promoting free love and sex like orange was doing. I see a lot of shaming of sexuality, random allegations of harassment without evidence, and all that. Also all this blabbering about men being evil is just insane. I think that a true green stage should be about loving everybody, not just women. Share your insights.

Yeah, but I've already said that I promote neutrality of the law, not of empathy. Don't make me repeat a third time. I'm just concerned with delivering the truth on a formal level. Because at the end of the day we need police, judges and formal help. Feelings won't arrest anybody. But again I repeat that I would naturally suggest the person to report and to seek help. I think this is also a cultural problem, because north america is very cold and impersonal. It scares me a lot. I don't want Italy to become like america, it's such a disgusting place for personal relationships. Coming from my culture I can attest that siding with the relative/friend is NORMAL and the baseline here. But I get it that in america people are fucked in the head. You north americans have such a cold attitude towards family and friends. Here we have a very morbid attachment to family and friendship, to the point of being ideological LOL. This again proves that evolving our human interaction is the solution. Not asking for more government. By the way, I also believe that all this "death penalty culture" and "prison violence" that you have in america is one of the most fucked up things in the western world. To be honest I also believe that prisons are outdated and humankind needs to find a both empathetic and rational cure to criminals, and reintegrate them in society and making them feel accepted. Criminals tend to develop an ego around the punishment that they get, and this intensifies their suffering, which brings even more suffering to the innocent. And also to themselves. For example I feel a lot of pity and sadness towards school shooters. Makes me cry to just think what they must have endured to become crazy and insane... But the world is not ready to discover these "empathetic superpowers" that can heal damaged criminals to turn them into actualized beings. I strongly believe that a happy society holds no punishments for its citizens. I'd like to hear your thoughts because you have more experience than me in the field of systemic understanding.

I think this discussion is becoming ideological. I've already stated my clearly empathetic (and at the same time neutral) position. Being neutral AND suggesting the victim to GO to the police and file the accusation is NOT siding with the criminal. Or am I becoming an idiot who can't write? (by the way I'm italian, not american). This is my position. If a friend or a dear one comes to me, and says "I've been attacked bla bla bla, I'll respond: "I'm sorry! We have to file a police report right now, start investigations, find truth and punish the criminal (if the allegation is true)". A part from this, which is an empathetic approach to the person, I still keep being neutral inside myself. Because god know what really happened. We don't know!! What you have to understand is that knowing that you don't know is NOT siding with the criminal. Siding with the criminal is the classic "slut shaming". That's siding with the aggressor! Not being neutral and analytical. Being neutral means that you want the investigation to happen and yet at the same time you just know that it's all wrapped in black, deep darkness.... Reason is the only light of hope in a world of darkness.

I'm talking about the spiral dynamics stages. Check it out on Leo's channel. Or read the articles on the internet. Each stage has positive and negative traits. Green stage brings emotional awareness and finally removes all racial and sexual biases. But at the same time it has a dark side of mob mentality, cult-like behaviours, somehow similar to the purple and blue stages. Collectivist stages tend to be very inquisitory and anti-individualism.

What you are seeing (which is true) is the dark side of stage green spiral dynamics. Full emotional retardation. The bright side of it is emotional intelligence, empathy etc which are wonderful. Now this stage has to develop its dark side too, like orange already did. Once this bullshit becomes completely corrupted, stage yellow will arise and all this emotional nonsense will be crucified and fixed. And we will finally have an actual caring and loving justice system, which protects victims and innocent people at the same time. We have to wait.

Supporting your friends and beloved ones is also tending to believe them. I am on your side with this one but... Actually you should be neutral in all cases. My rational and respectful response would always be "file a police report, and make the investigations start". Which is supporting justice. Which is what we want. I sympathize with abused people. I care for them. I also sympathize with innocent people, at the same level. That's why you have to ALWAYS suggest to start the investigations and to collect the data. Data are NOT pro victim neither pro criminal. They are pro justice. If you put your higher value on the friends you are fucking up justice. The same if you side with the accused. You are fucking up justice. I can totally assure you that truth is always, always on the side of the victim. Also on the side of the false accused. Now, of course I encourage the victim to file a police report! you have to start the investigations to find the truth!!! I think we are on the same side but I still don't get if you want to abolish the rational and neutral procedure to investigate in court. Which would be an atrocity towards justice. I asked if you are in favour of removing the "innocent until proven guilty" in tribunal. I'm talking about investigations and legal matters. Of course I support victims to denounce. That's obvious to me. If they are legit I WANT them to denounce.

I'm not picking a fight, but what's wrong with innocent until proven guilty? Do you understand that without the "innocent" model I can accuse you of anything and put you in big trouble even if you are innocent? Criminal cases must be dealt with extreme rationality and caution, because you're risking of ruining one of the two persons' lives. You can't just trust "He/she is a criminal" and send the other person to jail for sexual non proven misconduct or non proven scam or non proven terrorism. Now of course we want to send actual criminals to prison. But they have to be true!!! And we don't know at the beginning! I hope that I just misread because you're very intelligent.

I'm doing the necessay "homework". I want to fix this as soon as possible. Thanks for all your support!

This is a very personal and suffering topic for me. But I want to share it because I want to heal myself and the new girls who will be around me. I have grown up with a lot of conflict with the female sex around middle and high school (I'm in late 20s now), also experiencing a harsh divorce of my family at 14. My mother is very dear to me but I also have emotional issues with her, and I've grown up both loving her and feeling distant from her. She always reciprocated my affection and she always cared for me, but I've always felt this conflict with her, like: she cares for me but she also is emotionally detached. I think this fully explains my relationships with girls. I only choose girls who are nice girls, affectionate, caring, who help me to cook and prepare nice gifts for me etc, both my long term exes were like this. Very nice girls, empathetic, hugs, affection etc, and I completely avoid superficial girls. But my relationships with them were both loving and in fear of detachment. My first was very deep and affectionate but I also tended to accuse her A LOT of not caring for me and just using me for "emotional tampon", or just for filling up time. Which i guess was not true. She broke up with me very frustrated and depressed saying that I don't love her and that I continuously try to break up with her. Which was somehow true: I tried a lot of times to suggest to break up because I was in fear of being used as a "mannequin boyfriend" or a "routine boyfriend". My second gf was a better experience, I was more conscious and mature, and there was a lot of affection and deep topics too. She told me a lot of times that she really really wanted to spend a lot of time with me, which was very pleasant to my ear, and I always reciprocated with love. But after a while I started to accuse her too of being distant and detached. She explained a lot of times to me that I'm just fuckin' paranoid and negative, and that she had the proof that she loved me. I kept on telling her a lot of times that she is just putting up a front just to keep me calm and to keep me as her boyfriend. After a while she told me that she really really loves me and wants to become a public couple (we were not public with friends yet), and I completely refused because this meant to me to officially become the "trophy boyfriend" to show around like an object that you don't love but just use. So I completely refused and said "no, we have to remain secret". She started to resent me over the months and after a year she broke up with me in a completely peaceful but depressed and sad moment. She told me she loved me and cared for me and that I threw away everything so she adapted to it. And adapting to it meant to break up. We are still friends but she is now in a relationship publicly, with a guy who's not paranoid. She still appreciates me a lot and invites me to parties. The last thing: my relationship with female dating is VERY VERY troubled, even though I'm liberal minded and I LIKE female freedom to date. I tend to see girls dating as a form of "I date you and when you start to get feelings for me I'm going to date another one and fuck you over". Everytime I start to date a girl (the first phases) she tends to hint that she is also seeing other guys in the spare time. My exes did it too. And after a while they took a deep interest in me and dropped all the others. But this fact of telling me that they are seeing others, which comes from the fact that I'm very accepting of female sexuality and very liberal, seems to me like a form of "testing" from the universe, which seems to want to rub on my face that it scares the hell out of me of being "just one of their choices". I also tend to be very emotionally cautious with new girls, and put myself in the mental role of the potentially exploited, and her in the exploiter. Even though in reality it never happened, because I tend to connect only with nice and warm girls. What do you think is the root problem? How can i fix myself?

Thanks. I'm working on my identification with goodness first. It's hard but I have to meditate on it more and reach a point of full detachment from judging myself and my moral behaviour. And about my Anima I'm going to work on it after this. I didn't undestand this: do my preconceptions of women create my judgement of myself, or is it the opposite way?

By the way.. I have a very interesting example from another person. Maybe this explains why it's easier to see it. A girl that I know and that I helped in the past to become more accepting of people and of herself has this extreme Animus possession. Very hardcore and scary. I left her alone because I was also disgusted by her powerful hate and self hate. This girl judged very harshly every guy she was meeting at college. "this guy is a fucking loser, this one is too skinny, this too nerdy, this one is a pathetic fat loser" etc. And she looks very very confident and very arrogant in public. When a friend of ours told her to talk to me to find a better understanding of people... She crumbled. She told me that she hates herself so much. That she seeks approval in the world by studying science and literature, and by becoming the best intellectual in the world bla bla bla. This seems to me like Animus possession. In fact she is very very intellectually arrogant. Like a mean professor. And she sees all men as losers or if she likes them she judges them as weak and arrogant. Which is what she is LOL. Is this the dynamic you describe?

The reply in general is very deep. Thanks! About my goodness... i will start with this first! With meditation, inquiry and overall using consciousness. It will not be easy... I'm very dearly attached to my goodness and it pains me a lot to question it... also because the external reality confirms it, because nobody says I'm a bad person. I think I might be validated externally by this "persona". Maybe this is also correlated with my view of women as validation junkies. That's definitely a deja vu on my part.... I've had some few TERRIFYING experiences in times of peace and happines where completely random and monstruous images came up to my mind. I'm so ashamed of it, because I NEVER called these images up. They just showed up on their own, and I can't really explain them. They are not fetishes nor fantasies, just complete randomness!! In some occasions where I was happy with my family or with friends.. I had these flashing, in a horror style, images of me cracking my family's heads with an axe (people I love), or me throwing my girlfriend (at the time) down off a bridge and watching her drown in cold running water. The fact is that they were very HAPPY moments in real life and the images had nothing to do with it. These images had the effect of completely destroying the happiness of the moment and everytime it happened I immediately became sad and terrified of myself, causing me to go home alone to avoid those people. Because I didn't even had the courage to look at them in the eyes... It was soooo shameful.... Ok, this is very interesting and I would have never seen it with the goodness veil on. I will start with the goodness because I literally can't do it now... The fact is that in real life I have never objectified them. I have a lot of female friends and they seldom come to me to ask advice about sexuality, and a lot of these girls I have helped to overcome their stupid catholic shame for their sexuality. I literally don't see objectification. There may be! You are probably right! because there is something inside me which is obsessed with this evil female conspiracy. The fact is that I love talking and sharing sexual and emotional experiences with girls. My female friends consider me the most open minded guy they know. And I know that this is "goodness validation". I recognize that I deeply enjoy being loved for my openmindedness and for my caring attitude towards female sexuality. This may be somehow the cause of this "validation virus" that I project onto women. But about the objectification... I'm honest, I really never see them as porn figures or just sexual creatures. I've always cared for their emotions and their emotional well being. The problem is that I believe you. I am SURE that there is something I am doing wrong regarding my mindset towards women. I feel it that something is really bitter towards me inside... and I might have find the cause of the validation obsession... But I can't find right now the cause of the coldness and detachment that the Anima is playing on me. It means that I'm being cold, calculating or scheming in regards to women, but I can't see where right now. The external world tells me that I'm not. Are you sure that the Anima always sends back to you what you are doing wrong to her? Isn't it just a self esteem issue while I'm already in integrity with women?

@Emerald sorry, I forgot the question about the goodness. Yes, I have discovered this year, with self help work and with inquiry, that I identify a lot with the stereotype of the young non-actualized hero. The classic Peter Parker/Luke Skywalker cliche of the young inexpressed hero who's good to everybody and somehow a victim of his sorroundings and has not answered his call yet. I've recently noticed that I also have some fear of permanent success because that requires to move beyond the inexperienced hero stereotype. Yes, being called "evil" or "miserable" or "despicable" etc triggers me a lot, because I've always strived to be good and respectful to everybody and to help others too. I think this "image" also made me the very caring person that my friends know me for.

Dude, relax. I've seen a lot of pretty girls with nerdy guys or fat guys. This is good news because you just have to work on your charisma. It works, I'm practising approaching and meeting girls this year and it works. You will get dates and you will get better. It's the internal issues you have to deal with. I'm a nerdy looking guy, young, skinny, too mental... and I get dates too... I've also had two pretty girls as gfs in the recent past. And I have very few muscles. You have internal issues (like me and like others here) and you need to fix that. If she's aroused by your character and your charisma she does not care about your image. By the way, are you italian? Lol

Well, that makes perfect sense. I can live with that. It's true that everyone of us is looking for people we actually like and not some poor version of that. I completely agree. The component of that which scares me is: do they CARE about your authentic self, about your being, if you are compatibile with their wants, or are they just using you because you fit their standards? This is exactly the part that worries me unconsciously. I personally care about the girl if I like her. That's also why I feel damaged by the chance that she's using me.

@Emerald Ok, I've seen all the three main videos Now I have a better understanding of these polarities and how them both work inside of me. Now I think I need to do some "shadow work" about my Anima, I guess. What do you suggest are the issues with my feminine spirit? I don't know where to start to find them out and resolving them. Do you also have suggestions on how to discover myself the issues of my Anima's resentment? The only thing I know is that, while I tend to see men and women as neutral and as random people, I tend to see the girls I like as shady and affectionate at the same time, cold and warm, depending on the moment, and also very very fickle in a first dating scenario. Also a big problem I have is that I have this subtle and almost unconscious fear of being coldly used and replaced in the appropriate time. Almost like these girls were machiavellian strategists who just show emotions as a tool for getting results. And I have a very huge problem with women's emotional validation. I project this fear on the girls I like and see them as egotistical self absorbed creatures who crave validation from men and then ignore them after being validated. It's not slut shaming by the way, since I have no problem with female sexuality, but I DO have problems with female "fickle" emotions and affections. P.S. as you stated in the videos and in the forum, I also have that strong sexual obsession you describe with anima. When I date a girl I tend to obsess in my mind with the sexual experience with her and this always led them to say that I'm always horny (not in a negative way, but they all noticed that). I don't know if this is just sex drive or anima possession, but I remember that you hinted to that in the forum.