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Everything posted by billiesimon

  1. I tried both in different months of this year, and I don't know which is better to self actualize. My end goal for this stage of my life is to become: more motivated more productive less scared of the future and of "negative consequences" more socially free and extrovert less pressured by societal judgement more enthusiastic about life and less apathetic (I get a lot of apathetic/almost sad days and this makes me suffer a lot) What should I focus more on to get these social and motivational results? Classic meditation or self inquiry? I'm actually afraid that self inquiry might make me even more apathetic and idle about social life (when in fact I really really want to let go of social pressure).
  2. Also be aware that you might have an ego of being the good loser guy, like I have. If you believe you are the good guy who gets targeted by evil, you are going to act in a weird manner that's going to attract negative reactions, or upset good people, whom you're going to misinterpret as bad people (like I did with the good girls I dated in the recent years).
  3. Well. there's a double reason for that. The first and most important is that you have your psychological issues to fix. I am fixing mine, and the way that the "feminine world" is responding to me is changing too. When you start to emotionally understand women you will start to attract a more positive feminine vibe. The second reason is that the vast majority of people are indoctrinated by mainstream society, which means that a big percentage of women (and men) are just zombies addicted to gossip, the latest Iphone, and reality shows. The end result is that a lot of women (and again, men) are in the matrix, shallow, superficial, trained by the government to be silent puppies and consume. Regarding projection, I used to think a lot that women were very very fickle and avoidant of commitment. Then I started inquiring and meditating about my behaviours and discovered that in the past I've been VERY fickle and incongruent with women. Things like inviting them to a date and then never actually organizing the details to meet and just disappear. Another thing I used to do was to avoid like hell to show our relationship to my and her friends, because public commitment was scary to me at the time. And so I projected it onto women. By the way after 6-12 months of commitment "in the shadows" these girls all dumped me because of it (now I recognize they were right) and I then had an excuse to play the victim and feel like the "good one" mistreated. Now, I've also had legitimate bad experiences but only as a teenager. The experiences up here are more recent, after I developed this damaged persona.
  4. Very useful response! But what kind of practice would be faster and more effective on killing the most corrupt parts of my ego? I'm talking about social anxieties, status anxiety/persona anxiety, weak motivation to biuld my life on some days, a lot of self doubts, and a general under the skin fear of expressing my authenticity. Of course also my "nicest" parts are ego, but I want to start by dissolving my worst egoic features. The ones who create fear, anxiety, paralysis in careers, and with socializing. What kind of meditation or inquiry would help me the most?
  5. Hey girls. I'm trying to better understand women and how they feel and perceive their own sexual and relational worlds. Since I have my own view, which is of course shaped by me being a young man and being hurt in the past by some girls, I need to hear directly from women what some experiences are for them, to really understand them and reconcile myself with some shadows I have had. What about relationships vs casual sex? I've been shocked years ago by discovering that a lot of girls I knew were only interested in casual sex (this because I tend to prefer relationships). Now I'm openminded about that and I don't judge, but I'd like to hear your own feelings about it. Do you find more satisfaction and magnetic attraction towards casual sex/seeing different men/casual dating or towards a passionate close relationship? The stereotype is of course "girls want closeness" but in some of my experiences I've seen a lot of girls just casually dating with low interest in love. But I'm not judjing, just asking share what you feel
  6. This is the best one so far!!! I think I'll try to create some, I love these time-wasting retarded topics
  7. Interesting topic. In my opinion marriage is a dead institution, which carries on as a scam to rob people of money and to run corrupt government departments. I know it's also my ego, but I generally feel disgust towards marriage, because the act of signing a contract ABOUT MONEY when talking about love is the epitome of corruption and self interest. If you really love someone, just go live together. You don't need a paper that assures you that you'll rob the other person of their money. Nature doesn't need marriage. Just go live together and build a nice happy life with your emotional commitment. Keep the government out of my fucking private love life.
  8. I came here the first time in the forum with some negative beliefs about women, based on negative experiences and some pessimistic political articles. At least when I was similar to you I came here with humility and willingness to learn. I decided to question my default victim mentality and start to open myself up to the woman's experience. For the last time: don't hold onto your ego. Listen to @Emerald, who's dedicated to this area of self help. I really appreciate what she did here on the forum to heal the feminine side of men. Now the power of healing yourself is up to you. Notice also how your ego claims to be "self actualizing" while you are in fact debating the people who already dealt with this problem you have we're trying to help you.
  9. Bro, calm down. She's just trying to help you. I can feel all your sadness in your posts. I was in a similar position two years ago, but not so deep luckily. You feel rejected by the feminine energy and you crave the soft emotions that they give you. You have to accept this. It's not a loser thing. You have to embrace the neediness and then do the necessary work to remove it. The first step is becoming aware of the moments where you project evil onto women. This woman is an example of a woman you would appreciate, because she is giving you what you want: empathy and a way out of your sadness. Notice that you are resisting her and thus creating this false reality where she is just "another female enemy". When in fact she's the opposite. Become aware of the fear of the opposite sex and release it.
  10. I know I'm late with this "scandal" about Teal Swan, since she discussed it in autumn 2017 but I discovered it just these days. And it firstly shocked me, then horrified me, then made me guess my comprehension of the world, then made me investigate more, then made me comfortable and content again. And I learned a lot about reality and about our collective minds. Here's what I learned. This is the video where she responds to a tornado of hateful and skeptical videos or articles Here's how my mind opened up a lot by questioning this controversy: 1. Let's start by saying that I like Teal's work, especially the shadow/emotional work. When I discovered this controversy the first reaction I had was "it's just envy! these people can't understand the effort and dedication that Teal is putting in her job! They are disgusting!" And I was triggered HARD, man.... Really hard.... I reacted because of fanboy-mentality. 2. I decided to investigate the allegations of scam/fakeness/greediness with a somehow open mind, even though it was painful to give up some of my "ideological ego" to do this. 3. A lot of allegations, provided with facts and citations, seemed very consistent and when I went to verify them, they were factually true! At this point a felt a very depressing and devastating feeling inside me. "what if all the people that have helped me to change my old sad and hopeless life were fake? what does this mean? why can't there just be authentic people out there? why would she do that?" This was very painful and the only thing that remained to me was to investigate more. 4. I started to feel some kind of repulsion towards her figure, and this kind of "gut feeling" started to develop inside me, becoming "my tryth" (a term that, honestly, is just BS). I felt like I had to REALLY distance myself from her teachings and philosophy. This became completely real to me. She was fake. No doubts about it. 5. My first instinct was just to leave all this matter alone and forget about it and forget about her teachings. Then I read in an article about her that she made a response video). My gut feeling told me to leave it alone and just recover from the false teachings. 6. And then Leo's video about radical openmindedness struck me like a thunder. The same open mind who got you to investigate the scandal should also make you investigate the response she made. It felt painful but I decided to look it up, even though I was skeptical as fuck. 7. The video struck me like a second "scandal". I went full circle. Teal completely, rationally, logically, systemically, demolished all of the allegations (watch the video and you will see) and didn't fall in the trap of bashing her haters. She just honestly explained her work and her choices in life. That's just it. She just explained it in a very honest and neutral way. I was sooooo shocked. Not by the video. But by my mind. My mind completely fucked my up, believing in random allegations with an emotional and hysterical feel to it. And my mind fell to the superficial explanations of these detractors. This made my mind more open to this shocking reality: Our mind is so fragile, and weak, and blind. Our minds lurk in the absolute darkness of ignorance, mob thinking, gossip, idolization, and demonization. Teal is not a guru, she's just a woman on the path of self discovery, helping others to do it too. And all the people criticizing her so harshly because of scattered facts with NO context.... are just trapped by their own egos (envy? fear?), thus projecting negative traits onto her. But at the same time they are just humans, with positive traits too! They should not be demonized either. This is how we start fighting eachother. This is how we create drama and emotional pain. This is how MY mind works and how I deceived MYSELF all my life. This means that my mind is ALWAYS in the darkness. We are all swimming in darkness, following ideologies, following the BS that our friend tell us, following the lies that we tell ourselves too. This made me realize that we don't know. Period. We don't even know that we don't know.
  11. Totally true. He had good intentions even before the scandal, but he was too egotistical. After the scandal he became more genuine and relatable.
  12. Yeah, I've seen this video on the release date, and it certainly helped me to understand this "scandal". Every single person has a unique path in life that we can't understand.
  13. Oh god help me. Why are you being confrontational? I just gave a nice suggestion to be free and to not be intimidated by old outdated XVIII century traditions. Do I really need to explain? Let's do it. We live in the third millennium, we are not in a traditionalist era. We all have te same civil rights. I completely understand that you can be paranoid about some behaviours. I'm a paranoid person too. So I was just trying to cheer you up, because you CAN live a fullfilling life nowadays and I want you to. it was out of empathy for your paranoid tendencies, since I have some too. It's not because I'm an evil patriarch with a slavery business. God dammit. Be happy, be free. I don't need to cheer you up. I just like motivating people out of empathy.
  14. I guess trying to help you was sexist.
  15. After spamming responses like there's no tomorrow I want to leave a personal "feeling" about the topic. Creating a peaceful and harmonious society is one of the most important end goals of liberalism. And of humankind. But I personally get triggered a lot when I hear violent and hate-speechy opinions of feminists, especially when they reject egalitarianism. Because it's like a pope who chants about peace and charity and then screams when you criticize his decision to start a crusade. Talking about feelings... It makes me feel like they are not allies but enemies. Because you feel betrayed for being a liberal bleeding heart. Because you're born in the "wrong race". It feels like you are their best companion and then stabbed.
  16. What do you mean with The Beautiful Place? I may have lost some pieces of the insight. Why are women obsessed with being superior to men? Can't we just live in peace without judging eachother? Aren't we all of equal worth in this world?
  17. You FEEL. That's not observable reality. I personally feel paranoid about a lot of things but I recognize them as paranoia. You are greatly increasing the problem by using these fake gendered names, because in fact you can use a female one and stop blaming others about it. In the west we can all take you seriously, you just have to take responsibility for your actions and words, and stop blaming others for "my fake male name". I'm sorry for the rant, I'm on your side but you have to realize that you yourself are enforcing this female stigma.
  18. There's a lot of feminists who attack men as a whole gender, not the ones who are sexist. This reveals a lot about the deep issues of this ideology. It's destined to die when yellow and torquoise stages will land on earth. You can't have a sexist and separatist movement in a truly evolved earth. We need a complete and whole form of equality, for men, women, kids, and elders to reach peace and social freedom. Imagine if somebody tomorrow would create a movement called "youthism" (lol) and starts to dictate that all humans need to conform to the problems and lifestyles of the youth. And also define that "equality". That's an open contradiction. If someone truly wants equality and freedom for all we have to rewrite social norms, that's for sure. But not in the name of machism, nor feminism. Nor BLM. Nor white supremacy. Fuck all those identity politics. Start letting women do whatever the fuck they want. I completely support that, But at the same time I want nobody to come to me and say that I can't sit on a bench or that person is going to get my "fuck off" greeting. Same I suggest to women: if someone tells you how to or not to have sex, tell them to shut the fuck up. And stop moralizing other people. This BS makes it hard for me to completely embrace green stage because I LIKE the core idea of green: especially world peace and anti-military are my core green beliefs. But when I see idiotic people on the streets protesting about men drinking coffee and reading sports newspaper instead of developing themselves or building a business or travelling the world... oh boy (oh neutral gendered kid)... I want to send them to work in mines LOL.
  19. @Leo Gura by the way, I was doing some research on the matter of male-female dynamics in the forum and on your channel, and I run into an old comment of yours. You were talking about the fact that today the green-stage gender neutral culture is blurring all male-female features and confusing the hell out of people about the two polarities. Which by the way I totally absolutely agree on. Do you still agree with this view of yours?
  20. In your classic actualized videos you recommend some specific dating advices: being masculine, positive, leadership, taking risks, approaching at social events, flirting etc, and also all the advice you shared with Tripp in the collab video. Do you still endorse that? I remember that AFTER those videos you made the PUA rant video. (sorry for the noob question)
  21. This video is insane (in a good way). This man is so present in reality and so clean of thoughts that he attracted her with just being. This is in my opinion where pickup artistry should be headed towards. Being and thus loving.
  22. @Leo Gura Thanks for the response! I'm not doing it for "PUA success". I'm interested in meeting new people to find a new social circle, since I left most of my old friends, who are not into self help and they don't get along that well nowadays. Also I'm interested in finding a nice girl who's into self help and who's at least decently conscious of her path in life. At least better than the average lazy person. In poor words I'm looking for a better social circle and for a nice girlfriend who has natural chemistry with me.
  23. This is mainly a question I have for Leo and for the advanced people here, because I'm still puzzled and can't undestand this. I'm not demonizing green, I'm somehow half orange half green, and a huge pacifist myself. For what I can see, orange stage is all about freedom of sex and love, living fast, living young etc. This enabled the rock and roll lifestyle for both men and women. What I start to see these years is that green stage is trying to limit the dating freedom by accusing everyone of BS harassment, in such a way that boys are becoming stifled and scared of dating. Isn't this kind of green thinking a defect of this stage? The feeling that I get is that some excesses of green stage might turn into a matriarchy with women becoming entitled to every guy's money and men becoming scared and stiff interacting with them. I'm not using a MGTOW argument, since I'm not one LOL. I like getting to date and know a girl intimately. I'm just asking. Since I don't undestand why green isn't promoting free love and sex like orange was doing. I see a lot of shaming of sexuality, random allegations of harassment without evidence, and all that. Also all this blabbering about men being evil is just insane. I think that a true green stage should be about loving everybody, not just women. Share your insights.
  24. Yeah, but I've already said that I promote neutrality of the law, not of empathy. Don't make me repeat a third time. I'm just concerned with delivering the truth on a formal level. Because at the end of the day we need police, judges and formal help. Feelings won't arrest anybody. But again I repeat that I would naturally suggest the person to report and to seek help. I think this is also a cultural problem, because north america is very cold and impersonal. It scares me a lot. I don't want Italy to become like america, it's such a disgusting place for personal relationships. Coming from my culture I can attest that siding with the relative/friend is NORMAL and the baseline here. But I get it that in america people are fucked in the head. You north americans have such a cold attitude towards family and friends. Here we have a very morbid attachment to family and friendship, to the point of being ideological LOL. This again proves that evolving our human interaction is the solution. Not asking for more government. By the way, I also believe that all this "death penalty culture" and "prison violence" that you have in america is one of the most fucked up things in the western world. To be honest I also believe that prisons are outdated and humankind needs to find a both empathetic and rational cure to criminals, and reintegrate them in society and making them feel accepted. Criminals tend to develop an ego around the punishment that they get, and this intensifies their suffering, which brings even more suffering to the innocent. And also to themselves. For example I feel a lot of pity and sadness towards school shooters. Makes me cry to just think what they must have endured to become crazy and insane... But the world is not ready to discover these "empathetic superpowers" that can heal damaged criminals to turn them into actualized beings. I strongly believe that a happy society holds no punishments for its citizens. I'd like to hear your thoughts because you have more experience than me in the field of systemic understanding.
  25. I think this discussion is becoming ideological. I've already stated my clearly empathetic (and at the same time neutral) position. Being neutral AND suggesting the victim to GO to the police and file the accusation is NOT siding with the criminal. Or am I becoming an idiot who can't write? (by the way I'm italian, not american). This is my position. If a friend or a dear one comes to me, and says "I've been attacked bla bla bla, I'll respond: "I'm sorry! We have to file a police report right now, start investigations, find truth and punish the criminal (if the allegation is true)". A part from this, which is an empathetic approach to the person, I still keep being neutral inside myself. Because god know what really happened. We don't know!! What you have to understand is that knowing that you don't know is NOT siding with the criminal. Siding with the criminal is the classic "slut shaming". That's siding with the aggressor! Not being neutral and analytical. Being neutral means that you want the investigation to happen and yet at the same time you just know that it's all wrapped in black, deep darkness.... Reason is the only light of hope in a world of darkness.