Dream - Growing Eyes and Glitching Out

[Keryo Koffa]

I looked at myself in the mirror in my room, there was a light bruise across the side of my forehead, I didn't mind it. But then I saw a small a thirld eye, but it wasn't in the center, it was at the side of my head. I thought it might not be another eye but an opening to my right eye from the side, but it had a pupil as well and when I was opening and closing my right eye, that one opened and closed as well. I was trying to close and open my eyes to see if I can see through that one as well, but if so I, I could only make out vague colors.

I accidently put my finger inside of it, I was afraid I might have damaged it. Then I noticed it was hollow. But then I noticed that wasn't the same spot. It was below, that hole was below the side of my cheek bone, I put my finger inside my mouth towards that place from inside my mouth and I could pass my finger through that hole. But then I went back to looking at the half as big third eye at the side plane of my head slightly above my right eye, the eyeball was okay but it seemed verly loose and was moving to the inside and outside, I wasn't sure if it was still attached.

I tried to lightly touch it to see if its stable, but it turned into mush, that felt unfortunate, I had been rather eager to integrate it. I looked into the corridor mirror and saw my whole face had turned into distorted flesh without eyes but overgrown with large spots of just open red flesh misformed beyond recognition. My mom came out of the kitchen and she was shocked, trying to help but no idea how. I was kinda surprised she didn't scream her guts out. At that point I briefly saw my face in a vision from the outside. It was covered in endless eyes, there was no space for skin or flesh anymore. Then it was switching between eyes and no eyes and my vision froze and into a glitched image. Nothing happened, I intuitively closed and opened my eyes, nothing happened, I intuited it was probably a dream and blinked but nothing, then I moved and noticed I was awake, there was just an afterimage in my sight interpreted onto the wall before me as I was lying in my bed in the dark after waking up.

Just after waking, I was scared but now I'm more intrigued, even while dreaming that face, it felt fine because my vision didn't fade and even after it did, I felt conscious even if I was frozen in a glitched image. I was conscious throughout, so that kindof made it feel alright even if the contents were trippy. Wanna interpret?

[Keryo Koffa]

I just had a second dream and now I'm convinced they're trying to teach me something. In this one, I was attending a party, there was a line to a building and I was just let through. I went through the building, many doors, there were very few people and no party in sight, I went out, looked around the building. There were others walking by, they were giggling. I went around to another huge building, again there was no party. I met an old classmate, he was also looking and we walked together. Third huge building, still nothing. Other classmates walked by. Finally joined them, walked through rooms sat down, they started laughing.

At that point I just knew it, all my intuitions came together. They were playing a game with me. On top of that I intuited the lost classmate that was walking with me was also pretending to be lost, his behavior did seem not fully authentic throughout. Then ai said they're probably live streaming me to the party for fun but then I realised there probably is no party. So then I got annoyed and woke up. And now I know they weren't real either. And the game wasn't real either. And the invitation wasn't real either.

My subconscious was creating the whole scenario that my conscious self was thrust into. Though the subconscious is really just my experiences and emotions running amuck and intuitively marerializing that which bothers me because I keep thinking about it and it keeps weighing me down consciously or unconsciously. I could have simulated a nice party instead.

It's an infinitely scalable intuition I now have access to. There are no parties, there are appearences and expectations of parties but parties are really just gatherings with the intention of evoking enthusiasm. And that intuition applies to every object too. Objects are gestalts, holons, appearances, perspectives.

I'm inquiring again:

What is real? Are senses real? Is fantasy real? Is vision real when it is devoid of objects? Can it even be? At this point, what's seems real to me fluctuates. Are some appearances more real than others? If I see the color blue, it is blue, associations are circumstantual projections but blueness itself as itself in undeniable. Not that an object is blue, not that blue is a color, not that blue is a lightwave, not that blue interacts with anything but just that it exists. Feelings exist, they can be projected which is drawing arbitrary associations, but they exist all the same as themselves devoid 1of context, though they often appear in context, but that's through association. The configuration of all phenomena id infinitely rewirable through associations and they create their own holons through context, context is a holon, a perspective but existence is fundamental for experience. Experience is exitence. Though the word experience points at an experiencer, but it's really just divisable existence.

Now that I got that out of my system, I'll go back to meditating

Edited January 20 by Keryo Koffa