Insight Into The Nature Of Attachment

[Yimpa]

Hello y’all. Here’s a deep insight into attachment I’ve held in my secret journal since last August. I felt it was too vulnerable for me to share at the time, but now I’m ready to share! Slight edits have been made for clarity’s sake. Maybe you can relate to this experience, or maybe not. Either way, thank you for reading! 

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I was meditating this morning, and halfway through the session I observed my heart gradually beating faster and more intensely. Within a few seconds it became pretty intense. This is what I imagine people go through during their final moments before death. I’ve had this sensation many times before, with my usual response to avoid or distract myself. But this time was different. I made a commitment to explore deeper and to trust in whatever experience was to arise.  

Soon after, I had a vague, but deeply intimate image of my father. I realized in that moment how much love I have for him. I was filled with regret, sadness, and complete loneliness at how disconnected I’ve been to him. Yet, what was also very clear in that moment is how I am creating him. I had an urge to deepen and protect this relationship / creation, but I quickly realized that the mistake was to do exactly that. Something in me intuitively understood that I was attempting to reconnect with him from a place of fear and selfishness. So I let that image and idea of him go. My state of consciousness also went back to baseline.

What I learned from that meditation session is that I’m still clinging onto relationships in this unstable way. I also realize how out of touch we are when we’re deeply engaged in the day-to-day life (i.e. our survival strategies). We keep chasing a final/complete/perfect destination that’s supposedly waiting for us; that we need to strive for and maintain it. 

Wisdom is teaching me that there’s not much time left; that the need for security and comfort can only go so far. And far it never goes. I’d rather open up to Truth in what I call Inclusive Unification. That is, the state of Being which incorporates the entire field of experience while simultaneously expanding beyond what we cling onto. Unifying all pieces of the same puzzle, while simultaneously not being attached to any particular puzzle piece. 

I still have much work on healing myself, but this was a powerful glimpse into the nature of attachment. The possibilities are miraculous if I stay committed and honest on this journey!

[Yimpa]

 

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Yup!

The final attachment you need to let go of is the attachment towards awakening/spirituality. At some point, you just need to trust life to take you wherever it wants to take you... in its own time and on its own terms.