Upasana Journal

[caspex]

I have progressed. Past few years my spiritual journey was all about the mind i.e. building knowledge, experiencing ego deaths, realizing oneness, no others, impermanence. 

Now it's moving towards the heart. Few days ago I had an awakening of the heart where I understood the certainty of the true self. My heart bloomed and I felt I had breathed in after a long time. Calmness, peace. Above all I felt that I was good. Goodness seemed to be the point of life. I am the source of all Goodness in the world.

This was a long time coming, I realized that I needed to move towards the heart for a long time.

 

Although this made me realize how backwards I am going about it. In the three granthi system you go bottom up. i.e. the gut, heart then the mind. 

Awakening in your gut should provide you with a sense of utter security, balance and stability. I actually want to work on that before the heart. I believe the ephemeral nature of the spiritual states would be made more permanent if I do this.

 

During the start of this journal I was going at my sadhana hardcore and I became a complete celibate too. I had forsaken even garlic and onion. Right now the only thing I avoid is non-vegetarian items and any sort of intoxicants. If I am gonna work on awakening my gut and the base of spine I assume controlling my sexual urges must be a big part of that. Brahma Granthi sits between Muladhara and Svadhisthana after all. This should increase my connection with my deity too and increase the quality of my sadhana.

For now I am just going to start by sitting and focusing on the contract points between me and the ground. Really feeling into the base of my body and hopefully my being as well.

Edited Monday at 11:38 AM by caspex