Is depression a malfunction or just lucidity?

[BojackHorseman]

Who's to say depression is not more realistic than people being happy or enthusiastic?

The older I get, the more I feel like I cannot bear people, feelings, all the conventions, being happy for the same things again and again.

I feel like I'm very lucid tho. But everything just feels bad and annoying.

Looks like I'm getting worse instead of getting better as I'm aging.

I don't want meds. I think I'm just weak and whiny. Also, I've read many experience of meds making people kinda worse.