My Journey

[Linuziux]

Ok, so this is my first entry and I did not think I will be ready to write here... Ever ? I've a lot of work still ahead of me on many aspects, but after watching jet another mind blowing video by Leo I just had to write down what I've discovered. And what better place then here, right? 

This is going to be (well I think so anyway) a place to write down my discoveries and lightbulb moments along this path of open-mindedness and discovery of the world as it is.

So here it goes. Last night I stumbled  upon a video called  'free will vs determinism' and it blew my mind(as I said). It made me sad, I think I was feeling sorry for myself, I was going through a lot of emothions, but I felt like I knew it all along... It was so strange, the experience was surreal. I felt like my self dilutions were shattered and I was shivering naked to the truth. But I knew the truth and chose to look the other way all this time. It sounds bizarre, it felt bizarre, but a lot of it made sense.  I still have to wrap my brain around it but I'm working on it, I'm testing it out, just letting go as much as I can.

Anyway, the split second that proved the theory for me happened later. I was in bed, nice and cosy, wrapped up comfortably, and for a second I observed this occur - my throught was tickly, out of NOWHERE the thought came 'need to get some honey' (problem-immediate sollution right the same second, no thinking, the CEO behind the eyes (love this expression) was completely unaware). So thurther I observe the thoughts coming in, the feelings in the context of 'oh no, stay in bed, it's so warm and I just got so cosy, it's late' and so on... I was amazed at this situation but not surprised, I know now that we are willing to sabotage ourselves for comfort. 

Ok, I've got to run, but I'll try and keep this journal going. I guess it's unlocked for all to see, so if it helps you-be my guest!  

P.S. I've been applying this idea to my daily life - the more I don't want to do smth, I MUST do!  And I have to admit it made my life so much better. Imagine doing that for a year, 5years...