Feeling Of Being Side Character Of Your Own Life

[lPav0l]

Hi everyone. My first post, so I wasn't sure where to make this topic, so feel free to move it, if it's necessary.

Lets start this with little thought play:
Think your life as a movie or a book. You are THE Star (main character) of that story. You live your life doing things and meeting people (side characters).

Some day in future, your story is going to end. You are going to die. Do you want your story to be repetitive an boring to experience, or do you want it to be full of adventure and excitement, full of colorful and amazing people? Do you want to end your story in bitter feeling of not doing enough and not following your dream? Or do you want do die happy full of great memories and fulfillment?

That is a great philosophy, I think myself. But, there is a problem. I don't see myself as a main character. I see myself as a side character.

I've kind of always seen myself as person that comes into your story, is your friend or enemy, helps you along the way, and after a while, disappears from your story. When I'm with nobody, i am non-existent.

This non-existant feeling goes sometimes so intense, that i almost physically feel invisible. To me it's beautifully melancholic feeling: you just silently observe life happening, everyone around you going about their lives, like a memory, or as a ghost.


I've been wondering:
What this feeling is?
Where it comes from?
Have you others felt that feeling?

Discussion open 

[Guest]

"Most people don't realize that they are extras in their own movie" - Bob Proctor

What a powerful and scary thought this is...but so fucking hard to fully comprehend and act upon it to correct this fundamental mistake we are making.

[Electron]

I think, that you have sold out yourself in the eclat of the world. You have become a spectator of the life of others and abandoned your own. I used to be like that when I was purposeless. I loved watching others living and doing great things but was ignorant of the fact entirely that it was literally possible for me to play the hero. If this is what you have always done, you won't believe me if I tell you how good it feels to play the Alpha and taking the complete responsibilty of your own ass. As Soren Kirkegaard said " Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living".

[FindingPeace]

1 hour ago, lPav0l said:

I've kind of always seen myself as person that comes into your story, is your friend or enemy, helps you along the way, and after a while, disappears from your story. When im with nobody, i am non-existant.

This is an even more profound insight than it appears. It explains something I've never been able to put my finger on. There are people out there who feel like 'extras' in someone else's story, and others who feel like the protagonist. Suddenly make a lot of things make perfect sense to me. Like needy people who are needy because without the other 'main characters' the feel empty, non-existant and meaningless. On the other hand there are peope who feel much like they are the protagonist and that others are purely extras.

It is true that we should all be telling our own story and be the main character but also we must treat others with the respect of being equally important because although they are our extras, they are the centre of their own story.

I've learned something today..

[Stef]

17 minutes ago, Sigma said:

I think, that you have sold out yourself in the eclat of the world. You have become a spectator of the life of others and abandoned your own. I used to be like that when I was purposeless. I loved watching others living and doing great things but was ignorant of the fact entirely that it was literally possible for me to play the hero. If this is what you have always done, you won't believe me if I tell you how good it feels to play the Alpha and taking the complete responsibilty of your own ass. As Soren Kirkegaard said " Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living".

Pretty much this.

[MaxBlank]

@lPav0l I tend to agree with you. I would welcome this experience and let it ride. If you can "see" your life like that, you can also learn from it, or move beyond somehow.

I believe this is an experience that happen along the way toward greater enlightenment.

The first lesson from Zen I ever learned was "It is what it is".

I did not create my life. I did not ever control a single circumstance that occurred, a single happening. Always, I reacted to what was. Things happened as they happened and I was always a part of something bigger, never apart from anything (except in my mind). I could go on all day about what life is like having become aware of these things, but I'll just state that it is much different today, and from time to time it is a good thing to be able to sit back and realize "it is what it is". It is a relief to not be stuck in a rat race.

 

Edited February 12, 2016 by WarPants
missed a word!

[lPav0l]

@Sigma I have been starting to "own" my life since I started self-improvement. I feel now that I'm in control and I should live my life for myself. I want to help others but I need to remember not to forget myself in that process.