Channelings of pure love

[Loving Radiance]

I'd like to share what I wrote in my diary. They are inspiring and ever-loving messages for me, and I hope that you can also connect to source from reading that. It started after the trip, where God spoke to me through my mouth.

What pure love wrote is in bold italic.

 

I don't wish any comments here, no matter what their message or intention is. You can message me or comment elsewhere.

Edited March 7, 2022 by Loving Radiance

[Loving Radiance]

April 26, 2021

I haven't started looking for an internship in all these weeks. I haven't written in the journal for a long time either. I don't put my laundry out. I don't shower or meditate. I feel bad. I distract myself with YouTube and Twitch to take my focus off feeling bad. I realize that a memory game I am playing is pushing me too hard and that's why I switch off, because I wanted to distract myself. I don't do the catching up on lecture notes. I don't look for an English lecture topic. I don't go do shopping errands. I don't do yoga. I don't play the guitar I borrowed or use my dream board. I haven't done anything else for university apart from attending lectures; I'm not studying, nor am I working up anything. The sun is shining outside. I'm listening to this song. The world is beautiful and good. My child, I want the best for you. I want everything for you. You are so loved to experience this. I gave you my seed [for you] to know your goodness. You are here to create. I feel you want to create goodness. Get out there, my child. I love you so much.

 

April 30, 2021

I don't know what to do. I'm in limbo. Just like a year ago when I didn't start doing anything for university. I'm passing the days. I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of being great. It doesn't feel good. God tells me what I am and I resist. You don't think you're great and perfect, but you are. You can deny it all you want, but it is in you. It is your nature. When you go into the cold water, you feel resistance. But it subsides and then you flow. [...] I have identified with a lazy side, so now I don't want to let go of it, even though it doesn't feel good. You are so wise. You already know what feels good. Start small. Take the first small step. Give yourself to love. It is a process. It's okay that you don't radiate 100% of your love right away. By letting go, you will be reborn. Let go and flow. You feel that you are the water. You are love. Love destroys you and gives birth to you again and again. You are so loved. You are my child. You are perfect. You are too good to believe in yourself. You are pure goodness. I'll come back to you. Thank you.

 

 

May 6, 2021

Dear God. I am writing to you again because I am despairing again. I know what is good, but I think I am not enough. I know you say I am perfect now as I am, but I think I am small, and I see I am stuck in my old habits. It doesn't feel good at all. And yet it feels uncomfortable to go outside my habits. It doesn't feel good to be in my habits, and it doesn't feel good to go outside my comfort zone. I just waste my days here and take for granted the life you have given me. I am disconnected from you by thinking that I can just live away this precious time of life, thinking that I can just go on living and giving in to boredom. It's boring to be inside my comfort zone. It doesn't feel good. What does feel good? The knowing and desire in my heart. You already know what is right. You are pure. You are [clean]. Know yourself and see that you have always been pure. You know your truth. How you think you are is not your truth. You think you have no strength, but your heart gives you strength. The most unpleasant thing I can do now is to start learning, which I will do anyway. And it's smart to learn now than to start later. It's okay to feel fragile. You know your goodness.

 

May 21, 2021

Dear God, I am so grateful for life. I have been struggling with myself for so long, keeping myself small. Maybe I'm fooling myself by focusing more strictly on self-development, but I feel it's a coming back to what's important. Completing basics that I never completed. I feel resistance even now. I want to be connected with people and feel them in their goodness and love. To really understand and feel them authentically. Your heart shows you the way. Come back to yourself. Old habits don't resonate for you. You feel where you want to go. You can achieve anything you want. Do you really want? Yes, I see that desire is the prerequisite for the path. Do you feel it too? Yes. Thank you.

 

May 30, 2021

God, you are so gracious. The world comes alive and I am here. Why do I deserve this existence? You deserve it because you exist. Existence is the meaning and purpose. The earning is that you are here. Now, just flow. [But] resistance arises. You know yourself.

 

June 16, 2021

Dear God. Again and again I forget that I have been in this state for months. Again and again I learn that the habitual ways do not feel good. I feel guilty that I hadn't started all these months. 3 weeks ago I had also spoken with a fellow student of mine, and yesterday she reminded me that I already stressed myself out 3 weeks ago about the importance of passing the exams and that it was important to start as early as possible with learning. I've never started studying early. I've never started studying when I've learned new material, even though I know it's good for a comfortable, calm, life-enjoying state. I distracted myself. I no longer meditated. By not loving myself because I was too bitter and self-hating about my self-sabotage, I was not going in the right direction. I want to forgive myself that I made the mistake of avoiding my resistance for months. I want to thank myself that I made this mistake so that I could learn from it. I want to thank myself that I have taught myself this. Start now to love yourself.

 

August 11, 2021

Dear God, I can't manage to learn everything from the one subject anymore. I will learn until the end. But it is just too much. I already knew I should have started earlier (1 week would have been enough instead of 4 days). I knew months before that it would be better. I was full of resistance. I'm having a breakdown now. I had suicidal thoughts. But I see that even if I don't pass the subject that I can continue studying. Life always gives and gives. There is always a way. I can work while studying. [...] But nothing has happened yet. I continue to study. I listen to my body. You are your goodness.

 

September 6, 2021

Dear God. Today I realized that I won't be able to study for the other subject. [...] It's all good now. And I can also start my all-important meditation and journal writing habit again. I really hope I can leave myself behind. No, this isn't working. I hope I can put this resistance behind me. I'm crying right now. It doesn't feel good at all to be in resistance for months. Actually, it has been for years. I want to flow. I want to have the inspiring feeling of creating my life. There is so much beauty in experiencing life and the bittersweet creation of the life path because it is ultimately finite. There is so much beauty and love in that. [There is so much beauty] in trying to create something and in the inevitable end. But the end is a belief. And yet it feels so real. That you can experience this. Existence is a gift. A dance that dances only for itself. The love in it. Just to be able to feel something. It is a gift. There is so much love in it. In the suffering. In the striving. In expansion and contraction. How beautiful the world is. How gracious the world can be that by contracting you feel that you are striving expansion. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. You are precious. You are everything I wanted. You are perfect. I love you my child. I love you too. I can never give you a present that would show my gratitude that you allow existence. This self-love is too much for me to bear. I love you. I move on. You are unconditional, I know. Never mind, I move on now. Good night. Love you.

 

October 30, 2021

I feel inspired. It is late at night. I am writing here even though it would be better for me to go to sleep now. But I sense how I feel. I listen to SLEEP. Now after looking up the timestamp, I don't feel it anymore. That's ok. The body also just says no in a dynamic way. Even if the mind wants to continue now, it is just right to go to bed. Good night. I see you. You are held. You are embraced. Forever. I feel this love breaking me. Take care of yourself. I wish you everything.

 

January 7, 2022

[Writing about a completion conversation with a former friend+ of mine] This self-centeredness and avoidance (& thus insecurity) is really something that remains from my teenage years. And because I hadn't really noticed it before, it's the thing that equals the most growth. I don't feel ready for a relationship. I feel that I'm just using people for fulfilling my needs. Here I am. I like to describe it nicer, especially to tell myself that I am further along. But that is not the case. And that's okay. Oh, [LR]. You are so loved. Be here. Just be here where you are and love yourself. Holy fuck, I feel uncomfortable to show who I am. Especially to myself. I am my best trickster.

 

January 15, 2022

I stop consuming topics with God, goodness, infinity, existence etc. [...] I will not give up meditation, but I will stop deconstructing my perception and doing self-Inquiry. [...] it's still a good way to stop spiritual bypassing and ground myself in ordinary life. Even if deconstructing my world and questioning the self is the way to go, I will stop to build the foundation. You cannot build the roof on non-existent walls, and you cannot build non-existent walls on a non-existent foundation. And when the house is there, then you can ask yourself if it is true at all. Before that, it is just dreaming and not functional. Be guided by your heart. Yes, it feels good to continue meditation and finally focus on the basics.

 

January 16, 2022

[Feeling the presence in me coming forth] Oh God, please don't. You see. You are aware. This is my gift. Writing to itself. Through you. I love you. Always. Here. Existence is the greatest gift.

 

June 2, 2022

[Wanting to complain how miserable I am in order to get a channeling.] I call upon you. You know your goodness.

 

June 8, 2022

[Writing about how God calls me. Towards the end I noticed a heaviness or seriousness in myself.] Just let go my child.

 

June 20, 2022

Now in the last few weeks in order to fundamentally change my behavior I need to focus no matter how I feel and want to escape. Please show me the way. You already know the way.

 

February 13, 2023

I feel the black hole of [depressive] emptiness inside me. I feel it in my solar plexus. I feel it in my neck and forehead. I feel tension and stress in my neck, face, and chest. And the black hole is the most noticeable of all these sensations. I also notice a slight headache from the stress and the inner condemnation that I am not acting according to my intuition. But I also notice at the same time that I have little energy to act. I hope that I will feel good after I have worked today. Please, God, can you send me a message with which I can get through today and always come back to my strength? You are not that attachment to the energy-sucking hole.

 

March 2023

[Complaining and being in victim mentality] Please give me strength. I cannot give you what you already have/are.

 

July 28, 2023

[Feeling the pain which I caused myself for years because I never expressed myself and the love in my heart.] You are so loved. [...] Do you want to be you? Do you really want to know yourself? Then there will be fear. Only you will remain when you go in that direction.

Edited August 23, 2023 by Loving Radiance
corrected dates, typos and format of channeled writing, and added a new entry

[Loving Radiance]

November 21st, 2023

[Being in a community meeting for processing personal emotional topics, when I focused on there being no separation between my body and the world. I felt & heard the voice in me.] This human experience is precious. Experience everything of it.

Edited November 22, 2023 by Loving Radiance

[Loving Radiance]

Dezember 5th, 2023

[After being Love in a trippy kundalini experience on Saturday night. In a community meeting.] Let Love be your core. Love is your essence.

[Loving Radiance]

January 27, 2024

Dear God, I sit here early in the morning after activating and sensing my body with a morning dance. I planned to feel each morning to feel universal love, however I notice that I am currently in a low self-esteem and sad psyche part. I cannot feel love. It's as if I want to walk through a wall of gelatine, but it's holding me back. I want to feel the love. I want to feel my whole being. I'd like to feel that love flows through my whole being and comes from my innermost source. There is deep love in sadness. Love that sadness. Drop deep. The way of love is not avoidant or rejecting. It's all-embracing. Feel all the hurt and pain. The despair and suffering. The resistance. You don't have to do [love] or prove yourself worthy [of love]. It moves through your entire being. It is always here. The energies of sadness or pain might seem to cover it, but it is still here, always. I see that it is a state of being, and not of doing. Yes, let that sink into your entire being. It's a state of openness, which embraces all that is. It seems to be a state of consciousness which is beyond any "doing" of love. Let it sink in. Yes, I see how it is a way of carrying myself.