Playing with Perspectives

[UnbornTao]

 

Edited Tuesday at 12:39 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Some of my recent communications have at times been unnecessarily dismissive and harsh. This is a reminder not to undermine the contemplation work because of personal challenges.

Edited Tuesday at 12:41 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

We usually are actively looking for things to believe in! That’s what humans seem to be up to, for the most part—especially in spiritual or philosophical circles. Believing is easy and convenient, while genuine investigation is challenging. It demands discipline, time, and effort, and it can threaten our existing worldview, self-identity, and attachments.

Edited Tuesday at 12:47 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Excuses are used to justify your behavior, making you appear 'good' and right in your own mind so you can continue doing what you’re doing. They’re a way of avoiding responsibility--letting you off the hook.

What if you stopped making excuses? Consider simply acknowledging to yourself what you do--and what you don’t, with no story to explain or justify it.

"I did this--or didn't--and am willing to face the consequences, whether negative or positive."

Edited Tuesday at 01:11 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Notice whether you play the game of life to create what you want or to avoid loss.

Avoiding loss shows up in various ways:

1. Don’t play any game. Don’t take anything up. Be complacent. The reasoning here is: if I don’t play, I can’t lose.
2. Avoid completing anything. You can’t lose if it’s left unfinished.
3. Do it half-heartedly. “But I didn’t really try” is yet another way to avoid loss.
4. Keep others from winning. You appear to lose when others win--so you sabotage their efforts to keep your position of relative safety. If no one wins, then (you think) you haven’t lost.
5. Play the nice guy/girl role. Pretend to like everyone, be nice to everyone, so we can all silently agree that you haven’t lost. It’d be rude for them to tell you otherwise.
6. Turn yourself into the game. Become a problem so that you become the center of attention. Get sick, throw tantrums, destroy the game--whatever it takes to make others stop playing and take care of you.
7. Adopt the judge’s role. Play “the righteous judge.” Since you’re not actively creating the results you want, you attack others’ vitality and enthusiasm instead. Criticize, blame, denigrate, troll, sabotage, act righteous, “debunk”--so your relative position appears good and “right,” despite producing no significant result in your own life.

Does any of the above resonate with you? Have you encountered people who operate this way?

Edited Tuesday at 01:18 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

A sense that arises from our deep-seated self-doubt is the tendency to trust the veracity of another’s expression more than our own, which often seems to ring hollow. Since we make a distinction between the objective world--external to and independent of ourselves--and the workings of our own minds, what comes from this “objective world” is given precedence over our own fabrications. We are acutely aware that our experience is profoundly subjective, and we would do well to recognize that the same holds true for the experiences of others--even though, for each of us, "others" belong to what we regard as the domain of the objective world.

Edited Tuesday at 01:37 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Investigate how resisting your present experience relates to anxiety.

Edited Tuesday at 03:11 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

It's Ralph all the way down.

Edited Tuesday at 03:12 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Watching The Simpsons:

 

Edited Tuesday at 03:13 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

 

Edited December 4, 2023 by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

The emotion of anger is generated by you in order to protect the hurt and vulnerable person hiding behind the emotion. In this case, being more honest would require allowing yourself to feel the feeling of hurt--and to be that hurt individual.

Edited Tuesday at 03:18 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

As a week-long exercise, stop judging altogether, not even subtly. Catch yourself whenever it happens, and simply take notice.

Edited Tuesday at 03:20 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

What roles do you take on in relation to others? What do you assume about yourself—and about how others should perceive you?

In the presence of others, I feel I have to be, play, or show up as...

1. Social / Identity Roles

• The rebel, the “bad one”
• The good one, the obedient
• The charismatic leader
• The loner, the lone wolf
• The princess, the prince
• The macho, the feminine one
• The intellectual, the wise one
• The ignorant, the fool
• The spiritual, the mystic
• The religious
• The conservative
• The progressive, the liberal

2. Emotional / Affective States

• Vulnerable, exposed
• Strong, invulnerable
• Shy, reserved
• Angry, intimidating
• Ashamed, guilty
• Loved, cherished
• Admired, respected
• Doubtful, insecure
• Apathetic, disconnected
• Anxious, restless

3. Attitudes / Behaviors

• Controlling, dominant
• Submissive, compliant
• Funny, sarcastic
• Serious, rigid
• Agreeable, approved
• Disagreeable, confrontational
• Mysterious, reserved
• Open, transparent
• Inquisitive, skeptical
• Disillusioned, cynical

4. Self-Perceptions / How I Think Others See Me

• Problem, burden
• Inspiration, example
• Victim, misunderstood
• Center of attention
• Invisible, ignored
• Strange, unexpected
• Stupid, clumsy
• Intelligent, competent
• Eccentric, “crazy”
• Charismatic, charming

Final reflection note:

What you assume about yourself shapes the core of your character and behavior and forms the foundation of your relationships.

Edited Tuesday at 03:36 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

 

Edited Tuesday at 03:21 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

In what way am I being such that:

1. I seem to be stuck?
2. I’m approaching this (experience, event, person, object, whatever) the way I am — whether powerful, weak, afraid, brave, reserved, curious, confrontational, etc.?

On another note, the following dynamic may be self-validating:

I assume X about myself, then act like X, and am therefore perceived by others as X, which gives me feedback that validates my initially adopted self-image: “I am indeed X. See? This is the proof.”

Edited Tuesday at 03:43 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Try to shift into the place where you are the source of--and the cause in the matter of--your experience. For example, be joyful. Create that as a real experience.

Edited Tuesday at 06:13 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Various inaccurate analogies for enlightenment--illustrating how no method is direct.

Enlightenment is like:

• catching your own shadow
• taking steps to arrive where you already are
• building a bridge to reach the place you’re standing
• an eye trying to see itself
• biting your own teeth

You can’t find yourself within your experience, which is the only “place” you can look, and yet, perhaps paradoxically, you can become conscious of your nature.

Edited Tuesday at 06:17 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Why do things always seem to or appear as? Is there something beyond our impression of things? Why is it that, when examined closely, things are far less certain and fixed than they first appear?

Edited Tuesday at 06:27 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Effectiveness tends to increase in proportion to how much you get yourself out of the way.

Recognizing when your actions veer off-purpose, and immediately correcting course, requires careful attention to every step of the process.

Edited Tuesday at 06:27 PM by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

Keep track of the purpose of the interaction throughout the entire process.

Edited Wednesday at 04:43 PM by UnbornTao