What To Do Once You Have Identified Source Of Your Mental Issues / Childhood Trauma?

[ClearThought]

Suppose you have identified the main source and point at which self esteem issues and all the other mental issues had arisen from.

What to do next? How do you get rid of these complexes / childhood trauma?

Are there any methods to deal with this?

[Alicja_]

@ClearThought For me the realisation of the causes somehow alleviated the pain around them. Then, I started to learn more about self-acceptance. It really helped me to stop beating myself up and criticizing myself for who I am, how I think, etc. I stopped judging myself. (OK, I still do judge or criticize myself on occassions, but I'm in the process of recovery). And one of the ways I did it (and still do it) is mainly through mindfulness. When  some emotional pain arises I let it be. I don't distract myself from suffering when it happens. And I used to do it a lot with alcohol, drugs, food, TV, people, etc.   This is actually an interesting concept because when I feel this pain inside me to the fullest and  just let it be, after some time, the pain stops being negative and undesirable in itself. It is just a feeling, a sensation, deprived of any negativity. Only the thoughts make it negative. If you let go of them what is left is just a feeling. Then it may get dissolved into nothingness cos it is not fueled by thoughts anymore. You can develop calmness through mindfulness if you practice it on everyday basis. 

Also when you feel that you hold a grudge against someone who was hurting you in the past (if there is such an issue), mindfulness and a concept of self-responsibility  helped me with this. I stopped blaming people for who I am cos now I can take a responsibility for my own life and direct it the way I want. I stopped treating my traumas as  an excuse for staying passive. 

When a self esteem is shuttered due to a childhood trauma there are some ways to fix it and rebuild it, even from a scratch. I think some important areas to consider are developing self-acceptance and self-love no matter how you feel right now. Then take responsibilty to build up your self esteem. You can gain some valueable information from books. One of the best on self esteem I've read is "Six pillars of self-esteem" by Nathaniel Branden, I'd highly recommend it to you. The book has some exercises designed to help you increase your self-esteem as well as an overall awareness of how self-esteem works. 

I hope it helps a little. 

Edited December 31, 2016 by Alicja_

[philosogi]

@ClearThought A good therapist can help you. But you can also do it yourself if you have the will and persistence. For me, it involves always returning to awareness of the issue when I realize I've lost it. External triggers cause the issue to be more painful at some points, and I see those moments as opportunities to examine and feel the pain and the thoughts around them with a lot of curiosity; asking myself (sometimes asking the current "me" and sometimes the childhood "me") a lot of questions about it, and noticing any judgments. It helps to take notes. Sometimes there's grief, which is welcome. My dad used to point out his tears of joy, and these tears of grief seem almost at the same tears of joy/relief at being able to express the repressed pain. The denial learned for everyday life is reduced a little bit. The burden gets a little lighter.